“But not every man has been gentle with you, have they?”
“No, they haven’t. My mother and father died, and it was just my sister and me. She married and I lived with them, sharecropping. It was not a happy marriage, sharecropping only made us poorer and of course I was the embarrassment of the county. My sister Hester became with child and turned her husband Amis away from their bed.” She stood back up and didn’t know where to go or what to do. The back of her throat ached, and she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him.
Staring at her feet she whispered, “I can’t tell you the rest.”
Max stood and tried to put his arms around her but she pulled away.
“I thought I could tell you. I’m so sorry. It’s not that I don’t trust you.” Her shoulders shook as she sobbed.
Max came close to her but didn’t touch her. “Honey, I understand. You don’t have to tell me. But if you do, I’m here to listen. I would like for us to go back to bed. I can sleep as far away or as close as you like. I don’t mind holding you when you cry. I have a feeling not too many people had enough consideration for your feelings.”
His eyes were filled with concern. Nodding, she walked into the bedroom and waited for him to join her in the bed. Her body felt frozen in place for a while, but eventually she moved a couple inches at a time and then laid her head on his shoulder. She sighed as he put his arms around her. The anguish inside her would never go away. Max deserved a better wife.
Chapter Six
Veronica tried to smile as Georgie took delight in the purchases Max had made.
“He’s a good husband. I know he had good taste. He had to go and get dresses and the like for me and everything was much more than perfect.” She picked up the doll and hugged it. “This is the sweetest doll.” Then she gave a gentle sigh. “Everything will work out for the two you. I really believe that.”
“I hope so,” Veronica said without enthusiasm.
“Is something wrong?” Georgie asked. She frowned and tilted her head.
“No. Yes. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid to let him be a husband to me. I don’t want to be touched that way. But I don’t mind if he watches me nurse Bridey. I think I’m a whore, except I’ve been treated in a way I can’t stand to lay with a man.” Veronica tried to swallow back her torment. “I know it makes no sense.”
“You were married before.”
“We never—he left to fight in the war right after the wedding. I was married, then widowed yet untouched.”
“Was the birthing of Bridey so bad you don’t want to have another baby?” Georgie asked softly.
She didn’t want to talk about births. “I was attacked and badly hurt. I don’t want anyone to know. I tried to tell Max, but I just couldn’t. He must already think badly of me arriving with a baby. I know the town is talking about me. I’ve brought him nothing but shame.”
Georgie took her hand a squeezed it gently. “Max isn’t like that.”
“I just wish I had somewhere else to go. I can’t do this. I can’t be married.” She heard a noise and realized that Max had just walked in. How much had he heard? His jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed.
Georgie hugged her. “I need to get back to Douglas. Everything will be fine.” She touched Max on the shoulder as she left.
“I’ll find you a place, a safe place and we can have the marriage annulled. I didn’t realize just how unhappy you were with me.” His voice was bleak. He stared at her for a moment and then left.
Her heart plummeted. What had she done? Everywhere she went, everything she did was a disaster. She couldn’t blame others anymore. It had to be her. She wasn’t pretty enough, wasn’t smart enough. Harvey proved that. She wasn’t loveable or desirable. She certainly wasn’t respected, the knocks on her doors by men proved that. Everyone had such a low opinion of her, they thought she seduced her sister’s husband despite being beaten so badly she couldn’t walk for days. What was it about her? She obviously brought it all on herself, but how? It’d be best if she lived her days alone, but how would she do that? She could take in wash, she supposed. Men would start knocking on her door again. She shivered as the misery of it all encased her.
She didn’t have it in her to try to start over in another town. What was the use? Bridey began to fuss, but she’d been fed not long ago. Veronica picked her up and held her, she sang to her, she rocked her, and she walked back and forth with her in her arms, but nothing worked.
She spotted Max at the corral and marched outside. Without a word, she put Bridey in his arms. He looked startled, but Bridey stopped crying.
Yes, it was her. Perhaps she had a bit of the devil in her that others could see. Her father had certainly told her that enough times. With tear-filled eyes, she left Bridey with Max and ran back to the house. Once there she lie across the bed and sobbed. Her heart felt as though it had been ripped out, but it was her fault. It was all her fault. There simply was no other to blame.
She must have fallen asleep. Dusk had turned everything gray when she opened her eyes. It was the silence that worried her. She got off the bed and walked into the sitting room. No one was there. She was alone, just as she should be. Bridey would be better off with Max, and Georgie could nurse her.
Impulsively, Veronica packed a bag for herself with a few of the clothes Max had bought her and some food. She peeked out the window and didn’t see a soul, so she put on her cape and went out the front door and then hurried to the back of the house. She’d find a place for herself somewhere. She entered the woods and aimlessly walked.
Bushes tore at her. She stumbled over some rough terrain and fell against a rock. Her palms began to sting as she caught herself against the trunk of a tree to keep from falling to her knees.
* * *
Max thanked Georgie for the meal and then lifted Bridey from the cradle she had been sharing with Douglas. “I need to go check on Veronica. She’s had enough time to herself, I think.”
