One (Love by Numbers Book 5)

by E. S. Carter

  “Ah, babe. Are they for me? You shouldn’t have,” Isaac teases when I walk through his front door.

  “They aren’t for you. They’re for your mother and Jake’s wife.”

  “And they are going to eat you up when you show up and give them these. Good job, babe. You’re gonna earn yourself a fan club.”

  I roll my eyes at his retreating back and stand awkwardly in his hallway until he returns with a twelve pack of beers.

  “You’ve catered for the females and I,” he waves the booze in my face, “have catered for the blokes. Good teamwork, babe.”

  “I also have something for CJ in my back pocket. He likes cars right?”

  “Are you trying to steal my favourite uncle job?”

  I chuckle, “Nope. But kids can be a tough gig. You’ve gotta bribe them to like you.”

  “True enough,” he replies, grabbing his phone and keys and leading me towards the front door.

  “I can’t wait for you to meet Ivy and Arty,” he says as he pulls open the door and steps out into the sunshine.

  “Maybe we could fly out for a week and visit them once the film wraps up.”

  We still haven’t talked about what’s going to happen between us and I want him to know what we have isn’t going to end just because our jobs have.

  He stops abruptly and spins around to face me.

  “You’d come with me to Ibiza?”

  “I come with you anywhere,” I say with a wink.

  “Be serious for a second, Phillips.” He only calls me that when he’s trying to talk about something important. “Because if you are, I’ll book our flights as soon as this horrendous barbeque is over.”

  “Book them. In fact, why don’t we have a week there with your brother and his kids, then do some island hopping?”

  A breath-taking smile covers his face, and he replies, “This may be the wrong time to say this when I’m about to take you into the lion’s den and offer you up as a sacrificial lamb, but I’m in love with you, Flynn Phillips. Completely, crazily and absolutely in love.”

  Gob. Smacked.

  We’ve never said those words to each other. We may have shown them with actions, and we may have made love and not fucked, but the actual words have never been spoken.

  His admission, that one four letter word has stolen all of mine.

  “It’s okay, you don’t need to say it back, and I shouldn’t have caught you off guard in the middle of the street when your hands are full of flowers, but fuck, I couldn’t help myself. It’s the story of my life with you.”

  He leans in, lifting up on his tiptoes so as not to crush the flowers I have held in my arms and kisses me softly and sweetly before turning and making his way down the street to Jake’s house.

  I manage to get my feet to work and follow him in a daze.

  Isaac Fox just admitted to being in love with me, and all I could do was stand there mute.

  “Hey, Iz. Everyone’s out the back, go straight through.”

  A tall, stunning woman a little younger than me with long caramel hair and beautiful aquamarine eyes hugs Isaac and places a soft kiss to his cheek. As soon as she spots me, she smiles and her entire face lights up. She’s familiar, and I realise it’s because I’ve seen her in magazines with Jake. She runs a high profile charity that she started from scratch and was recently awarded Woman of the Year in some TV awards ceremony. Emma Fox, Jake’s wife.

  “Hey Flynn, I’m so glad you could come. Mum is going to eat you up.”

  “Your parents are here too?”

  How many people am I meeting today?

  Isaac laughs and steps back so Emma can hug me and I stand there, arms outstretched with a bouquet of flowers in each hand. She hugs me tight and chuckles against my chest as Isaac explains, “My mother likes collecting strays. First, she took in Harry, and I expect you’ll meet him soon. Then Em here. She’ll have you calling her Mum before you know it.”

  “Don’t worry,” Emma says releasing me and lightly patting me on the chest. “She’s going to love you.”

  And there’s that four letter word again. I know Isaac hears it because he locks his eyes with mine and smiles.

  “Thanks, for inviting me. These are for you,” I ramble, practically thrusting a bouquet in Emma’s face.

  This is what happens when I’m in uncomfortable situations. I ramble and lose all my social skills. Isaac thinks my little nervous quirk is hilarious.

