Elegy For April

by Benjamin Black

  Quirke rose and carried his mug to the sink and rinsed it under the tap and set it upside down on the draining board. He turned, leaning back against the sink, and put his hands into the deep pockets of the dressing gown. “What if it was her?” he said.

  “What?”

  “Hasn’t it occurred to you? It could have been her; it could have been April Latimer. What if it was?”

  Hackett with one finger pushed his hat to the back of his head and with the same finger scratched himself thoughtfully along his hairline. “Why would she be standing in the street on a freezing night like this, looking up at your daughter’s window?”

  “I know,” Quirke said. “It makes no sense. And yet…”

  “Well?” The detective waited.

  “I don’t know.”

  “As you say,” Hackett said. “It makes no sense.”

  21

  IN THE MORNING, AT SOMETHING BEFORE EIGHT, THE PHONE RANG again. Quirke was shaving and came into the bedroom with half his face still lathered. He thought it would be Hackett, to say he had remembered something about the figure in the street. He had offered to drive him home the night before, but then remembered that the Alvis was up at Perry Otway’s place, locked in its garage, and he did not relish the thought of getting it out of there. He said he would call him a taxi, and asked him for his address, but Hackett had waved him away, saying he would walk home, that the exercise would do him good. Quirke was disappointed: he had hoped finally to find out where it was that Hackett lived. They went down to the front door together, Quirke still in his dressing gown, and the detective strolled off into the night, trailing a ghostly flaw of cigarette smoke behind him. In the flat again, Quirke had been unable to get back to sleep, and sat in an armchair in front of the hissing gas fire for a long time. In the end the warmth of the fire sent him into a doze, where he dreamt once more of alarms, and things on fire, and people running. When he woke again it was still dark, and his limbs were stiff from huddling in the armchair, and there was a vile taste in his mouth. And now the phone was going again, and he wished he did not have to answer it.

  “Hello,” Isabel Galloway said, sounding tense and guarded. “It’s me.”

  “Yes,” he said drily, “I recognized your voice, believe it or not.”

  “What? Oh, yes. Good.” She paused. “How are you?”

  “I’m all right. Something of a sleepless night.”

  “Why was that?”

  “I’ll tell you another time.”

  “Listen, Quirke-” Again she stopped, and he had the impression of her taking a deep breath. “There’s someone here who needs to talk to you.”

  “Where are you?”

  “At home, of course.”

  “Who is it- who’s there with you?”

  “Just-someone.”

  The lather drying on his face gave his skin an unpleasant, crawling sensation. “Is she there?”

  “What?”

  “April-is she with you?”

  “Just come, Quirke, will you? Come now.”

  She hung up, and he stood for a moment looking at the receiver; there was a smear of shaving soap on the earpiece.

  He was not sure that Perry Otway would be at the garage yet, so he killed ten minutes by going round to the Q & L for cigarettes. The morning was frosty and the air seemed draped with transparent sheets of muslin, and his footsteps rang as if the pavement were made of iron. In Baggot Street the old tinker woman in her tartan shawl was out already, waylaying passersby. Quirke gave her a sixpenny piece, and she moaned her thanks, calling down on him the blessings of God and His Holy Mother and all the Saints. The Q & L had just opened; the shopman was still putting away the shutters. He seemed in almost a fever of good cheer this morning. His eyes shone with a peculiar light, and his cheeks and chin were scraped to a polished gleam, as if he had shaved himself at least twice. The check pattern of his jacket looked even louder than usual, and he sported a Liberty tie with parrots on it. His mother, he confided, had died the previous night. He beamed as if from pride at the old woman’s achievement. “She was ninety-three,” he said, in a tone of malicious satisfaction.

