Bridesmaid Blues

by Boone Brux

  “I promised Kyle we’d hang out. He needs an infusion of testosterone. The guy is even more whipped than when I left.”

  “I think the phrase is ‘in love,’ not whipped.”

  Before he could reply, his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen. “Speak of the devil. I’ll be right back.”

  He stood and stepped outside to take the call. While he was gone, the waiter delivered water and flatware rolled in cloth napkins. Though his back was to her, she could tell from the way his shoulders relaxed, almost slumping, that Kyle was delivering the news that he would not be joining Jamie for male bonding tonight.

  “Go Roxy!” When the two of them put their minds together, things got done. It had been that way in college. They’d met as roommates their freshman year and hit it off immediately. Both had a flair for social events, and the students of Babbish Hall had them to thank for the Spring Fling Luau, Pirate Appreciation Night, and the After Midterm Bash. Now there was the wedding. Even with the mothers of the bride and groom warring for dominance, Roxy had set the tone, and Dani made sure plans stayed on track.

  After another minute, Jamie returned to the table. “Looks like I’m free after all.”

  “Did Kyle cancel your date?”

  “Yeah, Roxy already had something planned.” He eased against the back of the chair. “Whipped, I tell ya.”

  Ignoring his angst over being usurped by the girlfriend, she pasted on a big grin. “Good, then you can come on the tour and protect me.”

  “I suppose I can’t let you go alone. You need protection and”—he eyed her for a few seconds—“I am rather manly.”

  “I see your modesty is still intact.” She took a sip of her water. “I’m sure you can handle any menacing hoodlums.”

  He cocked a brow. “Hoodlums?”

  “Just saying, you’re not one to be trifled with.”

  “Is that sarcasm I hear?”

  She pressed her hand to her chest. “Never.”

  His eyes cut to the entrance of the restaurant, and his smile instantly faded. “Shit.”

  The bell tinkled when the door opened, and she glanced over. Shit was right. Jamie’s mother strolled in.

  Wow, at least three leopards must have given their lives for that outfit. The woman was dressed out in a jungle’s worth of animal print and more gold jewelry than Midas. Amelia Kingsland had never liked her and made no bones about it.

  “Jamie.” She stopped beside their table, peering down her nose at them. “I didn’t realize you were back in town already.”

  “Hello, Mother.” He stood and placed a cursory kiss on her cheek. “You remember Dani.”

  “Yes, so nice to see you again.”

  From her tone that was a blatant lie. “How have you been, Mrs. Kingsland?”

  “Ms. Kingsland.” The woman inhaled and then released a suffering sigh. “As good as can be expected.”

  “Would you like to join us?” Jamie placed his hand on the edge of a chair but didn’t pull it over, probably hoping his mother declined. “We haven’t ordered yet.”

  “Well, maybe for just a minute.” She perched on the edge of the chair he offered. “So, are you two dating again?”

  The water Dani had sipped stuck in her throat. She swallowed hard, pushing the liquid down so she didn’t spit it all over Jamie’s mother or erupt in a coughing fit. Thankfully, he answered for both of them. “Just friends spending time together.” He stared at her. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

  “Your happiness will always be my business.” She smiled. “Good.”

  Whatever “good” meant didn’t matter to Dani. Too often she’d been subjected to the woman’s disapproval and hadn’t said a word. No more. That whole counting to ten thing—not gonna work this time. She rested her elbows on the table and her chin against her fists. “We’ll be sure to text you if anything changes on that front, though.”

  “You do that, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up, dear.” Ms. Kingsland gave her a smug smile. “You, of all people, know my son gets bored with one woman.” Her lips tightened. “Just like his father.”

  Dani blinked against the verbal blow and slid a glance toward Jamie. His mouth tightened, and for a second she thought he would blast her with a comeback. Instead he swallowed hard, probably counting to ten, and then said, “Any man would be lucky to have Dani on his arm.”

  Well, that was nice.

