This Broken Beautiful Thing

by Summers, Sophie

  “Dad…I’m not going to explain the details, it just happened okay.” I tell him.

  “Who’s the father and when am I going to meet him?” He says sitting straighter running his hands through his hair looking older than his age.

  “He won’t be in the picture. He doesn’t want the baby …or me.” I tell him sadly trying to keep the tears that are building up from spilling, I’m done crying over Caleb. After tonight Caleb will no longer take up my thoughts.

  “What?” my dad asks in disbelief looking bath and forth between us. “I’m going to fucking kill him for doing this! Who is this kid? How long have you known him and why doesn’t he want to be part of your child’s life?” He yells making me flinch and Jace tense beside me as he squeezes my hand a little tighter.

  “You don’t know him, I’ve known him most of my life but we were dating for four years. He’s found someone else, he’s with her now and there isn’t space for us, that’s why he doesn’t want this baby.” I say wiping a few tears.

  “Oh Harley, I’m so sorry.” Anna runs to my side and pulls me into a hug.

  She pulls away and I’m pulled into my father’s strong arms.

  “It’s okay baby girl, you don’t need him…I swear when I find out who he is, I’ll have a word with him about fatherhood. I’m not disappointed in you Harley, you’re going to be an amazing mother. I love you baby girl.” My dad says holding me tight talking into my hair.

  “Thanks dad, you’ll make an awesome granddaddy too.” I look up to him then look to Anna at my side and say, “…and you’ll be the coolest grandmother.” she smiles and pulls me from my father’s grip and hugs me again.

  CHAPTER 8

  To say I was surprised by my father’s reaction is an understatement, I was at least expecting to get lectured or yelled at... even if he’s never scolded me before. What I did not expect was how happy he looked at the thought of being a grandfather.

  It was only ten o’clock at night when we left the office. Jace walked with me out while my father and Anna stayed behind obviously to talk about the situation privately.

  Jace pulls me through the crowd and shields me from getting trampled on by the noisy crowd. Everyone at the club house is older than me, only club members were there and it wasn’t open to the public tonight so there weren’t any college students around like there usually is.

  “Jace, I think I’m just going to head off to bed…I’m really exhausted after today.” I tell him covering my mouth to yawn.

  He chuckles and brings me into his side again. “Let’s go then gorgeous.” He waves to his friends and leads me to the back stairs leading to the apartment above.

  I flop myself onto his bed too exhausted to change. I watch him as he starts to take his shirt off.

  “You can go back to your friends…you don’t have to babysit me.” I say leaning on my elbow watching him, he puts his arm back into his shirt and sits on the bed next to me.

  “I don’t mind babysitting you…” he says smiling at me as he lifts my feet to his lap and takes my shoes off.

  “No really Jace, I’m fine by myself besides… its early for you. I’ll be here when you get back.” I tell him sitting up.

  “Okay babe, get changed so I can tuck you in.” he says and I start giggling.

  “Really Jace? Tuck me in? Do you tell all the girls that?” I tease him through chuckles as I lean into my bag and find something to sleep in.

  “Only you Harley…” he mutters running his hands through his hair.

  I take out a pair of pajama shorts and put them on under my dress, I turn to see Jace watching me running his eyes over my body.

  “Jace turn around so I can put my shirt on.” I don’t want him to look at my body, a guy like him has definitely seen models naked and my body could never measure up to that. I’m not completely comfortable with my changing body at the moment and I would prefer if no one sees me naked.

  He laughs, “C’mon… there's nothing I haven’t seen before.” He teases making me feel uncomfortable under his lustful gaze.

  Jace is a gorgeous guy with sex appeal oozing from him, he must have hooked up with a harem of woman. I don’t think he realizes how inexperienced I really am... even if I am pregnant. There’s only one guy that’s seen me fully naked ever and I’m not the kind to strip in front of anyone.

  “Of course you’ve seen it all but you haven’t seen all of me, so turn Jace.” I say raising my eye brow making him sigh and turn his head as I quickly drop my dress, pull my bra off and slip my shirt on.

