We've Only Just Begun

by Kathleen Ball

  “Yes, you are.” He finished eating and then he stood. “Get a bit of rest if you can. I’ll take care of the oxen and the wagon. At least lay down for a bit.”

  It wasn’t a bad idea, and she was tired. After putting the food away, she climbed into the back of the wagon and rested.

  Susan opened her eyes. Someone was driving the wagon and not very smoothly. Her teeth gritted as the wheels went over bump after bump. What in the world? She quickly sat up and then got to her knees. She then crawled to the front and looked out. It was Mike driving, and she couldn’t stop the warmth that filled her heart.

  He turned his head and grinned at her. “Hello, sleepy one.”

  “Why didn’t you wake me to drive? The others will think—”

  “—that I’m your husband. I’m allowed to take care of you. Jed and Eli are riding up and down the line looking out for the others. Go and get more sleep if you like.”

  She scrambled out to the bench and sat next to Mike. “With the way you drive?”

  Mike laughed. “And what is wrong with the way I drive?”

  “I do believe you hit every bump on the trail. I’ll be surprised if I’m not covered in bruises.” She grinned back.

  “I’d be happy to check for you. Roll up your sleeve and I’ll check your arm.” The teasing light in his eyes tugged at her heart and trapped the breath in her lungs.

  “You have no sense of propriety. What will the—”

  “—other’s think?” Mike finished. “That, my dear, is your problem. You worry about what others think. There are always going to be people who think what you do is wrong or not up to their standards. Tell me, do those judgmental people look happy? Do they smile? Do they laugh? You’ve done nothing worth being looked down upon or talked about. People who love you and care about you like you just the way you are.”

  A great weight lifted from her shoulders. “You’re right. Old habits are hard to break. My parents were always so concerned with what the neighbors or the town would think. Living that way does steal your happiness. It made me shy. I was always afraid I’d say or do the wrong thing and it’s hard to live that way.” Susan rolled up her sleeve and showed her arm to Mike. “No bruises, but I’m surprised.” She laughed.

  “See, you need to laugh more. It becomes you.”

  “I’m sure anything is better than my perpetual frown.”

  Mike shook his head. “You smile. I’ve seen you smile often, in fact. It’s one of the things I like best about you. Your smile lights up the whole sky.” His smile faded and he turned his concentration to the trail.

  Susan looked out at the mountains in the distance. He felt it too. He felt the pull between them. Her love for him grew, and she wanted to groan out loud. Love was a curse. In this case, it was the very worst curse. She wanted to be able to touch him and have him hold her. She wanted shared smiles and laughter. She wanted memories they would share forever together. She wanted to call him hers but he wasn’t and he never would be. She’d take what she could she supposed and the memories would be hers alone.

  Later that day, Mike walked from Smitty’s fire toward his and Susan’s. It was bath night, and everyone was hurrying to get the food prepared so they could all go to the river. His chest tightened. Susan would smell even better afterwards, and he’d suffer for it. Her soap was lavender scented. If only he could hide it from her.

  “Of course, you won’t want to come with us tonight,” Mike heard Trudy say. His hackles rose at the hint of challenge in her voice. “You’ll want to be with your husband as a newlywed and all.”

  Upon rounding the wagon, he came upon Connie and Trudy, hemming Susan in against the back.

  He slowly walked to Susan and wrapped his arm around her waist. “You two don’t need to concern yourself with what my wife does. I hadn’t thought of it, but I suppose you’re right. What could be more romantic than a dip in the water under the moonlight?”

  Connie and Trudy exchanged glances and frowned.

  “Well, we just wanted your wife to know she wasn’t invited,” Connie said.

  “Come now just because you’re both jealous that Susan married the best man there ever was, is no reason to be hateful to her. Meanness doesn’t look good on you.”

  Their eyes widened and then they turned and hurried away.

  “The best man there ever was?” Susan laughed.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s the truth and it made them leave.”

  She laughed even harder then abruptly stopped. “You’re going to have to go to the river with me, you know.”

  “I have no problem with that. I won’t peek, and I won’t touch. I know how to be a gentleman.” She looked into his eyes and nodded.

