What He Desires

by Violet Haze

  “I felt weird. Like my brain was fuzzy. That’s all.”

  Relief sweeps through his face. “You’re probably hungry. I’ll order some pizza.”

  He pulls out his phone and starts tapping on the screen.

  “Guess I made quite the impression, huh?”

  “Yep.” He grins as he puts the phone up to his ear. “Scared the shit out of all of ‘em. You’ll get fawned over in the morning.”

  “Can’t wait.”

  As he starts talking to the pizza place, I lift a hand to the back of my head. The tender spot where my head aches only sports a small bump, and my headache is already dissipating.

  Maybe he’s right and I just need to eat. It has been nearly ten hours since I ate.

  I decide not to mention it.

  After all, I’m not even sure I heard it while conscious, even if I believe I did.

  Right as he hangs up the phone, there is a knock at the door.

  “Come in.”

  His sister slips into the room with a gentle smile, shutting the door behind her with a soft click. Like Tobias, she has the same hair and eyes, but her face is fuller and she’s about my height. She comes to stand by the bed, next to where Tobias sits.

  “Mother sent me to check up on you,” she says with a wink at me, then rests a hand on her brothers shoulder. “And you. The look on your face was epic, Toby.”

  Although he rolls his eyes, I can see his affection for his sister in them. “Can it, Breena. Say hello to your future sister-in-law.”

  Her name has me gasping, my eyes slamming shut.

  “Brynja!”

  We’re running through the woods, hands clasped together, yelling at the top of our lungs.

  “Brynja! Where are you? We must return home at once!”

  He is growing frantic every second that she does not answer us. And because he is, I am as well.

  His sister has been gone for hours. If we do not find her soon, the worst will be assumed.

  That cannot happen.

  He needs her. I need her.

  “Brynja, this isn’t funny any longer! Show yourself!”

  Someone taps my cheek.

  “Jocelyn!”

  I force my eyes open to find Tobias in my face. “What? I’m s-sorry. I don’t know…”

  Fuck, I don’t even know what to say. What the hell just happened?

  Breena is standing back, the corner on her face mirroring his, her lips pursed in thought.

  He cups my face in his hand, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Are you all right? You looked like you passed out.”

  “Perhaps we should take her to the hospital,” Breena suggests. “She might’ve hit her head harder than we think.”

  “No, I didn’t.” I put my hands in the air, palms up to indicate ‘I don’t know’ as I shrug. “My head doesn’t hurt. I think I am really hungry.”

  I despise lying.

  But I’m not sure what the hell is going on, and until I figure it out, I’m not saying one damn word.

  Before they can say anything else, the doorbell rings.

  Tobias releases my chin with one final look of concern, then turns toward the door. “That’ll be the pizza. I’ll be right back.”

  Breena doesn’t even give me a chance to blink before she says, “Me too! I need something to drink.”

  She leaves the room on his heels.

  I don’t care.

  I’m glad to have a second to myself.

  Since I’m pretty sure I’m going insane, I may not have many of those moments left.

  The thought makes me chuckle.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  After some pizza, I’m feeling much better.

  Tobias throws in some random comedy movie and we sit next to each other on the bed, watching and laughing as we eat.

  At ten-thirty, as the credits roll, he announces it’s bedtime.

  Five in the morning comes early for everyone in this house. Or so I’ve been warned.

  I slip out of my clothes, leaving on my undies and tank, climbing into bed and under the blankets. Tobias crawls in moments later, all warm body and fresh minty breath as he snuggles up to me from behind.

  “How’s your head?” He asks, following up with a kiss behind my ear, then on my neck. “All better?”

  “Mmm, it’s fine.”

  He slides one arm under my neck, the other coming around to haul my body closer to his. The pecks grow more firm, into the crook of my neck, followed by my shoulder. He grinds against me, his cock stiff and ready to go. I sigh softly as he continues to tease me.

  “I know it’s been a long day, but…”

  Men! They’re all the same.

  I would say no if I really didn’t want it. But, his touch, his kisses, and the promise of having his cock inside me in just a few moments is too much to resist.

  However, if he wants it, he’s going to have put effort into it.

  Do all the work, that is.

  “Yes, it has,” I respond softly. “I’m not moving. I’m comfy.”

  The hand keeping my lower body pressed against his slips inside and down to my pussy as he snickers against my shoulder. “No problem, Joce. You simply lay there and enjoy. I love pleasing you.”

  “If you keep talking, I’ll fall asleep and you won’t get to do anything, let alone please me.”

  He slips the underwear down my legs.

  I kick them off.

  His hand comes back to teasing me, two fingers sliding up and down between my lips, making me squirm. The arm around my neck moves down to under my torso, where he uses it to bring our bodies flush, as close as two people can be. He sneaks his hand under my tank and fondles my breast, rolling the nipple between his fingers, causing it to pebble before pinching it.

  I moan, his action simultaneous with the penetration of his two fingers.

  “You’re so wet for me already.” He pulls out slightly, then thrusts them back in, his thumb toying with my clit. “Fuck. I need to be inside you.”

  That’s what I need, too.