  Perry Otway too had just opened for business. He was at the back of the workshop, where he had hung up his sheepskin coat and was pulling on his oil-caked overalls. “Brass-monkey weather, eh?” he said, blowing into his cupped hands. They walked together up the lane to the lock-up garage where the Alvis waited in the darkness like a great black cat in its cage. Quirke had little trouble getting the car into the garage, but he needed Perry to maneuver it out again, for he had not yet mastered the art of reversing in confined spaces and feared scraping the paintwork or putting a dent in one of the wings, for which, he vaguely feared, some severe penalty would be exacted. Perry treated the machine with a kind of solicitous delicacy and tenderness. He pulled out neatly into the street and stopped there, and left the engine running. “Nothing like it, is there,” he said, swinging himself out from behind the wheel, “the smell of petrol fumes on a cold winter morning.”

  Quirke was lighting a cigarette. He was in no hurry to get to the house on the canal, where he knew there could only be trouble waiting for him, though he did not know what it would be. The thought of April Latimer being there, at Isabel’s, filled him with a peculiar sense of panic. What would he say to her, what would they talk about? In these past weeks she had become for him almost a mythical figure, and now he was prey to what he could only think was an attack of crippling, monumental shyness.

  He drove around the Pepper Canister and turned right on the canal. As he was passing by the house on Herbert Place he slowed down and peered up at the windows of April’s flat. In one of them a curtain rod had come away on one side, and the lace curtain hung down at a crooked angle. He drove on, staying in third gear.

  Outside Isabel’s little house there were floatings of ice on the canal again, and water hens were fussing and splashing among the reeds. The morning had a raw edge. He was lifting his hand to the knocker when the door opened. Isabel was already dressed. She wore a dark skirt and a dark-blue cardigan. Her bronze-colored hair was tied back with a dark ribbon. She did not smile, only stood aside and gestured for him to come in.

  He thought of that curtain in the window, hanging at a crazy angle on its broken rod.

  The house had a stuffy, morning smell of bedclothes and bath soap and milky tea and bread that had been toasted under a gas flame. He paused, and Isabel went ahead, leading him along the short hall, through the living room, and into the kitchen. How slim she was, how slim and intense.

  The first person he saw was Phoebe, standing by the stove in her overcoat. He realized he was holding his breath and seemed unable to release it. When he came in she, too, did not smile, and gave no greeting. A young man was sitting at the table. He was black, with a large, smooth-browed head and a flattened nose and eyes that swiveled like the eyes of a nervous horse, their whites flashing. He was wearing a loose jumper and no shirt, and a pair of baggy corduroy trousers; he looked cold and exhausted, sitting there with his shoulders drooping and his clasped hands pressed between his knees.

  “This is Patrick Ojukwu,” Isabel said.

  The young man regarded him warily. He did not stand up, and they did not shake hands. Quirke put his hat down on the table, where there were cups and smeared plates and a teapot under a woolen cozy. He looked from Isabel to Phoebe and back again. “Well?” he said. He was remembering the light that had been on in the window upstairs when he had brought Isabel back here last night, and of Isabel hurrying from the car and waving to him in that tense way before going inside.

  “Would you like something?” she asked now. “The tea is probably cold, but I could-”

  “No, nothing.” His eyes shied from hers. He could not make out what he was feeling, things were so jumbled up in him. Anger? Yes, anger, certainly, but something else, too, a hot thrill that seemed to be jealousy. He turned to Ojukwu- had he spent the night here? In a recess of his mind an image m
oved, of black skin on white. “Where’s April?” he asked.

  The young man looked quickly at Phoebe and then at Isabel.

  “He doesn’t know,” Isabel said.

  Quirke gave a curt sigh and pulled back one of the chairs at the table and sat down. So far Phoebe had said nothing. “Why are you here?” he asked her.

  “We’re all friends,” Phoebe said. “I told you.”

  “So where’s the other one, then, the reporter?”

  She said nothing and looked away.

  “We’re all tired, Quirke,” Isabel said. “We’ve been up half the night, talking.”

  Quirke was growing hot inside his overcoat, but for some reason he did not want to take it off. Isabel had gone to stand beside Phoebe, as if in solidarity. He turned back to Ojukwu. “So,” he said. “Tell me.”

  The black man, still with his hands pressed between his knees, began to rock back and forth on the chair, staring at the floor in front of him with those huge eyes. He cleared his throat. “April telephoned me that day,” he said. “I was in college; they called me down to the reception place. She said she was in trouble, that she needed my help. I went to the flat. She did not come to the door, but I let myself in with the key. She was in the bedroom.”