  “Menu?” he asked his mom.

  “No, I need to watch my figure.” Her gaze ghosted over Dani, a pinched smile on her unnaturally tight face. “You know how it is.”

  “I sure do. My mom struggles with her weight, too.” She returned an ingenuous smile. “But I think you look fabulous for your age.”

  The woman’s smile froze, her eyes widening for a second and then narrowing.

  Okay, that might have been a tad petty, but she’d been on the receiving end of derision and condescension and insults from Jamie’s mom for the better part of a year. So, she’d own her petty part, but a person shouldn’t dish insults if they weren’t prepared to take them. Even as she thought that, a wave of guilt slapped against her. She hadn’t meant to stoop to the woman’s level, but her tongue was quicker than her forgiveness. Her gaze cut to Jamie. He gave the slightest inclination of his head, a silent kudos for finally standing up for herself. Warmth spread across her chest as she remembered how he’d always defended her to his parents.

  Ms. Kingsland turned to face her son. “So, why haven’t you called?”

  “I only got in town yesterday.” He signaled the waiter over. “You ready to order?”

  Dani nodded.

  “But you still could have called.” His mother adjusted her animal print bag on her lap. “I would have been happy to meet you for lunch today.”

  One, two, three. Dani bit her tongue and silently counted to ten. Otherwise she might say even more that she’d regret. Well, probably not regret exactly, but something she shouldn’t. It was no secret this woman had never approved of her, but was there really a need to be so openly…rude? Having already said her piece—and to be honest, Ms. Kingsland’s expression had been priceless—she wouldn’t rise to the woman’s baiting again. Insulting Ms. Kingsland might upset the fragile calm between her and Jamie and ruin her plans for tonight. On the other hand, since Roxy already convinced Kyle to stay home, she didn’t really need to go out with Jamie.

  “I already had plans for lunch. With Dani. That’s why I didn’t call.” His flat tone belied his irritation, which pleased Dani a great deal.

  The waiter arrived, and after giving him their orders, Jamie cleared his throat. “How’s Victor?”

  His mother huffed out another tormented sigh and opened her purse. “The bastard left me.”

  Jamie caught Dani’s eyes and mouthed, “Shocker.”

  She pressed her lips together and turned her face toward the wall to hide her smile. It seemed not much had changed between Jamie and his parents. Both had been demanding in different ways. He’d complain about his father’s militant demands and his mother’s constant whining about being victimized. All in all, Jamie had turned out fairly normal—except for his abhorrence to anything resembling a happily ever after. After two minutes in the company of his mother, she certainly understood where that phobia came from.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I thought things were working out with him.”

  “Yes, well, he seemed to think I demanded too much of his time.” She pulled out a compact and flipped it open, checking her lipstick. “Said I was draining the life out of him.”

  “Imagine that,” Jamie said.

  His mother peered at him over the lid of the makeup case. “Are you saying I do?”

  Dani unrolled her silverware and spread the napkin on her lap. Over and over she smoothed the thick red material, trying her best to remain apart from their conversation—trying to keep her mouth zipped shut.

  “Nope, I’m not saying anything.” He craned his neck, searching for the waiter. “Wh
ere’s our food?”

  She stifled her laugh, since the server hadn’t even made it to the back to post the ticket yet.

  “Anyway,” his mother continued, “I’m a free woman again.” She snapped the compact shut and dropped it into her purse. “I’ve got lots of time to spend with my son now. How about dinner tonight?”

  “Sorry, Dani and I are going on the Seattle underground tour.”

  “What is that? A new club?”

  “No, it’s the actual city. You know, the one before the big fire?” he said.

  “Well, you can do that some other time, and besides, you’re having lunch with her. I think that’s plenty for one day.” Her gaze bounced between them, almost desperate. “Surely you can make time for me.”

