The Hard To Love series

by T A. McKay

  “Zeke, please. You need to move.”

  I can hear him panting behind me as his fingers dig into my hips. “Don’t move. I swear if you do then we’re both gonna be really disappointed.” Even through his pleading words my body clenches around him. I don’t meant to do it but I can feel his control slip and his fingers dig deeper. I'm sure that I’ll be sporting bruises in the morning, but I can’t seem to find it in myself to care.

  “Fuck it, Bryce. Please don’t. I've never felt anything as tight as you and it’s taking everything I have not to come right now.”

  I relax around him, letting him take control and move when he's ready. I lie there, trying not to give in to the urge I have to rock back onto his body, making him move inside me until I come. After what feels like a year, he starts to leave my body and I hold my breath, releasing it when he pushes back inside.

  He builds a rhythm, increasing the pace and strength with each thrust. I can hear him behind me muttering to himself and I wish I could hear what he's saying but my brain is a mushy mess of arousal. I can only think about the feelings he’s causing inside me, the feeling of his fingers digging deep into my muscles, and how I need to try and calm down. Zeke puts his hands on my shoulders, pulling me backwards until my back is flush with his chest. He wraps his arm around me and grabs my dick. The combination of him thrusting into my arse and his hands stroking me is too much. I can barely breathe and I think I might pass out before I can come.

  “You need to hurry, baby. I'm barely holding on and I want you to come with me.” A tingle rushes down my spine and my balls pull up into my body.

  Zeke groans behind me as my body starts to tighten, putting more pressure on his dick. “Bryce, fuck. God, oh god.” His breath on my neck is what finally sends me over the edge and I come hard in his hand. I feel him tense before his dick pulsates inside me. I smile knowing that he’s just experienced having sex with a man for the first time, and I got to be the one he did it with. His arms tighten around me and I feel worn out but content. I just pray that he doesn’t run, I don’t think my heart could take it.

  I'm holding onto Bryce’s body tightly as I try to breathe. I feel like I’ve just had the first orgasm of my life. It might not have been my first but everything before this pales in comparison. I slip out of Bryce’s body, pull off the condom and walk to the bathroom.

  After cleaning up I go back to the bedroom and climb into bed. I lie for a few moments before pulling Bryce to my side. He didn’t look like he was going to move to me and there’s no way I'm not holding him after what we just did. If I didn’t realize it before I certainly know it now, I like Bryce, actually it’s more than just like. What I just did to him, with him, just cemented the fact that I'm happy with Bryce, with what we’re doing together. I never thought I would be happy with a guy but now I think that maybe this is who I was meant to be with all along.

  I was nervous before entering him, it was new territory for me and it felt like losing my virginity all over again. I was so scared I would hurt him, push too hard and cause some damage, so I took my time with him. I couldn’t concentrate on anything except my cock and how it felt as I pushed into his tight ass. I wasn’t even sure I would get all the way in before I exploded. I think I lasted quite well all things considered. I think nerves helped me hold out, allowed me to try and make it good for him, when everything was pushing me closer to release. I mean the guy is gorgeous and tight. What a dangerous combination.

  I rest my nose to the top of Bryce’s head and inhale his scent. Add that to the list of things I like about the man in my arms. He always smells so fucking good, even after a workout. I honestly want to bottle his smell and keep it. I laugh out loud as I realize how fucking creepy I sound right now. I'm one step away from giving him lotion and telling him to rub it into his body.

  “What’s so funny?” I feel his lips move against my chest as he speaks and it sends goose bumps all over. I'm still laughing when I answer him, not able to resist repeating the line from the movie.

  “Nothing really, I was just thinking about saying ‘it puts the lotion on its skin.”

  Bryce lifts his head up, resting his chin on his hands. He raises his eyebrows at me and a little smirk appears on his face. “You planning on skinning me so you can wear me? I know I'm hot but come on, you’re not that bad looking.”

