Need to Love You

by Megan Smith

  Jackson drops our bags just inside the door then steps over to the bed where he falls backwards on it. “Ahh, it feels like heaven.”

  I follow suit, when my body hits the bed it’s like I’m lying on a cloud. “Hmm, I’m not leaving this bed the entire weekend. Cancel the snow tubing.”

  He laughs then rolls over to kiss me. Things heat up quickly between us, before I know it our clothes are gone and we are caught up in our very own cloud of desire.

  When we are done Jackson takes my hand to lead me to the bathroom. A huge tub that fits the two of us perfectly is filled with warm water where the two of us relax together washing away any of this week’s stress. Jackson is the first to climb out disappearing back into the bedroom to grab clothes for us to change into. He helps me out of the tub and then helps me dress.

  We build a fire with the wood that was left out on the back deck and before long we are dozing off. I wake sometime in the middle of the night.

  “Jackson,” I nudge him with my elbow.

  “Hmm?”

  “Let’s go to bed.”

  He sits up rubbing his eyes. “Come on.”

  He holds my hand and guides me into the bedroom where we tuck ourselves under the blankets wrapped in each other’s arms.

  The next morning Jackson wakes me with breakfast in bed. Sitting up, I lean against the headboard while Jackson lays a tray over my lap.

  “Who are you and what have you done with my husband?”

  Jackson chuckles.

  I dip my pancake into the syrup he has in a little bowl, bringing it to my mouth. “Yumm…”

  “Good?”

  I nod and take another bite. When I’m finished Jackson sets the tray aside. “Want to hit the slopes for a little while?”

  “Sure.”

  We get up, start pulling our snow gear out and get dressed. I’ve got my one leg in my pants when I suddenly feel like I’m going to be sick. I stand up straight, take a deep breath and let it out slowly hoping it’ll pass like it has this last week.

  “Are you okay?”

  I hold a finger up letting him know I need a second. My stomach lurches and I know I’m about to lose my breakfast. I dart to the bathroom as quickly as I can with one leg still in my snow pants before emptying the contents of my stomach.

  When I’m finished I lean back against the wall trying to settle my stomach.

  “Guess you aren’t alright, huh?”

  Looking up to my handsome husband, “I feel better now.”

  He smirks, “I’m sure you do.”

  “I think it was just too much sugar and it didn’t settle right.” I hold my hand out for Jackson to help me to my feet. “Let me brush my teeth and then we can go.”

  “We don’t have to. We could just stay here and relax by the fire.”

  “No, really, I’m fine.”

  “Okay, if you are sure.”

  A few minutes later, Jackson and I hop into his truck and drive down to the slopes. We spend the rest of the morning and afternoon there having the time of our lives. We haven’t had this much fun in years.

  After we’re done we drive back up to the cabin. Jackson sends me for a bath because he has a surprise for me but I need to stay out of his hair. He comes and gets me when it’s ready.

  “Close your eyes and keep them closed.”

  “Okay,” as we step out of the bathroom into the hall the smell of food invades my senses. “Did you cook again?”

  Jackson laughs. “Just keep your eyes closed.”

  “So bossy.”

  “Okay, take a step to the left and sit down.”

  I do as he directs.

  “Now open your eyes.”

  Laid out in front of me is a pan of lasagna by candlelight.

  “You cooked this? How the hell did you do that?” I look around the kitchen and don’t see any pots or pans.

  He shrugs. “I had a little help.”

  I narrow my eyes.

  He laughs. “My mom made it for us so all I’d have to do was stick it in the oven.”

  Now it makes sense. “That was very sweet of you. You thought about everything.” I’m completely impressed. I figured we’d be ordering take out all weekend long.

  When dinner is done we clean up together then decide to start another fire and watch a little television completely spent from the day of tubing.

  “Be right back.” Jackson leans over and kisses my forehead.

  A few minutes pass by when he calls for me.

  “What?”

