The Hard To Love series

by T A. McKay

  “Yeah, it feels great.” I bite my lip as I answer him, enjoying my private joke.

  “That’s good. I think tomorrow we can increase your sparring time. I know you were pissed when I said you couldn’t use that hand, but I swear there’s a reason to my madness. You’ll see soon enough.” He puts his head under the water to rinse the shampoo from his hair and bubbles run down his chest. I swear to God I try not to let my eyes follow them, but fail miserably. My mind drifts back to when he told me I wasn’t allowed to use my hand, I thought he was insane. I would’ve told him exactly that, but I was intrigued with the blush that had covered his cheeks when he had talked about tying my hands behind my back. When those words came out his mouth, visions had flashed through my head of Bryce tying me down, and when I raised my eyebrow at Bryce it almost looked like he’d had similar thoughts.

  “Yeah, I have to admit I thought you might have lost your mind a little there, but if I'm honest, I don’t think my hand could have done much.”

  He laughs at my comment, and I can’t help but stare at his lips, wondering if they are as soft as they look. I grab my body wash from the shelf in the shower and pour a good amount into my hands before scrubbing my body. I’ve already washed, but I need a distraction from the direction my mind is going.

  “I swear I know what I'm doing, I’ve done this before. We need to condition your body without putting too much strain on your hand straight away. So if you can learn to not use it as your dominant hand, then it will get the rest it needs. A few weeks of that and I promise you will be back to fighting like normal. You did well though, I didn’t have to tie you up at all.” The same flush as before covers his face and I can’t help but wish I could hear what was going through his head. There’s something about those words that cause a reaction from him, and I want to know what it is. He turns away from me and I let my eyes drift, taking in the dips and grooves of his toned back. Shit. I will not stare at his body again, and I certainly won’t get hard while I do it. I turn the water temperature down, trying to get control over my raging hormones. I haven’t felt like this since I was a teenager, and that never really went well. Deciding I need to get laid tonight, I come up with a plan. I don’t know if it’s a good plan but I run with it, maybe the distraction will help whatever is going on here.

  “So, what’re your plans for tonight?” I open one eye and look over to Bryce to make sure he knows I'm talking to him. He turns off the water and grabs a towel from the hook before wrapping it around his waist. I follow his lead, wrapping my own towel around me before walking over to my locker.

  “I was planning on going home and making a work out plan for you. Now I’ve seen you I can plan better.” Is he kidding me? After six hours in the gym he’s going to go home to work some more. I’m a great believer in hard work, you don’t get to the level I’m at without having dedication and working more hours than the average person, but everyone needs some down time.

  “You’re going home to work? Seriously, you don’t have a hot woman you can hook up with for the night? You deserve a reward, you did a good job today.” I can’t help the laughter in my voice as I speak. He looks over to me and gives me the finger which makes me laugh harder. At least he knows I'm trying to fuck with him, I promised Coach I would give him a chance so that’s what I'm doing. Actually if I'm truthful, Bryce seems like a good guy. I had an instant dislike for him but that was purely because of my experience with Ethan. He’d been an idiot and that has made me wary about anyone else. Bryce is completely different though. He seems to know what he's talking about, the stuff he had me doing earlier worked my muscles with the minimum of effort and it’s like I can already feel myself getting stronger. He's not trying to keep me from training, he's adapting it to get me back into the cage quicker.

  “I know it’s hard to believe, but I don’t have anyone here to occupy me. I’ve only been here for a few weeks. You’re the first person I’ve really spoken to other than Eddie. Lucky me, eh?”

  I laugh at his joke, happy that we are chatting like this, but take note of his words. I never really thought about him not knowing anyone, I never thought to ask how long he's been here. When I left home I spent so much time on my own, just sitting watching people walking past me on the street, not seeing me as they talked to friends and family. I spent most of my time wishing I had someone to talk to, to share my time with. I hate it when I think someone else is lonely, especially when it’s someone who seems as nice as Bryce.