  He stopped. Quirke, on the other side of the table, watched him. There were marks of some kind in the skin over his cheekbones, small incisions the shape of slender arrowheads, made a long time ago- tribal markings, he supposed, made at birth with a knife. His close-cropped hair was a mass of tightly wound curls, like so many tiny, metal springs or metal shavings. “Were you and April- were you her lover?”

  Ojukwu shook his head, still with his eyes fixed on the floor. “No,” he said, and Quirke saw the faint, brief start that Phoebe gave. “No,” Ojukwu said again, “not really.”

  “What was she doing, in the bedroom?”

  The silence in the room seemed to contract. The two women were fixed on Ojukwu, waiting for what would come next; they had heard it before and now would have to hear it again.

  “She was in a bad state,” he said. “I thought at first she was unconscious. There was blood.”

  “What kind of blood?” Quirke asked. As if he did not know already.

  Ojukwu turned slowly and looked up at him. “She had… she had done something to herself. I did not know, I had not known, that she was”- he gave himself a shake, as he would shake someone in anger, accusingly-”that she was expecting a child.”

  Isabel stirred suddenly. She snatched a cup from the table and brought it to the sink and rinsed it quickly and filled it with water and drank, her head back and her throat pulsing.

  “She had aborted the child, yes?” Quirke said. He was furious, furious, he did not know at what, exactly, this fellow, yes, but other things too indistinct for him to identify. “Tell me,” he said, “had she aborted it?”

  Ojukwu nodded, his shoulders sagging. “Yes,” he said.

  “Not you- she did it herself.”

  “I told you, yes.”

  Don’t snarl like that at me, Quirke wanted to say. “And now she was bleeding.”

  “Yes. It was bad; she had lost a lot of blood. I did not know what to do; I- I could not help her.” He frowned suddenly, remembering. “She laughed. It was so strange. I had helped her up and she was sitting on the side of the bed, the blood still coming out of her and her face so white- so white!- and still she laughed. Oh, Patrick, she said, you were my second-best chance!” He looked up at Quirke again, with a frown of bewilderment. “Why was that funny? My second-best chance. I did not know what she meant.” He shook his head. “She was such a strange person, I never understood her. And now I was afraid she would die, and I could not think what to do.”

  There was a pause then, and the room seemed to relax with an almost audible creak, as if a wheel tensed on a spring had been released a notch. Quirke leaned back on the chair and lit a cigarette, and Isabel, having drunk another cup of water, filled the coffee percolator and set it on the stove. Phoebe came forward to the table and pointed to the packet of Senior Service that Quirke had put there, and asked if she could have one. When she had taken the cigarette and he had held up the lighter for her, she walked to the window and stood looking out, with her back to the room, smoking. Only Ojukwu remained as he had been, crouched and tense as if he were nursing an internal ache.

  “If you weren’t lovers, you and April,” Quirke asked, “then what were you?”

  “We were friends.”

  Quirke sighed. “Then you must have been very intimate friends.”

  Isabel came and set down a coffee cup and saucer in front of Quirke and brusquely said: “He’s lying- they were lovers. She took him away from me.” She did not look at Ojukwu but went back to the stove and stood, like Phoebe, with her back turned. Quirke could see her fury in the set of her shoulders.

  “Tell me the rest,” he said to Ojukwu. “What happened?”

  “When she saw I could not help her, that I did not have the training, she asked me to call someone- someone else.”

  “Who?” The young man shook his head, leaning more deeply forward on the chair and swaying slowly again, this time from side to side. “Who was it?” Quirke asked again, in a louder, harsher voice. “Who did she want you to call?”

  “I cannot say. She made me swear.”

  Quirke had a sudden, strong urge to hit him; he even saw himself stand up and stride around the table and lift high a fist and bring it down smash on the fellow’s invitingly bowed neck. “She aborted your child,” he said. “She was hemorrhaging. She was probably dying. And she made you swear?”