  “Can you come here for a second?”

  Sighing, I push the covers aside and walk down the hallway. When I walk into the bedroom there are candles lit on every surface in the room. Jackson is standing beside the door and holds his hand out for me.

  “What’s going on?”

  He leads me to the foot of the bed. A tiny trickle of sweat slides down the side of his face. His eyes are a wild shade of blue making them stand out against his pale winter skin.

  “Jackson?”

  “Shh,” he leans in to kiss me on the lips. Taking a step back he bends down on one knee.

  My hand comes up to cover my mouth.

  “I never gave you the perfect proposal that most girls get but our situation was a little different five years ago.”

  I start shaking and my eyes fill with tears.

  “We didn’t have much except each other really, but times have changed and you deserve it all now.” Jackson holds out a little black box and flips the lid back. Inside the box is a large princess cut diamond ring. It’s so much bigger than the one he first gave me. “We’ve been through a lot these last few months and I’d like to renew our wedding vows. Would you do me the honor?”

  Fully crying now I drop down to me knees and wrap my arms around Jackson. “Yes, yes, yes.”

  He laughs and holds me tightly. When I’ve got a handle on myself I lean back. He slips my old ring off and replaces it with the new.

  “It’s gorgeous.”

  “You like it?”

  “I love it.”

  “Good.” He looks away nervously. “I opened my mouth to MacKenzie the other night and told her what I was doing. She’s talked non-stop about all these ideas she had so just be prepared when we get back.”

  I laugh, it sounds just like MacKenzie. “It’s fine because with working now I don’t know how I’ll find the time.”

  “Whew, I was a little worried.”

  “Hell, she can plan the whole thing, seriously.” I don’t want to say this to Jackson since he just asked me to renew our vows but I don’t care if it’s only Jackson, me and Alex there.

  Jackson picks up my hand and kisses the new ring now on my finger. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  We make love again late into the night taking our time with each other’s bodies before falling asleep for a few hours and doing it all over again.

  When we wake up Sunday morning I’m sad that we’re leaving so soon. I feel like we just got here, but this weekend was perfect. Jackson and I were able to reconnect on a different level and our bond is now stronger than ever.

  A few days after Valentine’s Day in the middle of the night I wake up from a dead sleep with a start. My heart is beating a mile a minute as I lay here next to Jackson who is still sound asleep. I grab my phone off the table beside my bed, click on my period tracker app and scroll back to last month. I had my period from January fourth to the ninth. Scrolling back to this month it’s the eighteenth and still no period.

  I climb out of bed and pad into the bathroom. Reaching under the sink I grab the last pregnancy test that I have from when we were trying last year. As I’m staring at it I think there is no way this can be, can it? I’ve been feeling sick in the mornings and even sometimes in the afternoons and constantly being tired recently.

  Holy shit.

  I quickly do what I need to do, put the cap back on the test and then pace the bathroom for three minutes.

  I stop in
front of the sink covering my eyes. I’m so afraid to look. Peeking between my fingers I glance down.

  One pink line.

  Two pink lines.

  Moving my hand to make sure I’m not seeing things I stare down at the test again.

  Holy shit.

  I’m pregnant!

  I sit down on the edge of the tub. After all those months of trying to only get nowhere and now when we aren’t even trying anymore I get pregnant.

  What if this test isn’t correct? I’ve heard stories of incorrect readings.

  I take a deep breath. Calm down. Get up in the morning, go buy another test and see what it says.

  With my new plan in mind I slip back into bed with Jackson but stare off into the darkness until the sun rises and the alarm clock goes off.

  After kissing Jackson goodbye, getting myself and Alex ready I head out the door to drop him off at school. On my way to the pharmacy I call Renee to let her know I’m going to be just a little late for work. I rush back home with my new test and wait the next three minutes.

  One pink line.

  Two pink lines.

  I’m pregnant. Two tests confirm it. I’m going to have a baby.

