The Devil Is a Part-Timer!, Vol. 3

by Satoshi Wagahara

  It was barely noticeable, and it disappeared in the blink of an eye.

  Chiho sighed. The event didn’t seem to bring about any major changes, but it was a timely reminder that this infant was a being from another world.

  Still, all she could do was approach Alas Ramus with the kind of love she thought she needed. She hugged her tightly.

  “Ahp!”

  Alas Ramus blurted out in surprise.

  Watching on, Ashiya put his hands on the floor, all but defeated in spirit.

  “Truly, I am no match whatsoever for you, Ms. Sasaki… How embarrassing it is! Yes, embarrassing to let my previous name as the demon forces’ master strategist go to my head…! And such deft maneuvering you demonstrated to me in the way of diaper application… Truly, the scales have fallen from my eyes…”

  The universe may be a vast, inscrutable place, but it still seemed fair to say Ashiya was the first and last demon to ever be asked to change a baby’s diaper during his quest to conquer the world. Even so, he deeply regretted the dishonor he showed at failing the task.

  Chiho, unable to find the words to console him, turned to the wall clock in an attempt to distract him instead.

  “When do you think Yusa will come back?”

  “Once her work is complete, I would imagine. No sooner than six in the evening.”

  “You know Emi’s work shifts, Suzuno?”

  “No, but I did lie in ambush for her once.”

  Chiho had no context to rely on for this sudden confession, but a glance at the bag she brought in reminded her of something.

  “I’m sorry, Suzuno, but there’s a notebook with a pink cover in my bag. I stuck a piece of paper right under the cover, but could you get that out for me?”

  “Certainly. One moment… Is this it?”

  Suzuno unfolded the paper for Chiho, her hands occupied with holding Alas Ramus still at the moment, and presented it to her.

  “Lemme see… Today Maou’s shift supervisor from morning until past the lunch rush. Kisaki’s scheduled to show up after that, and… Oh, he’s getting off early today. Four PM, it says.”

  It was a handwritten shift schedule, drawn up by Kisaki for her staff as a portable version of the on-site attendance spreadsheet. It was currently two thirty in the afternoon, according to Chiho’s phone.

  “…Oh, I know! Say, would you mind if I took Alas Ramus to MgRonald?”

  “Pardon?”

  “What?”

  Neither Ashiya nor Suzuno were capable of a yes-or-no answer.

  “Well, I think she’s gonna be pretty bored, cooped up in here all day. Maybe if we took her on a walk, she’d get in a better mood and remember something about her past for us. That, and she can get to see ‘Daddy’ quicker, too.”

  “Daddy!”

  Alas Ramus, in Chiho’s arms, quickly brightened at the word, raising her arms in delight. She truly loved Daddy like no other.

  But Ashiya raised his head up from his depressed stupor to object.

  “I do not understand why my liege decided to take Alas Ramus in, but as long as we do not know the origin of this child, I feel it dangerous to bring her out in public…”

  “No. I agree with Chiho. We may have had quite a tumultuous time with her, but if we wish to make any progress, I feel we need to seize the initiative. The societal mores of this country would likely grow unfriendly before long to the idea of you caring for an unknown child. What if Alas Ramus fell ill? Would you take her to the doctor uninsured, without any documentation to prove you are related?”

  Ashiya fell silent to this justifiable counterpoint.

  Suzuno looked at Alas Ramus, comfortable within Chiho’s arms, the bawling from before now a near-forgotten nightmare of the past.

  “There is nothing to fear. I am confident enough that I can handle myself against your run-of-the-mill angel or demon. Once things are set into motion, we can decide what to do once circumstances change. That would be good for her, and for you as well, no?”

  “…Yes. But…”

  “And also note, Alciel, that no matter what our situation is, no matter how we clashed in the past, we are all in agreement right now on one central point—that we need to keep Alas Ramus protected, heart and soul.”

  “Dude, I never said that.”

  Everyone ignored the voice emanating from the closet.

  “In which case, I think it a fine idea to take Alas Ramus outside. It is the best thing for her health and happiness.”

  Suzuno’s gaze turned toward the closet.

  “I also feel that his presence is having a deleterious effect on her upbringing.”

