We've Only Just Begun

by Kathleen Ball

  Soon they had the Lewis wagon and the Motts’ on their way. Next up was Susan, and he wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it, but quick as lightening Clancy climbed up onto the wagon bench. He tried to wrestle the lines from Susan who seemed to be holding on for all she was worth. When that didn’t work he gave her a shove off the seat. She almost went tumbling to the ground but she managed to hold onto the side of the wagon and stay in her seat.

  “Hold up! Clancy get down from there and get your sorry behind back here and push. I’m out of patience with you.”

  “Doesn’t matter to me how you feel. You have it out for me,” Clancy griped.

  Mike would have to talk to Susan later. Clancy’s insolence couldn’t go unchallenged. He either needed to change his attitude or leave the wagon party. It wasn’t a talk Mike was looking forward to.

  Chapter Four

  Exhausted, beyond exhausted, barely able to move, were words that came to Susan’s mind. It had been a wet miserable day of listening to Clancy constantly whine. All day he complained and called Mike and his brothers names behind their backs. Every chance he got he pulled her down off the driver’s seat and took the seat for himself, telling her to walk.

  She didn’t mind the walking except for the mud trying to suck her shoes right off her feet. Mike, Eli, and Jed all minded. Clancy wasn’t available to help push wagons out of the mud if he was driving. There were men who had to drive, they didn’t have anyone else who could take over. She’d heard about each of them again and again from Clancy. Frankly, she was fed up with him but she wasn’t in a position to set him right.

  It was slow going but she did get a chance to visit with Savanna Mott while she walked beside the Mott wagon. Savanna was a lovely woman with good common sense. She too agreed that Susan was stuck in her pretend marriage until they reached Oregon. She also cautioned her to never be alone with him in case he decided to make the marriage real. So much easier said than done, but she’d be on her guard.

  Finally, Mike called out for them to circle the wagons. All she wanted to do was lie down and sleep, but the chores needed to be done, and Clancy would be of no help. How could she have misjudged him by so much? He had been such a different man in Independence. But there was no going back now. Susan caught up to her wagon, and discovered the oxen were still hitched. It wasn’t a surprise, but her shoulders slumped all the same.

  Slowly, she unhitched the lines, unyoked them and rubbed them down. Oxen were important. Without them, they’d never make it to Oregon. She wished she had time to check in on Natalie and Lily Lewis. How awful for them to have to go on without Mr. Lewis. But there simply wasn’t time for such calls today.

  Using some wood she had stashed in the wagon to keep it dry, she built their fire and started supper, including a couple extra batches of biscuits.

  Clancy had disappeared, and the quiet was a nice change. The way he’d treated her all day had been humiliating. She would bet she was the topic of conversation around many campfires tonight. Her face heated just thinking about it. Slowly, she turned her head this way and that to see the others and yes, she was being talked about. There were looks of pity but the laughter was the hardest to take. Why were some people just plain mean?

  The worst was a pretty woman named Connie. She had striking blond hair and green eyes, and she believed herself to be the envy of all women. She traveled with her father who everyone called Ranger. He was a decent enough fella, but his daughter flirted to no end with every man, married or not. Surprisingly, Connie had a group of friends. None of the married women wanted anything to do with her, but almost everyone’s daughter seemed to adore her.

  Connie sat on a stool surrounded by her friends, and they all erupted in laughter. Susan glanced their way and found them all staring at her. Several whispered behind their hands. All she could do was turn away. She’d grown up to be generous of spirit and didn’t understand people like Connie. Life was too hard, trying to survive and keep food on the table. Susan never had the luxury of gossiping nor did she want to.

  “Hello.” Mike’s voice came from next to her.

  She stood and shook her head. “You have to stop sneaking up on me.” She tried to smile but was too tired.

  “I have to search your wagon.”

  “Whatever for?” She frowned and tilted her head.

  He took a step closer to her. “I need to find all the whiskey and pour it out. I don’t allow drunkenness on the trail. I’ve looked the other way where Clancy was concerned, and it wasn’t right. It’s a dangerous enough trip without having a drunkard with us. He didn’t seem like a drinking man when he signed up.”