  I gently fold my clothes and place them neatly on the chair by his desk. I turn around to find Jace watching me intently, “Jace! Did you see? I told you not to watch!"

  He smirks at me and pulls me onto the bed. “You should know by now, I do whatever I want and I wanted to watch.” He says smiling down at me as he pulls open the covers for me.

  “Of course you are used to getting your way amongst the ladies.” I mutter to myself angrily as I get into bed folding my arms over my chest.

  Of course he hears me…

  “And why is that Harley?” he asks looking confused.

  “Really? You have to ask? I mean, look at yourself Jace, you’re hot and obviously girls follow your every command… but I think you confuse me for the type of girls that hang on your every word. I'm not like them, you should know that…so when I say don’t look when I’m getting dressed, I mean it.” I turn around to avoid looking at his face.

  He jumps over me then lies on top of the blanket next to me, he places his head on the pillow so that we are on the same eye level as he says, “You’re right…girls usually listen to what I say. I know you’re not like them…” he lifts a piece of my hair and places it behind my ear.

  “You are so much better baby, I know I should have listened and I don’t know why you are so self-conscious about your body. You think I’m hot? Babe you’re gorgeous…even with that little baby bump. I know you’re a stubborn girl and you like getting your way just like I do but you need to know, as long as you stay here? I will be the one that protects you, you need to get used to how the men of this club treat their woman and how the woman listen.” I try to interrupt him but he placed his hand over my mouth.

  “We just want what’s best for you Harley and I know your father is wrapped around your little finger so he doesn’t care whether you listen to him or not when your mind is set on something. That’s why from now on while you are here, you will listen to me. Yes, I like my woman to do as I say and even though I’ve been sweet and kind to you, don’t take that as who I am…because it’s not! I do things how I want and when I want and I want you and that baby safe. If I want to look at you while you’re getting changed, so be it, I will never hurt you and I will always want what’s best for you. Ever since the accident, I have this overwhelming need to keep you both safe and protected, you need to know I am a very possessive man that’s why your father knows you are safe with me. I fucking rage when people don’t do what they’re told…you don’t want to see me angry Harley.” Jace says in a harsher tone.

  I’m left speechless, I’ve only ever met the happy loving Jace, I’ve never seen him so uptight and serious, it scares me. This boldness was what I expected to come from Jace from the moment I saw him. This attitude fits him, he’s a big masculine guy covered in tattoos, he’s beautiful yet bad and it's fucking scary! I guess I just warmed up to him being a big cuddly teddy bear but I was wrong…so wrong.

  “Do you understand what I just said?” he asks me, I nod and close my eyes. I’m not used to being told what to do by a man, I guess by no one really, my mother wasn’t exactly the strict type and well... I wasn’t around my father long enough for him to actually parent. It’s not like I was a troubled mischievous child, so there wasn’t really a need for me to be lectured. I don’t appreciate the way Jace is belittling me but I’m too scared to say or do anything else besides act like he isn’t there and hopefully he’ll leave. Caleb and his friends used to make s
ure no one bothered me so I’ve kind of had a sheltered life up until now…guess that’s all going to change.

  Jace kisses my forehead and rubs my baby bump saying goodnight to the baby before he leaves the room putting off the light. I find it kind of cute apart from the fact that he went all cave man on me minutes before.

  I lay there for a few more minutes listening to the bass from the music playing in the bar downstairs as it vibrates off the floor and windows. I find the sound comforting and fall into a deep sleep.

  CHAPTER 9

  I wake up a few hours later when someone’s arm wraps around me pulling me into their warm bare chest. I immediately know its Jace when he places his warm hand on my belly under my shirt and rubs it gently. I hear him let out a deep breath as I place my hand over his, he gently laces our fingers together. If it was any other person I’d be very uncomfortable by this gesture but with Jace I feel content and safe.

