Need to Love You

by Megan Smith

“I thought for sure we were caught but you played it off nicely by telling him you were going to wait back inside because you were cold.”

  I laugh through the tears. “And he bought it, hook, line, and sinker.”

  “Remember that night we were talking late into the night and that’s the time I asked you to be my girlfriend.”

  “And I said yes.”

  “You did. I wasn’t sure at first if you would because I was having you skip school, lying to your parents and whisking you away when you should have been studying but I knew I wanted you to be my girlfriend. There was something about you that made me feel…calm and safe, I guess.” Jackson huffs out a laugh. “I sound like a pussy.”

  “Stop it, you do not.”

  “I just felt like I could be myself around you. Mason and Cooper always had my mom and dad’s attention and then of course there was my sister too. I never felt like I connected with them in a way. I don’t know if I’m explaining this right but whatever. I noticed you back in freshman year, then again in our sophomore year but junior year I knew I had to make my move. We had been flirting the more we hung out while you were tutoring me. The day I found you crying in the locker room I knew I had my opening.”

  A tear slipped down my cheek.

  Jackson wiped it away with his thumb. He found me in the girl’s locker room crying after I failed my biology test. I hated failing anything, least of all something I spent so much time studying for.

  Jackson pulled me onto his lap while we sat on the cold tile floor in a smelly locker room. He placed a kiss on my temple then another just below my ear, then my jaw, then the corner of my mouth. He pulled back to look at me. I loved his eyes, loved the way he followed me with them when it’s just the two of us like this. No friends, no brothers, no sister, just us.

  “I’m sorry,” Jackson whispered to me.

  Jackson has yet to kiss me on the lips. We’ve been spending time together after school while I help him with some of the work he’s fallen behind on. I’ve wanted him to kiss me for months now, from that first time I literally ran into him in gym glass our freshman year. I was scrawny, had no boobs, couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on with my hair and wore thick rimmed glasses. There was no way that Jackson Cahill could ever want to kiss me.

  He leaned in to kiss me on the lips this time and then he gently nipped at my bottom lip. My stomach was doing somersaults and my palms started to sweat as I had them fisted in my lap. I had to admit with the way he was looking at me it gave me a little courage though, I threw all negative thoughts out the window. I licked the seam of his lips wanting access quickly before my nerves kicked back in. Jackson pulled me closer to him but there wasn’t any more room between us really. He moved me around so that I was straddling him then. Our tongues collided turning the kiss into a desperate need. Our teeth crashed together but it hadn’t stopped us. I grabbed the back of Jackson’s head gripping his hair between my fingers while he wrapped his arms around my waist. Before I even knew what was happening I was pinned underneath him. The cold floor was the only thing cooling my body off, I felt like I was on fire. My Biology test long forgotten.

  My panties were wet, that was something new, I’d never felt like that before. I slid my shaking legs around Jackson’s waist anchoring him to me in the heat of the moment. I had no clue what I was really doing. I was just going off of things I read in books and seen on television.

  He turned his head breaking the kiss. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  Embarrassment crashed over me. I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees. I was looking anywhere but at Jackson because I knew I’d see the regret of kissing me in his eyes.

  “Chloe.”

  With my head still turned I answered him, “Yeah?”

  “Come somewhere with me?”

  This time I did turn my head just a little wondering exactly he was asking. “Where are we going?”

  He gave me the devilish Cahill smile. “My car.”

  Jackson stood and held his hand out for me. I grabbed it letting him pull me up. “Can you make sure I’m back in time before the buses leave?”

  “I’ll try.” Jackson winked.

  I dug my feet into the ground stopping him from pulling me along. “I’m serious, my parents will kick my ass.”

  He bent his knees slightly so he was eye level with me then reached up with one hand to push a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I promise to make sure you’re back in time.”

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  Jackson and I snuck out of school before the first lunch bell rang. We had two hours before we had to get back. I knew we were heading to his car but I had no idea where we were going after that. I knew we couldn’t sit in the parking lot because we would get in trouble and get a detention. I was not about to let that happen.

  About twenty minutes later we were sitting in his car by the lake near our school. It was a secluded area that I heard about from the girls talking in school. I had a feeling that we were going to finish what we started back in the locker room. My nerves started to settle back in. What could he really want with me? I’m not like the other girls he hangs around with.

  Jackson laid his seat back and I followed his lead. Minutes later he was leaning over kissing me again just like he had before. Jackson’s hand had started to make its way up my side and was resting just below my boob. My whole body was trembling and I knew that he could feel every tremor of my inexperience.

  “Don’t be nervous,” Jackson said when we came up to catch our breaths.

  “I’m trying,” I whispered.

  Jackson placed a gentle kiss on my lips before he smiled and climbed into the backseat. “Come back here.”

  I didn’t hesitate this time. I wanted to be as close to him as I could for as long as I could.

  We started kissing again and soon I found myself lying on my back in the backseat with Jackson hovering above me.

  Jackson’s right hand was running up and down my body while his left arm was holding him up. He reached for the end of my shirt and slid his hand up. His warm fingers touched my flat stomach just above the button of my jeans. My hips lifted of their own accord. I needed to relieve some of the pressure between my legs. I thought for sure I was about to go crazy any second. Just kissing Jackson made me feel things I’ve never felt before.

