Nic's Devotion: An Endless Series: Book One

by Sara Hess

  Immeasurable rage filled me at what Carrie might have experienced. I prayed it wasn’t as terrible as I was envisioning. She’d said that something bad had happened and she’d had to go into a clinic for a year. A whole bloody year of therapy suggested something more than just bad. It had to have been damn horrific.

  If what I was imagining was true then Carrie was actually well adjusted. Rape, or god willing, attempted rape, could leave some lasting internal scars, where she wouldn’t want to be touched ever again. However, she said that she liked kissing me and the feel of my body so maybe, hopefully, I was wrong in my assumption of rape and it was something totally different. Maybe she’d been locked in some small room for an extended period of time. That would explain her claustrophobia.

  I smiled remembering her comment of how she was getting good at kissing. Oh, she was getting good alright. When she’d copied me and sucked and worked my bottom lip…well, that’s what had made me lose control.

  And remembering wasn’t doing anything for my hard-on; reaching down I adjusted my junk to the right, away from her. Kissing her was better than fucking any of the other experienced girls I’d been with previously, and I knew she responded because of me and not because I was on the lacrosse team, or because I was heir of Stanford tools. Moreover, because of her ingrained guardedness the responses she gave me were all the sweeter.

  Gazing down at her angelic face I could hardly believe it, but I think I was falling in love with her. I never thought it was possible for me to feel like this, never thought I would fall in love. Living with my parents and seeing their cold detached relationship had instilled in me an illustration of what I had expected my life to end up resembling. The last thing I wanted was to end up in a marriage like theirs, but it was just something I assumed would come to pass as girls came and went in my life leaving me entirely unaffected emotionally.

  Girls had always come easily to me, and I’d accepted what was offered, but I never felt for any of them what I felt for Carrie. She called to all my male instincts. The most obvious; I wanted her. My body hungered for her constantly. It wasn’t just physical though. I thought about her every minute of the day; what she might be doing and if she was safe. My dreams were filled with her; most of them were wet dreams, but as much as my body yearned for her I found I wanted her happy above anything else.

  Every cell of my body had seemed to recognize her as mine since the first moment I’d seen her. I’d fought it and thrown up excuses, not wanting to accept it being the dumbass that I was, but I wasn’t fighting it any longer though. Now I wanted to battle her demons. No, fuck that; I wanted to kill them for her and I was beginning to think I wouldn’t just stick to the ones in her mind. I’d kill for her in reality, maybe because it seemed no one else ever had.

  She was moving into the dorms tomorrow and somehow she’d acquired a room to herself. I thought I would be happy about that since she wouldn’t have to take the bus any longer, but instead I was now worried about the dorm being coed. There would be other guys living near her. She was so damn gorgeous they would be flocking around her in droves. I know the security to the building was pretty good, but what about the ya-hoo’s that already lived in the building. There could be a predator just down the hall from her. I almost wish she would continue to stay at the woman’s shelter. They had top notch security and that dragon at the front desk was sure to keep any undesirables out.

  Carrie moaned burrowing closer into my side and her leg moved up mine creeping closer to my cock. I groaned; I’d just gotten the thing to shrink down some and now it was swelling painfully again.

  Reaching over my head I grabbed the remote and turned on the television. Watching lacrosse highlights might get my mind off knees, erections, and how her legs were slightly spread. Uhhg!

  Suddenly, I was jerked from a sound sleep. I tighten my hold on Carrie reflexively, and she moaned softly but continued sleeping. Wondering what had woken me I was given an answer when Seth appeared in the entrance hall. I relaxed at seeing him realizing it was probably the sound of the front door that had roused me.

  Seth stopped at seeing Carrie and me and an odd expression passed over his face. He walked into the room sitting down in the chair near my feet.

  “It’s a no wonder she fell asleep if you made her suffer through this shit. What the hell you watching shuffle board on ice for?” He grunted softly.

  I looked at the television to see grown men doing exactly that. “That’s called curling and it’s an actual Olympic sport.” I informed him with a yawn.

