Sitting on my bed are my battered drawing pad and a selection of charcoal pencils. I try to hold onto my anger at Braden, but it slowly slips away. I don’t know when he put them there, but he knew exactly what I needed. A sound behind me spins me around. The sight of Braden standing in my doorway startles me.
If I force him out, he’ll just break in again. Weakness rears its ugly head as I battle between frustration and desire. I close my eyes and remember the feel of Milo arms wrapping around me, the heat of his body pressed against mine. It helps. I walk over to my bedroom door and close it. Braden’s image is gone, but the feel of him is so much harder to get rid of.
My steps seem heavy as I wander back to my bed and sink into its emotionally vacant acceptance. Gathering up my pencils, I ignore the late hour and let my jumbled-up thoughts and emotions flow out of me in a wash of grays until my eyes refuse to stay open.
Even then, my mind doesn’t turn off. I dream of them both. All night I see their faces, feel their skin, sense their own turbulent emotions. My heart searches for some clue. The last few months have pushed Milo away from me as we train for what we have to do. That only shows his dedication to our cause, but is he as dedicated to me? His anger and hatred fuel his desire to crush the Guardians. Is there something still fueling his desire to be with me? As things intensify, will I fall even more to the back of his mind? I can’t even seem to force Braden to take a break from thinking about me. Will that distract him from helping? Will he become the weak link in the chain of my destiny, the link I can’t depend on? And most importantly, does he really love me as much as he thinks he does? Is the connection between us the biggest factor in his devotion?
I scramble through dream after dream with no clear answers. When I’m with Milo, I feel as if he is the only one who could ever mean so much to me. But the closer I get to Braden, the harder it is to deny I am drifting toward him. I try to shut the dreams out. Not seeing either of them is too hard. I open my eyes to Braden’s soft half-smile. My heart stutters. The dream light coating him almost seems to make him glow. His pure contentment at being with me tips everything in his favor for this brief moment.
My hands reach up to cup his face. He leans in automatically and my heart and mind melt into liquid desire as his lips press against mine. Slipping his hand behind my neck, Braden pulls me closer. My own hand slips down to his chest. The feel of the raised flesh of his scars under his shirt stops me. I never dream of Braden with his scars. He’s always perfect in my dreams.
I yank myself away from him as I realize I’m not dreaming anymore.
Braden stares at me in surprise, whether for the kiss or for pulling away from him I don’t know. Probably both.
“I’m awake,” I whisper shakily.
Braden watches me without saying a word.
“I thought I was still dreaming.”
His confusion gives way to a delicious smile. “Dreaming of me?”
I groan and bury my face in my hands. “Any chance I can convince you to pretend that didn’t just happen?” I ask him.
“Not hardly.”
He laughs and I make myself look at him. My thoughts scatter in the face of his brilliant grin. It’s not fair that he’s so good looking. I actually have to force myself not to reach out and touch him so I can be sure he’s real. “What are you doing in here?” I finally demand.
“You forgot to set your alarm. Milo’s going to be here in twenty minutes,” he says.
“What? I’m not even going to have time to take a shower,” I complain. I scramble out from under my sheets and dash for my closet. Braden catches my hand and pulls me back to him. “Braden, I have to get ready. And you have to get out of here before Milo sees you!”
He doesn’t let go. Brushing his fingers across my cheek, he pulls them away and holds them up for me to see. The blackness coating his fingertips startles me. “You might want to wash your face before you leave the house. I think you fell asleep on some of your drawings. You’re covered in charcoal.”
I swipe my hand across my cheek and groan when it comes away black. “Thanks,” I mutter before pulling away from him. He chuckles again, but leaves me to get ready in peace.