“She’s a good woman, Max,” Georgie said kindly.
“I know. I just wish she’d confide in me. I also know whatever happened wasn’t her fault. She has a good heart. We’ll get it all figured out.”
“They sure didn’t tell us how difficult it was to be a husband. Not one married soldier said a word about it,” Parker said. He laid a hand on Max’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine.”
Max smiled. He felt a bit more hopeful for his marriage. “Thanks for the support.”
“Now, if you need any tips on how to—”
“Parker Eastman! That’s private between a man and a woman.” Georgie tried to glare at him but ended up smiling instead.
Max carried Bridey across the yard. He chuckled, thinking about Georgie. He’d do what he could to make Veronica just as happy. The house was dark. Maybe Georgie had already gone to bed. She’d need to feed her daughter soon.
But he knew as soon as he walked into the house something was amiss. His heart beat faster as he went from room to room looking for his wife. He thought it a longshot, but she could be using the privy. He started to go back outside, but he backtracked and looked in the bedroom instead. He scanned the room and sighed. Some of her clothes were gone. There was an imprint across the mattress as though she had lain there before she left.
He sat on the bed feeling lost. Surely she wouldn’t have left Bridey? He got up and headed outside to the privy just to be sure before he took Bridey back to Georgie. What in tarnation was Veronica thinking? There was so much danger lurking about, and she’d up and walk into it by leaving.
Georgie quickly took Bridey after he walked into their house. “Where is Veronica?”
Max rubbed his hand over his face. “Some of her clothes are gone. I guess she left us.”
“Oh, Max.”
“Let’s saddle up. Georgie you’ll take care of Bridey?” Parker asked as he buckled his gun belt.
“Of course. Don’t either of you worry. I’m sure as Veronica realizes how dark it get
s out there she’ll be back.”
“I hope so,” Max said, but he wasn’t convinced.
Max saddled the horses while Parker told the men to look for her around the ranch and to keep an eye on Georgie and the children.
Max’s chest constricted. She’d left him, she had actually left him. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. What did she think would become of Bridey? She couldn’t have been thinking clearly if at all.
Parker was waiting in the yard when Max led the horses out of the barn.
“There aren’t signs that she left on horseback. She didn’t walk down the dirt road. The only foot prints of hers I can find are from your house to mine and back and one set around to the back of your house. But it’s all woods back there.”
Max frowned. “It looks as though we’re going through the woods.” If she’d cared for him, she wouldn’t have left. His heart hardened with each step he took.
* * *
Her hair was caught up in a tree branch and it hurt like the dickens trying to get it untangled. Finally she grabbed a knife out of her bag and cut the hair away from the tree. She could run and run, but she couldn’t run away from herself. She needed to head back. Everyone there already thought badly of her. She would learn to live with that.
Too bad she was lost. A wolf cried nearby, sending a shiver down her spine. She kept walking until her feet hurt. She wasn’t familiar with the area, so she was clueless as to where she was. She broke through the trees onto a tilled field and gasped. Across the field men on horses carrying torches formed a semi-circle in front of a cabin. They were yelling vile things, trying to get the occupants to come out.
It was the hooded men! Instinctively, she ducked back in the woods to hide, but she turned back around and watched. The men broke down the door and dragged a family of ex-slaves out. She was so focused on what was happening, she never heard the horse until she was dragged up and lay across the front of the saddle face down.
It was near impossible to breathe let alone scream. The man wore white cloth over his clothes. She saw his dark trousers and horse dung-covered boots. Fear kept her still. She needed to wait for the right moment to try to run. He rode back to the cabin and threw her on the ground in the circle of men and next to the screaming family.
There were two men and two women along with three small children. This was going to be bad, and she’d end up dead, she was certain of it. Trying to get up would be useless so she stayed on the ground.
“I told you we had a spy. It’s her. She’s the one who has been following us night after night,” the man who captured her announced.
“I’m not so sure. She has a baby. She’d be nursing half the time,” a deeper voice said. Laughter followed.
“Where’s the kid now?” demanded the first man as he dismounted and grabbed her up to a standing position. He ripped her bodice. “She needs to be taught a lesson.”
Bile filled her stomach. She knew what came next. Would it only be the one man or would the others want to have a turn? She trembled as tears trailed down her face.
“No one does a thing unless I say so,” a third man said. He looked to be tall from her perspective.
He must be the leader she mused. His horse was a thoroughbred, and his boots had a very nice shine to them. They would probably never be seen with dung clinging to them. Swallowing hard, she started to silently pray. This was no poor ignorant bunch of men.
“Then she belongs to me!” the man who had captured her said.
“Let’s get to what we came here for,” the leader ordered. “Men, put the nooses around their necks.”
“Not the women, right?” another man asked in a hesitant voice.
“We can let the women live. They won’t be making more babies with dead negroes.”
The screams got louder, and the wailing and begging started as soon as the rope nooses were around the men’s necks and their hands were tied behind their backs.