  “Do you want my cock buried in you, Joce?” At my nod, he nips my ear. “Say it. Tell me how much you want it.”

  Removing his fingers, I sob at the loss, “Please. I need your cock inside of me. Fuck me, please. I want you to fuck me now.”

  He positions himself perfectly, pushing into me inch by inch, without me having to move position at all.

  He continues to play with me as he fucks me, each plunge of his cock on the border between gentle and firm, yet swift. I cover my mouth with my arm to stifle my moans and whimpers of pleasure. With my legs together, I feel every inch of him and the pleasure has me clenching around him.

  “Do it again,” he demands, moaning in bliss as I oblige. “Damn, that’s hot. I love when you squeeze around me like that, as if your pussy is hugging my cock.”

  I’m incoherent as I come, clenching around him involuntarily. His grip around me tightens as he speeds up, my body going limp until finally, he comes with a muffled moan of his own.

  I lift a hand and tap his in a reassuring manner. “I’m glad you like my cock hugs.”

  The last thing I recall before falling asleep is him chuckling.

  ~*~

  They are dragging him away from me.

  His eyes never leave mine. He struggles, but we both know all hope is lost.

  We will never be together.

  I sob as I’m held back by my brothers, unable to run after him. Unable to give him one final kiss.

  Then suddenly, they stop walking and my entire insides fill with dread.

  One of the three men holding him pulls out a knife and stands behind him.

  I open my mouth as I scream, yet no sounds emerge.

  His stare holds mine, shining with love and defiance, completely aware that his life is about to end.

  I know why they do this. They have big plans. Plans for me to marry a wealthy and very influential man. They do not want me with him because he can do nothing for them except love
me.

  Why won’t they let me be loved?

  In my peripheral vision, I see my aunt step forward. I don’t look her way. My gaze never leaves my beloved.

  Her voice rings out, every line of the curse she reads bone-chilling:

  Seven lives you shall spend,

  Searching every corner and bend;

  The one you seek never far,

  Yet still distant as a star.

  Lessons you shall learn

  Without them you will burn;

  Never to escape the heat

  Unless together your two hearts beat.

  Every obstacle in your way,

  Means neither of you stay;

  Without the other to cherish,

  Forever you shall perish.

  The knife is placed at his throat and that is when the scream rips from my throat, piercing the air with my anger and grief.

  I’m forced backward with a hand over my mouth as Þórsteinn’s piercing gaze softens, his mouth lifting up in one last smile just for me as he shouts, “Ek elska þik, Jórunnr!”

  I love you too!

  But he doesn’t hear me, my face shoved into my brothers chest and held there as they murder him without my witness. And when I am released, my grief gives way to insanity, taking over my actions. I grab my brothers knife and place the tip against my neck, moving away quick as I keep them all in my line of vision.

  I shriek, “How dare you? If I cannot have him, then you cannot have me!”

  And before they can react to try and stop me, I smile at the thought that soon I will join my love in death, then stab myself in the place where I will bleed out.

  It’s not long before the world goes black.

  ~*~

  I wake up gasping for breath.

  Bringing my hands up to my neck, I pat around it and down my chest, reassuring my brain it was all a dream.

  A sick, twisted trick of my mind, replacing the face of a man who gets his head cut off with Tobias. And has me killing myself over his death.

  Only in my dreams will I ever be that devoted.

  I toss aside the covers as I notice two things: the sun is shining brightly…and Tobias is not in bed.

  I figured he would wake me up, but then again, I had scared the shit out of them last night. Twice.

  Grimacing, I get out some clothing and head to the bathroom to take a shower, wishing I could make sense of what has happened enough to bring it up to Tobias without sounding as if I am crazy.

  As the hot water runs through my hair and down my body, I think about the dream I had last night once more.

  I remember his name — Þórsteinn — and what had he called the girl? Jórunnr, that’s it. What had he yelled at her? Ek elska þik. “I love you, too,” she’d said.

  What language is that? I’ll have to look it up later.

  Well, if I can figure out how to spell it.

  Then, there’s that poem.

  Just thinking about it gives me chills , causing me to shiver as if I’m not standing under water hot enough to burn.

  I’ve never been much of a dreamer nor one to have nightmares. At least, not since I was a child.

  And to “dream” of things while awake like I had last night freaks me out more than I can possibly articulate. I hadn’t been sleeping like they thought; it had felt like a memory slamming it’s way back into my mind, like a long lost friend calling you out of the blue one day.

  I know it’s insane.

  I’m not remembering these things as if they happened to me. They are long ago, in different worlds, with different names.

  Apparently, Tobias is making me crazy in more ways than one.

  Once I finish in the shower, I step out and get dressed.

  It’s when I’m standing in front of the mirror, brushing my hair, that a mark I’ve always had catches my attention.

  I touch it with my hand.

  The mark isn’t very big. As I examine it in the mirror, a real memory from my childhood comes back to me.

  “Daddy, what’s this?”

  He picks me up and places me on his knee, examining the spot I point to on my neck, then chuckles softly. “It’s just a birth mark sweetie. It’s hardly noticeable.”

