Bridesmaid Blues

by Boone Brux

  “Reality rears its ugly head.” He pivoted and strolled to the living room “Can you drop me off at my house? I kind of don’t have a car.”

  “Of course. I’ll be ready quick.”

  She shuffled down the hall, sipping her coffee. This would be the fastest shower ever. Just in case Joya did call Roxy, she wanted to be out of the house before the troops circled. She shut the bathroom door and stripped down. It was difficult enough keeping her and Jamie’s relationship to a friends with benefits status in her mind. Trying to explain it to her friends would only garner looks of pity and deep conversations about how she was really feeling. She didn’t want to examine what she tried so hard to ignore—that she still loved him.

  …

  Jamie entered the restaurant ten minutes late. That should reap his father’s first criticism of the morning. Or at the very least, a disapproving glare. He wound his way through the tables and slid into the chair across from his dad.

  “You’re late.” Harold Kingsland shook his newspaper and folded it. “I thought I said eight.”

  “Car troubles.” He didn’t apologize because he wasn’t sorry. “Have you ordered?”

  “Yes, for both of us.”

  Jamie gritted his teeth, but didn’t say anything. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

  “Work, you, Sonja.”

  “Work is good. I’m good. There’s nothing to talk about when it comes to Sonja.” He waved the waiter over. “Coffee, please.”

  The waiter nodded and slanted a wary look at Jamie’s father. Obviously Harold Kingsland’s reputation followed him. He was hard on his workers, hard on waiters, and hard on his son.

  “There’s a lot we need to talk about. Sonja’s father and I are partners in business, and we want to see our businesses grow.”

  “And you think me marrying his daughter will do that?”

  “I know it will.” His father tapped his finger on the table. It was a way of stressing his point. “You’re unfocused, Jamie, always talking about doing something else. Sonja will keep you on track. And she’s beautiful.”

  “My personal life is none of your business.”

  “Like hell it’s not. You work for me, and you’re my son.”

  Yeah, in that order. “Did it ever dawn on you that I can make my own decisions?”

  His father leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. “I sure haven’t seen that.”

  “You know what confuses me? You let me run the entire Florida location, but you think I need your help finding a wife.”

  “Let you is right. I built my company into what it is from the small business my father left me. I wasn’t handed a fully functioning moneymaker like you’re getting. But until the day I hand it over to you, I’m still in charge.”

  Jamie held up his hands. “Oh yes, that’s a fact you’ve made perfectly clear.”

  “And I’ll continue to say it until you pry control from my cold, dead fingers.”

  “In the first place, I’m not going to pry anything from any part of your body.” Jamie leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “Secondly, have you looked at your life, Dad? No friends. Employees who are scared to death of you. And you’re surrounded by women who are young enough to be your daughters.”

  “I’ve got plenty of friends. And all I need from my workers it that they do their damn job. If they want a group hug they can find a support group. And I don’t know a whole lot of men who would complain about young beautiful women wanting to sleep with them.”

  “Because you’re rich.” Jamie shook his head. “Not because you’re charming or they find you appealing. They want what you can give them—shiny, expensive stuff.”

  “And you’re such an expert on relationships?”

  Jamie laughed, but it held no humor. “With you and Mom as role models? Hardly.” He tossed his napkin on the table. “We’ve had this conversation a hundred times. If you don’t like the way I run the business in Florida, then fire me. But I’m not marrying Sonja. She’s too much like her father, only with better legs.”

  “So what, you’re thinking of starting things with Dani again?” His father sneered. “She’s a book editor, for crying out loud. What kind of job is that?”

  “You don’t know the first thing about her.” His father could belittle him all he wanted, but not Dani. “She’s the best person I know.”

  “I suppose you’re going to marry her just to spite me.”

  “I’m not sure how many ways I have to say it.” He stood. “I’m not marrying anybody.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I lost my appetite.” He shoved in his chair. “I’ll let you know when I’m heading back.”

