No Fear

by Heather Allen

  I move my hand from Christina’s grasp and run it through my hair. I make another attempt at moving to a sitting position. This time I’m successful. I glance from one to the other with a sigh.

  “He left. He said they threatened his life, so he ran.” I shake my head thinking about it and how, if I hadn’t started fighting underground, none of this would have happened.

  “I did this. I started fighting underground and they got wind of it. He would still be around if I hadn’t done this, which is even more reason for you two to get the hell away from me.”

  Jackson blows out a breath, almost whistling. “Greylan Pace, you keep on surprising me.” He shakes his head and smiles. “First of all, Meyer made his bed a long time ago, with no help from you. Don’t lose sleep over him.”

  “How are your real stats?” His voice takes on an amused tone.

  “Pretty good. Lost once to a little weasel, but he has good potential.”

  Christina looks to Jax as if to chastise fight talk. He holds his hands up in surrender as he stands. “I’m gonna leave you two for a bit. Don’t forget we have a lot to talk about. Might as well get used to the idea; we ain’t going anywhere.”

  As he leaves, Christina stands ordering. “Scoot over.”

  I move as much as the bed will allow, and she climbs up next to me. I turn my head in hesitation. Now that she’s here and we’re good again, I’m not sure if I really saw things correctly. Maybe her text meant something else. A second later, though, she turns my face toward hers with a finger under my chin. “Grey, I haven’t been truthful with you.”

  “Really.” I can’t help the playful smile that appears on my lips. She is so beautiful. The freckles dotting her smooth skin make her look so innocent. Her blue eyes shine at me with a challenge. Why didn’t I see all this before?

  I lean closer, feeling her warm breath against my cheek. But I don’t close the distance. I want to hear her say it. My words are whispered. “What exactly did you lie about?”

  She hesitates, her exasperation showing and her eyes looking everywhere but at me. “I…I think I fell in love with you the day you walked into Juno’s looking for a job.”

  She raises her gaze in hesitation. The smile disappears as I lean in, closing the distance between us. My lips gently probe hers, becoming familiar again. We move together, remembering but also feeling for the first time. She opens them, welcoming a deeper kiss. My hand moves to her cheek as I mumble against her lips. “I’m so sorry it took me this long.” My other hand moves to the other side of her smooth skin as I take over her whole mouth, kissing every millimeter of it. This, I realize, is what it’s all about for me. Christina.

  Chapter 18

  Late in the evening after Jackson has left to go back to his hotel, Christina snuggles into my side. She hasn’t left the room since I woke up. I’ve encouraged her to go and get something to eat and a nap or shower, but she refuses to let me out of her sight.

  If the roles were reversed, I’d do the same for her, so I won’t give her a hard time.

  We spent about two hours hashing everything out. I told them just about everything—the betrayal of Meyer and Mollie, fighting underground for Frank and Chris and even my sister’s upcoming wedding. I was petrified they had told Trinity about the incident, but they hadn’t. Part of me feels guilty, because I could have been in worse shape than having just a few broken ribs and a swollen face and back. But now more than ever, she can’t know about everything. Not yet, anyway. Jackson is convinced it might be best to tell her. I’m not sure, though. If she finds out about the mob and Parker, she would be devastated. I can’t do that to my sister. It’s my job to protect her from all of this. For now, I’ve convinced them; Trinity stays in the dark.

  We were talking in circles by the time I called it quits, or really the nurse did. She let Christina stay, which was a good move on her part, because the girl would have beaten her ass if she had decided otherwise.

  Now as night turns into morning, I can’t help thinking about all of the choices I’ve made that have brought us to this point. Most of them I can’t call my best moments. Somehow I have to make things right again and now, holding Christina in my arms, I realize it might mean I have to give up fighting.

  To my surprise, that idea doesn’t seem like doom or the end of the world, as it might have before. I would miss it, of course, but it might be our only chance of getting out of where I’ve put us. Meyer may have been right in all of his idiocies after all. He knew a long time ago what the outcome could be. Again my anger at him rises. I wish I could be worried about him and want to look for him to make sure he’s safe, but there have been too many betrayals. He has lost my loyalty. As far as I’m concerned, he’s on his own.