  “It’s disturbing that you know that.” Seth snorted.

  “Anyway, I wasn’t watching that when I fell asleep. I was watching lacrosse highlights.”

  “Again, no wonder she fell asleep.” He criticized.

  I tossed the remote to him which he caught no problem. “Actually, Carrie fell asleep almost immediately after dinner.”

  Seth discovered some soccer highlights on a different sports channel. “You need some advice on how to keep a chick entertained?” He ragged quietly.

  I didn’t say anything and he looked at me inquiringly. I must have had a look on my face because his expression sobered. That was saying a lot because Seth always looked serious.

  “Just kidding, man.” He mumbled.

  “No, it’s not anything you said. She was just tired.” I replied with a sigh.

  Seth leaned forward in the chair and his gaze switched from me to Carrie. His expression became thoughtful, his frown cavernous. Anger was in his eyes when they came back to me. “Something happened like last time, didn’t it?”

  I was a little surprised by the degree of emotion emanating from Seth. It almost spoke of a personal interest.

  Jealousy wanted to rear its head but I suppressed it; he was just showing concern. Looking down at Carrie sleeping serenely next to me I gave a stroke to her hair. I took note that my arm had fallen asleep under her, but I didn’t care; some discomfort was worth her having a peaceful sleep.

  “Yeah,” I answered gravely.

  Seth’s frown didn’t abate. “You did something to distress her?”

  “I did something that brought up bad memories.” I replied generally, not appreciating his accusatory tone. “There’s a lot of hurt inside of her. She’s got a strong spirit, but certain things I think catch her by surprise and it just overwhelms her.”

  Seth’s gaze returned to Carrie and I began to bristle at the duration of the stare. I was about to snap and ask him what the hell he was staring at when the front door opened and then slammed closed. Seth’s eyes moved away at the sound but came right back when Carrie suddenly shot up from her sound sleep with a loud gasp. Her eyes were wide with alarm.

  I sat up swiftly next to her; at least as swiftly as I could with a dead arm. “Carrie, it’s okay. It’s just the front door.”

  Carrie’s gaze was sleepily and adorably unfocused as she turned to look at me. She frowned in bewilderment blinking a few times and took in the surroundings. Catching sight of Seth her brows rose in surprise and then went back to frowning.

  “We fell asleep and Seth came home and woke us up.” I explained rubbing her back soothingly with my working arm. I shook the other one trying to wake it up.

  A giggle erupted from the hallway and then Evan came into view with—CRAP—Nikki trailing behind him. What in the Sam Hell was she doing here? Seth muttered an almost inaudible “Fuck’ next to me. I couldn’t have expressed it any better. Carrie’s drowsy confusion was turning to discomfort; probably having to do with waking up to a roomful of people she scarcely knew.

  Evan gave us all a smile and a nod. “Hey everyone; this is Nikki. We’re just going to go upstairs and catch some late night shows.” He gave us an eyebrow wiggle in case we’d suddenly turned stupid.

  Nikki’s gaze had zeroed in on me as she came into view. Her eyes had a malicious cast to them that didn’t bode well. She stepped away from Evan and walked into the room.

  “What are you guys watching in
here?” She asked in a tone way too sugary sweet.

  “Sports,” growled Seth shortly.

  Nikki’s gaze remained glued to me as she walked over to the other empty chair and sat down. The smile that curved her lips was eerie. My stomach clenched in response. Was I going to have another girl air my dirty laundry in front of Carrie?

  “Hey Nic, long time no see.” She smirked.

  “Nikki,” I replied curtly.

  Her eyes flashed with anger. Shit, here it comes. Nikki turned her attention to Carrie. Another, even more disturbing smile curved her mouth.

  “Don’t I know you; you look familiar?”

  Carrie looked like she was still trying to wake up fully. Her brow pinched and she looked around the room at everyone probably feeling the tension in the air and not knowing the reason. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure. I guess you could have seen me around campus.”