  “I thought the same when I married him. He’ll be angry.” She clasped her hands in front of her. Clancy was sure to trade her to Bart for more whiskey.

  “I’ll deal with him. Right now, I need to get rid of the liquor.”

  “I understand.” She watched as he climbed into the wagon. Her hands shook as she thought of the consequences she’d face. Mike was doing his job, but it put her in a hard place.

  A few minutes later, he exited the wagon with six full bottles and one half-full bottle in his arms. “Where is Clancy?”

  “I don’t know. By the time I caught up to the wagon, he’d left. The oxen were still hitched, but he was gone.” She took a deep breath. It was going to be one terrifying night.

  “I’ll stick close so I can talk to him when he returns.” He started to walk away but turned back toward her. “I’m sorry about this.”

  “He was so different, I don’t know what happened.” She couldn’t take the compassion in his eyes any longer. She stared at the ground instead.

  “I’ll get rid of these. Don’t worry.”

  Her pride was in tatters. Everyone felt pity for her, except for those who laughed. She’d felt alone plenty of times lately, but this time she felt more alone than ever. Clancy would be furious, and she’d pay the price.

  Sure enough, after dark, Clancy came stumbling toward the fire.

  “Where were you?” she asked.

  “Well, my pretty wife, there’s another wagon party not far from us. Got a ride with Ole Bart. We had a high old time.”

  “You’re drunk again,” she hissed.

  “Of course I am. They had a wagon filled with whores. These ladies were mighty fine and worth every cent.” He winked at her.

  She shuddered. His voice was so loud the whole camp probably heard him. “Keep your voice down.”

  “Why? You don’t want the good people to know you won’t allow me to touch you? They might not like the fact that you’re not doing your duty toward your husband. You are a poor excuse for a wife,” he bellowed, his face growing mottled.

  Mike appeared out of the darkness. “Susan, grab whatever you need for the night. The Mott’s have offered you a place to stay the night. Clancy, I suggest you sleep it off. We’ll talk in the morning.”

  “You just want to steal my wife. You can have her.” He grabbed Susan’s arm and shoved her toward Mike. “Now she belongs to you. Nature calls and she’d best have all of her things out of my wagon before I get back!” He stumbled off into the darkness.

  She felt the blood drain from her face. She had the Mott’s for the night but after that, she had nowhere to go. She’d given Clancy all her money. Maybe she could ask for it back.

  “Susan?” Mike reached out and touched her arm. “Let’s get you packed while we can.”

  Tears trailed down her face. “Yes, of course.” She climbed into the wagon but she couldn’t think. Her mind was jumbled full of what would happen to her. The wagon tipped a bit as Mike climbed in beside her.

  “Do you have a bag?”

  She stared at him then blinked. “Yes, Yes I do and we can put my things in it. I don’t have much.” She took her clothes, her bible and everything else she’d come to independence with. She also took a bedroll and extra blankets.

  Mike raised one brow. “Is that all?”

  “Things aren’t th
at important. After all you can only wear one dress at a time.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m ready to go.”

  Mike grabbed a canteen and put it in the bag before he dropped it out of the wagon. After jumping out he turned back with his arms outstretched for her. She could sense the strength of him as he put his hands around her waist and swung her through the air until she was gently set on her feet. It was curious how he made her so warm and tingly just by being near her. She didn’t understand it. After he set her down, grabbed her bag and offered her his arm. He escorted her to the Mott’s who were so very kind, it made her cry in earnest.

  “Take care of her for me. Clancy doesn’t know I took his whiskey yet. Jed will sleep under your wagon tonight. I have a feeling Clancy won’t be happy.”

  Clarke Mott shook Mike’s hand. “Don’t you worry. She’s in good hands.”

  Mike smiled at her. “Things will be better tomorrow. Get some sleep alright?”

  Not trusting her voice, Susan nodded and wiped her eyes with a handkerchief Savanna Mott handed to her.