  My phone rings and it startles me.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey,” MacKenzie says, “Did I catch you before you went into work? I wanted to go over a few things about the renewal.”

  “Uh, yeah sure, what’s up?”

  MacKenzie goes on and on while I stand here looking at the test thinking the lines are going to disappear.

  “So if all that is good we’re all set for next weekend.”

  “Um, yeah that sounds great.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “Okay, if you think of anything else give me a call.”

  “Will do, thanks again for handling all of this for us.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I enlisted MacKenzie to handle setting up the event. I am so not the planning type at all and nor do I have the time with working full time and taking care of Alex and Jackson when I get home. She was more than happy to do it. We gave her a budget, which I had a feeling she blew but won’t tell us, told her who we wanted invited and that we’d like to have it done at the end of February so that Mason and Cooper can be a part of it before they had to go away for spring training.

  As I’m sitting here thinking of how I’m going to tell Jackson and idea occurs to me. It’s perfect.

  Arriving at the winery that MacKenzie was able to score for us at such a short notice I’m swept away to the back to get changed. The hair appointment ran over causing me to be a little later than planned. Elle and MacKenzie help me into this simple but elegant white cocktail dress.

  “I love this dress,” Elle says as she places a hand on my shoulder.

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She turns to MacKenzie. “I’m going to take my seat next to your father. I’ll see you both very soon.”

  I stand in front of the full length mirror putting my pearl earrings in. “MacKenzie?”

  “Yeah?”

  Turning around to face her with tear filled eyes. “Thank you for doing this for us.” I wipe under my eyes, stupid hormones. “I’ve always thought of you as the little sister I never had but this goes over and beyond.”

  MacKenzie’s eyes mist over. “Thank you for allowing me to do this for you.”

  I hold my hands out to hug her.

  “Knock, knock,” someone says from the other side of the door.

  “I got it.”

  MacKenzie opens the door to find Cooper standing there. “Special delivery.”

  He walks in with a square box with a little pink bow on the top. I knew he would do this. He had been hinting about getting me something special for today but I insisted that I didn’t need anything.

  “Thank you,” I say taking it from Cooper.

  I pull the lid open and inside there is a diamond tennis bracelet. I had one before but lost it in the ocean last summer. “It’s beautiful.”

  “Here let me help you put it on.” MacKenzie takes the bracelet out of the box and fastens it around my wrist.

  God, I love that man.

  “Alright, my job here is done. I’ll see you two out there in a few minutes.”

  “Wait!” Walking over to my bag I pull out a necklace box wrapped in a cream colored paper. “Could you give this to Jackson for me before you sit down?”

  “Sure.” He takes the box and heads back out of the room.

  “Are you all set?”

  I take one more look in the mirror. Everything looks perfectly put together. “Yeah.”

  MacKenzie grabs her cell phone, “We’re set to start in ten minutes. Jackson was told to send Alex in five minutes before so he’ll be here shortly.”

  “Okay,” I take a deep breath trying to settle my nerves.

  Suddenly the door to the dressing room flies open. “Jackson, what are you doing? Get out!” MacKenzie tries pushing her brother out of the room.

  Jackson’s eyes find mine completely ignoring his sister. “You’re pregnant?”

  I nod through the tears in my eyes. “We’re going to have a baby.”

  Jackson slides past his sister and wraps me in his arms. I should probably care that he’s wrinkling my dress but I could care less.

  “Pregnant?”

  Smiling over Jackson’s shoulder, I nod.

  “Oh my God, congratulations!”

  “Thank you.”

  Jackson cups my face and peppers me with kisses. “How long have you known?”

  The door to the dressing room softly closes.

  “Just last week, I wanted to tell you but I wanted to make it a surprise too.”

  “I can’t believe it.”

  I laugh, “I can’t either.”

  “Does anyone else know?”

  “Just you, me and now MacKenzie.”

  Jackson bends down on one knee and places a hand over my stomach. “We’re going to have a baby.”

