Handful of Heaven

by Jillian Hart

  Her confession came back to him, what she’d said when she’d spoken of her husband’s betrayal. He said that I was good at taking care of other people. It’s what I do. And he was right. I think that’s what hurt the most. But who had taken care of her through the years? Had anyone?

  It was amazing, too, that she was the one woman he just might be able to trust. A woman who’d been through something similar. Who’d been hurt in the same way. A woman with a gentle heart and a kind spirit who made him want to hold her…just to hold her.

  The road curved, and Paige and her horse veered off through a path in the trees. He put the truck into Park and hopped out to help with the gate that gleamed just within the faint reaches of the headlights, but it was already open.

  “Did you get that untied all on your own?” Paige didn’t even seem annoyed as the mare disappeared into the paddock.

  He waited while the first drops of cold rain pelted him on the head. He waited while the drops became steadier and by the time Paige had emerged from the dark shadows, he was wet clean through. But he didn’t mind. He opened her door, so she could hop inside.

  “Evan, I’m muddy. I don’t want to get your interior dirty.”

  “It’s happened before. And this date isn’t over until I see you to your door.”

  “Isn’t that an old-fashioned rule?”

  “Sometimes old-fashioned is the best.” He tucked her hand in his, and the connection that zinged through him hit him right in the soul.

  Please let her be all that I think she is, Lord.

  It had been a long time since he’d wanted anything so much. His spirit ached with the power of it. They’d had a solid conversation over dinner about their kids, their jobs and their church. They’d lived in the same town all their lives; there were plenty of things to discuss, from the yearly Founder’s Day celebration to the fundraiser for the county library Paige was catering.

  And as Evan cupped her elbow to help her into the truck, he felt something greater than he’d ever felt before: a tender desire to take care of this woman who worked so hard. His feelings were moving way too fast for his brain. He needed to take his time. Neither of them was in a hurry. Love was best, he’d learned, when it was meant to be instead of when it was rushed into being.

  He made sure she was in and gave her seatbelt a tug so she wouldn’t have to search for it, before shutting the door. He’d never expected the evening to turn out so well. He’d never expected to feel an emotional connection so strong. He didn’t know why it was there, but he figured it made sense in a way.

  He’d always known Paige, from a distance to be sure, but she was everything he admired in a woman.

  Tonight had only shown him she was even more amazing on a deeper level.

  They drove the rest of the way in silence. The hum of the heater and the rhythm of the wiper blades were deafening. Evan knew he wanted to ask Paige for another date. The question was, would she say yes? It was tough, but he only had a few more moments with her, so he had to gather up his courage now or it would be too late.

  He steeled himself, preparing for her rejection. “I hope I wasn’t too boring tonight.”

  He put the truth of what he was thinking right out there for her to comment on. What would her reaction be? He waited the infinitesimal beats between one second and the next.

  “Boring?” She turned to him, highlighted by the dash lights enough that he could see the surprise clearly on her lovely face. “I was worrying you thought the same thing about me. I work, I take care of my family, I work some more. That’s hardly exciting.”

  “It is to me.” He pulled into the graveled spot next to the house and shifted into Park. “That’s just about all I do.”

  “Don’t men at your age have a mid-life crisis? You know, sports cars, excitement, twenty-year-old wives?”

  There was a gentle lilt to her words, as if she were kidding him, but he could feel the dead seriousness beneath. “I’m happy with my life. A sports car wouldn’t haul my horse trailer. I think a quiet evening reading at home is exciting. And I would only bore a twenty-year-old, aside from the fact that my youngest son is nineteen. That would be beyond wrong.”

  Okay, that was a good answer, Paige thought while Evan hopped out and circled around the vehicle. Although Jimmy hadn’t left her for a mid-life crisis, he’d been having another sort of crisis, and it had left it hard for her to trust any man.

  Evan opened her door. “Do you think I got you home before your curfew?”