  Evan walked half-way into the room and stopped. His expression was just as confused as Carrie’s. I knew he had no idea of my past hook-up with Nikki. He most likely wouldn’t have brought her home if he did.

  Nikki leaned back in the chair looking utterly comfortable. “No, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you somewhere else.”

  I pulled Carrie into my side. “You saw her with me at the party we had last week. I’m pretty sure I informed you of that fact, and that I wasn’t interested in what you were not so subtly offering.”

  Nikki’s expression twisted with fury.

  “What in the hell is going on, Nikki? Did you play me just so you could get into the house and cause some sort of scene?” Evan walked over to Nikki angrily.

  Nikki held up her hands with an expression of forged innocence. “Hey, I can handle being shot down. Who’s making a scene; I was just making an observation that this girl looked familiar to me. And I don’t think it’s from school or the party. No, you have a face that looks…” Nikki’s innocent expression turned mean as she paused for the effect of her next words. “…famous.”

  Carrie went rigid next to me, and her expression displayed sheer horror. Her body started to quake and she attempted to rise, but her legs were wobbling so bad they couldn’t hold her up. I stood and pulled her trembling into my body wanting to give her my comfort and support.

  “No, no, please, no.” Carrie’s soft spoken words sounded desolate.

  Concern and rage warred inside of me; concern for Carrie and rage against Nikki.

  “Evan, get that bitch out of here now.” I shouted angrily. I didn’t know what Nikki was trying to do but it was scaring the hell out of Carrie and I wasn’t going to stand for it.

  Evan walked over and jerked Nikki up out of the chair. Seth stood up too, looking like he was going to assist in booting her out.

  Nikki chuckled gleefully as she was hauled up. “Now I remember; four years ago you were in the news. You killed your own father, and then you were sent away to some psychiatric hospital.”

  Her announcement had everyone freezing in momentary shock. What in the hell was Nikki talking about? There was no possible way that Carrie could have killed her own father. The girl was the sweetest, least aggressive, non-violent person I could think of.

  I put a little space between us so I could look down at her, wanting to see her expression. Only Carrie’s eyes were closed and she appeared to be gasping for breath. Alarm stabbed through me.

  “Carrie, “I gave her a small shake. “Carrie,” I repeated in apprehension when she didn’t respond; she could only gasp for breath. Her eyes flew open and absolute panic came over her face. Then she stopped breathing altogether. Her hands came up to grasp my arms, finger nails dug into my skin as her mouth moved but no breaths came in or out. Her face was turning red.

  “Carrie!” I yelled, shaking her forcefully. “Breathe!”

  “Shit,” Seth exclaimed rushing over.

  Before he reached us Carrie’s eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out in my arms. Her head lolled backwards on her neck and her body slumped lifelessly.

  I caught her up in my arms absolute terror engulfing me. “Carrie, Carrie.” Squeezing her I yelled down into her face trying to wake her up.

  Seth reached my side. “Lay her down on the couch. We need to see if she’s breathing.”

  I processed what Seth was saying and swiftly laid Carrie out on the couch. God, she had stopped breathing, that’s why she’d passed out.

  “Holy shit! Oh my God!”

  I heard Nikki yelling in the background, but didn’t really care what it was she was dealing with.

  “Shut up. They need quiet.” I heard Evan snap angrily.

  Putting my ear to Carrie’s mouth and my hand on her chest I felt for signs of life; a breath or chest movement, a heartbeat. Everything was quiet but for the T.V.’s muted sounds.

  Carrie’s heartbeat was pounding madly, but I wasn’t feeling any sort of breath against my ear. “God, I don’t feel her breathing. Her heartbeat’s going mad though.” I said in panic.

  “Give it a minute. It should come now that she’s passed out.” Seth stated. His voice sounded confident if slightly shaky.

  Concentrating, I finally felt a whiff of breath against my ear. It seemed like such a small whisper to what should be coming out. Her chest rose faintly, and I noted that her heart beat slowed in beats. More breaths came after the first one.

