The Hard To Love series

by T A. McKay

  Grey moves forward and kisses me again, his lips more incessant this time. There is more emotion in this kiss than the brief brush of his lips I had before. “I'm sorry. I love you and I trust you. I won’t mention the women again and I want you just the way you are.”

  I smile, relieved to hear that he wants me. Even though I said I would walk away, I'm doubt I could have. Being without Grey was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I don’t want to have to do it again. Not that I will give him that piece of information. Best to keep him on his toes, unless I can keep him on his back.

  “Do you still want me, Nathan?” And there he goes with another tilt of his hips. Fuck, that feels so good.

  “Yes.” The answer comes out breathy. I try to sound strong and unaffected, but he’s playing me and the cheeky fucker knows it.

  “Do you love me?”

  Little fucking tease rubs against me and I grip onto his hips. In my head I do it to stop him from moving but instead I pull him tighter to me. “Yes.”

  He leans in and puts his lips to my ear, his tongue teasing the edge of it, leaving a wet trail on the skin. “Show me how much.”

  I growl. A real fucking growl that shocks me but it doesn’t stop me from moving. I push forward with my chest and Grey yells as I push him off my body. I wrap my arm around his waist and stop his fall just before he hits the mattress. My body covers his and Grey opens his legs and I sink in between them, rubbing all my favorite parts together. “I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. It’s a funny thing; I have spent my life running away from relationships, telling anyone that would listen that I don’t do feelings. Now I want the world to know how much I love you.”

  “Then hurry up and show me how much. I want you Nathan, tonight and forever.”

  “Anything you want, baby. But you better hold on tight.”

  Grey’s laughter morphing into a moan as I attack his neck is the sexiest thing I've ever heard, and knowing that I'm going to spend the rest of my life hearing it makes me realize something very important. This is everything. This is what I think I've been looking for my entire life, that one special person who gets me, the one who makes everything make sense. Grey is my life and nothing will change that. I've spent so long trying to convince myself that this isn’t me, but now I know that I was only fooling myself. It’s very much me, and I don’t care who knows it.

  Epilogue

  I look over to where Trey is standing and laugh at the nervous expression on his face. He is a little sweatier than normal and he looks like he's about throw up on the floor. “Seriously. Could you look any more like you don’t want to be here?”

  “Fuck off.” He pulls the collar away from his neck as if the thing is strangling him. I don’t know how a man who wears a suit for a living can look so uncomfortable in one today.

  We are standing at the end of the aisle waiting for the guys to arrive. The whole room looks beautiful with white lilies surrounding the few seats that have been put out for friends and family. It’s simple and elegant, just like it should be.

  “Where are they?”

  I look back to Trey, and if possible he looks paler than before. I'm actually a little scared he’s going to faint. “Shit, man. You look like you’re going to pass out. What’s got you so fucking spooked?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it just makes things feel very real.”

  I laugh at him but before I get to question him more Roman walks across to join us, going straight to Trey and embracing him. “You look like shit, baby. It doesn’t fill me with confidence for our big day.”

  Trey doesn’t say anything as he leans down and kisses Roman. Standing watching the two men kissing feels awkward so with me being me, I need to say something. “Not that I don’t think you look hot, Roman. But you would have looked better in a dress.”

  I earn a laugh from Roman but a smack around the back of my head from Trey. “The hair, man, the hair.” I'm sorting out the mess when I see Grey approach. He looks fucking stunning in his suit with the black material making his dark hair look almost black, the only thing that breaks up the color is the still present purple streak. He’d wanted to get rid of it but I’d managed to convince him to keep it. It’s amazing what you can talk someone into when you deny them an orgasm.

  Seeing him look so fucking delicious and knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life looking at him still shocks me. The last month living with him has been the happiest I've ever been. As much as I took the piss out of Trey, I now understand the appeal of spending your life with one person. Grey has become everything to me, and when I'm in his arms I feel complete. He has become my safe place. He’s become home. “Hey, beautiful.”

  His smile almost dazzles me and I pull him into my arms. “Hey, sexy. What a great day for a wedding.” He leans in and kisses me gently.