  “We’ll go after everyone else is finished.”

  “Sure, honey.” He wanted to choke. How was he going to keep from peeking? “I need to talk to Jed about something. I’ll be back.” He took long strides to get away from her as quickly as possible. He’d have to find another way. He didn’t have enough control to keep from touching her. He wanted her with everything within him. It was best to avoid temptation altogether.

  Thankfully, he ran into Clarke, and when he explained his problem, Clarke agreed to guard Savanna, Susan, Natalie, and Lily. Clarke suggested having Savanna plan it. She usually got people to do as she asked.

  Mike hadn’t realized just how tense his body was until Clarke walked away. If things were different, nothing would have stopped him from taking Susan, but they were in an impossible situation. He knew her to be untouched, and she’d still be that way when they parted.

  Later, he stopped by and told Susan he had to help fix a wagon, and he wouldn’t be able to take her after all. She just nodded and told him of her plan to go with her friends. Now if he’d only been able to hide her sweet-smelling soap.

  He didn’t want to be a liar, so he did indeed help repair a few wagons. He’d just finished fixing a wheel when he heard the screams coming from the bathing area. His heart squeezed. Susan was by the river.

  With Eli on his heels, Mike sprinted to the riverbank; both had their guns drawn. Savanna was trying to get to Susan who lay still on the opposite bank. Natalie stood in the water screaming with blood running down her face, and there was no sign of Lily. Clarke must have been knocked out, but he looked to be coming around.

  Jed rode up on his horse took one look, crossed the river and gave chase. Mike’s heart dropped into his stomach. Lily had been taken.

  Mike got to Susan before Savanna and he let out a breath he didn’t know he held. She didn’t open her eyes, but she was alive. He scooped her up into his arms and offered his arm for Savanna to hold onto as he made his way to the bank. Clarke reached down and helped Savanna out of the water.

  People came with guns and blankets. Eli carried Natalie out of the water and handed her off to Smitty.

  “Indians stole my baby,” Natalie cried. “My Lily. My sweet, sweet Lily is gone.” She wailed as she wept. Smitty carried her to his fire, wrapped a blanket around her wet chemise, and sat her down. He then laid a blanket on the ground and helped Mike lay Susan on it before he covered her with another blanket.

  “There were two of them,” Savanna said. She stood in the circle of Clarke’s arms, shivering. Nellie Walton ran forward with a quilt and handed it to Clarke. “They were there before we knew it. They hit Clarke then tried to drag Lily away. We tried to stop them. Susan fought and fought but they ended up stabbing her in the shoulder before one of them hit her in the back of her head. Natalie never gave up either, they hit her head, and she went down. I’m afraid I was useless. I wasn’t close enough to try to grab her back.” Savanna crumpled to the ground and cried. Clarke sat down and pulled her onto his lap. Blood ran down the side of his face.

  Mike quickly rolled Susan onto her side and checked her shoulder. Sure enough, she’d been stabbed. A quick glance down revealed a fair amount of blood on his clothes.

  Smitty grabbed medical supplies from the back of the wagon
and edged Mike out of the way. “Let me check it out. She’ll need some sewing, I bet.”

  Mike jumped up. “Smitty, you’re in charge. Eli and I will go after Lily.”

  “Mike, you can’t leave. You’re the captain,” Smitty said.

  “I’ll go,” Ranger said, taking a step forward. “I can track. All I ask is that you look after Connie for me.”

  Connie gasped and grabbed her father’s arm. “You can’t leave me.”

  “You’ll be in good hands. Don’t you worry.” He gently pried her hand off his arm.

  “Done,” said Smitty. “Grab your guns and ammo; I’ll gather some supplies for you.”

  Max stepped forward. He was a big man dressed in buckskins who Bart had hired on at Fort Laramie to help drive his wagon. “I know this country pretty well. I’d like to go and look for her too.”

  Mike furrowed his brow. He would have sworn any friend of Bart’s was going to be trouble but it didn’t seem to be the case. “I’d appreciate that, Max.”

