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D, My Name Is Danita

Page 7

by Norma Fox Mazer


  “Your father is the one my grandparents didn’t like,” D.T. said.

  I almost shook my finger in his face. That proved how off base he was. Everyone liked Daniel Merritt. Everyone!

  “So what do you think?” he said. “You want to say anything? Say something, Dani. I thought you’d be glad.”

  Just then, I realized I was reading the sign wrong. It was IN CASH WE TRUST.

  “Dani, would you look at me? Aren’t you going to say anything?”

  Sure I’ll say something. You’re crazy, D.T. I’m sorry to say it, because you’re a nice guy, but this is out and out nuts. It’s something you made up to make yourself feel better. I know you want to find your father, but you can’t just pick one out of thin air.

  “Remember, I told you my mom told me the whole story, Dani? Ever since then, I wanted to meet him. She told me when I was thirteen. Your age.”

  “I’m almost fourteen,” I said.

  D.T. laughed. “Dani, that’s not the point. Are you paying attention?”

  “Don’t talk to me like that.” I felt irritable suddenly. My whole good mood had evaporated. “If this is true, how come your name isn’t Merritt?”

  “Goodman is my mother’s name.… Dani, come on, you can believe me; it’s not like the world just split apart.”

  My chest was tight and heavy inside. I coughed, trying to clear something out. Maybe I was getting a cold. Maybe it had been stupid to run in the rain and get overheated. Maybe I should go home and get into bed and forget D.T., forget the movies and Jon, forget everything! Just get into bed and let my mother bring me tea and toast on a tray.

  “Dani, I’m not blaming him. I’m not here to get anything from him. That’s not what you think, is it?”

  “Were you the wrong numbers?” I said suddenly, remembering all the phone calls. “Someone kept calling and saying it was a wrong number and asking questions about—it was you, wasn’t it?”

  D.T. nodded.

  “That was sneaky, D.T.! You got me to talk and say things!”

  He looked hurt. “I didn’t think you’d react this way. I called to talk to him, but then you answered.”

  “And you followed me, didn’t you!? In the mall, you bumped right into me; you must have been following me.”

  “That was a coincidence. Like you and your girlfriend coming to Star. That was pretty funny. When I saw you walking in that day, I thought, Wow, this really is fate!”

  “What about being across the street from our house? And how about last week when I saw you jogging on our street? That wasn’t fate, that was you!”

  “Last week, when you were with him?”

  “Yes, I was with my father. Why didn’t you stop and say something to us? That was a perfect opportunity, wasn’t it?”

  “I chickened out.” D.T. made a face. “I wanted to see him so much, and there he was, and then I just kept going.” He shrugged. “I admit it, I got scared. Maybe I shouldn’t have done things the way I did, Dani. But I didn’t mean anything wrong by it.” He stood up and put money down on the counter. “I want to talk some more, but I should get back to work.”

  I sat there. “You didn’t have to come here,” I said. “All the way across the country—what good is it?”

  He gave me another hurt look. “Dani, doesn’t it mean anything to you that I’m your brother?”

  “Half brother,” I said. “If you are.”

  “I am.”

  “Anybody could just say what you’re saying, D.T.”

  “Maybe. But I’m telling the truth. Why are you so upset?”

  “Because it’s my father,” I almost shouted at him. “You’re saying things about my father!” Tears rushed into my eyes.

  “My mother said I shouldn’t push it.” D.T. sat down again. “She didn’t want me to come. She said I didn’t know what I’d find. But I’m stubborn. It’s not a whim that I’m here! I left school. I left my friends. I’m working at a dinky job, I’m living in a dinky room.”

  I pressed a napkin against my lips.

  He took a picture from his wallet. “This is my mother, Dani.” It showed D.T.—younger, wearing baggy, flowered shorts and holding a baseball glove, standing next to a tall woman in a pink dress with her arm around his shoulders. They were both smiling.

  I thought about the stories I’d heard all my life about my birth. How I’d been a preemie, so tiny, no bigger than a thumbnail, kept in an isolette, how even when they took me home I’d been small enough to fit into my father’s palm. I’d been first. That’s what I’d always thought. First daughter. Firstborn.