  I must have dozed because Christina shifts next to me, nuzzling into my side. The movement brings me back, blinking at the rays of sunshine reaching in through the blinds on the lone window. The machines pushed against the wall were turned off last night, except for the heart rate monitor attached to my finger.

  A hand creeps up my chest, causing the numbers displayed on the monitor to go up. I look over to her still body and kiss the top of her head. I never realized in all this time what was right in front of me. Instead, I fought to make something work that never could, with Mollie. Just thinking about her puts a bad taste in my mouth. I never saw through her façade. She played me the whole time, and I let her.

  Christina’s hand begins traveling south. A wide smile meets my lips as she lifts her head from my chest. Her eyes are still sleepy, but the sneaky look on her face tells me she’s up to no good. Her hand meets my already hard length. I know the nurse will be in any minute because the monitor must be going wild, but I savor her touch. Gently she grabs me, moving just slightly. I lean back into the pillow and close my eyes. “Christina, you know you’re gonna get in trouble for that but ahhh, it feels so good.” My voice is a whisper.

  She giggles, moving more quickly. Too soon the door to the room opens and her hand is gone from my dick. My eyes remain closed, because I know what’s coming. I can only imagine what the nurse can see. I’m sure the blanket is tented down there. I don’t care, though. I intend to do many things to and with Christina as soon as I’m released from this place. We’ve wasted too much time.

  “Umm, Mr. Pace. Your heart rate monitor; I wanted to make sure it’s still working properly.”

  My head pops up and I look toward the door. Her eyes avert from mine. I smile and look to Christina, whispering, “You’re naughty.”

  She moves to my ear, “You have no idea, Mr. Pace.” She takes my ear lobe into her mouth, and I know if I don’t get her out of this bed, I’ll be more than chastised by this nurse.

  I nudge Christina, encouraging her to move off the bed. “Sorry, I think it’s working just fine.”

  Christina reluctantly leaves the space, making me regret asking her to get up. The place where she was lying is suddenly cold. She looks sheepishly at the nurse. “Sorry, it won’t happen again.”

  The nurse smirks. I can’t tell whether it’s out of annoyance or amusement, but it doesn’t matter because Christina is kissing me as soon as the door closes. I laugh into her mouth mumbling, “You’re gonna get us in trouble again.”

  “Nope.” She moves her tongue with mine, before pulling back for a second. “She won’t be back.” She continues her assault, whispering, “I can’t wait until we get out of here.”

  That makes two of us.

  I move my hands over her ribs and rest them at her waist. She moans into my mouth—a sound of frustration—and I know exactly how she feels. After kissing her thoroughly, I pull away. “If we keep this up, the nurse will definitely come back.”

  She smiles and moves back into her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ll be a good girl, I promise.” She is just so damn beautiful. What kind of idiot am I to not have seen it before? I leave the bed, heading toward the bathroom. The movement causes shooting pain in my side, making me wince. She’s a
t my side an instant later. “Grey, are you okay; can I help?” She fits my arm over her shoulder.

  I shake my head and caress her back before crossing the room on my own. I have to bear it and recover. There are too many things that need to be decided, and I’m not done in the ring. This much I know. I’ll give it up when I need to, but not just yet.

  ***

  We stayed in the hospital one more day before the doctors decided I could be released. Christina left earlier in the day to get my truck from Meyer’s house. She was reluctant to leave and called Jackson to sit with me until she got back. I know she’s afraid the mob guys will come back for me, but I know that as long as I lose in the pro circuit as ordered and don’t fight for Frank and Chris anymore, they’ll leave me alone. Little does anyone know, I can’t keep those promises. The safety of too many people I love is on the line.

  Someone has to end this. I know we’re up against an opponent that has never lost, but everyone has a weakness. They know mine. It’s time I find out what theirs is.