  I can’t resist kissing him. I love the fact he knows what I'm talking about, that he gets the connection between my comment and ‘Silence of The Lambs’. This right here is everything that I want: someone that gets my jokes, who can do the things to my body that I crave, and more importantly, someone I can be myself with.

  I pull him closer to me, feeling his body snuggle against mine as we get ready to sleep.

  “Well this not that bad guy wants to sleep, and he wants to do it with a sexy guy in his arms.”

  I feel Bryce getting comfortable against me, his hand resting against my stomach and his head on my shoulder. “Thank you for tonight, Zeke.”

  I kiss his head and close my eyes. “It should be me saying thanks, baby. It was fucking perfect.”

  Chapter 12

  I can’t keep my eyes off Zeke as he sits across from me in the café we decided to go to for breakfast. We haven’t really spoken this morning, content to just be in each other’s company. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep so quickly last night but being in Zeke’s arms had felt so good that I couldn’t help it. I had wanted to talk to him about how he felt after what we did and whether he was comfortable with it, but then he pulled me into his arms and sleep stole me.

  When I woke from the nap we took this morning, I was determined to talk to him, to make sure he hadn’t panicked about taking our relationship to another level. I needed to make sure he felt comfortable. I don’t really want to label what we have together, but we spend all our time together and we have sex, so yes, to me this is a relationship. I know about his past, about how he lost his virginity and I'm scared of making him feel pressured. I would hate for our first time together to be because he felt forced, so I need to check that he wanted it as much as I did. The plan had changed quickly when I woke up with a mouth around my dick, making it officially the best wake up call ever. I thought there was no way to make the morning better, but I was wrong, so very, very wrong. When he kissed his way up my body to my ear, he whispered that he couldn’t wait for me to take him and that he was nearly ready for it. With my eyes crossed and my fingers digging into his skin, I felt like the luckiest person in the world.

  “How are you feeling?” This is probably the tenth time I've asked him this, but I need to keep checking. I have this need to make sure he isn’t regretting anything, so I might be going slightly overboard.

  “Again, I'm fine. I will tell you if I’m not. Will you stop stressing over it? We’re good, I’m good.” He winks at me and I smile. I love the way he’s trying to make me feel better when he's the one who pretty much lost his virginity all over again. I know he's slept with a lot of women, but last night I popped his gay cherry. This thought makes me laugh, and it’s one of those laughs that the more you try to control it the worse it gets. He puts his fork down and stares at me blankly which causes me to laugh harder. I try to take deep breaths and close my eyes to block him out so I calm down.

  I manage to get it under control when Zeke speaks and I nearly lose it again. “Now I need to know what’s so funny. What’s just gone through that sexy little head of yours?”

  I take a few more deep breaths, trying to control the laughter. “I was just thinking. Not many men can say they lost their virginity at twenty eight.” It’s not until the words are out my mouth that I realize that I’m talking really loudly. The waitress serving the next table turns to look at us, a shocked look on her face as her eyes rake over Zeke’s body. I don’t think I've ever seen Zeke blush so this moment will go down in history.

  He leans in close, making sure that I will be able to hear him as he whispers across to me. “I didn’t lose my virginity, wel
l not fully. I will class myself as a virgin until you push that hard cock into my ass.”

  My mouth drops open at his words, and it’s my turn to turn bright red. I can’t believe he just said that in the middle of a café. Thankfully he kept his voice down.

  I'm saved from the conversation when my phone rings in my pocket. It’s unusual for someone to call me so early, but I see Eddie’s name and I answer straight away. I’ve been waiting on some news from him and I'm hoping it’s good.

  “Hey, Eddie. How’s things?”

  Zeke goes back to eating his breakfast but his eyes never leave mine. I can see him trying to work out why Eddie’s calling but I’ve kept this from him until I knew for sure.

  “He’s in.”

  And just like that he hangs up the phone. One thing I know for sure is that no one could ever accuse Eddie of wasting time with small talk. I throw my phone on the table and pick up my fork, ignoring Zeke’s stare as I focus on my plate.