  “I’m sorry if I scared you.” He says in a gruff voice against my ear sending chills down my spine, I can tell he just got out of the shower by smelling his minty breath and his fresh body wash that still lingers on his skin. I don’t respond just nod my head. What am I supposed to say? It’s okay? Because that wasn’t okay! He scared me…

  “I want you and the baby safe… I know you haven't seen me so serious before but it’s who I am, I’m not the sweet guy you thought I was and I needed you to know that even if you bring out the child in me, I'm not that person and I never will be Harley. I will never hurt you intentionally but I am dangerous and if anyone fucks with what’s mine I will destroy them. I get what I want and all I want is to keep you guys safe, so if scaring you into listening to me does the job? I’ll do it. I apologize for watching you but you I didn’t think it was such a big deal. I’ve been thinking about how you looked under those clothes since I met you and I needed to see, I want you to trust me to look and not touch. I was just pissed off because I’ve never been chastised for wanting to look before and you caught me off guard.” He explains.

  I’m still stuck on the part where he said he’s been thinking about how I looked under my clothes, eventually I respond, “I'm not as open with people looking at my body as other girls are, especially now that my body is… changing. Caleb is the only guy that’s ever seen me naked, I trust you Jace but I don’t feel comfortable with you looking…” I whisper.

  I feel him move as he sits up and leans on his elbow looking down at me as he asks in shock, “You’ve only had sex with one guy?” I turn to look at him.

  “Of course! I’ve been with him for four years. I haven’t been single long enough to have sex with other guys…it’s always been Caleb.” I say looking at him. I can't see him fully in the dark but I can see his glistening eyes.

  “Damn Harley you are just as innocent as you look, doing the same guy for four years? Don’t it get boring?” he asks seriously and I start laughing.

  "Jace!” I slap his arm. “Haven’t you ever been in a relationship? Technically I wasn’t doing him for four years, I lost my virginity to him at sixteen and no it wasn’t boring. It was beautiful and exciting, wouldn’t you prefer to be with the same girl you know hasn’t been around rather than sleep with random chicks that have already been taken by the whole club?” I cringe outwardly and he chuckles.

  "Being intimate with one person isn’t always boring, it’s exhilarating and it makes you connect on a whole other level, you teach each other new things and show them what you like.” I laugh and shake my head. “Okay…. I guess for you it’s easy to pick up chicks but imagine not having to go through the effort of finding a girl to hook up with because you already have someone at home waiting for you and no one else?” I look at him as he watches me intently taking in what I’m saying. I can't believe I’m being this open with him, usually I’m too shy to talk about this stuff but he already knows my secrets and I can open up so easily with him.

  He laughs and falls back down on the bed resting his head on his folded arms as he looks up to the ceiling. I lie on my stomach and look at him as he talks.

  "I’ve never really thought of it like that before. You are right though... I would rather be with someone that hasn’t been with the entire club and isn’t sleeping with other guys while hooking up with me. Fuck… that just grosses me out! Look what you’ve done, now every time I look at those girls I’m going to wonder how many guys she’s hooked up with.” He lets out a deep breath then settles back into bed and continues. “I’ve never dated girls before, it’s always been about sex and I’m clean I swear, I always get checked out. Yeah it’s not really an effort for me to get the girls, I mean the sluts here so desperately want to be part of this club that they will do anything to get in but they don’t realize that the guys will never make any of them their old lady. I get what you're saying though about coming home to someone waiting just for you, I guess that would be nice.” He says softly as he smiles deep in thought. “I still can’t believe you’ve only ever had sex with that asshole, aren’t you the least bit interested in feeling how it is with someone else? You know everyone is different and has their own...techniques? Holy shit! Is he the only guy you’ve seen naked? You must have done other stuff with guys before him at least?” he asks excitedly as if hearing this from a girl is news to him.

  I laugh, thankful the room is dark because I’m blushing so hard my cheeks are burning red.

