The Black Pathway

by Mark C Sutton

  “Well, have you got any new electronic music in? You know the sort of stuff that I’m into… soft, gentle, ambient, ethereal…” asked Howard. Steve grinned, and patted Howard on his bony shoulder.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know the sort of music that you like, Howard.” He said, smiling. “Come and have a look at this.” Steve suggested, and he led Howard towards a rack of cd’s with a label attached at the top that said ‘new releases’.

  Steve pulled a cd from the rack. On the cover, was a photograph of a mountain. He passed the cd to Howard, who read from its cover.

  “‘San Gorgonio… by X Radius Zero.’” Howard looked up at Steve. “Is it any good?” He asked.

  “Well, it’s not really my cup of tea, but I think you’d like it.” Recommended Steve.

  “Can I have a listen?” Requested Howard.

  “Sure, sure.” Answered Steve. He took the cd from off Howard and walked over to a music player that was resting on the shop counter. Steve took a disc from the cd case, and put it in the player. A slow, hypnotic, muffled bass drum began to pulse from the speakers, followed by the sound of a gated synth.

  “It sounds a bit ‘trance’.” Observed Howard. From the speakers came a gentle, lilting piano riff, mixed in with a deep, drawn out bass. “Ah, now, that sounds nice.” Smiled the teenager. At that point, two youths, roughly the same age as Howard, entered the music shop. Howard looked towards the doorway, recognising one of the boys instantly. He was a blonde lad of medium height, wearing a fake leather jacket. The youth looked at Howard and nodded, smirking. His name was Alex Crennell. Some years ago, Howard and Alex had been close friends, but this was no longer the case. In fact, Howard didn’t like Alex at all.

  Alex Crennell nudged his friend, a spindly, spotty youth with greased-back dark hair and a pathetic bit of bum-fluff perched above his top lip. The second youth, whose name Howard didn’t know, looked over towards him. Alex Crennell and his friend began sniggering. Then they turned away from Howard and walked over to a shelf of cd’s.

  “So, what do you think?” Asked Steve. Howard was suddenly confused.

  “Eh? What do you mean?” He queried.

  “The cd? X Radius Zero? Are you interested in it?” Steve wanted to know.

  “Yeah, no… I mean yes. It sounds pretty good. I’ll take it, give it a whirl.” Howard responded. He looked back towards Alex Crennell and his friend, but they were busy sifting through cd’s, and didn’t appear to be taking any notice of him.

  “Nice one, Howard. I thought you’d like it. Come on, let’s run it through the till for you.” Said Steve. He took the compact disc from out of the music player, and put it back in its case. Then Steve walked over to the till, with Howard following behind him.

  Howard Trenton purchased the X Radius Zero cd, bid goodbye to Steve, and hurried out of the shop, eager not to have any dealings with Alex Crennell. To his relief, he wasn’t followed out of the music store. Howard headed back in the direction of the bus terminus. A number eight coach, from the village of Hoffen, was just pulling up at the small row of sheltered bus stops. Howard looked over at the bus as it came to a halt, and saw a familiar person getting off it. It was his cousin, Lucas’s wife, Kay; Howard shared a house with both of them. Another woman, much younger, in her early twenties, got off the bus, and began walking alongside Kay. Howard picked up his pace, quickly catching up with Kay and her mystery friend. He tapped Kay from behind, on her shoulder. She turned around, as did the other woman that she was with.

  Kay smiled when she saw Howard.

  “Oh, hello Howard.” She greeted him. Howard smiled.

  “Hi Kay.” He replied. He looked at Kay’s mysterious friend and smiled. God, she’s beautiful, thought Howard, taking in the woman’s large brown eyes and flowing, auburn hair. “Hi.” He said to the young woman, who immediately smiled back at Howard.

  “Howard, this is my sister, Mary. Mary, this is Lucas’s cousin, Howard. Howard shares the house with us, don’t you?” Said Kay.

  “Yes, I do.” Replied Howard, his throat feeling suddenly dry.

  “If it’s okay with you, Howard, then Mary is going to be stopping with us for a while too.” Announced Kay, unexpectedly.

  “Oh… sure. Why?” Howard responded, slightly stumbling with his words.