  “Thanks, you didn’t have to, but I love flowers. Once upon a time, Jake would send me dozens and dozens of beautiful arrangements. Since this film started, I think he’s forgotten. They’re gorgeous, thank you.”

  “Did I just hear my name being taken in vain?” Jake appears over Isaac’s shoulder, and Emma spins around to show him the bouquet in her arms.

  “Flynn brought me flowers. I was just telling him how long it’s been since I received any.” Her smile is serene, but the glint in her eyes is teasing.

  “Way to show us all up, Phillips,” he grumbles, earning him a pat to the face from Iz as he steps around him and says, “It’s not like he had to try too hard to do that, is it brother.”

  Jake just huffs, then leans forward to claim his wife’s free hand.

  “Do you need me to buy you flowers, Emmy? Because I’ll buy you the whole bloody florists if you promise I can tease Iz about his boyfriend in front of Mum and Dad.”

  “Jake,” she warns. “Play nice. You don’t have to take Harry’s place just because you haven’t seen him for a few months. You’re a grown up now, with a kid, remember?”

  He pouts like a child and opens his mouth to protest, but she silences him with a kiss before laughing and dragging him into the house. She glances back at me over her shoulder and says, “I bet you didn’t know your director was a big baby when he doesn’t get his way.” Then she adds, “Come on in. I’ll protect you. You’re safe with me.”

  Iz did warn me that his family was a little full on, and having not been a functioning part of mine for so long, I kind of like all the banter and teasing. It’s what a family should be. Good-natured, fun and most of all accepting. And right now, I feel like I’ve been accepted.

  Just the folks to go.

  Feeling a little lighter, I follow them into the house and close the door behind me. Their place is twice the size of mine but has the same period features, albeit on a grander scale. As I walk down the large hallway, I notice another difference. My rented house just down the road is a place to sleep after a long day, but this place, it’s a home. Family pictures decorate a low sideboard, and a toy box sits in the alcove under the stairs. Every inch has been touched by this family in some way, even though they haven’t been here that long and don’t plan to stay.

  I want that.

  Today I turn twenty-eight years old, and it’s the first time I’ve wanted to be part of a family. I know my parents are still alive, and I’m determined to work on getting back the relationship we once had, a relationship that disintegrated in grief.

  Would my parents accept my relationship with Isaac? After everything that happened with Clark, would they be happy that their previously, committedly straight son had found happiness with another man? My chest aches with the thought.

  Soon. I tell myself. That’s something to work out with Isaac in the near future, but not now. Today is about Isaac and his family, not me and mine.

  I follow the sound of voices and laughter and emerge onto a large patio. A child’s paddling pool sits on the grass, filled to the brim with inflatables, a small boy with dark hair splashes away happily in the water.

  “Here he is,” Isaac walks up to my side and takes my free hand in his.

  “Mum, Dad, this is Flynn Phillips. Flynn, these are my parents, you already know Jake and Em, and the rugrat in the pool is Caleb James or CJ for short.”

  I smile nervously before walking up to the strikingly attractive older woman that I now know is Isaac and Jake’s mother.

  “It’s lovely to meet you f
inally. I hope you like flowers.”

  She stands as I approach and wraps me in a warm hug.

  “I love flowers,” she speaks into my ear, giving me one last squeeze before taking the bouquet from my hand and bringing it to her nose.

  “Once upon a time my husband would buy me flowers almost daily,” she raises an eyebrow at the man across the table who looks a lot like Isaac and a little like Jake. “Then, when one of my boys wanted something or were trying to cover up mischief, they’d pick flowers from the garden and present them to me, hoping to buy my favour or forgiveness.” She looks into my face and smiles. “It’s good to receive flowers from a handsome man with no secret agenda.”

  I glance awkwardly to the side and find everyone quietly watching our interaction and then decide to man up and put my balls on the line.

  “Oh, but I do have an agenda,” I say while offering up a nervous smile.

  “You do?” She smiles back at me knowingly.