  Mike walked with Eli toward the horses. “Eli, find Jed. If you can’t locate her in a few days you need to come back. You know the trail we’ll be on.” He lowered his voice. “I hate to say this, but it’s likely she’s already dead.”

  Eli nodded. “I know but we need to try to find her. We might just get lucky.”

  “I hope so.” Mike hugged his brother and then shook Ranger’s hand. “Thanks for stepping up, Ranger.”

  “We’ll give it our best shot, but you know how Indian abductions usually go. Take care of my girl.”

  “Will do.” Mike watched them mount up and ride away. He could only pray they’d find Lily quickly and in one piece.

  When he returned to the fire, he was heartened to see Susan’s eyes open. She still lay on the ground, and her face was deathly pale. She reached out toward him with her right arm, and he immediately went to her. Holding her hand, he sat down next to her and brushed her hair back from her face. Smitty had stitched her up, but blood was already seeping through the bandage.

  “I tried. Really, I tried. I hit one of them with a rock and cut his leg. He stabbed me and when I tried to hit him again, he hit me in the head. Lily is gone.” Tears poured down her face as she stared into his eyes.

  “I know, sweetheart, I know. You were very brave.” An image of Susan being the one taken flashed through his mind, and his heart raced. A lump formed in his throat as he gazed down at his wife. What if it had been her?

  “I need to talk to the men about guard duty and see who will drive yours, Natalie’s and Connie’s wagons.”

  “Natalie and I can drive one together. It’ll keep her busy.”

  He shook his head. “You’re in no condition to hold the oxen in line.”

  “I won’t actually drive. I’ll sit next to Natalie and keep her from falling apart.” Her eyes held a silent plea, and after a moment he nodded.

  “I’ll talk to her about it. It’ll only take me a moment, and I’ll get you into dry clothes.” He stood and started to walk toward a group of men when he realized what he’d just said. He changed direction and went over to the O’Leary family. They usually kept to themselves but Mrs. O’Leary was the mothering type.

  “Mr. O’Leary, Mrs. O’Leary,” he greeted.

  “What can we do for you, Captain?” Mr. O’Leary stepped forward and shook Mike’s hand.

  “I was hoping Mrs. O’Leary could help my wife change into dry clothes.” He felt his face warm at the couple’s perusal.

  Mrs. O’Leary bit back a smile. “I’d be happy to. Harvey here will help me get her into your wagon. You won’t be gone long, will ya?”

  “I’ll be there in a bit. Thank you so much.” He tipped his hat before he turned and walked toward the other men.

  Susan lay comfortably in the wagon. She had clean dry clothes on, and Smitty had given her something for the pain. The Indian had meant to kill her and it shook her to her core. Lily’s scream echoed in her head. What was happening to her? And poor Natalie. Her cries could be heard throughout the camp. It broke Susan’s heart.

  The wagon rocked, and she grabbed for her loaded musket. Sitting up, she aimed it.

  “It’s me!”

  She sagged against the side of the wagon and closed her eyes. “I could have shot you.”

  Mike took the gun out of her hands. “Good thing you didn’t.” He set the firearm to the side and lay down beside her. Leaning up on his elbow he looked her over. “Are you alright? What about your shoulder? How’s your head?”

  His concern warmed her. “I’m not worried about myself. I keep reliving the moments at the river. They had no interest in the rest of us. They only wanted Lily. Why do you suppose that is?”

  “She’s young. How old is she?”

  “Thirteen I think. They wouldn’t…”

  Mike shook his head. “The younger ones are usually made part of the tribe. Part of their family. Though they do tend to marry younger than we do.”

  “Marry?” She couldn’t contain the horror in her voice.

  “I shouldn’t have said anything. The truth is I have no idea why they took her. Jed left hot on their trail. I’m hoping he can get her back.” He reached down and touched her face.

  A sharp ache lanced through her temple, and she hissed through her teeth.

  “Sorry,” he murmured, withdrawing his hand. “That’s a bad bruise, and your face is going to be swollen for a while.”

  But she didn’t care about that. “Jed and Eli are both in danger aren’t they? If only we hadn’t gone to the river.” Tears spilled over and rolled down her face.