  “What, Mr. Perfect Coach doesn’t have people falling at his feet to be friends?” I turn from my locker just in time to see his towel fall to the floor as he pulls his boxer shorts up. I turn away, but not before I look down and see his naked ass. His fucking perfectly round, naked ass. I feel my dick twitch against my towel and I quickly grab my clothes. The sooner I'm dressed, the sooner I can get out of here. Being around him like this is doing something weird to my body, something I don’t want to explore.

  “Fuck you, Zeke. Just because the world wants to kiss your arse, doesn’t mean that we all have them bowing at our feet.” His words would come off harsh if he didn’t have a smirk on his face.

  “Yeah, it’s just like that. Anyway, tonight I'm taking you out and introducing you to some people. You can’t spend your whole life working. If you don’t have some fun you’ll become boring and I refuse to have a boring coach.”

  He stops buttoning his shirt and turns towards me, giving me his full attention. Standing there in tight blue jeans and a white button down, I swear I’ve never seen a guy look sexier. No, not sexier. More attractive, yeah that’s the words I should have used. I shake my head, confused about the way my mind is fucking with me. I need to get laid tonight … or drunk … or both.

  “So, I'm your coach?” He raises his eyebrows at me and I smile, realizing that I’ve resigned myself to the fact that he’s here to stay.

  “Yes, for now. Let’s not make a big deal out of it, don’t want you getting a big head. So hurry up and get dressed.” I grab my own black shirt and button it up before tucking it into my trousers. I’d planned to go out tonight so I wore some good clothes to training today, and now I'm glad I did. I never invited Ethan out with us, it would have been my worst nightmare. I didn’t want to spend time with him inside the gym, so outside it was a no go, but I'm glad I asked Bryce. If we can get along it would make life a lot easier, and he does seem like a good guy. So I’ll take him out and show him how we like to unwind. I need to show Bryce how much trouble I can get him into, best to start as I mean to go on.

  I grab my glass of bourbon and take a large drink. We’ve been at the club for about an hour now and I'm trying to pace myself. I don’t want to train with a hangover tomorrow, not on my second day back to it. I look over the table towards Bryce. He’s been attracting a lot of female attention but he looks uncomfortable with it and just smiles at them before taking another drink of his water. I had tried to get him to drink something alcoholic, I mean who comes to a club and drinks water? But he refused point blank. I wonder now if he wished he hadn’t accepted my invitation to come out.

  I feel a pair of lips brush over my neck and a hand groping my thigh, but I don’t turn around. I'm used to this sort of attention when I go out, I can get any girl I want in this place and they all scramble to get my attention. I don’t know who’s attached to the lips or hands, but I honestly don’t care. I'm not paying attention to the women in here tonight because my interest lies squarely on the guy sitting opposite me. The hand on my thigh moves higher and I reach down to stop it in its tracks.

  “Oh, baby. I could make you feel so good, I know you want that.” Normally having some girl talking to me like this would have my dick hard and have me craving the orgasm that had been promised to me but tonight I’m more interested in getting to know Bryce better. I stand and move past the legs of the people sitting next to me and make my way around the table to sit on the bench next to the woman who’s struggling to get the button on Bryce’s jeans open. He's
trying to be polite and not make a big deal out of the unwanted attention, but I can see the panic in his eyes as he holds onto her wrists. I tap her on the shoulder and she instantly turns towards me, a small squeal leaving her as she sees who I am. Her arms wrap around my neck and all thought of Bryce leaves her. Unwrapping her arms from me, I lean over and talk in her ear, thankful that the booth we have is in a quieter area of the club and she can hear me clearly.

  “You need to back off now. You’re not wanted here, by me or the other guy.” I have no idea what makes me say it, but Bryce’s discomfort is pissing me off. I want him to have a good night, to be relaxed and make friends. The last thing he needs is some drunk woman pawning all over him. I turn and motion for Axl to come over. He smiles as he approaches, his eyes never leaving the girl in front of me.

  I lean in again to talk to the girl, pointing towards Axl. “Now this guy here, he's the one for you. I’ve heard the girls talking about him and his magic cock. Not sure what it does, and I don’t want to know, but I hear it makes them go cross-eyed.”

