I'll Stand By You

by Sharon Sala

  Johnny shrugged. “The way I see it, we’re both trying to keep our families intact any way we can. I don’t see anyone else offering to shoulder our burdens, and I’m willing to chance it if you are.”

  Dori didn’t have to think twice. The moment she’d heard the offer, the relief she’d felt had been visceral.

  “I would love to be able to stay here for a while longer.”

  He didn’t know he’d been holding his breath until she spoke. He exhaled slowly and tried not to look too excited.

  “I promise you won’t need to worry about…uh, that I would assume anything personal would happen between us.”

  “I trust you,” she said softly.

  “Good. Then it’s settled,” he said.

  She nodded. “Yes, it’s settled.”

  Chapter 15

  Dori woke up Sunday morning with tears on her face. She didn’t remember what she’d been dreaming, but it didn’t matter. Her reality was explanation enough.

  She rolled over onto her side and got up quietly, so as not to wake up the baby, then darted across the hall to the bathroom and back again before she got caught in the hall in her nightgown. Once inside her room, she began sifting through her new clothes to find something to wear and settled on another clean shirt and jeans. Sometime today, she’d do laundry again.

  She could smell coffee brewing as she dressed and knew Johnny was up. She didn’t know what the Sunday routine was in this house, but she remembered hers.

  Sunday breakfast was usually pancakes, then getting ready for church and listening to Granddaddy singing “The Old Rugged Cross” as he shaved.

  And bracing herself to show up in church as the unwed mother she was, putting up with a combination of overdone pity or disdain.

  Granddaddy hadn’t seen it, but then men rarely hear the sarcasm behind a woman’s sharp words and sweet smile.

  Ordinarily she dressed without looking at herself, but today was her birthday, and in the eyes of the law, she was no longer a juvenile. She didn’t feel different but wondered if she looked different. One glance and it was plain to see she was still the same too-thin girl she’d been yesterday, but whatever decisions she made from this day forward would be hers to make. And her first decision was to ignore the day of her birth. For the first time in her life, there would be no celebration. As Beep would have said, she was too sad for cake.

  But as it turned out, sad had no place in her day. Luther woke up smiling, and when she got him out of bed to bathe, his antics made her laugh. Taking care of him took her out of herself, and her dark mood soon lifted.

  She had him on her hip and was on her way to the kitchen to make his oatmeal when the boys came out of the kitchen, their feet dragging.

  “Hi, guys,” Dori said.

  “We had to take the cave down,” Marshall muttered.

  “We can’t be wolves no more,” Beep added.

  “You can build it somewhere else,” she said.

  Their expressions shifted to one of instant relief.

  “Really? It doesn’t have to be the table?”

  “’Course not,” she said. “You saw how we did it yesterday, so take it into your bedroom. You can tie corners to one end of the bed and then find something else to hold up the other end. You’ll figure it out.”

  They bolted back into the kitchen at high speed.

  “Johnny! Johnny! Wait, don’t wash them quilts!” Beep yelled.

  Dori chuckled, and when she did, Luther crowed, trying to mimic her sound. She laughed.

  “Monkey see, monkey do,” she said and tweaked his nose as the boys came flying back out of the kitchen, dragging the quilts behind them.

  Johnny was cleaning up breakfast dishes when she walked in.

  “Sorry we were late.”

  He shook his head. “You’re not late. They were up at the crack of dawn wanting to play some more. I ruined their party when I told them they had to give the table back. I don’t know what you said, but whatever it was, thanks.”

  “They’re making another cave in their room.”

  “Ah. Usually they mope around when they can’t go out and play. This may be the best rainy day in this house ever. Can I make you breakfast? It won’t take long to make a little more oatmeal.”

  She shook her head. “Thanks, but I’m just not hungry. I’m going to feed Luther his cereal. I might eat some toast later.”

  He frowned. “Don’t skip meals. You can’t keep up the strength you need to take care of him if you get run down, okay?”