  “Agreed.”

  Chiho nodded eagerly.

  “Hey, stop ragging on me!”

  He was aware of the pejoratives against him, but it still wasn’t enough to lure him out—a telltale sign of how unwilling he was to improve his attitude.

  “…Very well. But as my liege’s faithful servant, I cannot simply pass off the child he agreed to take care of without a second thought! I will come with her. On that condition, she may go outside.”

  Ashiya wolfed down the remainder of his bento with remarkable speed as he spoke, mumbling the words as he drained one of Suzuno’s energy drinks.

  It was a difficult sight to believe, considering Ashiya’s usual anal-retentiveness about table manners. But, the instant the drink was emptied:

  “Nh!”

  With a groan, Ashiya collapsed flat on his back.

  “Ashiya?!”

  Chiho hurried to his side. Ashiya stared into space for a moment, clearly in pain, before gently closing his eyes, as if breathing his last.

  “Ooo, Al-cell sleepy!”

  The carefree Alas Ramus was in stark contrast to the aghast Chiho. Suzuno couldn’t have put something in that drink to strike a final blow against the demons. Could she?

  “Grrrnnnkkk…”

  But, the next moment, Ashiya let out an enormous snoring sound, mouth wide open.

  “…Well, that was the telling blow, I suppose.”

  Suzuno shook her head in disbelief.

  “I woke up several times last night, and I was in another room. Listening to Alas Ramus’s wailing from inches away must have pushed Alciel over the brink.”

  Warily watching the closet door, Suzuno picked up the small bottle Ashiya dropped as he fell.

  “Emilia gave this to me yesterday. It was not the gentlest approach, I grant you, but without this, I doubt Alciel would ever allow himself any rest. Illness would come soon after, and I have noticed by now is that whenever Alciel is too ill to go on, the demons around him have a tendency to make things even worse.”

  Suzuno was pointing to the energy shot in her hand. The bottle read “5-Holy Energy β,” a brand wholly unfamiliar to Chiho, and its ingredient list was written in a script she had never seen before.

  “…What’s that written there?”

  “The Ente Islan language. Think of it as a sort of…relaxant, for demons.”

  Judging by Suzuno’s careful eye on the closet door, Chiho surmised this wasn’t something she wanted her demonic neighbors knowing about.

  “Hey, that reminds me…”

  Chiho looked at Alas Ramus, then Ashiya, his snoring reminiscent of a jet engine.

  “Alas Ramus… You know Ashiya’s name, don’t you? You said ‘Al-cell.’”

  “Ooo?”

  Alas Ramus, still in Chiho’s arms, held a finger in her mouth as she returned Chiho’s gaze. Chiho thought a bit as she looked into those large, expressive eyes.

  “Alas Ramus?”

  “Yeh?”

  She raised a limber arm. Even that was enough to make Chiho smile.

  “My name is Chiho.”

  “Chee-o?”

  “Chi-ho. Although Daddy likes to call me ‘Chi.’”

  “Chi-cha!”

  Alas Ramus’s face brightened, as if she was reminded of something.

  “Daddy’s friend!”

  “Now, now, Ala
s Ramus…”

  Suzuno interjected from the side.

  “Chiho is more of an elder sister to you. ‘Chi’ would be far too informal.”

  “Oooo? Oo?”

  “Try it. Call her ‘Chiho, my sister.’”

  Alas Ramus, apparently taking the criticism to heart, tensed up her body and looked straight at Chiho’s face.

  “Chio…mmm…”

  She tried to ruminate over Suzuno’s command.

  “Chi-Sis!”

  That was her final interpretation.

  “Oh, that is so cuuuuute!!”

  Deeply moved by this show of affection, Chiho rubbed cheeks with Alas Ramus once more.

  “Chi-Sis, Chi-Sis…”

  The child repeated it over and over, pointing a finger at Chiho to make sure she had it right. Then her eyes turned to Suzuno, adjacent to her…and she stared. And stared. And stared.

  “…Oo.”

  “Wh-what…?”

  Suzuno swallowed nervously, bowled over by this odd confrontation.

  “And you know who this lady is? This is Suzuno. She’s kind of a big sister, too.”