  “I’ve had a bit of a run-in with my landlord.” Advised Mary. “He’s a sleazy little shit-bag, always trying it on… I’ve had enough of it. I’ll be stopping at Kay and Lucas’s house until I can find a new place to rent out.” Howard looked down at a large suitcase that Mary was clutching.

  “Ah, that explains why you’ve got some luggage with you.” He said.

  “I haven’t really got much choice in leaving… I can’t stop in the flat, with that creep Barney Robbins sleazing around, for a moment longer.” Said Mary, more to herself than anyone else.

  “So you’re okay with Mary moving in with us for a short while?” Asked Kay, for a second time.

  “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine with me.” Howard smiled, before suddenly feeling uncomfortable. He gazed at Mary for a few moments, and his stomach knotted. It was exactly the same way that he felt when talking to Kate Williams at college.

  Chapter Three

  Anita Morley walked along Coldsleet promenade, holding the hand of her three and a half year-old son, Jack. Holding Jack's other hand was Howard Trenton.

  "Are you ready to go up into the air again, Jack?" Asked Howard.

  "Again! Jump please!" Said Jack, excitedly.

  "What do you reckon, Mommy? Do you think Jack deserves to have another fly?" Howard asked Anita, winking at her.

  "Absolutely." She replied.

  "Okay then. One… two… three!" Howard counted down. On the announcement of the number three, Howard and Anita pulled Jack upwards. He squealed with delight, and then hovered in the air for a few moments, his little legs thrashing about excitedly. After his mom and Howard had eased Jack back down to the pavement, he asked if they could do it again.

  "Maybe after we've had some lunch, eh Jack." Replied Anita. "You've spent more time airborne than actually walking, since we left the house."

  "Promise after lunch, mommy? More jumps?" Said Jack.

  "I think that we can definitely manage lots more jumps for Jack after we've eaten." Promised Howard. The little boy grinned, satisfied with Howard’s assurance.

  "Do you fancy 'Lisa's Pantry'? Howard asked Anita.

  "Anywhere's fine, Howard." She answered. Anita was a tall, bespectacled woman, aged twenty seven, with long, treacle-coloured hair that always appeared lank and greasy, even when it actually wasn't. Up until half a year ago, before her relationship had broken up, Anita and Jack had lived in the same road as Howard Trenton, but she had known him long before that, too; When she was a little girl, Anita and her parents had, for a while, lived next door to Loretta Trenton, Howard’s mother.

  Anita, little Jack, and Howard approached a run-down cafeteria. The signage above the shop doorway had been deliberately vandalised, with some of the plastic lettering missing, so that it read, 'Lisa Panty'. Howard couldn't help but chuckle to himself at this, even though experience told him that, in all probability, it was the work of his old enemy, Alex Crennell, or, at the very least, one of his goons, such as Gary Ackley, or Rob Mills. Howard pushed at the door of the café, and held it open for Anita and Jack to go through. He followed them into the cafeteria, and the three of them sat down at a table in the corner. The proprietor, who, unsurprisingly, was called Lisa, came shuffling over to the trio.

  "Morning Howard, Anita, Jack." She greeted them. Jack was the first to speak.

  "'Lisa hello!" He said, back-to-front. Lisa gave Jack a smile.

  "Hi Lisa. How are things?" Asked Anita.

  "Oh, you know, same old same old. Yourself?"

  "We're getting by, thanks." Anita replied. Lisa turned to Howard.

  "And what about you, young man? How's college?" She asked.

  "Pretty naff." Answered Howard, wearing a sour smi
le. “But it keeps me off the streets, I suppose.” He grinned.

  “Well, that’s something to be grateful for, I suppose.” Joked Lisa, a short, stout, grey-haired woman in her late fifties. “How’s Lucas and Kay keeping?” Enquired Lisa.

  “They’re both fine, thanks Lisa.” Said Howard, who reached across the table and ruffled little Jack’s hair.

  Lisa asked what Howard and his friends would like to order, then wandered off into the kitchen area of the cafeteria.

  "So, have you seen Lennie?" Asked Anita, referring to her former partner, and Jack's father.

  "Every now and again." Replied Howard.