  Jackson groaned into my mouth and pushed down with his hips causing some friction where I needed it. This time I moaned.

  He broke the kiss as he lifted his upper body so that he could push my shirt up. His fingers brushed against the bottom of my bra of my left breast. I sucked in a deep breath. No one had ever touched me there before and I wasn’t sure what to expect, what to do. This was Jackson Cahill doing this. The Cahill were like royalty in this town.

  Jackson saw my hesitation and took that as a sign to back off. I reached to where his hand just was and pushed my bra up and over my boob. My nipple was already pebbled so as his hand slid over it, it puckered even more.

  “Fuck,” Jackson said. He dipped his head down and pulled my left nipple into his mouth. It felt amazing and I never wanted him to stop. He lightly bit down causing my back to arch in an attempt to get closer. “You like that?”

  “Mmmhmm.”

  Jackson repeated the same movements on the other side while I ran my fingernails up and down his back. With his mouth still playing he rolled his hips applying pressure but then suddenly he started to sit up. I started to panic, thinking he was going to pull away since things started getting hot and heavy between us.

  “Relax,” Jackson whispered.

  Jackson kissed me again as he pulled my shirt down. His fingertips moved the waist band of the shorts I had on.

  “Has anyone ever touched you here?” Jackson asked.

  The butterflies were so bad in my stomach that I started shaking. My heart was racing and my mouth was suddenly dry. I couldn’t talk so I shook my head no.

  He started to move his fingers away but I stopped him. “Ple
ase,” I begged. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was begging for because I’d never felt like this with anyone and I had no clue what was about to really happen. I mean I knew but I wasn’t sure how it was going to work with the two of us. Would he just use me this one time and toss me to the side? I’ve seen other girls hanging around Jackson plenty of times, seen what Mason, his younger brother, did with other girls.

  “I shouldn’t.”

  I tilted my head to the side wondering why he would say something like that. I didn’t want him to stop even if it meant I was tossed away. At least this part of my life would be over and I wouldn’t be so damn nervous the next time.

  Jackson chuckled.

  My cheeks burned.

  “If you stop...” I trailed off as Jackson laughed.

  “I got you.”

  Jackson slid to the floor with the space he had given himself by moving the seat up. He positioned me so I was still able to lay back but he was between my legs. He gently moved his hands down between my legs and started rubbing in just the right spot. I wanted to clamp my legs shut but I wasn’t sure I could. He leaned forward and started sucking and nipping at my neck. With every circle of his fingers I felt like I was seconds from exploding. Jackson sensing that started to slow down and then eventually stop. He didn’t move his hand but he looked deep into my eyes. Jackson glanced around before tugging my shorts down a little without pulling them down. It gave him a little room to push my shorts and panties to the side. My thighs were shaking uncontrollably.

  “You okay?”

  I nodded.

  Jackson very gently slipped a finger inside me. He didn’t move it right away; he let me get used to the feeling. It was a weird feeling at first but then I felt comfortable and couldn’t take it anymore. I pushed my hips up, silently telling him to move his finger. He pulled almost all the way out then slid it back in. This time when he did it, it felt different. He did the same thing again only this time he pushed in until his knuckles pressed up against my clit. I cried out from the feeling. Well that explained it; he didn’t push all the way in the first time.

  Jackson pumped his finger in and out a few more times. I was wiggling around on the seat so much. I fisted the hem of my shirt needing something to hold onto and Jackson was just too far away.

  A little tickle settled in my lower stomach, my legs froze along with my breathing.

  Jackson noticed and applied a little more pressure. “Come, Chloe,” he encouraged.

  He leaned to the side and crashed his lips down to mine just before I felt the first wave of pure bliss glide through me. I felt like I was floating from the intensity.

  “Fuck,” Jackson said ripping his mouth away from mine panting hard.

  I was officially hooked for life on Jackson Cahill.

  When he removed his hand from my shorts Jackson maneuvered us around so that he was sitting on the backseat and I was draped acrossed his body. Every little movement from me was causing him to hiss. I had a feeling why but I was still so nervous even after what we just did. I’ve read enough romance books to know that Jackson was probably still hard since he hadn’t gotten off himself.

  I glanced up to see his eyes were closed and he was breathing hard. “Jackson…”

  He opened his lust filled eyes slowly. I used my one arm to brace myself as I slid myself further back on his legs instead of his body. With a shaking hand I reached up to touch his lips with my finger then slowly slid it down his chin, neck, chest, stomach and stopped right at the hem of his shirt where it had ridden up to the waistband of his jeans.

  “What are you doing?” His husky voice washed over me.

  “What you did for me.”

  Without giving him a second to think or say anything I flicked the button of his jeans open then pulled the zipper down. Jackson sprung free with the tip of his penis poking out of his jeans.

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  I adjusted myself again so that I was sitting on the seat beside him. I reached back over and placed my hand over top of him. “I need your…” I looked away feeling embarrassed.

  Jackson gripped my chin and turned my head towards him. “Help?”