  “They’ve probably been watching us for a while. I should have noticed at some point. You can’t blame yourself. There is so much out here that can hurt you. We can only try our best to get to Oregon in one piece.”

  She dashed her tears away with her hands. “You do this over and over. Aren’t you afraid?”

  He rolled onto his back and gently eased her body so her head lay on his chest. “Of course I’m afraid. But it’s what we do. Eli, Jed, Smitty, and I all chose to be guides. There is danger, but there’s also great satisfaction in leading those who need us.”

  She could hear his heart beating as she lay against him. With him, she was safe and warm. She moved a bit and his arms tightened around her. “I thought you’d fallen asleep,” she whispered.

  “No, too much on my mind. I could have lost you today, and my mind won’t let go of the possible sorrow I would have felt. You’ve come to mean a lot to me.” His voice grew husky.

  Not knowing what to say, she swallowed hard and nodded. Parting in Oregon was going to be even harder than she’d thought. Not wanting the closeness to end, she stayed still, enjoying the warmth of his hard body. He stroked her hair, and it was heavenly.

  Morning came far too soon, and he eased her back to her side of the wagon. “I’ll grab us some food. I don’t want you doing much today. Are you in pain?”

  “A bit. Could you ask Smitty for some of his special tea? And I need to check on Natalie.”

  “Let me get out, and I’ll lift you down. I mean it. I want you to take it easy.” He stared at her long and hard until she nodded in agreement.

  She was glad she’d had Mrs. O’Leary dress her in clothes instead of a nightgown. Grabbing her hairbrush and hair pins, she bit back a smile. She was excited to have Mike’s hands around her waist. She couldn’t fight her feelings anymore, and if she’d learned anything on her journey west, it was that life was unpredictable.

  She sat at the fire Mike had made for her and struggled through her pain to put her hair up. She felt someone staring at her and sure enough when she looked up, there was Big Bart. That was it! She’d had enough.

  “What is it you want? I feel as though you are keeping an eye on me.”

  He cocked his right brow. “I need your wagon. My oxen are getting weak, and I need to lighten the load of my wagon. It is my wagon after all.” He strolled in her direction as he talked.

  �
��It now belongs to my husband. You have no business with me. Besides, I need the wagon for my things. You may have to leave some of your things on the side of the trail. We’ve passed many items the last few days.”

  “You don’t want to pay the price of my anger. I owe both you and the wagon, and I aim to collect.” He glared at her.

  A chill filled her. “You might as well try to strike a deal with someone else. Like I said, all my worldly possessions now belong to Mike.”

  “Have you gotten rid of Clancy’s things? You could make room in your wagon if you threw his things out.”

  She stood and put her hands on her hips. “I gave his things to people who had use for them. I still have no room for your things.” She wasn’t about to tell him she traded many of Clancy’s things at Fort Laramie. He might insist everything she got in trade belonged to him. She widened her eyes. “It’s whiskey isn’t it? Clancy promised to transport it for you?”

  “A fair and right woman would honor her dead husband’s wishes,” Bart snarled.

  “I never said I was fair and right, Mr. Bigelow. I’ll have to ask you to leave my fire. You’re making my head ache something awful.”

  “This isn’t the end.”

  She sighed when he left. She was sure it wasn’t the end too.

  “What was that all about?” Mike asked. He handed her a cup of tea and set a plate of eggs and biscuits down on a crate.

  “His oxen are tired of dragging his whiskey across the world. He still insists that my wagon belongs to him. He still thinks I belong to him too. He has some nerve. I told him that everything now belongs to you.”

  “Gee, thanks.” Mike chuckled. “Don’t let him worry you. He’ll just have to leave some of his precious whiskey behind. I have drivers for all the wagons. Natalie insists on driving and having you with her. Clarke and Savanna are in good shape, and I found a young fella to drive Connie’s rig.”

  “How young?”

  “Young enough she won’t spend her day distracting him. That girl sure does like to flirt.” He shook his head. “How about you? Will you be able to sit all day? I can manage to have you lay down in the wagon if you’d prefer.”