  It was no use, he wouldn’t find sleep. Mike tossed and turned under his wagon, and when he heard Smitty get up before dawn, he followed and laid the fire. Smitty nodded his thanks and put the coffee on to boil.

  “You didn’t sleep a wink,” Smitty said.

  “I look that bad?”

  “No, Mike, I heard you all night long. Snoring doesn’t bother me. Sometimes there’s a rhythm to it, but tossing and grunting when you roll on a rock, that disturbs my sleep.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. Want to talk about it?” Smitty went to the back of the wagon and folded the wooden tailgate down to use as a place to prepare food.

  “There’s really not much to talk about. Clancy is going to blow when he finds his liquor gone. I’m worried about him taking it out on Susan.”

  “His wife.”

  “Yes, Smitty, his wife. I know better than to interfere, but I won’t allow him to harm her. Dang it, I feel responsible for her. I told her she couldn’t join us unless she was married.” He heard a gasp behind him and he stiffened and turned.

  “I’m not your responsibility. I knew what I was doing when I got married, and you’re right, you shouldn’t interfere. I stopped by to say thank you. Good day.”

  He watched her walk away. She’d looked regal standing there with the wind whipping through her hair and a look of determination on her face. Under it all, he sensed a bit of hurt mixed in with her anger.

  Smitty crossed his arms in front of him. “Well?”

  “Well, what?”

  “Dang it, Mike, go after the gal. Clancy is bound to find out about his whiskey soon.”

  Mike nodded and jammed on his hat. “I’ll be back. Save me some food.”

  “Don’t I always?”

  Mike smiled as he walked away. He could always count on Smitty.

  A roar of anger could be heard throughout the camp, and Mike picked up his pace. Clancy must have found out about his missing bottles. His long strides became a sprint when he spotted Jed holding Clancy back from the Mott’s wagon. Intense body odor mixed with liquor and a faint trace of perfume assaulted Mike as he grasped Clancy by his filthy shirt. Together, he and Jed dragged the unkempt man to his wagon.

  Mike unceremoniously shoved him to the ground and towered over him. “If you’re looking for your whiskey, you won’t find it. I poured it out last night. I warned you about your drinking. I don’t tolerate drunkards on the trail. You’re a danger to yourself and to the rest of us. I expect you to pull your weight or you’re welcome to leave.”

  Clancy’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Mike. “You’d like that wouldn’t you? You’d just love to have my wife all to yourself. Don’t think I haven’t seen how you stare at her and how she stares right back at you. I’m continuing on, but Susan is no longer welcome in my wagon.”

  There was a gasp from the crowd that had gathered. Many looked at Clancy in disgust but there were enough people who looked at Mike in the same way. Damn. He needed their confidence and their respect in order to be an effective leader. He glanced over at Susan. She looked frail standing there alone with her face so very pale and drawn. He had to struggle against his instinct to go to her and reassure her.

  “If you plan on traveling with us there will be no more drinking. You will take your assigned turn at guard duty. You will drive your own wagon and take care of your oxen. Think of this is your second and last chance. Do we understand each other?”

  Clancy stood and spit on the ground. “Understood.” He turned and climbed into the back of his wagon.

  Mike turned to the crowd. “Nothing more to see here folks. Might as well get ready to move out.” He stood and stared at them until the last of the stragglers left. What to do about Susan? The Motts had been very kind to her but he didn’t think they were in a position to take on an extra person to feed. He found himself glancing everywhere except for where Susan stood. Perhaps the Lewises could take her in their wagon. She’d be an asset to them, and Lord knew they needed all the help they could get.

  Mike walked to the Lewis wagon and chatted with Mrs. Lewis. His heart lightened when she agreed to take Susan in. He thanked her, and as he walked back to the Motts’ wagon he sighed in relief. Hopefully that would take care of the problem for today. On his way to get Arrow, he waved Eli over.