I dart out from my room ten minutes later hoping he’s already left for the school. A sigh of relief stumbles out of my chest when I see that the house is empty. At least he has enough sense to get out of here before Milo shows up. Hurrying into the kitchen in search of something quick to eat, my eyes land on a plate of warm English muffins sitting on the table. They’re smothered in strawberry jelly, just the way I like them. I instantly wonder how Braden knew—before deciding I don’t really want to know. I grab the plate and almost don’t see the note stuck under it in my hurry to go find my backpack.
Knowing it isn’t going to be a reminder to get eggs or milk on my way home, I unfold the little paper and catch the simple braided bracelet that falls out of it. It’s just three white strands of thread braided together but I know exactly what it’s meant to be. The best part of going to the spirit world with Braden is getting to see the spirit link that connects us. I used to fear it, but lately the sight of it is comforting. I slip the bracelet onto my wrist regardless of what a bad idea it is and read his note.
“I’m not going to forget the kiss.
“Enjoy your breakfast. I’ll see you at school.
“And after school. And tonight at my place. I’ll see you every chance I can get.
“I love you.
“Braden”
It’s pure stupidity to keep the note. But I do it anyway. It was a huge mistake to kiss him this morning, but I tuck the note into my pocket, anyway. I’m about to sit down to my breakfast when the doorbell rings. I swallow my guilt along with the bite of muffin I just took and make for the door. The strangely optimistic feeling I carry out of the house with me is foreign to my bad-luck-life, but I find myself positively determined to hold onto it.
Chapter 3
0
Mistakes
Wednesday, undoubtedly the most important and frightening day of my life so far, starts off with a fight about whether or not I should drive myself to school. Not the way I wanted this day to begin. Brushing his teeth in the kitchen and looking completely indifferent to my irritation, Braden refuses to listen to me.
“Don’t you think it will look awfully strange if we show up at school together?” I ask for the tenth time. “I’m driving myself. You’re pulling me out at eight-thirty, anyway, so what does it matter?”
“It matters because since I’m pulling you out of class you’ll be expected to come with me. Principal Andrews thinks I’m taking you to the Guardian compound when I pull you out of class. She gave me strict instructions not to let you out of my sight. If she insists on watching me drive away with you like last time, you’ll have to leave your Bronco at school,” Braden says after rinsing his mouth and setting his toothbrush on the counter.
“Why couldn’t you just tell Andrews you were getting me before school and then I wouldn’t even have to go? Then we wouldn’t be having this discussion.”
“I did try,” Braden says patiently. “She wouldn’t agree to it, and you know that. She wants you checked in at school so she can claim you were safe and alive before I ran off with you.”
My mouth twists into a scowl. “It’s not like she actually cares about my safety. She just doesn’t want the liability.”
“You have to go to school,” Braden says, getting back to the original argument. “You are going to school with me, so when I go back to my house to meet Mr. Walters you will have a car here, not left at school. If anything goes wrong, I want to make sure you have a way to get out of here quickly.”
“You think Lance doesn’t know how to drive?”
“Lance is playing sick, remember? He’s going to have to sneak out, which means he can’t drive off in his car. Milo is picking him up and dropping him off here.” Braden leans against the counter and calmly folds his arms over his chest.
I forg
ot about Lance having to sneak out. I hate that Braden thinks he’s already won this fight. Just because his argument makes perfect sense doesn’t mean I’m going to give in. “How do you expect me to pull up to the school with you and not draw everyone’s attention?”
“I expect you to tap your Concealment and hide yourself from everyone, just like you’ve spent the past three days perfecting, thanks to Milo.” The smirk on his lips as he mentions Milo’s trip to Ohio doesn’t escape me. He feels my mixture of regret and pleasure at the memory of our trip to the Bosque, but Braden has no regret at all. He’s all too happy Milo left.
“Besides, it’s so chaotic in the parking lot right before the bell that no one will even notice you’re with me.” He steps away from the counter and picks my bag off one of the kitchen chairs. The way he hands it to me is a clear indication that we’re done arguing. But just in case I didn’t get the message, he says, “Now go get in the car.”