  I nodded my head.

  Jackson sat up a little bit to pull his shirt over his head then tossed it up on the front seat. I sucked in a breath earning a smirk from Jackson. His body was perfect, something like you see in a magazine. His toned chest, his well defined six-pack, the sculpted V along his hips wasn’t anything I was expecting.

  He took my hand and wrapped it around his hard length. Covering his hand with mine he guided me up and down a few times. “Just like that.”

  I did as he showed me, his leg muscles tensing everytime I pulled up. His breathing started to come out in pants. “Squeeze a little harder,” he instructed.

  I was mesmerized as his hips started thrusting faster into my hand. Moments later, body strung as tight as a cord, his hips glued to the seat he reached down, and wrapped his hand around mine again. He slowed my movements to a jerk as the first stream of his release splashed against his stomach followed by another and another and another.

  I couldn’t look away until he started chuckling. “What’s the matter?”

  Embarassed, I made myself look away. “Nothing.”

  Jackson took my opened hand and kissed the center of my palm. “That was good.”

  He had to have just been saying that, there is no way it’s true.

  “Look at me, Chloe.” I slowly turned my head back towards him. “I’ve never came that fast before from just jerking off.”

  “Honestly?”

  “Honestly.” Jackson looked down to the mess on his stomach. “Can you grab some napkins that are in the glove box?”

  Reaching across the front seat I opened the glove box and grabbed the napkins for him. After he was done cleaning himself off he put his shirt back on.

  Jackson slid his hand behind my neck and brought me closer to his face so he could kiss me. “What are you doing to me?” he said huskily.

  I wished I had the answer but I didn’t. All I knew was I’d never get enough of Jackson Cahill.

  My cheeks flush as I remember that day so well. “You played off my emotional state,” I tease him.

  He smirks. “It worked.”

  Jackson’s phone vibrates in his pocket. I scoot back so that he can dig in his pocket and get it. He looks down at the screen then tucks it back in his pocket. “Dinner is ready. I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay.”

  He hops out of the truck to jog over to the building to grab our dinner. He’s really pulling out the stops with this date. I didn’t even think he remembered our first date, not only did he remember, but he remembered the first time we made out in his car too.

  A few minutes later as I see him coming back I push open the door for him and take the food. He climbs back in and then rubs his hands together. “It’s getting cold out there.”

  It’s the first full week of November and the temperatures are starting to really cool now. “Yeah, I know. Thankfully we can leave the truck running.”

  Jackson gets this little mysterious look in his eyes. “I can think of a few ways to keep each other warm.”

  I roll my eyes playing him off. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  Jackson chuckles as he reaches for his hamburger while I snatch one of his fries. He smiles, “Take more.”

  I grab another one and sit back in my seat. Jackson turns the radio to the station solely dedicated to the movie. It starts minutes later while we finish up our food. When we’re done I put it all in the bag and place it on the floor to throw away after the movie. Jackson slides me back over to the middle seat and wraps his arm around me the entire time the movie is playing.

  Every touch, caress, leaves me wanting to lean in and kiss Jackson. I’ve barely paid attention to the movie because I’m so distracted. The sad thing, Jackson knows what he’s doing. He keeps watching me out of the corner
of his eye. Any other time and I’d be able to ignore him but I haven’t had sex since Alex’s first day of kindergarten a few weeks ago and I have needs that haven’t been taken care of.

  Finally the movie ends but Jackson doesn’t make a move to leave or even move his arm. He waits till almost all the cars are gone before sliding the hand that is resting on my shoulder to the back of my neck.

  “You’re making this hard on me.” Hard…my mind instantly wanders down that path wondering if Jackson is hard.

  “What are you talking about?” I ask innocently.

  “Don’t,” he takes a deep breath through his nose. “I’m barely hanging on, Chloe.”

  It’s so nice knowing I’m affecting him as much as he is me. The hand still holding my neck gently turns my head to the side so I can see the want and need in Jackson’s eyes.

  “I’m trying to take this slow, but fuck…I don’t know for how long.” His hand slides into my hair at the nape of my neck and guides me closer to him. “This is your show to run because I fucked up, but don’t make me wait too long.”

  My eyes go from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes. His breathing is shallowing and it fuels my fire. I lean the rest of the way in and lay my lips on Jackson’s. His groan is deep within as I lick the seam of his lips and then gently bite his bottom lip. Jackson’s other free hand goes to my hip where he grips it firmly in his hand before slipping his tongue into my mouth. He’s slowly taking his time like he’s learning my mouth all over again. Jackson takes my tongue and sucks in causing me to moan.

  Slowly I take my hand and rest it over top of Jackson’s hard length that is straining against his jeans. Squeezing just a little Jackson jerks back.

  “Shit, we can’t do this,” he says pulling back. “I promised myself I wouldn’t do this tonight.”

  I take a deep breath trying to control my rapidly beating heart. “I wanted this,” I whisper hoping he hears me on one hand but not on the other. My heart and head are battling each other.

  He drops both of his hands from around me and leans his head back against the seat. “I know and I do too, but we need to do this slowly. I need to remind you and me why we are so good together.”