  The nurse insisted I ride down to the exit in a wheelchair. I’m sure it was a funny sight—a big guy like me being pushed through the halls in a wheelchair. Jackson walked beside me, giving me hell the whole way. I know I’ll never live it down with him.

  As Christina pulls up with my truck, I move slowly from the chair, still sore throughout most of my body. Jackson asks, “Dude, do you need anything?” I shake my head, still feeling uneasy about him being here. I would never forgive myself if they did anything to him. He reassures me, probably due to the worry on my face.

  “No worries, I’m just going to go and see Jimmy. It’s been a long time. I think we have some things to catch up on.” I shake my head, knowing this isn’t going to help things. But he wants to see things clearly before we make any moves. When we spoke a couple of days ago, we didn’t quite see things eye to eye. I’m convinced I need to get back in both rings and mix things up. Jackson and Christina are completely against that scenario. They said if I wanted a death wish, it would be a good choice. So we’re at a draw right now. Jackson’s going to meet with Jimmy. I have a feeling he just might make a visit to see Frank and Chris too. This is all far from over. I’m sure things will get worse before they get better. If I can just keep everyone safe in the process, I’ll have achieved my goal.

  Christina grabs my hand as she drives us back to Meyer’s house. I know going back will be hard, knowing he hasn’t been around and won’t be coming back. As pissed at him as I am, I hope to god he’s safe.

  Once we arrive, she comes around the truck to help me out, but I’m fine. They all treat me like I’m fragile. My ribs are still very sore. The bruising on my face and back are beginning to clear up. I’ll be okay in a week. I know it could have been worse. My guess is those guys have experience using a bat on someone’s body. They are able to cause just enough damage to get the message across. It’s my turn now to get my message across.

  We walk up the stairs to the door. Her hands shake as she wrestles with the lock.

  “Hey, Christina, you okay?” My hand settles on hers to steady them.

  She turns to fully face me as the door swings open. “I’m worried.” Her expression seems terrified, not just worried.

  “It’s okay. I promise they got their message across. We won’t see any of Luciano’s thugs unless I mess up again.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s not that. I’m worried about that, but…”

  I step closer, lowering the bag of bloodied clothes from that night. I move my hand to caress her cheek. “What is it then?”

  “Us.” She blurts out. “I’m afraid now that we’re back here. Now that you’re home, things will be different.”

  Oh man, that is the last thing I want her to fear. She is the only thing I’m sure of at this moment. I smile, moving closer to her face. When my lips meet her cheek, I kiss upward to her pulse point and tell her, “You are what I am most sure of. Don’t think for one second things will go back to anything different. We are past the point of no return.”

  With the last of my words, I grab her hand and pull her into the house. I close the door, pinning her with my body against the back of the door. My lips meet her neck before trailing up to her mouth. As our lips dance, my hands move back down her sides to the edge of her shirt. I can’t concentrate, though, because the kiss is so emotional. Everything for the past year that I didn’t say with words pours into that kiss. There is so much that I should have seen from the start. Her tongue moves with mine, deepening, and I look up again. I remove her shirt, breaking our kiss for seconds too long. She lifts my shirt and struggles to get it over my head. A giggle escapes those perfectly pouty lips. I help her, lifting it the rest of the way, and whisper, “This might be easier upstairs.”

  She nods, reluctant to stop the kiss. Her chest heaves when she turns to climb the stairs a few feet away. I watch as she unbuttons her jeans, lowering them as she steps up the stairs. My pants are suddenly way too tight as I watch her bare skin, clothed only in a thong and bra, slowly climb those steps. I’ve lost my own jeans by the time I step onto the landing. Her bra and panties are strewn on the floor in front of my bedroom. Again I’m pissed at myself for never seeing this a long time ago. By the time I round the corner into my room, my dick is standing at attention and I’ve barely even touched her. She is sitting on the edge of the bed stark naked, the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. I take a moment to close the door and click the lock. I intend to explore that body thoroughly, for the rest of the day. I can’t take chances on any interruptions. She looks up shyly and I’m falling. I know she’s it for me. Never could there be anyone else.