  Dani almost felt sorry for Mrs. Kingsland—almost. It was no secret that Jamie’s father had left her for a younger woman. Talk about a punch to the ego, and it was easy to see that his mother needed for somebody to want her. If it wasn’t a man, then it was Jamie. Too bad somebody didn’t tell her that her suffocating attitude wasn’t helping her situation—too bad she probably wouldn’t heed the advice.

  “I will make time for you, but not tonight. Dani and I are going on the underground tour of Seattle.” His answer was firm. “But I promise I’ll call you later this week.”

  “See that you do.” She stood and without a kiss, hug, or any other evidence of maternal love, pivoted and left.

  Jamie reclaimed his seat. They were both silent for a few seconds, but Dani couldn’t hold her tongue. “Wow, just as warm as ever.”

  He shook his head. “The Ice Queen is alive and well in Seattle.”

  The look on his face tugged at her sympathy. Maybe what his mom said was true, but she shouldn’t have voiced it—especially to other people. After all the interactions they’d had with his parents, she’d never noticed how truly affected he was by them and their divorce. Sitting back now, viewing it from a distance, the signs of his commitment issues were clear. She sighed. Hindsight was twenty-twenty, as they say.

  Trying to lighten the mood, she reached across the table and tapped him on the arm, careful not to touch him for too long. “Well, tonight should be fun.”

  As if pushing away the black cloud that followed his mother, he straightened. “Yeah, it should.”

  “But…” She pointed at him. “Don’t jump out and scare me.”

  “I thought you liked to be scared.”

  “I do, but on my own terms.”

  He shook his head. “That makes no sense.”

  “Yes, it does. For example, I like horror films, but can’t watch the gory parts.”

  “This is something new I never knew about you.”

  “You never seemed interested in horror movies when we were deciding what to see.” She shrugged. “Besides, you don’t know all my secrets. I’m a woman of mystery.”

  “I see that. A thrill seeker, a boyfriend I just learned about, senior editor—you’re full of surprises.”

  “Thrill seeker and senior editor, yeah.” She scrunched up her face. “Boyfriend? Not so much.”

  “But Roxy said—”

  “That I was dating someone.” She nodded. “I know, but I’m not, and wasn’t when she told you that.” She could have made him believe she was involved with another man, but lies weren’t her thing. Despite Jamie’s commitment-phobia and tendency to go AWOL in a relationship, there was no need to pretend she had a boyfriend. What did it matter if she was still single? It didn’t affect their relationship or her mission. “Roxy was just being a good friend and trying to have my back.”

  “Why would she need to have your back?”

  Okay, this was getting awkward. “You know, the whole BFF thing.”

  “No, what’s the whole BFF thing?” He leaned in, peering at her. “Is this about us?”

  She so didn’t want to have this conversation. “Oh look, our food.”

  The waiter interrupted her train of thought by setting a heaping plate in front of her. Food: it was like a balm for the soul—and cushion for her thighs if she wasn’t careful. She’d acquired five extra pounds from being the maid of honor. The endless parties, dinners, and receptions the Bennetts and Honeycutts insisted on having to celebrate their children’s marriage was taking a serious toll on her Spanx. After making sure they didn’t need anything else, the waiter left.

  Jamie unrolled his silverware and laid his napkin across his lap. “Should we meet there? Or—I could pick you up at your place.”

  “Let’s meet there.” She eyed her chicken masterpiece, wondering how best to tackle the sandwich. Without asking, he reached across the table and cut her sandwich in half—just like he used to do. She picked up her pickle and held it out to him. “The tour starts at nine, so let’s say eight forty-five. That should give us plenty of time.”

  He took it from her, nodding. “Yeah, we’d hate to miss a second of the exciting tour.”

  “I know, right?” Despite the sandwich’s impressive height, she managed to bite off a good portion and chewed. Juice oozed down the side of her hand. Mmmm, it was just as good as she remembered. She swallowed and lifted the heavenly chicken to her mouth again, but stopped, noticing Jamie staring at her. “What?”

  “I forgot how much you liked food.”