Veronica turned her head and threw up. She felt faint but wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “You can’t do this. It’s murder! If you leave now, we won’t say a word to the law.”
Her kidnapper backhanded her across the face, drawing blood. And when she opened her mouth again he slapped her to the ground. Once on the ground he kicked her repeatedly. “Keep your mouth shut.”
The women and children huddled together, as the ropes were thrown over a large tree limb.
Veronica closed her eyes as her skirts were being shoved up. Once again she was in an impossible situation of her own making.
The crack of gunfire split the air, and she rolled away from the wicked man getting ready to undo his trousers. She frantically tried to get her skirts back down, but her hands wouldn’t cooperate. The hooded men scattered, and the men with the guns raced toward them. There were only two of them, and she finally managed to roll so she was on her stomach. Her skirts weren’t up as much in the back. She just wanted to die.
Her heart was grateful that no one had been killed. She got up on her knees, holding her bodice to her and then struggled to her feet and tried to just walk away. The sound of hooves behind her terrorized her and she dropped and the curled into a ball. She was too young to die. She wanted to live.
“Veronica, it’s me. It’s Max.” Suddenly, he was crouched next to her.
She slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head. “Max? Oh, Max. You should ride on while you can. Trouble follows me wherever I go. I’m no good. I never have been, and I shouldn’t have come to Texas.”
“Sweetheart, let’s get you home. We can talk about it later. Right now I want to hold you in front of me on my horse and know that you are in one piece.”
“I’m sorry. You and Parker shouldn’t have bothered looking for me, but I’m glad you did. You saved that family.”
He helped her up, and the anger in his eyes when he saw her ripped dress caused her to step back in fear.
“I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t tease the man. I just walked out of the woods. This dress was very respectable before that man…”
“Of course it’s not your fault. Come I’ll put you up on the horse.”
She sat on the horse and watched Max go and talk to Parker. Max came back, mounted up behind her, and they rode toward the ranch. He put his arms around her and pulled her back against him. He didn’t say a word, and she was grateful.
He guided the horse right up to their house, jumped down and carried her inside, and then gently put her down on the sofa. “I’ll be right back. I need to send more men to that house.”
His gentleness confused her. Anger, yelling, hitting…she knew what to expect when a man did those things, but kindness made her anxious. Maybe he was being nice before he told her where he was going to ship her off to. Again, that would be a problem of her own making. She was a bad seed just like her brother-in-law Amis had often called her.
Her shoulders sagged while she still held the two halves of her bodice together in one hand. She’d left Bridey. How could she have done such a thing? She didn’t even understand her actions. She was tetched in the head for sure.
* * *
Max stopped to let Georgie know what was going on and she insisted on keeping Bridey overnight. Max gave her a sad smile and thanked her. He stood at the bottom of the porch steps to his house. He didn’t know what to say or what to do. His heart ached almost beyond bearing. She had run away from him. Would she have ever come home on her own?
He stared up at the half-moon wishing he could put their cares off until tomorrow, but he couldn’t. It wouldn’t be good for either of them. He needed to know why, if she’d tell him. He wanted her and Bridey to be happy with him. Lord, what am I doing wrong? He had never felt so low or so doubtful in his life.
He sought deep to find his courage to talk to her and walked up the steps and into the house. She sat with her head hanging as if in shame.
“I’ll make us some tea.” He busied himself putting water on to boil. Then he walked to the sofa and dropp
ed to one knee. “Do you have any injuries I need to tend?” He stroked her hair back from her face. He wanted to love her, but she’d break his heart even more than she had already.
When she didn’t answer, he helped her into the bedroom and very gently removed her clothes. She had a few nasty bruises. There were several on her arms and one big one on her shoulder and several more on her back. He covered her with a nightgown and carried her back to the sofa. If he put her in bed she’d fall asleep before they talked.
The water was boiling, and he made them tea. He put both cups on the table in front of the sofa. He wanted to sit next to her but chose to sit in a chair across from her instead.
“Why did you leave?”
“I’ve not been able to be a good wife to you,” she said so softly he had to strain to hear the words. “And it hurts my heart so. Then today, after you said you would move me out, get our marriage annulled…no matter what I did, Bridey would not be comforted until I put her in your arms.” A tear welled in her eye and slid down her cheek. “I thought you’d both be better off without me. The truth of it was so strong I just had to leave. It ripped my heart out, but I knew it was what I had to do. I can see by the expression on your face you don’t understand.”
Max moved to the sofa and took her hand. “I just wish you thought you could have come and talked to me about it. We all have doubts about ourselves. I’ve found it best to talk it out. You’ve told me a bit of your story, but I think if you told me all of it, I’d have a better understanding.”
As much as she didn’t want him to know, it was time to tell him the whole sordid story. “Are you sure? You’ll feel differently about me and not in a way that would be good.”
“I care about you, and you’re my wife.”
Shattered Trust: Mail Order Brides of Spring Water Book Two Page 6