  “It’s only nine o’clock. I think I’m safe from my son’s wrath.” She liked the way he chuckled easily and the sure way he took her hand. She felt as light as air as he accompanied her up the walkway.

  Those pesky nerves returned. Did she invite him in? Did she let him kiss her good night?

  “About Wednesday evening.” Evan stopped on the top step, clearly meaning to leave her by the door. “I’ll pick you up at the diner around seven?”

  He wanted to see her again. Why did that make her feel like she’d filled up with helium and was about to float away? She was way too practical for romantic foolishness. “I don’t remember saying that I would go with you. But then again, I’d hate to be the reason you decided not to go to Bible study.”

  “Then it’s a date.” The way he said it, wasn’t a question but a confirmation. As was the deliberate step he took in her direction.

  Was he going to kiss her? Something between panic and wonder held her locked in place as his mouth slanted over hers. The first brush of his warm lips to hers was the sweetest she’d ever known.

  Tenderness filled her like a slow, sweet waltz, and when he moved away into the shadows off the porch, she swore she could hear music.

  “Good night, Paige. I’ll see you soon.” He left her standing in the glow of the porch light, bathed in raindrops and alight with hope.

  Max was breathing on the other side of the door, a happy welcome-home pant that, since he was such a big dog, was louder than the rain tapping all around her. She felt wrapped in a warm pure glow, staring into the direction of the idling truck.

  A dark figure cut through the headlights, the dome light appeared and disappeared. She spun and bolted through the door. Max was bounding up and down on all fours, his doggy mouth stretched in a happy grin.

  She stroked the top of his wide head with her hand. The puppy Alex had begged her for had grown into a one-hundred-and-twenty-three-pound giant, and he was still growing. The sleek, powerful dog took up most of the available space in the foyer, and she had to reach around him to hang her jacket up on the set of hooks by the door.

  Only when she saw the streak of mud across the side of the garment did she remember she’d been out in the muddy field. And her shoes were caked with it. She’d completely lost her mind, apparently, and tracked mud into the house.

  Great going, Paige. A single kiss was all it took for her to lose control of her good sense.

  Oh, well, it had been a lovely evening. And Evan—why, she really liked him. Too much for her own good. Too much for the safety of her heart. He was a good man, she knew that. But it was a long rocky road to trusting a man enough for…well, whatever lay ahead. If they made it that far. Her future and what direction it was going to take was a big question mark.

  As she kicked off her shoes and set them to dry by the heater vent, she saw Alex’s light on downstairs. If he was studying, she didn’t want to interrupt him. That was her excuse. She really didn’t want to interrupt him, because she didn’t want to answer any questions about her date.

  Not that she could avoid questions forever, but she needed time to make sense of things. Nothing had been what she’d expected tonight. She couldn’t remember a time in her adult life when a man had more than exceeded her expectations in every way.

  The phone rang. When Alex didn’t pick up, she gave away her presence in the house by snatching up the kitchen extension. “Hello?”

  “Paige?” Someone was crying—one of the twins. “Paige? Are
you, like, really busy right now?”

  “Of course not. Where are you? I’ll come over.”

  “N-no.” Brianna sobbed, stuttering. “We’re almost to y-your house. Mom and Keith got into this b-bad fight—”

  Paige ached for the girls. Their mother had married a man who was better at drinking and gambling than at holding down a job, and Paige constantly worried about the girls’ welfare. There was only so much she could do, but she did what she could. “Of course, you come right on over. The porch light is on, and I’ll whip up some hot chocolate.”

  “With sp-sprinkles?” she asked through a sob.

  “Absolutely. You girls drive safely. Promise?”

  “O-okay. Brandilyn’s dr-driving. She’s, like, way b-better at it than me.”

  After saying goodbye, Paige left the cordless receiver on the counter and went in search of the special secret recipe cocoa mix she’d brought home from the diner. There was a jar of it somewhere.

  “Hey, Mom.” Alex startled her. He was in the entryway next to his dog. “Who’s coming over?”