  I have to hold in the laugh that is dying to break free at the look on the girl’s face. She doesn’t even speak as she stands and grabs Axl behind the head, pulling him down towards her so she can attack his mouth. He accepts the kiss willingly and pulls her towards the dark corner of the booth. Then he holds out a closed fist to me and I bump mine against his. I let the laugh come out this time as I watch him practically dragging her to the darkness.

  I turn and see that Bryce also has a smile on his face as he looks at me. “Thanks. She was a little … forward? Are all American women like that?”

  I want to tell him that they’re not, but truthfully I haven’t actually met any who aren’t. Maybe I just attract the confident types, the ones who know what they want and are willing to go for it. I don’t really meet the shy, quiet ones, the ones you can take home to Mom.

  “Kinda. What kind of woman do you go for? We could try and get you a little company for the night.”

  I watch as he takes a long drink, his cheeks flushing with color as he does so. I wouldn’t have taken him as the quiet type, but one mention of a woman and he gets all shy. I decide to give him a break and try to find a subject that won’t have him feeling awkward.

  “Forget it, the only women you get in here are pushy. So tell me a bit about yourself, tell me all about Bryce,” I ask as I lean against the wall behind me and I watch as he visibly relaxes.

  This is obviously something he's willing to talk about. “There’s not much to tell really.” I’ve always noticed that the people who say the have nothing to tell usually have the best stories, so I refuse to let him off the hook so easily. I wasn’t as lucky as him, I didn’t get a file with his life story like he got for me. I’m going to use tonight as my opportunity to find out about him.

  “Yeah, I'm sure you’re really boring, but what brings you over from England?”

  He doesn’t speak and simply points towards me. I point to myself, my eyes widening in shock. “Me?”

  He leans forward to put his glass on the table and I can’t help but watch his muscles as his sleeve slides up his forearm.

  “Yeah, you. I heard there was this shit hot fighter that couldn’t keep a coach because he had a habit of punching them. Seemed like the perfect challenge. I’ve never been one to go with the sure thing.”

  I’m shocked by the laughter that bursts from me. I don’t think anyone has ever spoken to me like this, like they aren’t impressed by who I am. Maybe it’s because he only just got here or maybe because he genuinely doesn’t give a shit.

  “You don’t sound worried that I might take a swing at you. Maybe it’s a thing I do with all my coaches?”

  It’s his turn to laugh now as he obviously finds my statement funny. I don’t know if I should be insulted or not by his reaction.

  “Trust me, Zeke. I'm not worried, I'm pretty sure I can handle anything you can throw at me.” His expression is intense as he stares at me and I know I should look away but I can’t. I swear I feel like I can see everything he's feeling as he sits there, and his dark eyes look heated with passion.

  The moment is broken when a girl sits on my lap and kisses my cheek. This time I let the distraction pull me away from Bryce’s enticing eyes. I allow the girl to move her lips to mine, opening up and taking what I want. I try to convince myself that the ass that’s sitting on top of my dick, and the tongue in my mouth is why I’m hard, but if I'm honest, I know that’s not the reason.

  I lean forward and grab my glass of water from the table. I don’t really need a drink but I'm looking for a distraction from what’s happening beside me. One minute I’m staring into Zeke’s eyes and the next he has his tongue down some woman’s throat. I look around awkwardly as I try to pretend that the woman isn’t moaning into his mouth as he does only god knows what.

  We’d been getting to know each other and it was nice having someone to chat with for a change. That’s the only reason I agreed to go out tonight, I’m sick of going home to an empty apartment with only myself for company. When Zeke had invited me out I’d initially decided I was going to decline his offer. I mean how can I tell him to rest and eat well when I'm out with him partying on the first night? Thankfully, he hadn’t taken no for an answer and made me come out. I had felt awkward to begin with, especially when that girl had decided that she wanted to go home with me. I didn’t know how to get her off me without making a scene, and I definitely wasn’t about to give in to her demands. I had absolutely no interest in her and I didn’t know what to say to her. I don’t want to shout about my sexuality from the rooftops, but I'm not willing to lie about who I am either.

  Thankfully Zeke had come to my rescue and I thought we were getting along and getting to know each other but then I had to go and say something stupid. Why did I have to say that I could handle him? That statement had caused a hundred different images to race through my mind, making it impossible for me to look away from him. He looked like he was feeling the same thing as me and he couldn’t take his eyes off me, but that changed the second he had female company.