  Raising my voice slightly, but not before making eye contact with Isaac, I speak to Mrs Fox while looking at the man who moments again declared his love for me.

  I nod, “Yes. I’m seeking permission to date your son.”

  She laughs lightly, a teasing glint in her eyes and replies, “Jake? Oh, my sweet man, he’s already married. I couldn’t allow you to date him.”

  A huff of air slips past my lips at her mirth. “Isaac,” I enunciate the two syllables of his name with a loud, clear voice. “I’d like permission to take him away for a few months, and then, when we come back, I’d like permission to move in with him.”

  Isaac’s mouth gapes, opening and closing comically like a fish gasping for air.

  “Well, my dear,” she says cupping my cheek and encouraging me to face her. “I think, judging by the look on my son’s face, you don’t need my permission. He’d love to go away with you, and maybe if you ask him without an audience, he’ll even agree to move in with you. God knows, his father and I have been trying to get him out of our place for years.”

  With that, she places a swift kiss to my cheek and sits back down next to Isaac’s smiling father. I hear Isaac groan before saying, “Why can’t you be like other mothers?” And then he’s next to me, clasping my hand tightly in his. He doesn’t say anything about what I just declared to his entire family, he just guides me to our seats, never letting go of his grip, even when we sit.

  “Oh,” Emma calls out abruptly as the conversations around us continue. “I picked up that thing for you, Iz. Let me go and get it from the kitchen.”

  Moments later she returns with a beautifully decorated birthday cake, the iced dedication surrounded by an army of tall candles. She sets the cake before me and I look down to see the words ‘Happy Birthday, Killer’ in royal blue icing.

  “How did you? When did you…?” I stutter out, turning to look at the man at my side.

  “I have my sources,” Isaac replies before winking at Jake. He turns his smiling face to mine before placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

  “Happy Birthday, babe. I think it’s time you celebrated it again.”

  Emotion chokes up in my throat, and I’m unable to speak as I look back down at the cake. Around the edge of the piped icing is a circle of small anchors. This cake may be for me, but he hasn’t forgotten the other important person with whom I share this day. Clark. The cake may not say his name, but I know it is meant for him too. A way to help me celebrate his life with happiness and not regret.

  I say my thank you with my eyes and my touch, squeezing his hand so tightly that I swear I feel his bones creak. I’m unable to speak, fearful that the powerful emotions overtaking me will have me spilling out my feelings in front of his family. I can’t let that happen, not out of embarrassment but because the first time I tell this amazing man I love him, I want us to be one. I want to be buried so deep inside him that he has no doubt that I belong to him and him to me.

  “Blow out the candles and make a wish,” Isaac whispers low enough that only I hear.

  I glance back to the cake, then lift my eyes up and gaze at the people surrounding me. Each smiling face is open, everyone around this table welcoming me into their lives and their family with no expectations. They accept me and the role I have in their loved one’s life. It’s then, during the deep, shaky breath I take to blow out the tiny flames that I understand something for the first time. The words of Isaac’s tattoo flash into my mind. Acceptance is serenity. It’s happiness, it’s understanding, it’s faith in yourself and others. It’s knowing that you can’t change the past, but you can choose your future.

  Acceptance is love.

  The energy in the air on the last day of shooting is voltaic. It ripples over everything in electrifying, thrilling waves.

  With roughly three hours left until dawn, we need to nail these last shots above ground before the sun burns away the darkness. The old bunker I found weeks before is concealed in the earth at our feet. I’m unable to stay and watch these scenes as it’s my job to head over to the river that borders this property and prep for the very last shots.

  In just a few hours’ time, Feyness will be in the bag. Then final edits will begin making it perfect before its planned release early next year.

  I stare wistfully at the actors taking their places, watching Flynn in character is my second most favourite thing to do. My most favourite is having him in my bed. With one last look, I turn and make my way towards the opposite end of this massive field, the grass long and undisturbed as per Jake’s orders. He wants to preserve the area as much as possible, despite the large amounts of equipment we have to bring with us, he promised the landowner that by the time we finished, he wouldn’t even know we’d been here.