  “The twins. How’s the homework going?”

  “It’s going. Why are you all muddy?”

  “Annie got out again. She figured out how to open the gates. Could you go figure something out to hold her in until the morning?”

  “Sure. Oh, I forgot. I need this form thing signed for school tomorrow.” He shoved a piece of paper toward her before he dropped into one of the bar chairs on the other side of the counter. “It’s for our field trip to the Museum of the Rockies. So, how went the big date?”

  “Fine. We had dinner. We talked. We came home.” Paige opened the drawer next to her, pulled a pen out of the organizer, and signed the form. “Is that field trip this week?”

  “Friday. You changed the subject.”

  “No, I was finished telling you about my date.” She pulled a saucepan out of the lower cabinet and plunked it on the stove. “Wait, I can see those wheels turning in your brain, so listen up. No, I’m not in love with him. No, I’m not planning on marrying him—”

  “He’d be like my stepdad. Never thought I’d get one at my advanced age.”

  “You can’t look into the future. I can’t look into the future, so drop it. Are you worried about that, about me marrying one day?”

  “Worried? Nah, I’m not worried. I just don’t want to go off to college and leave you alone.”

  “It’s your job to grow up and move away. It’s mine to make sure that you do—” She took the milk from the fridge and set it on the counter as the doorbell rang. Max barked joyously. “Could you get that dog?”

  “He’s so well-trained.” Alex rolled his eyes, grinned, and jogged to hold the black-masked rottweiler back so Paige could muscle open the door.

  The girls were rain-soaked and tear-stained and in emotional tatters. Setting her thoughts of Evan aside, she helped them carry their overnight bags down the hall to the guest bedroom next to hers, drew each girl a bath in separate bathrooms and got them to soaking.

  Such was her life. She took care of others first and didn’t get a moment to herself until it was after midnight.

  Evan. Just thinking his name lessened the shadows in her soul.

  Paige. Evan had thought of little else in the last twenty-two hours.

  It had been a typical Monday with disasters by the truckload, but he’d tackled meeting after meeting and one conference phone call after another with unusual efficiency. Nothing had dimmed his happiness. He was in a good mood because he couldn’t get Paige out of his mind. Or their kiss.

  Tenderness filled him. He pulled his truck to a parking spot in front of the diner and checked his reflection in the visor mirror. His hair was still a little damp from his shower at the gym, but he’d had a good day, a good workout and he was looking forward to a good evening—because he’d be seeing Paige in about two minutes.

  The evening was cool and bright as he stepped onto the curb and spotted her through the rose-hued window. Sunset blazed overhead, painting the street with a soft glow, and the light seemed to find Paige in the dining room, falling across her lovely face like a touch from heaven.

  I’m not ready to care so much so soon.

  This was not the take-it-slow, one-step-at-a-time pace that he’d planned. As he pushed through the door and she turned as if she sensed his presence, he felt a click in his heart, like a key turning in a long-unused lock, like a door opening and sunlight flooding inside for the first time. He felt renewed as their gazes locked.

  There was no hiding the gleam of warmth that lit her sapphire eyes or the secret quirk of a smile in the corners of her soft mouth. Remembering their kiss, remembering the connection they’d shared last night, he took one step forward and another to his usual seat at the counter.

  “I see you found your way here tonight.” Paige brought her smile and a menu. “You know the usual Monday specials, and we also have a grilled salmon special.”

  “So, that’s how you’re going to greet me, huh?”

  She blushed. “Now you want preferential customer treatment? How about a complimentary soda?”

  When she looked down at the counter, as if it held some great interest, he could feel as plainly as if the emotions were his own, her shyness. This was new to them both. “I seem to remember how we said goodbye last night.”

  Her cheeks blushed harder, but there was a twinkle in her eye as she reached for the soda cups. “Oh, and you thought you might get something similar with a hello?”

  “A guy can hope.”