  I love the easy smile that Grey has now. It feels like it isn’t hiding pain any more. He started therapy sessions after we got back together. We found a great doctor who is easy to talk to, and Grey felt at ease instantly. I think having someone to talk to about his past is letting him put some of his old guilt to rest. He never saw it, but he blamed himself for what happened to Billy. He felt that he should have been able to save his friend, even though he wasn’t more than a kid himself. Grey is happier now, and even after only a month I can see how much it’s helping him.

  “I was just telling Roman he would look better in a dress.” I joke before kissing him again. I just can’t keep my lips off him.

  “So that’s what happened to the hair. Trey?”

  “You know him and his temper.”

  The Justice of The Peace approaches our group and tells us that it’s time to get started. I look around the doorframe into the room again and see a few friends sitting in the rows of seats. In the front row I can see Dalton sitting with a very pregnant Jen. We met her for the first time a few nights ago when he arrived for the wedding. She’s a really nice girl and I think she will fit in well. They had an ultrasound of the baby, which is a girl, and I could see Trey’s heart melt the second he looked at the picture. That little girl, who they’re going to call Raven, is going to be spoilt rotten by all of her uncles. Next to Dalton is my mom. She looks so happy to finally be at a wedding and I smile at her when she waves at me, almost bouncing in her seat.

  Everyone important in my life is here, but the most important person is holding my hand. He's the one I thought I had lost forever, but he's here. He accepted me for everything I am and I did the same for him. I love everything that makes him Grey. Even his flaws are attractive. He can be distant at times when he lets his anxiety get the better of him, but I just hold him and let him break if he needs to. He's also messy and eats way too much junk food but it’s fun to cook for him. The messy thing is a work in progress, but I have faith that maybe one day he will pick up his own underwear. But that’s Grey and I will pick up after him and cook for him until the day I die, because he loves me and that the only thing I care about.

  I kiss him one more time and finally pull him through the door into the room, watching as he finally gets to see everything that we’ve done. Tears appear in his eyes and I know that I've done well. His grip on my hand tightens and I pull him into my side.

  “Come on, beautiful. I can’t wait any longer to marry you again.”

  He smiles at me and I know that everything will be okay, better than okay, they will be perfect. I'm marrying the man of my dreams again and this time we will both remember it.

  The End

  Acknowledgments

  Writing this book was like a roller coaster ride. There were highs that made me smile, but then lows broke my heart, and if you’re reading this then you know what bits I'm talking about.

  Writing the last book in a series always gives mixed emotions, and this book was no different. I loved telling Nathan and Grey’s story, but knowing I was going to have to say goodbye to these guys left me a little empty.

  Stuart ~ My hubby
. Even though I'm sure the late nights and the lack of contact with me is annoying, you make sure I keep chasing my dream. I love you!!

  Nicola ~ You pick me up when I'm feeling down, usually with a kick up the arse! I love you and I don't think I could do this without you…even with your diva princess ways!

  Claire ~ I don't have the words to tell you how much your friendship means. You are always there….even when I am about to lose the plot….and you pull me back from the edge!

  Ellie ~ Well this pretty much couldn’t have happened without you…I love you!

  My betas/proofreaders ~ Michele, Claire, Laura, Morningstar, Lisa, Chloe, Robyn, Lydia, and Amy. You read past the initial mistakes and embrace the stories. You make all this possible and your feedback is great!

  A special mention to everyone who puts my books out there for me. I see you mentioning my name every day and know that means so much to me. To all the blogs who take time out to share my stuff too…I know you do it without any return…so

  Thank you!

  About the Author

  For more information on T.a. McKay

  www.authortamckay.com

  tamckayauthor@gmail.com

  Also by T.a. McKay

  Leaving Marks series:

  Leaving His Mark ~ Out now

  Leaving Her Mark ~ Out now

  Hard To Love series:

  Worth The Fight ~ Out now

  Make Me Trust ~ Out now

  This Isn’t Me ~ Out now

  Standalone Novels:

  Undercover ~ Out now

  Someone To Hear Me ~ Out now