  "And is he still with her?" Anita went on, in reference to Julia Vince, the woman who Lennie had enthusiastically embarked on an affair with, behind her back.

  "Afraid so." Answered Howard, looking down at the table.

  “The tosser." Cursed Anita Morley. Immediately, she put a hand over her mouth. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, not in front of Jack." Apologised Anita. The toddler, who was sat on a chair between Howard and Anita, was playing with one of the plastic cafeteria menu's, and hadn't noticed his mother's mild profanity. Howard looked up at Anita.

  "Lucas reckons that they're always arguing." He informed his friend.

  "Really?" Anita responded.

  "That's what Lucas tells me."

  "Do you know what they argue about?" Anita asked, with curiosity. Howard shook his head.

  "Nah, I don't." He answered. Anita leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table, and tilting her head to one side, so that she was looking at Jack, who appeared to be mesmerised by the plastic menu.

  "Knowing Lennie, he's probably got bored of her by now… he'll have someone else, waiting in the wings." Anita said, whilst smiling at her son.

  "Probably." Agreed Howard Trenton. He gazed out of the cafeteria window. It had started to snow lightly outside.

  Howard stretched his legs under the table, and yawned.

  "Sorry, it's the biology, not the company." He apologised.

  "Are you tired, Howard?" Enquired Anita.

  "Yeah, a little bit. I was up late last night, catching up with coursework and stuff. Then, afterwards, I couldn't get to sleep." Howard informed his friend.

  "Oh, why not? You're not worrying about anything, are you?" Anita asked, concerned.

  "No, I don't worry too much about anything, really. That doesn’t mean that I’m not always thinking about stuff, though… not worrying, just thinking… you know how it is, things going around and round in your head.” Howard confided.

  “What sort of stuff? That is, if you don’t mind me asking.” Said Anita. Howard waved his hand.

  “Of course I don’t mind you asking. How long have we been mates for?” He reminded Anita, who smiled.

  “I’ve known you since you were born. I can still remember the day that your mom brought you home from hospital… I was nine, or ten at the time… you were such a cute little thing, a really gorgeous baby…”

  “Ah, shut up, you’re making me blush.” Said Howard. Anita gave Howard a playful push on his upper arm.

  “No, I won’t shut up! You’re still gorgeous, Mister Trenton.” Anita crooned. Howard and Anita’s eyes locked for a second, before Howard looked away, embarrassed.

  “I’m really not.” He muttered. Anita gave him a kick underneath the table.

  “Yes you are. Stop putting yourself down all of the time.” She said.

  Anita put her hand on Howard’s.

  “So, are you gonna tell me about this stuff that’s keeping you awake at night?” She asked. Howard thought about the new addition to his home, Mary Broderick, but he wasn’t going to mention that to Anita; he didn’t want to upset her.

  “Oh, just all sorts of crap, really. I think about my mom a lot… I still miss her.” Said Howard. Anita squeezed his hand.

  “That’s only natural, Howard.” She pointed out.

  “And I don’t really know what I’d like to do, you know, when I’ve finished college.” Said Howard.

  “Uni?” Suggested Anita. “You’re a natural academic. You’d do well at University.” She added. Howard shrugged his shoulders.

  “I’m not sure if it’s for me.” He replied. At that moment, Lisa returned to the table carrying a large tray.

  “Here you go. Two burgers and fries, one small fish fingers and fries, two cokes and one lemonade.” Said Lisa. She lifted the food and drinks from off the tray and onto the table.

  “Burgers look nice, as always.” Commented Howard.

  “Best burgers in Coldsleet.” Added Anita, which made Lisa smile.

  “Flattery will get you nowhere… you won’t be getting a discount.” She laughed. “But only because I can’t afford to give you one.”

  “I wouldn't accept a discount, Lisa. I’m more than happy to pay full-price for your wonderful fare… it’s worth every penny.” Howard said, in a put-on, gushing voice.

  “What are you like?” Responded Lisa, and she cuffed Howard softly on the back of his head, which caused some of his hair to stick up in the air. Jack pointed at the gravity-defying strands, then began to giggle.

  “Ha, Howard funny hair!” He said. Howard pulled his tongue out at the youngster, which caused Jack to laugh even more.