  “This is a place of business, I’ll have you know.” She filled the cup with ice and then cola. “If it’s not on the menu, then it’s not served.”

  Okay, he had a sense of humor, too. “So, what do I have to do? Ask for a rain check?”

  “Maybe.” She slipped the beverage on the counter in front of him. “I’ll be back. The twins are not having a good day.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

  His question took Paige by surprise. He wanted to help her? Evan, I’m going to fall so hard in love with you if you keep saying things like that to me.

  The pathway was so familiar, she could probably do an entire shift with her eyes closed tight, but suddenly moving forward seemed to take tremendous effort. It was as if the air had suddenly become heavy and she had to wade instead of walk.

  Why did her entire being want to keep her from moving away from this man?

  Because something in him drew her and the hold was stronger every time she was around him. She was a practical woman; she always prided herself on her good sense. Those traits seemed to have abandoned her now. One date and she was smitten. One kiss, and she’d hardly been able to focus on her day’s work.

  Brandilyn was in deep conversation with the Whitley family at table sixteen. She’d gotten their orders wrong. While the customers had been polite, Brandilyn burst into tears.

  Paige laid her hand on the girl’s shoulder, gave her a quick hug, and told her to take a much-needed break. By the time she’d sorted out what had gone wrong and how to fix it, and apologized profusely, several tables had finished and were heading up the aisle to queue up at the front counter to pay.

  Instead of her mind being focused on asking Dave through the pass-through window to get a rush on the Whitleys’ changes and hurrying to the till to ring up the sales, what was she doing?

  Watching Evan. Noticing the way he sat so strong and straight. How those wide shoulders of his looked solid enough to carry any burden.

  What should she do? He was a dream, and she didn’t have time to dream.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The next time Paige was able to catch a breath, she noticed Evan’s chair was empty. Brianna was bussing his plate. The rush had hit, she’d been caught in the back, and now, an hour later as the dinner crowd was thinning, he was gone. And she hadn’t gotten the chance to say goodbye.

  “He left about five minutes ago.” Dave gave a New York strip a flip on th
e grill and sprinkled seasoning across it. “Seemed to be looking around, like he was trying to find you to say goodbye. But that’s when the twins’ stepdad came to the back door and you went outside with him. Don’t worry, Evan’ll be back tomorrow.”

  “He’ll be back as a customer.”

  “As a customer only? Nah, no customer looks at you the way he does.”

  “And what way would that be? As someone too busy to talk to him?”

  “Nope.” Dave grabbed a baked potato from the warmer. “As a man who’s serious.”

  Serious. There was that word again. She’d never felt she had much in common with Cinderella before, but that’s what this reminded her of. Last night’s outing had been wonderful but it was way out of the ordinary. She was no beauty to make a man fall in love with her. She was no princess. Paige McKaslin had lines on her face, and gray hair she had her hairdresser color, and more responsibility than she would ever have free time.

  Last night she’d put her bookkeeping aside to go out with him, thinking she could do it when she came home, and then the twins had landed on her doorstep. The girls had been in tears most of the night, distraught over their stepfather’s drunken behavior and his terrible fight with their mother.

  Tonight looked to be filled with even more drama and upset for the girls. And now the bookwork needed urgent attention.

  Everything needed urgent attention.

  The door swung open, jingling the welcome bell overhead. Paige automatically put a smile on her face, ready to greet whoever had stepped into her family’s diner, and saw with relief that it was Alex and his girlfriend. She’d had a good talk with Beth before the lunch rush and had seen some real character in her. She was willing to work hard, and her reference from Misty at the drive-in was stellar.

  “Thank you for hiring me, Mrs. McKaslin.” Beth’s thick hair was tied back at her nape and she’d come in comfortable shoes. “Here’s the paperwork that you wanted, all filled out.”

  “You’ll have to call me Paige, since you’re working for me. Go ahead and put your things in back. Alex will show you where. Grab a bin and we’ll start with bussing.”