  She looked up. “You sounded like Granddaddy just then.”

  “Smart man,” Johnny muttered and pointed to the cabinet. “I’m going to make a run to the grocery store this morning. If you need stuff, add it to that list. I’m going to go change the sheets on their bed before they get the new hidey-hole all set up.”

  Dori fixed Luther’s cereal and then cradled him in her arms to feed. Tomorrow she was getting a high chair, but right now, adding items to the grocery list came first.

  * * *

  It was also raining in Oneida, the next town over.

  Some of the less faithful worshippers in the various churches had opted to stay home, rather than slog through the rain to be chastised for their shortcomings. Others’ plans to go fishing had been shifted to sleeping in or driving into Savannah for a day out at the mall.

  For twenty-three-year-old Frankie Ricks, the rain had in no way dampened his curiosity about what was going on with Dori Grant. He was completely worthless and something of a gigolo. He got what he needed from willing, and sometimes unwilling, women, because of a better-than-average resemblance to the actor Johnny Depp. But he wasn’t dumb, and he was really good at waiting for handouts. Today was a bust, so he kicked back in the recliner in his apartment and reached for the phone. No way was he going out to eat in this downpour. He was ordering in.

  * * *

  Pansy wasn’t going to church. She’d used the “I have a headache” to get out of sex with Bart last night and was going to lay low in her bedroom today to continue the ruse. Fearing the news of her smackdown from Dori Grant was probably common knowledge by now, she couldn’t face her church friends and was fed up with Bart. Since he’d caused all of her troubles, he should be miserable too.

  When he came back to their bedroom to get dressed for church, he gave her “that look,” the one where she was at a disadvantage and he had an itch needing to be scratched.

  “I see that look on your face. Just because I’m in bed doesn’t mean you can take advantage of me, Bart Jones. I’m sick, and you will respect the misery of my condition, do you hear me?”

  Bart glared. “I didn’t say a thing.”

  “You didn’t have to,” Pansy said. “Go about your business and give the pastor my regrets.”

  Bart paraded around in his birthday suit, a less than sexy image considering his paunch and skinny ass, not to mention a poor excuse for an erection. He kept casting hopeful glances in Pansy’s direction as he took his Sunday suit from the closet.

  Pansy was getting nervous. “For Pete’s sake, Bart Jones, put your pants on. I’ve seen all that before.”

  He paused. “How about just a little poke, Pansy? I wouldn’t take long.”

  She thumped the bed with her fists. “So what else is new? You take just long enough to make yourself happy, which is my problem with you and your pokes. This is Sunday and you should be ashamed of yourself for wanting to fornicate on the Good Lord’s day.”

  Bart’s shoulders sagged along with his ardor. “Sorry,” he muttered, then dressed in record time and made himself scarce.

  The minute Pansy heard him drive away, she second-guessed her decision to stay home. Maybe she should have gone and pretended nothing was wrong. In a panic, she jumped out of bed and fell to her knees beside the bed and began to pray, begging the Good Lor
d to not only forgive her, but to also get her out of this mess with her good name intact.

  Even after the prayer was over, Pansy was pretty sure she’d overstated her troubles to the Lord. Her life wasn’t in danger. Her health was fine. They owned their home and their car, and they had food to eat. She didn’t know where gossip fell in the sin category, but then she remembered that verse in the Ten Commandments about not bearing false witness against her neighbors and started bawling.

  “I’m fucked,” she wailed and got off the floor and headed for the kitchen.

  She needed a drink of something stronger than coffee.

  * * *

  Johnny had the grocery list and the extra money Dori had given him. The worst of the wind had stopped blowing as he headed uptown to the supermarket, turning the rain into a mere downpour instead of a gale. As he drove, he remembered he needed to call Miss Jane at the Before and After about Dori taking over her duties, so as soon as he parked, he made the call. It rang a couple of times, and then she answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Miss Jane, this is Johnny Pine.”