  “You're just doing that to piss me off.”

  I nod, still not taking my eyes off my plate. “Yuuuuuup.” I feel something hit my head and a slice of toast lands on my plate. I look up with surprise on my face. “Did you just throw a bit of toast at me?” I can’t believe he did that, no actually I can, and I'm just happy it wasn’t his fork.

  “What did Eddie want?”

  I have two options here. Do I come out and tell him, or do I drag it out until it drives him insane? Well there’s no real question here, second option it is. “He was just letting me know that we need to change your training schedule.”

  I can see the muscle in his jaw twitch as he resists the urge to throw something else at me. “And why does my training schedule need to change?” His words are clipped, his frustration clearly showing.

  I decide to be kind and tell him before he does actually hurt me. “You have a fight.”

  Immediately he stills and his mouth drops open as he stares at me.

  “Say something, Zeke.”

  He sits there for a few more seconds before he manages to talk. “Are you fucking with me?” This is why I hadn’t mentioned the fight before I knew for sure. I didn’t want him to get his hopes up and then not be able to get a place. I cleared him to fight about a week ago and I've just been trying to find the right tournament for him. There’s one coming up in two weeks’ time, a big one that will get his name back out there, and Eddie used some of his connections to get him onto the fight sheet.

  “You have two weeks to get fight ready. The hard work begins now.”

  I can see his hands twitch on the table, like he wants to reach out and touch me but knows he can’t.

  “I could fucking kiss you right now. I want to reach across there and grab you so badly.” His eyes darken and he licks his lips, looking down to mine.

  And just like that my dick hardens to an almost unbearable level. I clear my throat before speaking, the arousal flooding through me making my voice sound husky. “As much as I would love that, we need to get to the gym. I'm not lying about only having two weeks to get you ready to fight.”

  Zeke puts his napkin on the table and stands, throwing some dollars on the table to cover the bill. “Well what are you waiting for? Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

  I follow him out the café, watching how excited he is. I wonder if he will be just as excited once I show him how much harder his training is about to get?

  My muscles are screaming in agony as I push myself to do another round of speed bag work. I'm pretty sure I won’t be able to put my clothes on once I'm finished but I make my arms work even harder. I thought the sessions Bryce had me doing before were hard but they were nothing compared to what he's putting me through today. I just want to get through this relatively unhurt and go home so I can relax until I need to do it all again tomorrow.

  “Concentrate, Zeke. You can go faster. Keep your elbows up.”

  He's lucky I like him because if I didn’t I would use the last of my energy to punch him square in the face. I know he's only doing his job, but I kind of hate him right now and I'm sure in the morning I will hate him even more.

  “Right, now drop and give me three sets of eight press ups.”

  I stop punching and let my arms fall to my side like lead. I can’t feel my arms and he wants me to hold my body up on them. Good fucking luck with that. “Fuck off, Bryce. That’s not happening anytime soon.” We’ve been working out for five hours straight, alternating between cardio and strength work, and I'm done. I have nothing left in my reserves to give. I need to eat and I need to rest.

  “Let’s call it a day then. I was going to call it a day about an hour ago but I thought I would see how far you would actually go. You did a lot more than I thought you would.”

  What the fuck? I stand staring at him, and he's lucky I have no energy to kill him just now. “Are you kidding me? You mean I've just about killed myself and I didn’t need to?” I would be angrier with him but he looks impressed with what I just did, how much of myself I gave.

  “I wanted you to push yourself and find that place inside you where you feel comfortable, and then push harder. And you did it. You kept going until you had nothing left to give. Now let’s get home and I’ll cook you dinner.” Listening to him, I realize that what he did was actually perfect. He gave me the control to see how far I could go. I pushed myself like a motherfucker and I needed to find that determination again so I can keep going, even after I think I'm done. I gave up in my fight with Dwayne, even though I thought at the time I was giving it my all. As soon as my hand went I lost my focus and I need to be able to maintain it, no matter what happens. I think this is why Coach hired Bryce. He’s just what I need, someone who won’t let me give up, who will force me to go longer, hit harder, push deeper. For the first time ever I'm actually really fucking happy with Coach’s decision to hire Bryce, and not just because I'm fucking him.