  Chiho, picking up on what Alas Ramus was thinking, came to the rescue. Running this data through her internal computation engine, the child quickly came up with her reply.

  “Suzu-Sis!”

  She defiantly pointed at her, daring her to claim otherwise. Waves of crimson flooded toward Suzuno’s face.

  “Suzu-Sis… Mm. Oh. Hmm. No. That is fine, but… Mm.”

  “Chi-Sis, Suzu-Sis!”

  Alas Ramus shouted the names, one after the other, as if attempting to fuse them into her brain. The last time she did that, it was with Maou and Emi.

  “Awwwww, I can’t get enough of you!!”

  “There…there is no need to parrot it endlessly like that…! And stop looking at me with those eyes! This is unfair! She is just too darling to bear!”

  The women blushed with glee as they cackled to each other.

  “…You girls are acting so stupid.”

  They were crudely interrupted by a sudden voice from the closet. The two of them glared back grimly.

  Straddling Ashiya’s unresponsive body, Suzuno stood in front of the closet door and gave it several loud smacks with her palm.

  “Agh!!”

  She could hear the surprised Urushihara flail about inside.

  “I presume you heard us. Chiho and I are going to take Alas Ramus outside. Tell that to Alciel once he wakens. We will return by the time Emilia or the Devil King are finished with work.”

  “All right. Fine. Dude, you really scared me. If anything goes wrong, I’m not here, okay?”

  “That is the fervent wish of all of us, but surely you could serve as our walking, talking memo pad, at least.”

  “…Since when are you all in the same clique now? It’s like, there’s me, and then there’s everyone else. You girls are human!”

  “I invite you to ask the question to yourself. Even the bitterest of foes may unite for a common cause at times. But there is no common cause to be found in defending you!”

  “Luciffar, useless?”

  Alas Ramus quizzically watched the closet-door conversation, referring to Urushihara by his real name.

  She made herself heard through the door, apparently. Suzuno could feel the agitation from the other side. Then she left one final parting shot.

  “Children do pick up on things quickly, do they not? And they are so honest, too.”

  Three PM.

  A shout rang out, echoing across the MgRonald eatery near Hatagaya station.

  “Daddy!!”

  The shout, clearly pointed in a carefully aimed direction, coursed its way directly toward a single individual.

  Everyone inside looked at the source of the sound, then where it was directed. Then time stopped.

  One crewmember forgot all customer service duties. Another lost his grip on the tray he was carrying. A third forgot to remove her finger from the drink dispenser button, sending orange juice overflowing into the drain below.

  The beepy little jingle that indicated a batch of fries was done cooking played over the farcical scene from the kitchen.

  The target, stabbed by a heartrending bolt of lightning, stood there in confusion for a moment, looking like he neither believed his eyes, nor his ears, nor in the inherent fairness of the world itself. The color returned to his range of view the moment every crewmember in the restaurant turned their eyes toward him.

  “!!!!!!”

  It was the very definition of a silent scream.

  From the other side of the counter, Sadao Maou was instantly shot forward by an invisible catapult, flinging him at light speed toward the source of the thunderbolt.

  “Daddyyy!”

  Chiho and Suzuno stood there by the doorway, frozen by this instantaneous change in atmosphere. In Chiho’s arms, there was Alas Ramus, the tiny little apple girl, who must have thought her beloved daddy was rushing toward her for a warm embrace.

  “Hooowwww coooooouuuuld yoooooouuuuuu?!”

  Maou confronted the pair of women, his face so white that he was liable to pass out, foaming at the mouth, at any moment.

  “Why did you bring her in here?! This… I mean, this isn’t even funny!”

  “Um… I’m sorry. I just thought it’d make Alas Ramus happy…”

  “She was crying out to see you. And we thought a chance of scenery would help stimulate her past memories. So we brought her here.”

  Chiho, sensitive to the gestalt around the dining area, began to consider whether this visit would have dire consequences for her. Suzuno couldn’t have cared less.

  Alas Ramus, clearly in Suzuno’s camp, started squirming in Chiho’s grasp, hands reaching out for Maou.

  “Daddy, Daaaddy!”

  “Agh! Hey, stop moving around…”

  “Please, stop repeating that!”