  “Why, hello, Johnny. I hope nothing is wrong with the boys.”

  “No, ma’am, but I need to let you know that Dori’s going to take over getting them to and from school for the last two weeks.”

  “That’s wonderful,” Jane said. “I know this will help you immensely.”

  Johnny smiled, thankful she understood.

  “Yes, ma’am, and they won’t have to get up quite as early either. It will be a big help all around.”

  “How is she doing today?” Jane asked. “She looked so stressed out yesterday. My heart just aches for her loss.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I guess she’s doing okay. She doesn’t complain and has the baby to keep her thoughts on other things.”

  “Well, give her my regards, and you all have a good summer.”

  “You too, Miss Jane, and thank you for being my backup quarterback all year.”

  He heard her chuckle. “I like being called the backup rather than the babysitter. Maybe I’ll change the name of my day care to Backup Quarterback.”

  She was still laughing when he disconnected. He patted his pocket to make sure he had the list and then looked out at the rain. There was no good way to do this, so he slapped his cap on his head, bailed out of the car, and made a run for the door.

  * * *

  Dori was putting a load of clothes in the washer. Luther was in his playpen, sucking his thumb and fighting sleep. Johnny had been gone almost an hour, and Dori was thinking about what to make for dinner at noon when she heard Beep scream. She dropped the clothes and ran.

  The makeshift cave was at the end of the bed, and Marshall was on the floor in front of it. He was on his hands and knees trying to cough, but his face was turning blue. Beep was pulling on Marshall’s arm, trying to help him up when Dori ran in.

  She grabbed Marshall around the waist and yanked him up. She knew he was choking, but she didn’t know on what.

  “Beep! Beep! Stop crying and tell me what’s in his mouth.”

  “A marble. I think he swallowed a marble.”

  When Dori saw a handful on the floor beside him, it was evidence enough. She locked her hands beneath his rib cage and began the Heimlich maneuver, repeating it over and over with a prayer in her heart.

  God help me. Help me. Don’t let this child die.

  Beep’s screams masked the sound of running feet as Johnny suddenly appeared in the doorway, his eyes wild with fright. Before he could move, he saw a marble shoot out of Marshall’s mouth, landing with a thunk at his feet.

  “Thank you, God!” Dori murmured and then held him close as he began gasping and coughing, drawing life-giving breath back into his body.

  Beep was still sobbing as Johnny reached the bed.

  Dori staggered backward, taking Marshall with her as she flopped backward onto the mattress.

  Johnny turned. “Beep, stop screaming, buddy. Marshall is okay. See? See? He’s breathing on his own.”

  Still, he picked Beep up and sat down beside Dori and Marshall, so shaken by what he’d witnessed that for a few moments he couldn’t speak. He kept remembering all the times he’d been gone on brief errands and left Marshall in charge. Today, if Dori hadn’t been here, Marshall would have died.

  Dori’s heart was still pounding, but the relief of knowing Marshall was breathing had lessened the panic she’d first felt.

  Johnny cupped Marshall’s face and pushed the sweaty hair away from his forehead.

  “Hey, Marshall…hey, buddy, are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere? Does it hurt to breathe?”

  Too weak to speak, Marshall was drinking air like water as he shook his head and went limp against Dori’s chest, her hands still locked tight against his belly.

  Johnny clutched her arm, his gaze locked on her face. “You saved his life!”

  Dori shuddered. “And he nearly scared the life out of me.”

  “What happened?” Johnny asked.

  “I was in the utility room when I heard Beep scream. By the time I got here, Marshall was turning blue. I don’t know for sure how it happened, but he swallowed a marble, and that’s what came out.”

  His hand tightened at the back of her neck as he glanced down at Marshall’s face again. His color was returning to normal. He felt his pulse. It was rapid but steady.

  Beep was still snuffling and shaking. “Marshall had a marble in his mouth,” he offered.

  Johnny frowned. “What the hell for?”