  Without waiting to be blasted by more ridicule, Jamie strode from the restaurant. Arguing with his dad was a losing battle. He climbed into his car, shoved the key in the ignition, and then exhaled. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back to lie against the headrest. Yes, arguing with his dad was pointless, and so was trying to earn his approval—forget about love. Even when he did exactly what his father demanded, he still wanted more. God this was so…so…juvenile.

  He was a grown-ass adult, for shit’s sake!

  Jamie opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. As the only child he’d done the right thing and followed in a parade of ancestors’ footsteps. He knew tradition and loyalty had meant a lot to his father, but in another five years he’d be bled dry if he stayed on at Kingsland Construction. He wasn’t happy there—never had been, thanks to his father’s constant criticism. He’d tried to be a good son, but what had it cost him?

  There were other jobs. He had skills, despite what his father said. With the money he’d saved he could even open his own business or invest in one of his friends’ businesses. It was time he stopped trying to earn something his father would never be able to give him and start doing what he wanted—and maybe even be with who he wanted.

  Chapter Eleven

  The car horn blared. Dani checked her lipstick in the hall mirror, grabbed her bag of party paraphernalia, and sprinted out the door. Tonight was Roxy’s bachelorette party, and she planned on having fun.

  She climbed in the backseat of Kinni’s car. “Hey girls, ready to party?”

  A unanimous howl erupted from the three ladies. Roxy turned in her seat. “You look great. Did you do something different with your hair?”

  “Nope, just happy to be out with my friends.”

  Joya snorted. “Yeah, that must be it.”

  She turned to her and glared, then cut her gaze back to Roxy and smiled. “So what’s on the agenda first, Kinni?”

  That had been her task, lining up a fun-filled night of debauchery. Dani prayed she hadn’t made reservations at a sensible restaurant or booked tickets for some kind of body exhibit at the museum. While that might suit Kinni, Roxy’s style was decidedly more Vegas-inspired.

  “The Fox Hole. They’re having a male review there tonight.”

  “Very well done, Kinni.” Roxy patted her purse. “I’ve got a wad of singles burning a hole in my pocket.”

  “Strippers and booze,” Dani said. Though the only man she wanted to see naked and dancing around was Jamie, she wasn’t complaining about having to spend the evening objectifying men. “Oh, and thanks for driving, Kinni.”

  “Yeah, but you know we could have hired a limo for tonight,” Roxy said. “I feel bad that you won’t get to imbibe.”

  Kinni’s eyes cut to the rearview mirror. “It’s better if I don’t drink anyway. I’ve got an interview at Lawson’s Law Firm tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Congratulations.” Roxy grabbed her arm and gave it a shake. “Way to put yourself out there.”

  Kinni shrugged. “What’s the worst they can say?”

  “Exactly. If they don’t hire you it’s their loss,” Dani said.

  Her friend’s posture slumped. “You don’t think they’re going to hire me?”

  “Of course they’re going to hire you! I’m just sa
ying, on the off chance, I mean very off chance, they’d be losing an awesome asset to their firm.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  “Anyway…” Roxy said, switching direction when it became clear she was just digging a deeper hole. “Tonight is about fun.”

  “This isn’t the only fun Dani has been having,” Joya said.

  Dread washed over her. She gritted her teeth and gave her friend a warning smile. “Shut up.”

  “What’s going on?” Sensing a juicy secret, Roxy twisted in her seat. “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing. Joya is already drunk.” There was no way her friends were going to leave this alone. “She just thinks she saw something she didn’t.”

  “Spill it, Joya,” Roxy said.

  Kinni lifted in her seat until she caught the blabbermouth’s reflection. “What did you see, Joya? We have a right to know.”

  “No, you don’t.” A huff of frustration heaved from Dani. Arguing was a lost cause, but she wouldn’t go down without a fight. “Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean you need to know every detail of my life.”

  “Of course it does.” Roxy gave her a placating smile. Then turning to Joya, she narrowed her gaze. “Talk.”

  The smile on the snitch’s mouth was pure evil. She was enjoying the suspense, dangling the proverbial carrot until her friends worked themselves into a frenzy. Then she blurted it. “Dani had a guy at her house this morning.”