  Ojukwu was shaking his head again, still huddled around himself as if that ache in his guts were steadily worsening. Phoebe turned from the window and, tossing the unsmoked half of her cigarette behind her into the sink, came forward and put a hand on the young man’s shoulder. She looked coldly at Quirke. “Can’t you leave him alone?” she said.

  And then, all at once, Quirke saw it. How simple and obvious. Why had it taken him so long? “Not Ronnie,” he said, in a sort of wonderment, talking to himself. “Not a name- a mustache.” It was almost funny; he almost laughed.

  Obsessed: he remembered Sinclair saying it, standing beside the cadaver that day.

  Ojukwu stood up. He was not as tall as Quirke had expected, but his chest was broad and his arms were thick. The two men stood face-to-face, their eyes locked. Then Ojukwu took a small, almost balletic step backwards and passed his tongue over his large lips.

  “The baby was not mine,” he said.

  There was a silence, and then Quirke said, “How do you know?”

  Ojukwu looked away. “It could not be. I told you, we were not- we were not lovers.” With a quick, twisting movement he sat down on the chair again and laid out his fists in front of him on the table as if to measure something between them. “I loved her, yes, I think she loved me, too. But April- she could not love, not in that way. I am sorry, Patrick, she said to me, but I cannot.”

  “What did she mean?” Phoebe asked.

  Isabel too had turned now and was watching Ojukwu. Her eyes were dry, but the lids were inflamed.

  “I don’t know what she meant,” Ojukwu said. “She would lie down on the bed with me, and let me hold her, but that was all. I asked her if there was someone else, and she only laughed. She always laughed.” He looked up at Phoebe standing beside him. “But it was not really laughter, you know? It was more like- I don’t know. Something else, but not laughter.”

  Isabel strode forward, pushing Phoebe aside, and stood over Ojukwu, glaring down at him. “Is it true?” she demanded. “Tell me- is it true, that you and she-t hat you never-?”

  He did not raise his eyes but went on staring at his fists on the table and nodded. “It’s true.”

  There was silence again, and no one stirred. Then Isabel drew back her hand as if to strike the young man, but did not, and let her hand fall and turned away again.

  Quirke stood an
d took up his hat. “I have to go,” he said.

  Phoebe stared at him. “Where are you going?” He had already turned towards the door. “Wait!” She made her way hastily around the table, bumping against the chair that Quirke had been sitting in and almost knocking it over, and put her hand on his arm. “Wait,” she said again, “I’m coming with you.”

  He walked ahead of her along the hall to the front door. Two small boys had stopped to inspect the Alvis. “That’s some motorcar, Mister,” one of them said. “Was it dear?”

  Phoebe got in at the passenger side and slammed the door and sat staring through the windscreen. Quirke had started the engine when Isabel came quickly from the house. He opened the window on his side, and she leaned down to look at him, bracing both hands on the door. “Will I see you again?” she asked. “I need to know.”

  She stood back and Quirke got out of the car, and they walked together back to the doorway. He put a hand on her arm. “Go in,” he said, “it’s cold.”

  She drew her arm away from him. “Answer me,” she said, not looking at him. “Will I see you again?”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe. Yes, I think so. Now go in.”

  She did not speak, only nodded. In his mind he saw her standing in the bath, naked, the water flowing down over her stomach and her thighs. She went inside and shut the door behind her.

  22

  QUIRKE SAID HE WOULD BRING PHOEBE TO HADDINGTON ROAD, OR to Grafton Street, if she liked- did she not have to work today? She said she did not want to go home, and not to the shop, either. She asked him where he was going, and he said he had to see someone. “Let me stay with you,” she said. “I don’t want to be on my own.” They drove down to Leeson Street and turned left at the bridge, then right into Fitzwilliam Street. There was traffic now, the cars and buses going cautiously on the roads that were dusted still with frost. They did not speak. Quirke wanted her to tell him if she had known about Ojukwu and April, about Ojukwu and Isabel, and the unasked questions hung in the air between them. “I feel such a fool,” Phoebe said. “Such a fool.”