Making a run for my Bronco isn’t even an option. Braden had the foresight to grab my keys before I came out of my room, and he has them securely in his pocket. I snatch my bag away from him with a scowl. His no-nonsense manner cracks as he watches me storm toward the garage door. He’s being absolutely ridiculous, but the rolling amusement coming from him threatens to make me smile anyway. I slide into the way too comfortable seat of his car and lose my annoyance completely. I really love this car.
A few minutes later when we reach the school parking lot, I do exactly as Braden said, tap my Concealment and make it to the edge of the parking lot without anyone so much as looking in my direction. He’s probably gloating right now. I roll my eyes and follow the crowd into the building. I count down the minutes of class with my eyes on the door. Every tick of the clock makes it more and more impossible to sit still.
Tapping my Naturalism to calm my body down is the only thing that keeps me from jumping out of my desk. My phone vibrating under my hand does startle me quite a bit, though. I open the message from Casey and feel a small measure of relief. She’s in the nurse’s office faking a migraine. A second later, Braden knocks on the classroom door. My teachers are familiar enough with this exchange by now that my English teacher simply motions for me to leave without even pausing in her monologue.
I gather my bag quickly and rush out behind Braden. We barely say more than two words to each other as we walk out of the school. A million conflicting emotions fill the car when we get in. My emotions are bottled up tight, but I know Braden’s are as much of a mess as mine. Halfway home, my hands start shaking and I’m the one to reach for him. He takes my hand without comment and lends me some of his strength. We pull up to my house to find that Milo and Lance have already beaten us there. Braden’s disappointment is poignant.
“They just had to be early,” he complains.
“They’re as nervous as we are.” Lance especially. It really grates on him that he can’t go into the spirit world with me. He doesn’t like not knowing what’s going on. They both look over at me expectantly, but Braden’s sudden turning to face me blocks them from my view.
“If anything goes wrong …” he starts.
I shake my head immediately. “I’m not going to promise, Braden. Don’t even ask.” His whole body tightens. I know he wants to ask again, beg me until I relent. I won’t do it. Nothing he could ever say would make me change my mind. “Everything’s going to be fine. We’ll get the Ciphers out.”
“Please, be careful.”
How many times have I heard that through my life? A small smile settles on my lips. I’m about to tell him that I will when my vision blurs and I suddenly can’t move. Recognizing right away the sensation as the beginning of a vision, I clear my mind completely. I’ve been trying to get a glimpse of today for weeks to no avail, as usually happens with Vision. The quick flash of Braden lying unconscious on the floor shocks me. That’s all I get, but I memorize the details in an instant. My vision clears, and I am once again staring at a very conscious, very concerned, Braden.
“Libby?” he asks.
My eyes flash across his clothes. Dark blue shirt, black slacks, they aren’t the same. He was wearing the brown shirt I really like in the vision. “Are you going to change your clothes when you get home?” I demand. I won’t know what he’s wearing once we get to the spirit world since clothing is completely subjective there. What I wear while I’m there has nothing to do with what I actually have on.
Braden shrugs, more confused than ever. “Uh, I wasn’t planning on it. I’m supposed to be at the compound this afternoon to report on pulling you out of class. Why?”
It wasn’t a vision of today, then. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day when the Guardians figure out he helped me, but it won’t happen today. I sigh in relief. “Never mind. Forget I asked. Just … you be careful, too, all right?”
“I will,” he assures me, still not convinced that nothing is wrong.
My hand tightens around his as I try to reassure him silently. The outline of his Guardian blade under his shirt sleeve makes me falter. I could ask him. He would give me his Oath without a second thought. The words form on my lips.
Milo taps on the window, making me yank my hand away from Braden’s. He motions for me to hurry up. When I hold my finger up to tell him I’ll be another minute, he frowns, but backs away to say something to Lance.