  Roxy’s expression fell. “Oh.”

  “He was in the shower and his coffee cup was ready but hadn’t been filled. Meaning…”

  “Meaning Dani had an overnight gentleman caller,” Kinni finished.

  “Who? Was it Robert from work?” Roxy asked.

  “Ewww, why do you guys think I would sleep with Robert? He smells like summer sausage and has ear hair.”

  “I think I know who it was.” Joya crossed her arms, giving them a self-satisfied grin Dani wanted to smack off her face. “Jamie.”

  Silence filled the car. Roxy’s eyes drifted to her, the excitement draining from her. “Dani, did you sleep with Jamie?”

  She glared at Joya and then looked back at Roxy. “Yes, but it’s not what you think.”

  “Were you drunk?” Kinni asked.

  “Kinni, please keep your eyes on the road. And no, I wasn’t drunk.”

  “Honey, are you sure that was very smart? I mean, you’ve been a mess since he left,” Roxy said.

  “See, this is why I didn’t tell you.” She raised her hands in the air. “I knew you guys would get all protective and motherly.”

  “We’re just concerned about you.” Kinni glanced in the mirror again. “What are you going to do when he leaves again?”

  “Nothing. I know he’s going to leave. Sleeping together just kind of happened.” When nobody responded, she continued, feeling like she had to justify her actions. “We decided to keep it quiet. It’s a friends-with-benefits kind of thing. Nothing serious.”

  Roxy scowled at her. “There’s no such thing when it comes to you and Jamie. You know it and I know it—hell, we all know it.”

  “I think it’s great you’re banging him,” Joya said.

  They all looked at her. “Why?” she asked.

  “Because I was getting tired of watching you mope around.”

  “I wasn’t moping around.” Her three friends harrumphed simultaneously. “Okay, maybe I was a little depressed, but being with Jamie again has helped with that. Our breakup was so abrupt. Now I feel like I’ve gotten some closure.”

  “Is that what they’re calling it nowadays?” Roxy asked. “Look, if you’re good with this then I won’t say another word. I mean, it’s kind of my fault anyway.”

  “How so?” Kinni turned off the main road and pulled into the parking lot of the Fox Hole. “Does this have anything to do with the favor?”

  “Yeah, she asked me to keep Jamie occupied.” If they were baring their souls tonight, then Roxy wasn’t getting away unscathed.

  “Why would you ask that?” Joya asked.

  “I have my reasons.” The bride-to-be waved a dismissive hand. “Which aren’t important. Anyway, let’s drop the subject and have fun.” She turned in her seat and unfastened her belt. “Wow, it’s really packed.”

  Normally she didn’t let her friend sidestep blame so easily, but she was as happy to end the subject as Roxy. She just prayed that Jamie didn’t find out about the wedding favor. They were on good terms now, and she’d hate to ruin that. For sure this wouldn’t be the last she’d hear about sleeping with Jamie, but at least she wouldn’t have to listen to the lectures right now.

  “Okay, but before we go in I have prizes.” Dani climbed out of the car and set the bag on the trunk. “First Roxy. For the honor of being the bride…” With a flourish she pulled out a veiled tiara. “The penis bridal veil.” Tiny pink penises formed a pointy crown, sporting a tiny jewel at each tip. Delicate white netting hooked to the back in a spray of sparkling amazingness. She set it among Roxy’s riot of curls and gave a little sniff. “It’s beautiful.”

  “What do we get? What do we get?” Joya asked, jumping up and down and clapping.

  “We all get a sash. These are for the bridesmaids.” She handed each of the women a sparkly pink-and-zebra satin sash. “And this is for the bride-to-be.” After draping it over Roxy’s shoulder, she secured the Velcro strips together behind her back. “And…” She dug in the bag again and pulled out four gigantic pink penis straws. “We each have to drink with these tonight. Even you, Kinni, even though you’re only having water or soda.”

  “This is the closest thing to a penis I’ve had in my mouth since forever.” Kinni snatched the phallic straw and wrapped her lips around it. “Oh my God, it lights up.”