  “Zeke!”

  I groan as I hear Bryce shout down the hall to me. I'm lying on the couch, finally comfortable, and I don’t want to move. When we arrived at my house the only thing that got me moving was food. Bryce understood that my first day of hardcore training would be an uphill battle so he's been looking after me. I've had a protein shake and the meal he made, and now I pretty much just want to go to sleep. I close my eyes, praying he’ll forget that I'm here but I'm not that lucky. I feel him pulling on my arm, making me get up from the couch.

  “Babe, please. I just want to sleep. Look I don’t even have the energy to open my eyes. See? Eyes closed.”

  He doesn’t stop pulling me and I decide I do have the energy to open my eyes, especially if it stops me walking into a wall.

  “Come on, I have a surprise for you.”

  I follow behind him because fighting against him isn’t something I want or have the energy to do. “It better not be some kinky shit, unless I don’t have to be awake for it.”

  Bryce laughs and I can’t help my smile. His laugh is so damn sexy and it makes that little dimple on his cheek make an appearance.

  “What kind of kinky stuff can you do in your sleep, Zeke? Are you holding out on me, do I need to see these mad skills?”

  We stop just inside the bathroom and I look around in surprise. The lights are off and every surface is covered with candles. Soft music is playing and the bath is nearly overflowing with bubbles. I look at Bryce and see that he's looking awkward, as if he's not sure if he's done the right thing or not.

  I reach out and cup his face, pulling him towards me so I can claim his lips. “You did this for me?”

  He nods, his eyes softening as I speak.

  “Thank you. No one has ever done something like this for me before.”

  His hand reaches out, grabs the bottom of my t-shirt and pulls it over my head. “Have you ever let anyone?” He asks the question as he pulls my shorts down my legs.

  I didn’t even have the energy to take a shower at the gym, promising myself I would do it as soon as I got home but the couch call
ed out to me instead. I think about his question for a second. Have I let anyone get close to me before? I think the only one who knows a little about me is Asha, but she’s more of a friend with benefits than anything romantic. What he's done here is the most caring thing I've ever experienced.

  He doesn’t wait for an answer before removing his own clothes and climbing into the tub. He motions for me to join him and I follow him in, settling between his open legs. The hot water feels incredible against my skin and I can feel it loosening my tight muscles. I lean back, resting against Bryce’s chest as his arms wrap around me.

  We sit in silence for a while, just listening to the music playing softly. I didn’t think I could feel so content just being with someone, not even having to talk. It’s like we can just be together and relax knowing we are safe in each other’s arms.

  “Feeling better?” Bryce reaches over and grabs my body wash before pouring some into his hand. He adds a little water and lathers it up before he rubs into my shoulders. I groan as his hands knead the knots that have built in my muscles.

  “I’ll take that as a yes?”

  I just groan again, hoping he will take that as some form of answer. My muscles are starting to feel like putty and I'm not sure if I’ll be able to get out of the bath when he’s finished. “I hope you're not wanting to get lucky tonight, Bryce, I don’t think I could get a boner if I tried.” It’s a complete lie. Feeling his hands on me has me hard but he can’t see under the bubbles.

  His lips move to my ear, licking over the outside before speaking. “That’s a shame, but I'm sure I can go a night without jumping you.” His hands leave my body and warm water pours over my hair before fingers knead my scalp. I don’t think anyone has ever washed my hair before. I don’t even remember my mom doing it for me when I was a kid. Thinking about her makes me miss her a lot but not enough to go home and visit. Seeing her would mean seeing him, and I couldn’t cope with that.