  “Gosh… I can’t believe I’m talking about this with you Jace…Yes! He’s the only guy I’ve seen naked and no I never touched anyone before Caleb. I never really thought about having sex with anyone else while I was with him but now... I suppose? I don’t know!” I cover my face full of embarrassment. “I guess now that we’re not together I wonder how it would be with someone else and maybe he felt the same, that’s why he slept with Ashley, maybe he was thinking the same thing? I was the only girl he’s ever had sex with too. Shit…maybe he was bored with me, I never thought of that! Shit…argh…whatever…” I shake my head trying to get the images out of my mind.

  “No, don’t think like that, it’s his loss remember that. He’s missing out on a good thing babe. You are really innocent but that’s good! I like that.” he says as he pulls me closer to him and kisses my head, I wrap my arm over his ripped stomach and rest my head on his chest.

  “Okay enough talk about me, how about you, how many chicks have you had sex with? How old where you your first time?” I change the topic.

  “My first time? Well I don’t remember much because I was so pissed but I think I was fifteen. I looked much older though and I got a fake ID, snuck into a club with my mates. I don’t know her name but she was much older than I, could’ve been in her thirty's, late twenty’s? Anyways it was in the back of her car, I don’t think it was that great because I don’t remember all the details and I can't even tell you how many chicks I’ve been with since because I really lost count.” He chuckles as if this pleases him and I laugh.

  “You hoe! You lost your virginity to an old woman in a car! How is that even possible?” I say shocked. When Caleb and I had sex it was always in a bed under the covers and that was because he liked it that way. Of course I knew people had sex all over the place but it never happened to me.

  “Baby? You’ve never had sex in a car? Have you ever done it in any other place beside a bed?” he asks amused by my lack of knowledge.

  “This conversation is over! This is getting way too detailed." I quickly turn around and lie on the pillow out of his grasp too embarrassed by my inexperience to reply to his question.

  “Fuck! You’ve only ever had sex in a bed?” he teases and chuckles as he leans his chin on my shoulder looking down at me. “What is wrong with that kid? You still have so much to learn babe.” He says as he cuddles me.

  “Yeah okay…I’ve only ever done it in a bed. He was always afraid people would catch a glimpse of me and he didn’t want them to see me that way so we would always wait till we were home in a bed. Maybe I do still have a lot to experience and learn�
�I don’t know, I really don’t think anyone's going to want a single mother Jace so I don’t think I will have much to worry about in that department.” I laugh it off even though the thought of being alone the rest of my life hurts.

  "Babe you are crazy! You’re beautiful and the fact that you doing this all on your own just shows what an amazing person you are. There’s going to be plenty of guys after for you.” He whispers back rubbing my tummy.

  “Thanks….Jace?”

  “Yeah baby?” he says in that sexy deep voice.

  “Remember earlier today you said you’re going to be sleeping next to me even when I move to the other room?” I ask him thinking about it.

  “Yeah and I am, you don’t have a say in this Harley.” He says with the same tone he used earlier on me.

  “I know and I don’t mind, I enjoy knowing you’re next to me when I sleep but I wanted to know… why do you want to sleep by me?” I ask him.

  “Harley…when you are next to me I can sleep easy. You see, the things I’ve done and the people I’ve hurt haunt me and before you came I was unable to sleep more than three hours without waking up from the dreams. I see their faces in my sleep so I prefer no sleep at all. I basically lived on energy drinks and coffee because of the insomnia. That first night you were here, your father told me to keep you in my room because he didn’t want any of the other guys trying something with you before he introduced you to them. To be honest, I didn’t want to sleep next to you but when Grimm tells you to do something - you do it, no questions asked. I was afraid of waking up during one of my dreams and scared I might frighten you, I didn’t want you to see that. That night was the first night I’ve had a full nights rest in years and I knew it was because I had you beside me. That’s why I’m going to be sleeping next to you from now on. I don’t want to have those dreams Harley, I hate them.” He says sadly with a muffled voice as if he’s close to tears. I slowly turn around to face him and sure enough his eyes are shiny. Those dreams must be terrible for it to affect him this way.