  “How much did you weigh when you were born?” I said.

  “Nine pounds. Why?”

  “I don’t know, I just wondered. I was a preemie.”

  “My mother says all she did was eat while she was pregnant. And cry.”

  “Nine pounds? I weighed less than a loaf of bread.”

  He put the picture back into his wallet. “I want to talk to you some more, Dani. When can we talk?”

  I didn’t answer him. I jumped off the stool and walked out, almost ran down the broad mall corridor. But then, just before the door, I turned and looked back and saw D.T. starting down the stairs. And I noticed again that funny way he had of sort of listing to one side when he walked. My brother … Was he really my father’s son? Was he really my brother?

  Chapter 22

  “I hope Geo’s skinny,” Laredo said for about the fourth time since we’d entered the lobby of the movie theater. People kept coming in, pushing through the doors, meeting and greeting each other. “I hope he turns out to be one of those bony, romantic types with a lot of cheekbone. Maybe a dimple in his chin.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “You’re quiet tonight.”

  “I am?”

  “Don’t worry about Jon. You’re going to do fine, Dani!”

  I wasn’t worrying about Jon. He hardly even seemed real to me just then. D.T., though—he was real. What if I said to Laredo, I have a brother.… You think it’s only coincidence D.T. and I have almost the same first names? Would Laredo laugh and tell me I had a great imagination?

  “Dani, look!” She clutched my arm. A tall, skinny, good-looking guy had just walked in. “That’s him.” She gave him a big smile, and he came right over to us. “Geo?” she said.

  “No, it’s Andy,” he said. “Will that do?”

  “Sorry, wrong number,” Laredo said. The boy laughed and walked away.

  A moment later I noticed a husky boy wearing a blue nylon jacket. He had a round face with bright red cheeks. His hair was cut short and straight, and he wore nerdy black sneakers. He was standing in the middle of the lobby, looking sort of lost.

  “Laredo,” I said, “over there. That’s him. That’s Geo.”

  “No,” she said. “No, no, no. Definitely not.”

  “Yes. I have an instinct. It’s him. Want me to ask?” I walked over to him. “Geo?”

  “Laredo? Great!” He shook my hand excitedly.

  His hand was like a nice, hot roll. I liked him right away. He was the kind of boy you feel comfortable with, a sort of Saint Bernard boy, the kind that would make a fine brother.

  The moment I thought it, my heart pumped crazily. Was D.T. my brother or wasn’t he? Why didn’t I just know? Why did I have the instinct to pick out Geo from the whole crowd in the lobby and yet not be sure about D.T.? If he was my brother, wouldn’t I feel something special, something more than just friendship for him?

  Geo was still holding my hand. “Geo, I’m Dani Merritt,” I said. “I’m Laredo’s friend. That’s her over there.”

  “Dani, I know about you! Laredo talks about you all the time.” He bounded over to Laredo, and they started shaking hands. “Laredo, do I look the way you expected?” he asked.

  She coughed. “Oh, I didn’t have too much of a fixed image, Geo.”

  Geo went off to buy popcorn. Laredo said that maybe the two of them ought to go in and get seats for all of us. “And leave me o
ut here alone?” I said.

  “Look at the crowd, Dani. If we don’t go in, you and Jon might not even get seats.”

  I watched her and Geo disappear. The lobby emptied out. Suddenly a girl with a long black braid came rushing in, ran up to a boy—the only other person waiting, besides me—and kissed him on the mouth.

  What if Jon wanted to kiss me? Was there some sort of a signal I should be watching for? In the movies, you could tell when people wanted to kiss by the way they swayed toward each other with their lips puckered up and quivering. It always sent chills through my stomach. But I’d never thought before about when to sway or who swayed first.

  The usher closed the doors to the theater. Now, nobody was in the lobby except me and the woman behind the popcorn counter.

  “Miss, the movie’s started.”

  “I’m waiting for a friend.”