  “Do me a favor and make sure Susan get settled in at the Lewis wagon. I also want the line order changed up. Let’s put the Lewis wagon behind the Motts and move Clancy’s wagon back to where the Lewis wagon was. A little distance might help.” He smiled at Eli and then went on to find Arrow. After saddling and mounting his horse, he rode to the beginning of the train and yelled out, “Wagons ho!”

  It took everything he had to keep from checking on Susan throughout the day, but he didn’t want any more tongues wagging. Susan was a sweet, kind woman, and she didn’t deserve to be gossiped about. He figured if he kept his eye on Clancy that should be good enough.

  The mud wasn’t as bad as the day before, but a few of the wagons did get stuck. This time the settlers knew what to do and they got started again fairly quickly. Upon stopping for the noon meal, he was approached by the Sugartons. He wanted to groan when he saw Trudy and Elton hurrying toward him.

  After greeting them with a nod, Mike waited for them to speak. He knew it had something to do with Susan, and he really wasn’t in the mood.

  Trudy Sugarton put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips as she stared at him. Finally, she opened her mouth. “We don’t think it’s right the way you changed up the order of the wagons. Why should the Lewis wagon be up front? Is it because Mr. Lewis is dead or is it because Susan is now riding with them?”

  Elton stood by his wife and nodded.

  Mike crossed his arms in front of him and took his time in answering. “It’s more of a safety concern than favoritism. You’re right, Mrs. Lewis did lose her husband and she really doesn’t know how to drive her wagon very well. You’re also right that Susan is now riding in the Lewis wagon. Usually I don’t take the time to explain my decisions, but since you asked so nicely that’s my answer.”

  “See, Elton, I told you it was favoritism. Everyone else has to take turns but not the Lewises. Now, what about the Motts? Will they be getting the coveted spot in the front from now on too?” Trudy asked her voice laced with sarcasm.

  “You’re always welcome to leave.” Mike touched the brim of his hat and then walked away. He could hear Trudy sputtering behind him, and a smile slid over his face. No matter how many times he brought wagons out to Oregon, it was always the same. There were the gossips, the complainers, the lazy ones, and the ones he wanted to strangle. But those types of people were the exception, and the rest of the folks were good, kind people.

  He was glad when the noon break was over and they could continue on.

  Chapter Five

  The routine continued the same, day in and day out, over the nex
t two weeks. There was a small group of women that whispered behind their hands whenever she was in sight. The worst part was the way Mike ignored her. She understood, but that didn’t make the hurt any less. She looked for him constantly as she drove the wagon. He’d ride by, give her a tip of his hat, and keep going. She thought she had been lonely before, but with this new attitude of his, the feeling had returned in spades. Inside, she wanted to curl up and die. She hadn’t realized how much Mike had come to mean to her. She had looked on him as more than a friend and now she was left with pain in her heart.

  She had no right to her feelings. After all, she was married to Clancy still. As soon as she found a judge, she was going to have the marriage annulled. But given the fact they hadn’t seen anyone in weeks, it wasn’t bound to happen anytime soon. Besides, Mike wasn’t the type of man to put down roots. He seemed content to travel back and forth across the country.

  She’d become very comfortable in the Lewis wagon. Natalie and her daughter Lily were delightful people. Natalie was still a bit green about some of the chores, but she was willing to learn and that was what counted. Susan got to sleep inside the wagon with them that was an extra bonus. So far, she’d been lucky and had been able to keep out of Clancy’s way. She talked to Jed and he found her buck knife that she strapped to the inside of her leg. It wasn’t a matter of if it was a matter of when he’d come after her. She often felt his eyes upon her and it always made her shudder.

  After a particularly troublesome stretch along the trail, it was time to stop for the day. Even muscles that had grown used to driving the wagon had begun to ache. She slowly climbed down off the wagon and waved to the Motts.

  “I heard tell we’ll be at the river crossing by tomorrow. Mike asked me to tell you that if one of the men offers to drive your wagon you let them,” Savanna said when she came closer. She smiled kindly. “You been doing a good job, and I have to say I feel better knowing you’re not with that Clancy. How are the Lewises doing?”