  Maou found himself providing support for Alas Ramus, who had almost managed to wriggle herself free of Chiho’s embrace.

  “Daddyyyyy!”

  The expression on the girl’s face as Maou approached exploded into a broad, guileless smile as she coiled her arms around his neck.

  “Daddy! I’m here!”

  “You, you, you sure are, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

  Behind Maou and his dry, crackly laugh, the crewmembers didn’t even bother to speak in whispers.

  “That’s Maou and Sasaki’s kid?”

  “Dude, no way. If Maou actually did that, I’d take him out on the street and strangle him.”

  “Where’s Kisaki? ’Cause, man, if she hears about this, it’s gonna be a horror show.”

  “Ah, crap crap crap, the fries are burning!!”

  Curiosity, panic, and speculation were legion.

  “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… Maou, I’m, I’m sorry if this is bad or something…”

  Alas Ramus’s smile was a poor match for Maou’s twitching death mask. Chiho, noticing the enormous shadow sidling toward the man and the child, looked even more frozen than Maou.

  “What is it, Chiho? You look ill. Has the heat affected you?” Not even Suzuno’s misguided concern reached her ears. It was understandable, given what she saw behind Maou.

  “Helloooooooooooooo, Marrrrrkkoooooo!”

  Mayumi Kisaki, MgRonald manager, was standing there, her face resembling a Noh actor’s terrifying mask.

  “Eep!!”

  “Oo?”

  Maou arched his back, going bolt upright so quickly that his spine almost burst through his chest.

  “If my eyes aren’t deceiving me, that little girl Chi just brought in called you ‘Daddy,’ didn’t she? Hmmmmm?”

  Maou, realizing that Kisaki’s near bestial tone of voice immediately precluded any attempt at objecting, lying, or any other defense, gave the only answer he could.

  “…She did.”

  Chiho stood alongside him, both pale as a sheet of paper, as they waited for the next thunderbolt to rain down.

&n
bsp; But, even after several seconds, Kisaki showed no signs of movement. Slowly, Maou turned around, expecting the blow to come at any moment.

  There, he saw Kisaki, neither angry nor smiling, sigh as her eyebrows furrowed in distress. Then, her face surprisingly somber, she turned toward not Maou, not Chiho, but Suzuno.

  “You’re Maou and Sasaki’s friend, aren’t you? …Kamazuki, right?”

  Suzuno meekly nodded.

  “Would you mind if I spoke with Sasaki for a few moments?”

  “I… You may… I mean, sure. Anytime.”

  Suzuno struggled to adopt her speech to Kisaki’s more modern ears. It proved just as difficult as the last awkward time they met.

  “Thank you. Hey, Marko, show Ms. Kamazuki a seat for me. I’ll take the baby.”

  “Uh? Um, okay, but…”

  Without asking further permission, Kisaki lifted Alas Ramus from Maou’s hesitant arms. For a moment, he was relieved to find the child smiling and comfortable in her hands, not at all the ball of fury he expected.

  “Could you go to the staff break room for me, Chi? You, too, Marko, once you’re done seating her.”

  That made the blood drain from his face yet again.

  Chiho was no different, apparently, pensively following behind Kisaki as she strode behind the counter.

  Maou was left to watch with Suzuno.

  “…My apologies. This was, perhaps, too shallow-minded of me.”

  Even she was a little thrown by the chaos they had unwittingly seeded.

  “Nothing ‘perhaps’ about it, man…but I guess I got nothing to whine about. You were just trying to help her, so. Feel free to sit down over there wherever. You won’t have the AC blowing on your face that way.”

  Maou pointed out one corner of the dining area. Suzuno remained fixated on Maou.

  “I assumed you would be angrier.”

  “Oh? What do I have to be angry for? I mean, like, it kinda blew up in your face, but if anything, I gotta thank you for lending a hand. Sorry ’bout this.”

  Maou looked Suzuno in the eye, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

  “…I do not need a Devil King patronizing me.” Unable to accept his honest feelings, Suzuno turned her back to Maou as she launched the barb.

  Where did the Lord of All Demons get off, looking her in the eye every single time he dared to express appreciation to her?