  “Come on, big guy.” Howard said to the young boy, as he flattened the strands of hair back down. “Let’s eat! Bet you can’t finish all of that food!” He teased. Anita watched as Howard laughed and joked with her young son, and couldn’t help but smile.

  ***

  After their lunch, Anita, Jack and Howard left ‘Lisa’s Pantry’, and walked down to Coldsleet’s pebbled beach. They strolled along, Anita and Howard either side of Jack, holding his hands, lifting him into the air every few moments.

  “Thanks again for lunch, Howard.” Said Anita, with gratitude.

  “You’re more than welcome, Anita.” Nodded Howard. “One… two… three!” He said, looking down at Jack. The pair pulled the young boy up into the air. “Christ, I might actually start developing biceps at this rate.” Howard said to Anita. He looked back down to Jack. “You’re getting a big boy now, Jack. You weigh a ton.” He said.

  “Howard. Can I talk to you about something?” Asked Anita.

  “Yeah, sure.” Answered Howard. He glanced out to the ocean; it looked cold and miserable, just like the clouds that loomed over it.

  “Well, you remember what I proposed to you, the last time we met up?” Said Anita. Howard couldn’t help but smile to himself.

  “Yes, Anita. How could I forget?” Came his response. “And nothing’s changed. The answer’s still ‘no’.” He immediately advised her. Anita sighed.

  “But why? I still don’t understand. Is it the age gap between us?” She enquired.

  “It’s got nothing to do with that, Anita, it really hasn’t.” Howard told her.

  “Then what is it? I mean, you and I, we’re attracted to each other, right?” Anita asked.

  “You know that we are.” Conceded Howard Trenton. “I just can’t get involved with you. Not in that way.”

  “Surely it wouldn’t hurt though, to just give things a go? If it didn't work out…”

  “No, Anita. It’s not going to happen.” Said Howard, firmly. As much as I’d love to, I can’t get close to you, he privately thought. Howard looked down at Jack and smiled, and that little boy is the reason why. I’d never, ever hurt a child, but I’d hurt you, Anita, if we had a relationship and it failed… that’s what I do… I can’t stop myself… I hurt people… but I’m not prepared to put a kid through the misery of having his mom ripped away from him.

  ***

  After they had visited the beach, Howard walked with Anita and Jack, until they approached the row of shops where “Steve’s Vinyls’ store was located.

  “I’m going to have a mooch inside, then head off home.” Said Howard.

  “Okay. When do you want to meet up again?” Asked Anita, who was still carrying around disappointm
ent in her heart at Howard’s earlier rejection. “Actually, is there any point in us meeting up again?” She suddenly asked.

  “Don’t be like that, Anita. You’re my best friend. And so is little Jack here, too.” He replied, ruffling the little boy’s hair with his fingers. “I would love for us to all be together, properly, as a family. I really would. But I’ve got reasons why that can’t happen, and they’re very compelling reasons, too. If I could tell you, then I know that you’d understand…”

  “Try me.” Interrupted Anita. Howard gave her a sad smile.

  “If only I could, but it’s not that easy. One day though, you’ll probably work out for yourself the reason why.” Said Howard, with an unintended air of mystery. That’s because I know that I’m not indestructible, or infallible, and that I’ve already done some terrible, horrible things. Some day in the future - when, I don’t know - I’m going to get caught. My dirty, rotten secrets will be exposed to the whole fucking world. It’s inevitable. People like me always get found out, in the end. We think that we’re clever, but we’re not… not really. If we were clever, we wouldn’t be doing the things that we do in the first place.

  Howard knelt down and gave Jack a kiss on his forehead.

  “I’ll see you soon, young man.” He said. “Look after mommy for me.”

  “Bye bye.” Replied Jack. Howard gave the young boy’s hair another ruffle. He stood back up, and pulled a twenty pound note out of his pocket.

  “Here,” he said to Anita, “get Jack something nice.” Howard handed the money to Anita.

  “Howard, you shouldn’t…”

  “Yes, I should. I want to.” Howard cut-in, before his friend could protest any further. He reached out and stroked Anita’s face. “I just wish that I could be different… to be able to give you what we both want… but I can’t.” Howard told her. Anita reached up and held Howard’s hand for a few moments, before letting go.