  I cover his hand with mine. “We are.”

  MacKenzie peeks her head into the room. “Sorry to break this up but we need to get started.”

  Jackson stands and kisses me once again. “I love you so damn much.”

  “I love you, too.”

  He leans in to kiss me one more time.

  “Go, I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

  Jackson places his hand on my stomach, a slow smile spreading across his face.

  “Daddy,” Alex appears beside us.

  Jackson glances down to Alex, picks him up and kisses his cheek. “Guess what?”

  “What?”

  “Mommy has a baby in her tummy.”

  His head tilts to the side. “How?”

  I giggle along with MacKenzie who is watching our exchange from the doorway.

  “Well, that’s a story I’ll have to tell you later. Are you ready to walk Mommy down the aisle?”

  “Yes!”

  Jackson sets him down. “Alright, I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He leans in one last time for another kiss.

  “Jeez, I didn’t think he’d ever leave,” MacKenzie jokes.

  I laugh. “I’m surprised he did.”

  Jaylinn walks in carrying Brooklyn in her arms. “We’re all ready for you.”

  “Okay, let’s do it.”

  MacKenzie and Jaylinn leave and it’s just me and Alex. “Ready?”

  He smiles up at me and nods.

  The music starts, everyone stands and faces the door that Alex and I are now standing in. I give Alex’s hand a little squeeze and we take the first step down the aisle. Are closest friends and family are all smiling and snapping pictures as we walk past. When we reach the end Alex walks me up to Jackson then he turns and takes a seat next to Andrew and Elle in the first row.

  “I love you,” Jackson whispers.

  “I love you, too.”

  Brad, who is taking care of the cerem
ony for us, clears his throat. “Chloe and Jackson, when you first joined hands in marriage you did not know where life would take you. You promised to love, honor and cherish one another through all things. Life has surely brought you both wonderful blessings and difficult challenges over the years.”

  He continues on but I’ve tuned him out as I get lost in Jackson’s blue eyes. The years we’ve shared together have been amazing and also trying. At times I would ask myself if this was really my life. How did I get to be so lucky? Other times I wonder if I’m enough for Jackson. These last few months have proven that I am. Glimpses of my life flash before my eyes, the first time we met, prom, moving in together, having Alex, buying our first house, getting married, finding out we’re pregnant with baby number two, and now this.

  “Jackson and Chloe have prepared something that they’d like to share with you all.”

  We turn to face our family and friends. “Chloe and I decided to do things a little differently because you have probably guessed that we don’t like doing things the traditional way.” Everyone laughs knowing that Jackson is referring to us having Alex before we got married. When we were talking late one night in bed about our vows we decided that it was important to include our family in them since each and every one of them plays a roll in our lives. We decided on creating one vow and we’ll both read a piece of it. I decided that I’d write the vows for Hunter, MacKenzie and Cooper and Jaylinn while Jackson prepared his vows for Mason, Hailey, Andrew and Elle.

  “Every member in our family holds a special place in our hearts. We look to them when we need help, guidance and even love.”

  I clear the emotions clogging my throat. “Take Hunter and MacKenzie for instance.” They look to each other smiling before looking back up to me. “In our eyes you have the perfect marriage, you hardly ever fight and the love between you is unstoppable.” They glance back to each other, their eyes shining bright with love.

  “Mason, Hailey,” Jackson says, “Your protectiveness is what makes your marriage rock solid.” Mason slides his arm around Hailey and kisses the side of her head. “No matter what life throws at you, as long as you have each other by your side nothing else matters.” Hailey wipes under her eyes and Mason winks at Jackson.

  “Cooper, Jaylinn,” Cooper leans over to kiss Brooklyn’s cheek. “The strength that the two of you obtain is not something a lot of people possess. The things the two of you have been through is enough to tear the strongest people to pieces, but yet it only made you stronger as individuals and as a couple.” They both smile at me.