  I reach down and adjust the hard on that’s pressing against my jeans, trying to hide the fact that I'm turned on. I just can’t help it when I'm near Zeke. He seems to have this affect on me that I have no control over. I look over to the couple that are still making out and I see Zeke’s hand disappear under the hem of her dress. That’s enough to get me moving. I refuse to sit here and watch as he finger fucks this woman. I grab my mobile and write out a text, sending it to the number that Eddie gave me earlier for Zeke. Once it sends, I stand, put on my jacket and leave the nightclub.

  I walk into my small one bedroom studio apartment and throw my jacket over the back of the sofa. I'm so fucking tired tonight. I haven’t slept well since I got here, the constant noise isn’t something I'm used to. I grew up in the countryside where the only noise was the sound of crickets and the occasional bird. The constant traffic outside my window now keeps me up most of the night. It just never stops. I'm hoping that tonight I will get a decent sleep since my body is tired after training with Zeke. It’s the first proper work out I’ve had in a long time and I can feel it deep in my muscles.

  I shut off all the lights as I walk to my room and close the door behind me. I get undressed before walking into my bathroom to get washed up for bed. Before I brush my teeth, I grab my supplements and swallow them down with a glass of water. I look over my body as I brush and notice my muscle tone isn’t as defined as it was a few months ago. I’ve been doing lots of cardio in the build up to training Zeke, but I can see the effects that not using weights is having on my body. I need to get back into training properly, hopefully working with Zeke will get me back to my previous condition. Fighting at home always kept me fit and toned, but since I gave that up I’ve needed to work harder to keep my body the way I want. Eddie said that I had free access to the gym while I worked there, so I'm going to make good use of it. If I keep Zeke training six h
ours everyday and then work out for two, I will have my body back into shape in no time. I know there are probably a lot of guys who would look at my body and think I was insane for wanting to work out harder, but I'm surrounded by some of the best fighters in the country all day long. There’s no way I will stand next to them with a soft body, it would be too embarrassing.

  I rinse my toothbrush and put in on the side before turning off the light and climbing into bed. I pull the single sheet up my body, leaving it sitting around my waist. I'm still trying to get acclimatized to the heat here, it’s so much warmer than England. I stare at the ceiling praying for sleep to come but all I can think about is Zeke. I’ve trained a few fighters, and been surrounded by more than that in the gyms, but I’ve never felt drawn to any of them like I am to Zeke. From the minute I walked into the gym this morning I’ve felt like I couldn’t take my eyes off him. With his sexy as sin body, a body I want to run my tongue over. Even when he was chasing the pads I had been distracted by the way his muscles tensed as he got ready to punch or kick. The sweat dripping down his body had made me want to lick it off, to taste him as my tongue traced the outline of his muscles. Fuck. This can’t be happening, it shouldn’t be happening. I can’t have feelings for my boss, especially when he's straight. It’s like gay lesson number one. Don’t have feelings for the straight guy, but I think I already do.

  Chapter 5

  I groan as I reach my hand out and slap at my alarm until I hit the right button to turn it off. I bury my head in the pillow and will the world to stop turning for a few hours so I can try and sleep this hangover away.

  I had no intention of getting drunk last night, training with a headache today wasn’t something I wanted, but when I’d watched Bryce leave while I was kissing that girl, I had needed the alcohol to stop me from going after him. I’d started kissing her to distract myself from the intensity between Bryce and me. I don’t know how or why it happened but it was there. She’d been the perfect distraction, even though I know it had been rude as fuck to Bryce. I had watched him out of the corner of my eye as I’d kissed her. He’d looked embarrassed and it had made me feel like shit, but not enough to stop what I was doing. In fact I had taken it further by slipping my hand up her dress until she moaned into my mouth. I’d closed my eyes for what felt like one second and when I opened them again, he was gone. I’d pulled apart from the girl and had gone after him, leaving her sitting completely alone without explanation, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. After that, I returned to the table and drank myself into a happier place. I don’t know why him leaving had pissed me off so much, it’s not like I had done anything that would make him want to stay.