  “But what is it? Why is it there?”

  “Well, I don’t want to scare you, Luna. Just know you’re beautiful no matter what.”

  “You won’t scare me daddy. Tell me, please!”

  He looks at me for a long moment, my excitement to learn something new reflected in his eyes as he ponders whether to tell me or not. I know he’s trying to make sure I don’t change my mind, but I’m a stubborn girl. I don’t like to give in — and neither does he.

  However, I win when he resigns with a smile. “You asked why it’s there. Well, one theory I’ve heard is that it’s a mark showing how you died in a previous life.”

  I gasp with all the indignation a nine year old can muster as I’m not sure what to say, and he chuckles, ruffling my hair.

  “Go play sweetie. It’s just a mark. Nothing to worry yourself over.”

  Shaking my head, I roll my eyes and put the brush down.

  Much as I loved my father, I don’t believe in past lives. I don’t believe a birth mark is a reminder of how you died.

  What I do believe in is breakfast and damn, I’m starving.

  So I head downstairs hoping I don’t get lost on the way because I’ve no idea where the kitchen is.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Fuck, I’m lost.

  You would think that heading down a hallway toward steps would lead you to the floor below. That when you take those steps down after ascertaining you are on the second floor, you end up on the first floor.

  All things I assume.

  Not true.

  Somehow I end up going through a door that leads to outside into what looks like a garden.

  When I go to head back inside¸ I find the entryway locked.

  And I left my phone upstairs.

  Great.

  I can see this is going to be an awesome day.

  That is about fifty-percent sarcasm.

  After all, it appears to be a lovely area.

  There is a huge water fountain in the middle straight ahead, with three white benches around it. Lots of trees; what kind, I have no clue. It looks as if the area is fenced in, so I head to the left, hoping to find another way inside.

  Rounding the corner, I am nearly run into by the twins, who squeal and attach themselves to my legs.

  I laugh. “Well, hey there you two. Are you out here all alone?”

  They look up at me grinning, eyes shining with mischief. I gather they are about four years old; not that I know much about children.

  “We run from mommy! We play hide-n-seek!”

  Okay, they’re cute, I’ll give them that.

  Releasing my legs as I crouch down, I smile into each of their dark brown eyes. “I’m lost. Will you help me get back inside?”

  Both nod enthusiastically and take a hand on either side of me. A moment or two later, we round a corner and are stopped by their mother.

  “There you are!” Breena smiles at me. “Thanks for returning them. I’m not worried about them getting out since there is only one gate,” she points to the one behind her, “but I still hate when they run off.”

  “Actually, they were helping me. I was headed toward the kitchen and somehow ended up out here. I didn’t know how to get out.”

  She bursts out laughing. “That’ll happen a lot in this house. Make sure you have your phone with you from here on out so my brother can rescue you.” She holds her hands out to the girls. “Come on, you two. Let’s show Jocelyn the kitchen and get ourselves something to eat, hmm?”

  They giggle and release my hands, running to take hers.

  “What are their names?”

  “I’m Tabitha,” one says with a toothy grin, pointing at the other, “and she’s Beatrice.”

  I nod as Breena leads them away, and I follow.
<
br />   T and B.

  Tabitha and Beatrice.

  Tobias and Breena.

  Had she given the siblings the same initials as her and her brother on purpose?

  They seem pretty close. I don’t know why it bothers me like it does.

  I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m missing something.

  What that is I haven’t the slightest clue.

  So I push it aside to examine later as we enter the house.

  ~*~

  His mother is at the stove as we walk in. She turns as the girls laugh, taking seats at the little table in the corner while screaming, “Hi gwandma!”

  “You two ready for breakfast?” She places their plates in front of them as they bob their heads and turns to me. “And how are you this morning?”

  “Oh, I’m fine, thank you.”

  Breena takes a seat at the counter and pats the stool next to her. “Come eat. We don’t need a repeat of last evening.”

  Man, she’s bossy.

  I sit down anyway, hoping Tobias will walk in at any second and save me from being alone with his mother and sister.

  It’s one thing to meet the family; it’s another to face them alone.

  “Where’s Tobias?” I ask as she sets a plate in front of me.

  Two eggs, two slices of bacon, and a couple of strawberries. My stomach growls at the sight.

  Breena laughs. “He’s out chopping wood with dad and our brother. They’ll be in in a few minutes.”

  My fork pauses halfway to my mouth, which is now hanging open. “Chopping wood? As in, with an axe?” Duh, Jocelyn, of course it’s with an axe! “Sorry, stupid question.”

  At the mental image of Tobias shirtless, sweating from the exertion of his activity, my appetite for food is replaced with an intense desire to get him naked again.

  I no longer have to wonder where he got his physical form and stamina from. Apparently, the man milks cows and chops wood on the weekends. I bet he rides horses and rescues cats from trees, too.

  Who would’ve thought? Certainly not me, even after knowing he grew up in the country.

  His mother’s hand covers the one I have resting on the counter. “Not stupid. You look shocked though. Didn’t Tobias tell you he grew up on a farm?”