  Yeah, he doesn’t like to make anything easy for himself.

  When I arrive at the river bank, I run through everything with the stunt director, checking the angles for shooting and making sure that everything will translate onto film.

  This is it. The end of the summer. But not the end of us.

  The day we left Jake and Emma’s, Flynn having been accepted fully as part of the Fox tribe, we’d gone straight back to my place, and before I dragged Flynn to my bed, I’d sat and booked our flights and accommodation for Ibiza. Then I took my man to bed and thoroughly wished him a very happy birthday with my hands, mouth and cock and in return he finally told me the words I already knew.

  “I love you, Iz.”

  I still haven’t informed Josh of our plans. I figured with the way he’s been it’ll be better just to turn up and bypass his annoyance.

  Nate, my eldest brother and Liv, his long-term girlfriend, have seen Josh and the kids quite a lot. One of Nate’s biggest nightclubs is on the island, and Josh and the kids have been staying at Nate’s home there, so whenever Nate stays on business, they get to spend time together. Nate has reported back to the family that not a lot has changed with Josh. He’s still buried under his grief and anger.

  If I were a religious man, I would pray for him. Pray that he can move on with life for his sake and the kids.

  Seeing Flynn, seeing how he’s finally come to terms with his brother’s loss, gives me hope for Josh. I just pray it doesn’t take him ten years to find the peace and acceptance that Flynn has found.

  “We all set?” Jake’s voice calls out, and I pop my head up over the craggy side of the river bank to watch the entire cast and crew head in this direction.

  Giving him the thumbs up, I almost lose my footing on the muddy ground and hear loud laughter and a few snickers. When I brace myself on my hands and knees, my camera dangles precariously around my neck a little too close to the water, and I feel a strong arm wrap around my bicep before I’m hauled up the steep slope and settled on the flat ground.

  “Fancying an early morning swim?” Flynn’s bloody and scarred face grins down at me. God, I love how he looks when he’s filming. No, not the fake scars or the gore and blood, it’s the life in his eyes that has me hardening in my shorts.

&nb
sp; “Only if we’re skinny dipping.” I grin back, his obvious enthusiasm contagious and highly addictive.

  “Hmm, sounds fun with a smaller audience. How about you warm the hot tub up for our last night in Cardiff?”

  I don’t get to answer with an affirmative because Callie, Jake’s young production assistant calls out, “All principals on set.”

  “Go get ‘em, Killer,” I say, with a slap to Flynn’s bicep.

  He waggles his eyebrows at me before jogging away, and I get to do my second favourite thing: watch my man in action.

  Later that night, we celebrate by skinny dipping in the hot tub. The logistics of sex in water, especially when lube is a necessary part, are too much for Flynn and his rabid libido. Growling with frustration, he gathers me up in his strong arms as if I weigh no more than a feather and positions me bent over the small bistro table.

  With nimble fingers and drugging strokes, he works me, opening me up for him, bringing me to the edge.

  Then, when I’m begging for him, pleading for him to take me, he plunges himself deep inside and doesn’t hold back.

  Owning.

  Claiming.

  Marking.

  Loving.

  Making us one.

  When he collapses on top of me, both of us replete, the small table groaning under our combined weight, he kisses his way across the tattoo on my shoulders and says, “You’ve given me this. You’ve given me everything, and now I’m going to do all I can to give you the world.”

  Feyness Premiere, Leicester Square, London.

  Flashlights dazzle creating a blur of light. The roar of a crowd echoes into the night, the combination of both enough to have me tightly gripping the hand that holds mine, a fake smile plastered on my face.

  “Flynn, Flynn! Over here. Can you tell me why you decided to come out?”

  “What’s it like to be openly gay in a masculine industry?”

  “Are you both getting married, planning to adopt?”

  “Have you received any backlash from your fans?”

  The shouts and demands are deafening. Not one member of the press asks about the film, and it fucks me the hell off.