by Dee Bridle
I couldn’t comprehend anyone wanting to hurt her, and I wondered just how much hurt she had endured over the years. Just the thought of it turned my stomach and fuelled the anger inside.
The moment before she had panicked and pulled away from our kiss, she had started to lose a little control, and I liked it. I liked that I affected her and made her breathing change, losing the cool angry exterior she put on for the rest of the world. I wanted her under me and over me and in whatever capacity I could have her. But I knew she was a little scared of the possibilities between us. Still, I wanted to know what freaked her, so I could make it better. I wanted to show her how it could be if she let it.
She looked over at me at that moment and our eyes connected. My lips curled as she moistened her own lips, and I wondered if she was thinking the same thing as me. She was going to stay with me in my room tonight, and even if I had to sleep on the floor to give her the bed and privacy, I would do it. I wanted her with me any way I could get her.
Zac appeared in front of me, breaking our eye connection.
“Dude, Nick’s here.”
I growled under my breath, any pleasure that I had been feeling dying suddenly. Nick. My brother, the ass-licking corporate douche. The favorite son. I walked through the last of the stragglers and went outside, down to the driveway.
“Hey, little brother!” called Nick, getting out of his car and stumbling.
I could see he was absolutely plastered with alcohol and couldn’t believe he had driven here. He always thought he was above the law. Wanker.
“What are you doing here, Nick?” I asked with a frown.
“Thought I’d come to your little party,” he laughed, looking past me and up the stairs at something.
I eyed the tinted windows of his Maserati and asked, “You by yourself?”
“Ah…there’s a girl in the back,” he said frowning. “She’s passed out, though.”
I swore and said, “And you thought you would bring her here?”
Nick shrugged and said with a laugh, “You know your way around sluts, don’t you?”
Zac walked past me and went to the car, opening the back door and looking in. He stared at me across the car and nodded with confirmation.
I sighed in frustration, suddenly dead sober in the early morning air.
“Why fucking come back here, Nick? I don’t need your problems.”
“Just help out your brother,” he said, loosening his tie. “I’ve had a big night. I’ve probably signed the biggest deal yet, and I was out celebrating.”
“Is she under age?” I asked, walking over to Zac.
“I don’t fucking know. Just help me get rid of her, or wake her up, or something. She’s ruining my buzz,” he said, looking back up the steps.
I looked in the car to see a young girl passed out on the back seat, her tight dress wedged up around her stomach, and her lipstick smudged across her mouth. Zac leaned in and touched her face, moving it side to side, but she was unresponsive.
“What did she take?” I asked.
I looked over and saw that Nick had moved from the car and was now at the bottom of the steps, trying to talk to Ava and Ivy. I instantly growled and stormed over to him.
“What did she fucking take?”
“A little coke, lots of shots,” he said, turning back to engage Ivy. “Are those tatts real? Are they all over? I’m glad I came here all of a sudden.”
I grabbed him by the collar and shoved him back.
“Breathe on her, and you’ll regret it, Nick.”
He stumbled onto the hood of his precious Maserati and started to laugh drunkenly.
“Hey, chill the fuck out. I was just looking.”
“Well, she’s not interested,” I snarled.
Nick only laughed again, covering his eyes.
“I’m not looking, I promise. I can’t see the totally fuckable piece of ass in front of me, I swear.”
I didn’t waste any time sending a hard and fast right hook to his jaw. Nick fell back and slid off the hood, groaning in pain.
“What the fuck!” he shouted, holding his face in pain. “Oh, man, that’s going to bruise!”
Zac came striding over with the passed-out girl in his arms and put her down on the bottom step to get a proper look at her.
Nick tried to sit up and then laughed as he asked, “You want to slip her one too, Zac?”
“Shut up before I bruise the other half of your face, pretty boy,” said Zac leaning over to the girl and tapping her cheeks to wake her up.
I pulled out my phone and called for a cab as Zac took Ivy’s beer from her hand and then poured it over the girl’s face. The girl suddenly gasped, opened her eyes, and proceeded to vomit.
Nick clambered up and pulled a face.
“That’s fucking gross. I’m going home.”
“You’re not driving like this,” I demanded.
I knew if anything happened to him, it would be my fault, because he had left from my party. That’s the way it had been working for years.
“Give me the keys.”
“Go look after your own shit, Noah,” he said, rubbing his jaw as he headed to the car.
“Just fucking let him go,” grumbled Zac, turning back to the girl. “Where do you live?”
“I’m not telling you,” she screeched in a posh tone, getting up from the stairs and looking at both of us. “Leave me the hell alone.”
“With fucking pleasure,” murmured Zac, darkly.
I let out a frustrated sigh and pointed over to the end of the driveway.
“Go wait over there,” Noah said. “I’ve called you a cab.”
She quickly stumbled away, like she was scared of us. She was clearly scared of the wrong guys, and the irony was not lost on me.
Zac huffed, “Brilliant way to end the night. Your brother sure knows how to pick them.”
“My brother is a fucking idiot,” I murmured, watching him follow the girl up the driveway and then getting in the arriving cab with her.