  Was he a friend? He was hardly even an acquaintance. Was waiting for him silly? How did I know he’d even show up? I didn’t. Maybe it was all a big joke to him. Maybe he’d stopped by our table in the cafeteria just to tease me. What if his boyfriends had been watching? Did Shirley know about this, too? What if they’d all cooked up a scheme to teach me a lesson, to put me in my place, to make me remember I was the bottom rung on the ladder?

  My face was hot. Go in, I told myself. You don’t have to stand here and wait for him. You’ve waited long enough.

  I didn’t move. Jon had said he’d meet me here, and I was going to wait until he did, even if it meant waiting all night. I remembered D.T. saying he was stubborn. Maybe I was, too. Did that make us siblings? Two stubborn people?

  Then Jon came in. He pushed through the doors swiftly, like the girl with the black braid, only he didn’t rush up and kiss me. Instead, he slowed down and stared. “Dani?” he said.

  Who did he expect?

  “You’re still here,” he said.

  No kidding.

  “I’m late because my mother needed the car tonight, so she had to drive me, and then we had a flat tire.”

  Flat tire? The oldest excuse in the world! Why didn’t he tell the truth, just say he didn’t want to come? Probably his mother’d had to push him out the door.

  “Flat as a pancake,” he said. “Look at this.” He held out his hands for inspection. They didn’t look so awful. He could have rubbed that little bit of dirt on them himself.

  We went into the theater. It was packed and dark. I didn’t know where Laredo was. Jon and I sat down in the back row. “Do you know what’s going on?” he whispered. On the screen, a girl behind a counter was selling a record to a boy. “Maybe we can figure it out together,” he said, and he squeezed my hand.

  I shivered. Maybe he really did have a flat tire.

  I think the movie was good, but I’m not sure. Half the time Jon’s arm was over the back of my seat. Between that and thinking of D.T., I had trouble concentrating.

  When the lights came on, Jon said, “So, that’s that.” It was like brushing his hands off, or flicking away an insect. Did that mean he’d done his duty and now he could leave?

  I looked around for Laredo and saw her and Geo way down toward the front.

  Jon checked his watch. “My mother will be here in about twenty minutes.” He had a precise way of talking that I hadn’t noticed before. Well, how could I? I still hadn’t had more than five sentences worth of conversation with him.

  “She’ll drive you home, Dani, but we do have time for an ice cream before she gets here. Yes?”

  “Sure, but—” I pointed to Laredo. “My girlfriend—I’m sleeping over at her house.” I went down the aisle to meet Laredo.

  Geo said, “Dani!” like we were old friends, and he hugged me.

  “How’s it going?” Laredo said.

  “Pretty good. How about you?”

  “Great!”

  I told Laredo about Jon’s mother taking me home. “Geo and I are walking,” she said. So that was that.

  Jon and I went across the street to Westie’s. Jon studied the menu for a long time. “You know me and ice cream,” he said. So he did remember me coming into Ice Dreams! He ordered a strawberry banana split, and I ordered a dish of peach ice cream.

  “You’re a nice girl, Dani,” Jon said.

  “I am?” I could feel a silly smile spreading across my face. Why didn’t I just say thank you in a dignified way?

  The waitress brought the ice cream. Jon ate a crescent of banana. “It was nice of you to ask me to the movie. I almost didn’t accept, Dani, but you were very persuasive.”

  “I was?”

  “You seemed sure of yourself.”

  “I did?”

  “I was a little surprised because I didn’t, don’t, have that impression of you. But as I said, you persuaded me. And it was a good movie. And another thing, you waited for me, even though I was late. A lot of girls would have gotten mad.”

  Why was he telling me how nice I was? He was practically patting me on the head. I no sooner thought it than he did it. He leaned toward me, patted me on the head, and said, “I want to tell you something … I think I should tell you this.”

  Oh, no. I didn’t want to hear it. I knew what was coming. My instincts clicked into place.

  “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but Shirley Larkin and—you know Shirley, don’t you?”

  I nodded. “Greasepaint.”

  “Well, the deal is that Shirley and I are thinking seriously about going together.”