  “All good penis straws do.” Dani grabbed the last of the items from the bag. “And we all get these blinking penis necklaces.”

  “I’m sensing a theme here,” Joya said, dropping the necklace over her head.

  “This stuff is awesome.” Roxy did a little twirl and struck a pose. “How do I look?”

  “Like the queen of Penisland,” Dani said. She tossed the bag back in the car. “All right, ladies, let’s go tuck some bills.”

  They all hooked arms and formed a line. “Remember,” Roxy said, “cop a feel when you can, but don’t go too deep.”

  Dani grimaced. The night’s events weren’t really her style, but if Roxy wanted tacky—Roxy got tacky.

  “Make sure the guy is actually from the male review and not some perv off the street,” Joya added.

  “Yuck, I don’t want to live through that again.” Kinni shuddered.

  They burst out laughing and marched to the door. Four women with a purpose. To see the packages. Kinni flashed their VIP passes, and the bouncer waved them through. Moans and booing issued from some of the women still standing in the line outside the club, but they ignored them. Money might be the root of all evil, but it also got them stage-side seats.

  Women crammed into every available spot behind the metal bars meant to keep the general admission attendees out of the higher-priced seats. Three levels of tables spilled down the incline, the front row sitting about ten feet from the stage. Every seat was occupied, and for a second, Dani wasn’t sure they’d have a place to sit. But Kinni had everything under control. Veering left, they walked down a short hallway and into box seats.

  “Kinni, bless your little organized head,” Joya said, walking to the edge of their box. “This is amazing.”

  “Seriously, you outdid yourself.” Dani joined her friend. Their private table sat at stage level, and from the gated door at the left, Roxy was sure to be brought up for a bridal lap dance.

  Roxy wrapped the party planner/bridesmaid in a hug. “This is the best party ever.” She kissed her, leaving bright red lip prints on Kinni’s face. “Thank you.”

  “You deserve the best.”

  “Hello, ladies. My name is Kevin. Can I get you something to drink?”

  They
all spun, their mouths dropping open at the shirtless, hairless bronze god.

  “Soda water,” Kinni stammered out.

  “Uh.” Dani gave herself a little shake. “How about a pitcher of margaritas, ladies?”

  “Definitely.” Joya’s eyes never left the waiter. “And munchies.”

  “Yeah, to soak up the booze,” Roxy added.

  “I’ll be right back.” He winked and exited their space.

  “Hot.” Kinni fanned herself.

  “So hot,” Roxy added.

  “So gay,” Joya corrected.

  “Totally gay,” Dani agreed.

  They positioned their chairs for optimal viewing and tucking, and waited for the drinks to arrive and the show to begin. After a short five minutes, Kevin returned with a pitcher of liquid goodness, a soda water, and a generous basket of chips and salsa.

  Roxy rolled up a five-dollar bill and slipped it into the waistband of his pants. “Don’t let us go dry and there’s more where that came from.”

  “You got it.” He winked again, but this time only at Roxy. “I’ll be back to check on you.”

  He was barely out the door when the house lights dimmed and the neon stage lights burst to life. Music that sounded like a theme song from an old Western movie blared from the speakers, and fog rolled across the black stage floor.

  “Ladies, are you ready to meet the Wild Men of the West?” shouted an unseen emcee. A deafening roar rose up from the crowd. “Then hold on to your panties, because here they are.”

  A parade of finely sculpted Adonises streamed onto the stage. At various points, they stopped and either performed a simple dance move or gyrated the lower portion of their body. The women stood, bobbing up and down, reaching toward the stage.

  “That’s right, cowboy, who’s your mama?” Roxy shouted.

  The four women lined the rail, dancing and whooping with each new muscle the men flexed. In unison, the men yanked the faux leather chaps from their legs and spun them in the air. Tiny bandannas cover their privates, and gun holsters hung low around their hips. The near-naked cowboys clomped in a circle, doing a little bromance hoedown that kept their tight backsides to the crowd of cheering women. Stop—shake—gyrate—step-ball-change.