“What did I miss?” asked Will, coming down the stairs with his jeans undone.
“The return of the douche canoe,” said Zac, starting back up the stairs and taking Ava with him. “Fuck, man, can you zip it up? Our girls don’t need to know that you’re fucking freeballing.”
“Don’t be afraid, girls. There’s plenty to go around,” said Will with his arms wide.
His gaze settled on the Maserati, and he said, “Shit, is that Nick’s car? Let’s take it for a spin and fuck it up.”
“And watch Noah get the blame for it? No, thanks,” said Zac, disappearing back inside.
I shook my head and then grabbed the hose from the garden and sprayed the vomit off the bottom steps. It had always been that way. Nick worked our parents and manipulated them for his own gain. He’d been doing it since he was five years old. I had felt the distinction between us even then. The family preferred him over me, always had. He was social and cheeky and won people over with his smile. I was always a little more intense, the younger, quieter one. The gap between us grew so wide that he became the favorite in no time. He was the one who would succeed, who would continue the family’s name in business and do amazing things.
After I got my first tattoo, my father stopped talking to me. I was the son with no hope, the one who lived above the garage, who was misunderstood. It didn’t matter that Nick manipulated everything to his favor and lied through his teeth about everything. He was the achiever, the winner. I was the runner-up, the troublemaker who had tattoos and took drugs.
A quick glance caught Ivy watching me, and I broke away from my thoughts, seeing that Will had gone back inside. It was just the two of us left outside. I flicked some water at her and she put her hands up with a laugh as I put the hose away. I came back over and lit a cigarette, offering it to her. She took it with a silent thanks, and I lit up another one for myself, watching her inhale and then exhale into the early morning air.
“So, I’ve met your brother
now, which is something I never have to do again,” she said quietly with a smile.
I let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed at my jaw.
“Yeah, he’s a royal asshole.”
“Are you sure you’re related?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“He looks nothing like you,” she said next.
I smiled at the compliment.
“Thank you.”
She laughed a little at that and took another drag of the cigarette, sitting down on one of the steps. I went over to join her, sitting down beside her and taking another drag of my cigarette.
“He’s way hotter,” she murmured next.
With a shake of my head, I laughed and gripped the inside of her thigh. She laughed, her legs squeezing together as she tried to get rid of my hand.
“Take that back,” I chuckled.
“No,” she said, laughing and trying to push my hand away.
I watched her laugh. Her eyes were bright under the outside light, and I knew at that moment that I had to kiss her. My lips met hers, and she stopped laughing as she returned my kiss. I didn’t care about my life, its history, or my douche of a brother. All I cared about was the girl in my arms.
Chapter Nine
Ivy
An hour later, I smothered a yawn as I watched Noah laugh with Will and Zac as they sat around the table. They were playing a game of poker with a couple of other friends and my eyelids were starting to become heavy. I tried not to think about sleeping with Noah and couldn’t help but worry about scaring him with my night terrors. The thought of waking him up with my screaming filled me with dread and made me want to sleep on this couch where I was sitting. But I knew Will would be occupying his couch across from me and clearly with the female on his lap right now.
“I’m so tired,” said Ava who sat next to me. “I think I’m going to call it a night.”
I nodded, and said, “Me, too.”
She gave me a cheeky wink and got up from the couch and said, “Sleep well.”
I shook my head at the absurd idea that I would be doing anything more than sleeping. I watched her yawn and walk to the room where I had slept. I had only been here one night, and I was already calling it my room. My god. What was I doing? Was I jumping into this too fast? This had to be temporary, and I had to remember that I was alone. Nothing lasted forever, and I still needed to survive the only way I knew how. I really liked Noah, but I couldn’t take it to the next level, no matter how much I wanted to. I was used goods, and he would find that out soon enough. Then he’d realize the error of his ways.
I didn’t deserve him. I saw all the girls tonight watching him and waiting for a look from him. He had so many choices, but for some reason, he had chosen me. I felt my heart race and the panic set in.
As if tuned in to me, Noah came over, and without a word, he took my hand and pulled me up from the lounge. I let him lead me to his bedroom and looked up at him as he kicked the door shut behind us. He smiled and squeezed my hand, trying to reassure me. It didn’t work, and I bit my lip unsurely.
“I can take the couch,” I said softly.
“With Will? Not on your life,” he returned, moving away and heading towards his bathroom. “Take the bed. I’ll take the floor.”
“No way are you sleeping on the floor, Noah,” I said, running my hand through my hair.
He turned back as he went inside the bathroom and said, “Okay, then. It’s a big bed. We’ll share, and I promise to keep my hands to myself.”
The door closed behind him before I could say anymore.
I sat down on the bed and covered my face. I could do this. He seemed worldly enough to deal with my night sweats and screaming. I only hoped everyone else wouldn’t hear me.
The door opened and he came back out.
“I’m going to play another game of poker, so I’ll see you later on.”
I nodded in silence.
“Ivy.”
I looked up at him, too tired to even try and hide all of my anxieties.
He crouched down in front of me on the bed and took my hands.
“I’ll sleep on the floor,” he whispered to me.