“I’ll see you as soon as this is over, okay?” Braden says. I can only nod wordlessly. His first two fingers press against the inside of my left wrist, renewing his promise before pulling away. It’s harder than I expected to force myself out of his car. Watching him drive away fills me with a sense of dread I can’t fully explain. I’m seconds away from calling him and telling him to come back when Milo comes up behind me.
“Let’s get inside and get you two settled,” he says. I don’t resist when he tows me along behind him.
Once we’re in the house, I manage to shake off my worry and focus on what we’re about to do. I don’t have to turn the room into a freezer again as I did that first time, but this won’t be fast and I don’t want to take any risks. Lance and Milo help me pull two portable standing air conditioners into the living room. Milo suggests having some ice packs nearby in case Lance thinks I’m beginning to struggle at all. We go to the kitchen in search of ice and run into Lance. For some reason, one of his hands is behind his back. Milo doesn’t notice, but I quirk an eyebrow up in question.
Moving so Milo can’t see him, Lance flicks his hand from behind his back. The blue and green toothbrush he’s holding makes my eyes widen. Braden must have left it by the sink this morning. With a quick look, I thank him silently for grabbing it. Because of our link, as well as my promise not to lie to him about anything, Lance doesn’t need to ask what the toothbrush means. He knows everything about Braden’s being caught with me and his fear for my safety. He also knows that Braden has been staying here at night to keep an eye on me, and nothing more. That last part he would definitely have felt if anything more was going on between me and Braden. A brief thought makes me wonder if there’s any way to get around that, just for future reference.
Maybe my expression lets slip what my emotional blocks are hiding, but Lance looks at me more closely than I would wish. Does he know I’m falling for Braden? His fingers move to his Guardian blade in a silent question. He wants to know whether I’ve gotten Braden’s Oath yet. My concern from a few minutes ago redoubles. I bite the side of my lip, afraid that I should have a different answer than I do. It almost makes me tear up to have to shake my head no.
Our silent exchange ends when Lance moves in closer to me, and whispers, “He can still give you his Oath in the spirit world. I looked it up.”
Relief ripples through my mind. I may not need it, but I tuck that bit of information into the back of my mind just in case I do.
We finish up our preparations a few minutes later. Milo is reluctant to leave. The tight control he keeps on his emotions is much thinner than usual today. It doesn’t take any Perception, thou
gh, to know he’s worried about me, and about our grand plan failing. “Everything’s going to be fine,” I tell both him and myself.
“I know,” he says. He doesn’t look as if he has any intention of leaving until Dean calls to as where he is. Even still, Milo is slow to pull away. “I’ll see you in a few minutes, okay?”
I nod and hug him goodbye. At least I’ll see them both again in the spirit world.
Lance flopping on the couch calls my attention to him. I scowl at him for rough treatment of the furniture. This isn’t my house. He ignores me, big surprise, and says, “You realize, of course, that Milo and Braden are both going to be in the spirit world today. At the same time. Within view of each other.”
“Yeah …”
“Remember why that has never happened before, with the exception of the one time you jumped away in the middle of Saia’s memorial?” he asks, holding up his palms and wiggling his fingers at me.
I think I’m going to pass out. My strength slithers out of me and puddles on the floor. How did I not think about this earlier? From the beginning of this plan, I knew they both had to be there. Somehow I managed to bury the implications of that deep in the recesses of my mind. I’m such an idiot.
“How much does Milo know about Spiritual Companions?” I ask quietly.
“I explained it in pretty good detail,” Lance admits.
I slump down to the floor and close my eyes. “He’s going to figure it out.”
“Thank goodness.”
I turn to scowl at him.
“What? I told you, I don’t like keeping secrets.”
“You’re so helpful,” I drone.
He just shrugs. “Whatever. How about we get this rescue started? We’ve still got a full day of rounding up Ciphers and finding places to put them.”
Right. Milo may find out about Braden, and it’s really going to suck if he does, but I have bigger problems at the moment. “Okay, I’m going,” I say.
Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy Page 31