  “Going together?” I repeated faintly.

  “And we talked about you. And me going out with you.”

  Oh, no. I concentrated on taking tiny bites of the cold ice cream.

  “We’re seriously thinking of going steady,” he said again. “We don’t want you to get the wrong idea, that I’m, uh, boyfriend material.”

  “Boyfriend material,” I echoed.

  He leaned across the table, as if he were going to pat me on the head again.

  I sat back, out of reach. “I don’t have the wrong idea,” I said. A definite Major Fib. “I don’t think going steady is a good idea, though. I think we’re too young to go steady.”

  I got so unnerved when I heard what I’d said—we’re too young—that I knocked over my dish of ice cream.

  “Well, I wasn’t talking about you,” he said. “You’re too young, I agree.”

  I started scooping up blobs of melting peach ice cream with my fingers and dumping them back into the dish.

  “You’re not going to eat that, are you?” he said.

  “Maybe I am!” Why did I say that? I seemed to be completely out of control. “What I meant before was that people in our peer group are too immature to go steady.” Did I say that? Peer group? Immature? “Maybe I don’t know as much as you, but that’s my opinion. Besides, you’re not that much older than me.”

  “I’m seventeen,” he said.

  “I’m almost fourteen.”

  “At your age, I was a lot different. I definitely didn’t know much.”

  An answer was right there on the tip of my tongue. If you know so much now, why didn’t you tell me all this before you went to the movies with me? I grabbed a napkin and started wiping the table.

  “The waitress will clean that up,” Jon said, as if he’d been in a thousand different restaurants and a thousand different situations in his seventeen long years of life.

  I dropped the mess of napkins on top of the ice cream. Maybe I would have a heart attack now and be spared further humiliation. D.T. crept into my mind. He never patronized me. But how could I compare him and Jon? Jon was a romance, a crush, a disappointment of the heart! D.T. was … well, what was he? A man with a mission. My brother. My maybe brother.

  “You’ll see things differently, when you’re over being thirteen,” Jon was saying.

  Over being thirteen? Did he think it was a disease?

  “I guess we should go,” he said, standing up.

  When his mother came, Jon got right in the front seat next to h
er. The back seat for me. Was my heart broken? Yes. No! I couldn’t decide.

  Mrs. Haberle pulled up in front of Laredo’s house, and I stuck out my hand to Jon. “I enjoyed the evening,” I said. “And the talk. And I stick to what I said before,” I went on fast, before I lost my nerve. “You’re too young to go steady.”

  Boom! I was out of the car. I was gone. Jon was history.

  Chapter 23

  “Geo and I got along like bread and butter,” Laredo said, leaning on her elbow in the bed. “Or maybe like coffee and cake. I really think he likes me.”

  “Likes you, or just … likes you?” I said from the floor. I zipped the sleeping bag up a bit higher.

  “Likes me.”

  “Oh!”

  “He was very romantic during the movie … and afterward. He’s definitely a decent kisser.”

  “You kissed him? Isn’t that deceptive?”

  “Deceptive? Dani, why?”

  “Because you like him, but you don’t like him.”

  “Well … to be honest, you’re right. I don’t know how much I like him. He’s very cute, though … in a sort of chunky way. Anyway, he needs practice kissing.”

  “So you were being kind, giving him a helping hand—I mean, mouth?”

  “That’s the idea. My favorite charity. My contribution to a good cause.” She fell back, laughing. “I’m all heart! Did Jon kiss you? Did you kiss him?”

  “What was I supposed to do, lean over the front seat and kiss him under his mom’s nose? Anyway. I told you what he said about him and Shirley.”

  “It’s probably just as well you didn’t try anything. I bet ice cubes form on his lips when he kisses! Why did he have to tell you about Shirley Larkin? Just to make sure your heart was completely broken? What I can’t understand is why, when you called him—”

  “Laredo! I didn’t call Jon.”

  “—why, when a girl saying she was Dani Merritt called and asked him to go out, he agreed. I mean if he knew he was going steady with another girl—”

 

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