  Chapter 19

  When I wake the next morning with Christina in my arms, I’m convinced I must be the luckiest man in the world. I look down at her peaceful face still sound asleep. Now, finally, I’m on the right track with something. I have to hold on to her through this next round of stuff. Somehow I have to keep her safe while I carry out my plan.

  She twists in my arms, settling back into the crook between my arm and shoulder. I notice that she’s still naked, which is a first for her. For as long as I’ve known her, she has liked to sleep with clothes and gets up to put clothes back on in the middle of the night. Part of me wants to kiss her silly again and make love to her all day. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of this. But I know we have lots to do.

  My phone rings on the table beside the bed, as if it knew my exact thoughts. I reach over, trying not to disturb Christina. She shifts with the noise and moves her hands to her eyes, rubbing the sleep away. I bring the phone to my ear, not bothering to see who it is.

  “Hello.”

  “Greylan? Are you alright? I heard you were in the hospital. Are you okay? Why didn’t you call me? I can’t believe you, Grey, you didn’t call me…” Trinity’s voice breaks with the more words she speaks into the phone. I feel like a dick for not calling her, but I had my reasons. Now I’m pissed someone did tell her. Someone must have told her. Dammit, Parker. I’m pretty sure it had to be him.

  “Trin, it was nothing. I had a fight and just needed to get fixed up a little.”

  Silence on the line spreads. I’m about to ask if she’s still there, but her voice is angry when she speaks again. “Grey, don’t you lie to me. I know you didn’t have a fight. You haven’t fought in weeks.”

  Fuck. I knew she kept up with the fights, but it was worth a try. I know she’s busy with wedding stuff, so I thought maybe she wouldn’t know when I fought last.

  “Grey, just come off it and tell me the truth. I’m tired of you not telling me things. I feel like there’s this whole other side of your life that you don’t let me in on.” Her voice wavers from the ferocity she’s trying to maintain. “I’m your sister. What happened to ‘we are all we have left?’”

  As always, the guilt wedges itself right in. My chest aches from it. I look down to Christina, meeting her stare. She’s watching me. I attempt a smile for her benefit, but it fails
miserably. She moves her hand to my cheek in encouragement. I look away and speak to the air, to Trinity, while trying not to feel. “Trinity, like I said, it was nothing.”

  “Dammit, Greylan, I’m so fucking tired of this shit with you. When are you gonna let anyone in? I can’t do this with you.” I can tell she’s beginning to cry. I feel even shittier, if that’s possible.

  “Hey, how about we meet today for lunch? I’d rather talk to you in person than on the phone.” Fear crosses Christina’s features. I move my hand against her bare shoulder in assurance, but she still seems not convinced.

  “Fine. Let’s meet at Mario’s. It’s where the rehearsal dinner will be.”

  “Okay, one o’clock. See you then.”

  I hang up and look back to Christina’s still worried expression. “What?”

  “Have you looked in the mirror lately?” I shake my head, not even thinking about how crappy I must look. Those guys did a number on my face. One eye is still bruised, yellowing, and still in the healing process. My cheek took the brunt of the hit, too, and is still blue.

  “Too late now. I have to tell her something. She knows I’m keeping things from her.”

  “Are you going to tell her about the mob?” She stares at me, the blue in her eyes doing a number on me. I shake my head while moving her closer. Her leg crosses over mine, distracting me momentarily.

  “I don’t think it’s the right time. I was thinking about telling her about fighting underground. If we hash out the pro stuff, I have to tell her about Parker, and I’m not ready for that. I’m afraid if she knows it will affect him, which might put her in danger.”

  She seems to mull over my reasoning. I want to tell Trinity. I want her as far away from the mob as possible. I’m not sure, though, whether she would leave Parker. I can’t take the chance yet. Not until I make a plan.

  Christina turns to look at the time on her watch. “Well, that doesn’t give us much time.”