  “It was a red one. We was pretendin’ they was starberries.”

  Johnny sighed. He couldn’t believe this had happened, and at their ages. He glanced back at Marshall.

  “Pretending is fine. Putting stuff in your mouth that could choke you is not. Are we clear on that?”

  Marshall nodded and then crawled out of Dori’s lap and into Johnny’s arms as Beep gave way to his bigger brother’s presence.

  Dori got up and took Beep by the hand.

  “Let’s go get your face washed up and bring a washcloth back for Marshall, okay?”

  Beep clung to her hand as they walked out, leaving Johnny and Marshall alone.

  As soon as they were gone, Marshall started talking.

  “I saw Mama. She was telling me to hang on. I saw Mama, Johnny. I swear on my life.”

  Johnny wrapped his arms around his little brother as his vision blurred.

  “Well, I’m damn glad you hung on, okay? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry, Johnny, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay, son, just promise you won’t do anything dumb like that again.”

  Marshall spit on his hand then slapped it against his heart.

  “I swear,” he whispered.

  Beep came back with the washcloth Dori promised and handed it to Johnny, who began wiping Marshall’s face and then wiping away everyone’s tears.

  “Are you crying too, Johnny?” Beep asked.

  Johnny sighed. “A little bit, I guess. You guys scared me.”

  Beep crawled up on Johnny’s other knee as Johnny wrapped his arms around them and held them close.

  “I love you guys. Don’t ever forget that, okay?”

  “We love you too, Johnny,” they echoed.

  It took Johnny a moment to realize Dori had not come back with Beep.

  “Where’s Dori?” Johnny asked.

  “She said the Pine men needed some time alone. Are we men too, Johnny?”

  Johnny managed a shaky grin.

  “You’re working on it,” he said. “Now do me a favor. Beep, you pick up those marbles and throw them in the trash. Marshall, I want you to get in the bed and rest for a little while, okay? You can turn on the television, maybe find some cartoons. I’m thinking a littl
e downtime before dinner would be a good idea.”

  They nodded in agreement as Johnny kissed them both and then got up and left the room, in search of Dori.

  Chapter 16

  After Dori sent Beep back with the wet washcloth, she went straight back to the utility room and put the clothes she had dropped into the wash. Her hands were shaking as she stuffed them in the tub and sprinkled in the soap. She was seeing spots before her eyes as she set the water temperature and started the machine, and then on her way back into the kitchen, weakness overwhelmed her.

  Oh my God, I am going to faint.

  She staggered to the sink and then stood for a few moments with her head down and her eyes closed, trying to catch her breath, unaware what was happening was a result of the adrenaline crash.

  All of a sudden, there were hands on her shoulders. It was Johnny. She felt him give them a slight squeeze and then he turned her around.

  Their gazes locked.

  He lowered his head to brush a kiss across her forehead, then wrapped his arms around her. When he spoke, his voice was shaking. “I have no words.”

  “I thought I’d found him too late.”

  He tightened his grip. “Thank God, you didn’t quit.”

  Dori looked up and saw tears swimming in his eyes. “I’m not the quitting kind,” she said.

  “I really, really want to kiss you,” he whispered.

  Awash with sudden longing, Dori wanted that too. “I wouldn’t mind,” she said softly.

  And so he did.

  First, it was a mere brush of his mouth across hers, then another pass that lingered. Then he took a breath, centered his mouth upon her lips, and he was lost. He knew she was trembling, but she was also hugging him back. That simple fact gave him hope.

  When he stopped and pulled away, the room tilted beneath his feet, as if he’d lost his anchor to earth. He cupped her face, then ran a thumb across her lower lip, still moist from the kiss.

  “Please don’t regret that happened.”

  “No regrets, Johnny,” she said and managed a shaky smile.

  “Promise?”

  “Yes, I promise.”

  “I would never want to scare you. If I just did, I swear that won’t ever happen again.”