  “She’s breathing.” Relief poured through me, sweet and heady, and I felt my own breath explode from my throat. Straightening up I looked at her face. Her skin was pale and it was strained around her nose and mouth.

  “Shit! What in the hell just happened?” Evan exclaimed. “Is she going to be alright?”

  “She should be fine.” Seth replied still sounding shaken.

  My gaze remained on Carrie as I asked. “How do you know? Maybe we should run her over to the hospital?” I wasn’t going to take any chances with her health. I mean, damn; she’d stopped breathing and passed out. That couldn’t be good for a body.

  Seth moved closer and placed his fingers over the pulse on Carrie’s neck. “I’ve seen something like that before. The person was having a panic attack and stopped breathing, passing out. Twenty minutes later he woke up a little muddled but fine physically.”

  I suddenly remembered Carrie telling me that this had happened to her before. I was somewhat reassured, but not completely. She should be seen by a doctor just to be certain.

  From behind me Evan yelled. “You are a real sadistic bitch. You did that on purpose.”

  “I didn’t know that she was going to pass out like that, I swear it.” Nikki whined.

  Tearing my eyes from Carrie for the first time I rounded on Nikki in rage. “You are a fucking bitch. You came here deliberately to stir up trouble. I don’t know what your problem is; we hooked up weeks ago and you knew that’s all I was looking for. To go about getting some kind of revenge this way because you feel I slighted you is fucking messed up. Carrie didn’t do shit to you. Where the hell did you get this information anyway?”

  Nicky’s expression was anxious, even a little frightened, as Evan flanked her left side holding on tight to her arm. Seth straightened to his full height and her eyes widened even further in alarm.

  “I found it on the internet. All I needed was a full name and then it’s easy discovering out anything on anyone as long as there’s something out there to find.”

  Fury ran hot through me at the maliciousness of this chick. “Get out of this fucking house. I don’t want to see you anywhere near here again. I don’t want to see you near Carrie again. I would suggest that if you see me or her you make haste in the other fucking direction fast. And if I hear any stories circulating around campus I’ll know where they came from and come looking for you. Get her out of here.” I directed toward Evan.

  He nodded and towed her away. I went back to watching over Carrie. Her face looked a little more relaxed and not as pale and strained as a few minutes ago. Her breathing also seemed deeper and more normal. I smoothed her hair away from her
face just so I was touching her somewhere.

  “She told me that she used to pass out like this before. Her tone was blasé as she informed me like it was something that was insignificant, but I don’t think I can wait to see if she’s going to be okay.” I felt the need to tear into something and if she didn’t open her eyes soon I just might.

  “Not wanting to sound just as blasé, but if she sounded that unconcerned about it then there most likely isn’t anything to worry about. At the moment her breathing looks good as does her complexion.” Seth said. He walked behind the couch to lean over the back. He was frowning which didn’t go a long way in relieving my anxiety.

  “Why the hell are you still frowning than?”

  “I’m always frowning.” He grumbled.

  That was true.

  Evan walked back into the room. “Nic, man, I am so sorry. I had no idea that you’d already gotten with the chick. She came onto me hard at the party and…well, you know.”

  “I don’t blame you. Nikki’s been bugging me for weeks. Who knew she’d go Single White Female on me.” I rubbed Carrie’s hands because they seemed kind of cold, and I think I saw it in a chick-flick once. If I had any smelling salts on hand I would apply those too.

  Evan stood at the end of the couch. “Do you think what Nikki said was true…about Carrie killing her father?”

  I didn’t even care about that right now. I just needed Carrie to open her eyes so I knew she was going to be okay.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Carrie

  I couldn’t breathe. I tried gasping in a breath but no air would come in. It was dark and something really heavy pressed down on me; that’s why I couldn’t breathe. I pushed and pushed at it but couldn’t budge it. Then the heavy weight started to hurt me, and I started to cry. It was hard to cry though because I could hardly breathe. Bright lights seemed to spark my vision but it didn’t light the room up any.