I shook my head and said, “No, I don’t want you to.”
“So, what’s going on?” he asked gently.
“Nothing,” I said with a forced smile. “I forgot my clothes in my…in the other room, that’s all.”
He motioned to his closet and drawers beside it.
“Wear anything you can find, except for the gimp suit.”
I smiled at his humor.
“Your pace, remember?” he said. “We’re friends, sharing a bed, nothing else.”
I swallowed down a lump of emotion and then nodded.
His hand went to my cheek, and he started to caress it with his thumb, over and over again. It was such a tender action that I wanted to close my eyes and suddenly curl up into him.
“They all might hear me scream,” I whispered.
He leaned into me further, his forehead touching mine, his thumb still smoothing my skin back and forth.
“Who gives a fuck? It’s no one’s business except mine.”
My eyes connected with his, and I suddenly felt a wild emotion of something indescribable pass through me.
“Get some sleep,” he whispered sweetly, leaning in and kissing my lips softly.
I wanted more, wanted to jump into him, and devour his sweetness and take comfort. But I knew I was crazy to even entertain the idea, so I leaned back slightly, no longer meeting his eyes.
He stood up and headed towards the door.
“Besides, girls screaming in my bed is kind of normal around here,” he said with a straight face.
I couldn’t help the laugh that came out of me as I threw a pillow at him. He gave a wicked chuckle as he ducked behind the door and closed it behind him.
I sat alone in his bedroom and took the time to look around as I sat on his bed. I heard laughter from the other room and smiled to myself. He had a couple of posters on the wall, but there was nothing else except a laptop on a desk in the corner and clothes everywhere.
I slid off the bed and sauntered over to his chest of drawers. When I opened the top one, I found underwear and socks. I smiled to myself as I quickly closed it again and opened the second drawer. I saw a couple of T-shirts that looked like they had been folded at some point in time. I picked up a black one and sniffed it, having the compulsion to smell him like a crazy person.
I quickly got undressed and put it on, which left me in only the T-shirt and my underwear. After using the bathroom and rubbing some toothpaste onto my teeth with my finger, I climbed into his bed and snuggled under his thick quilt.
I didn’t want to think about all the lucky women who had been in his bed at one time or another. I didn’t want to think of how crazy I was being, doing everything that I swore I never would do. I snuggled into his pillow and suddenly felt so safe and warm. For the first time in a long time, I couldn’t really think of anything else to worry about as my eyes closed, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.
I awoke the next afternoon, feeling really warm as I opened my eyes and tried to remember where I was—Noah’s room. Noah. I felt the warm skin around me, and as I focused my eyes properly, I realized I was snuggled into him.
I lifted my head to see him still asleep beside me and then tried to slowly unwind myself from him so I didn’t wake him. I moved slowly, taking my leg that was across him and feeling something that I probably shouldn’t have. I silently cursed myself and worked on moving away without trying to move him or the quilt wrapped around us. He only had his underwear on and during the split second of moving the quilt, I saw his body in all its amazing glory. Wow.
I quickly looked away and then froze as he moved. His eyes remained closed as he nestled into the pillow and moved his arm towards me. I scooted back in the bed so he missed me and then listened to his breathing even out again. I waited a bit longer before I slipped out of the bed altogether
and silently headed into the bathroom.
I left his T-shirt on and ran my fingers through my knotted hair. I looked into the mirror to see my makeup smudged from last night with my thick false lashes. I wiped under my eyes to get rid of the smudges, and then the realization hit me directly in the face. I hadn’t had a nightmare last night. I had slept through like a normal person and the thought sent excited silent shrills through me. I couldn’t deny that the gorgeous guy in bed out there seemed to fix everything. He was the balm to the scabs of my life, and it scared the living shit out of me.
I took a deep breath as I went back into the bedroom to see that he hadn’t moved and was sleeping soundly. I took a moment to look him over, enjoying the sight of his muscled back with tattoos. Part of me wanted to get back into bed with him, but we weren’t there yet. I decided to let him sleep. I walked into the living room and saw that I was the first one awake.
Heading to the kitchen, I tiptoed past Will who was asleep on his couch with a girl curled up tightly to him. I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually eaten and opened the fridge as quietly as I could. A shiny apple looked back at me amongst the food, and I grabbed it in quiet delight. I turned and grabbed a knife from the sink and cut a piece off. It tasted wonderful, and I felt a tiny bit of happiness at my current situation. I cut another piece off and was about to slide it into my mouth, when I sensed someone behind me.
“Boo,” said a soft and whispering voice from behind me.
Instinct from years of abuse made me swing around without a thought, dropping the apple to the floor. I shoved the person into the wall, raising my hand into the air that held the knife and with a swift move was about to aim the blade directly into the person’s neck. Suddenly and without warning, my ears buzzed and I saw a woman’s face in front of me. Her mouth was moving, but I couldn’t hear any sound. I felt my heart thud loudly in my chest and the sound joined the loud buzzing. Not again. He wasn’t going to hurt me again. I wouldn’t let him torture me without a fight this time.
Her hands went up in surrender and she shouted something at me.