  Admittedly, food was one of her favorite things in the world, next to comfy blankets and pillows. But his observation sounded like a criticism. “Is it a crime that I actually like to eat?”

  The appreciative gaze and dilating pupils indicated it didn’t bother him at all. “What’s a crime is that you can eat like that and still maintain that hot body of yours.”

  A tiny fissure cracked along the wall she’d erected around her emotions. She wouldn’t fall for his sweet words or sexy innuendos. She wouldn’t crumble under his piercing blue stare that had practically melted her clothes off when they were dating. She wouldn’t touch or even acknowledge the hopes she knew she still harbored for her and Jamie.

  Trying to appear unaffected, she lifted her brows and let a smile lift the corners of her mouth. “Wow, a compliment.”

  “It’s never been a secret I thought you were hot.”

  “Obviously not hot enough.” The words slipped out before she could stop them. From the look on his face, it was a direct hit. She shook her head. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “Yes, you should have.” He set his burger down. “I’ve been trying to think of a way of bringing it up. A way to apologize for bolting after New Year’s Eve.”

  Tightness squeezed her heart, and she slowly lowered her chicken sandwich back to the plate. “Why did you…bolt?”

  “You know me.” He gave her his full attention. “I’m not good when it comes to getting serious.”

  “Yeah, but you were a complete dick.” The anger she’d repressed for the last year bubbled to the surface. “I tell you I love you and two days later you move, blaming it on your dad demanding you take over the business.” She rubbed her hands on the napkin lying across her thighs. “Did you think I was stupid and wouldn’t put two and two together?”

  “No. I knew, but when you said that, I kind of freaked out.”

  She snorted. “Kind of?”

  He reached across the table and covered her hand. “I’m really, really sorry—as in, you have no idea how truly sorry I am about that. The last person in the world I wanted to hurt was you. I’m not making excuses—not at all, but in one ear I had my dad telling me I needed to go to Florida and take over projects. On the other side, I had my mom’s breakdown after he left. Then when you told me you loved me.” He shrugged. “Having another person depending on me was too much pressure. It was cowardly as shit, but Florida seemed—safe. I wasn’t ready, and I thought I’d been honest while we were together. I’ve never been a forever kind of guy.”

  She soaked in everything he’d said. So it hadn’t been totally about her, but she had been the final nail in the coffin. And he was right; he had said that a few times when
they’d been together. “I’m sorry, too.”

  “For what?” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “You didn’t do anything.”

  “I got too serious too fast. You weren’t ready. Maybe I knew that.” She shook her head. “I don’t know. I thought we were happy and things were going along fine, but I might have pushed too fast.” She held up her hand. “I’m not saying you weren’t a douche, but it’s in the past.” Maybe it was metaphorical, or actually physical, but she felt a weight ease from her and smiled at him. “And this time I mean it.”

  He blew out a long breath. “That wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it was going to be.”

  “Yeah?” Picking up her sandwich again, she flicked her head toward him. “What did you expect? Shouting? Maybe some tears?”

  “At the very least an articulate and slightly exaggerated rant describing in detail my faults.”

  “You mean, like, you’re a narcissistic bastard with mommy and commitment issues, who wouldn’t know a good thing if it slapped him in the face?”

  His eyes widened. “Uh, yeah, something like that.” He lifted his water and took a long drink, then set the glass back on the table. “Been wanting to get that off your chest, have you?”

  “No.” She cocked her head. “Why?”

  He smirked and shook his head. “No reason.”

  She returned his smile and held her chicken out to him. “Here’s to our new friendship.”

  Jamie mirrored her action and then tapped his burger against hers. “To new beginnings with old friends.”

  Her teeth sank into the meat. This was a good day. Their new camaraderie didn’t extinguish all of her past hurt. Nor did it flip a switch, magically changing the ache she still felt for him to platonic friendship. At least those emotions would be easier to manage now that he’d apologized. Yeah, things were going to be all right, and the whole favor-for-Roxy thing—a piece of cake.