No Shoes, No Shirt, No Spells

by Rose Pressey

  “Now, do you have everything you need?” She placed her hands on her hips, waiting for my response.

  By the glare in her eyes, I knew my answer had better be ‘yes.’ “Uh-huh, everything looks hunky-dory.”

  “Good. Now get to work. I’m so excited, I’m ready to pee my pants.”

  Oh, goody gumdrops. My magic had not only gone awry, it had created a monster. A clingy, looking-for-love-in-all-the-wrong-places monster.

  Chapter Forty

  “Don’t do that, please. Peeing in your pants isn’t allowed. Mind if I have a seat?” I asked.

  She waved her hands. “Yes, yes, whatever. Just do the magic.”

  “Now who’s being an impatient little thing?”

  She stuck her hands on her hips and frowned.

  I took a couple deep steadying breaths. “Okay, here goes.”

  “Rory will be mine forever.” She giggled.

  She was scaring me. Kim had taken this too far. She was acting like the Wicked Witch of the West. Next thing I knew, her skin would turn green. I climbed over the bench and sat at the little wooden picnic table. Avoiding Kim’s stare, I lugged the book over beside me. The familiar spicy scent tickled my nose as I opened the cover. My fingers fidgeted as I looked up the spell in the index, then turned to the correct page. I’d put on a good show for Kim. My face felt flush as I scanned the page, then I grabbed the spices listed.

  “I think I’ll use the sandwich, okay?”

  She nodded and waved her hand. “Whatever.”

  “But don’t forget which sandwich is his. I’d hate for you to get them mixed up. He may fall in love with me or, worse yet, you may eat it and fall in love with me.” I snickered.

  How she trusted me not to perform a bad spell on her, I had no idea. The thought had probably never occurred to her that anyone would have the audacity to do something bad to her.

  “As if.” She snorted. “Don’t worry. I have everything under control. I think I can manage to give him the correct sandwich. Unlike some people I know.” She rolled her eyes.

  I gaped at her. She knew. Somehow, she knew about the magic spell and had never said a word until now. How long had she known?

  “How do you know that?” I snapped.

  “I overheard. I was stalking you, remember?” She smirked.

  I stared for a beat, then returned my focus to the magic that wouldn’t work. I wondered if I could get in trouble for practicing magic that I knew wouldn’t work? Oh well, I was willing to take that chance. I mean, could it get any worse than it already was? I sprinkled the rosemary on top, then the oregano.

  “May Rory Covington set eyes on his true love and never doubt his feelings again. So mote it be.” I placed the bread back on top of the sandwich and onto the plate. “There, all done.”

  “That’s it?” She frowned. “Are you sure it’s done? Aren’t there supposed to be sparks? I saw sparks when you did the magic before.”

  “Oh no, there aren’t always sparks, just sometimes. This particular spell doesn’t have sparks.” I tapped the page for emphasis.

  She raised a brow and I wondered if my acting skills were good enough for her to fall for my little fib.

  “Okay, but if this doesn’t work, you’ll be sorry.”

  I forced a smile, but it was stretched so tightly across my face, my cheeks ached. “I’m sure I will,” I muttered through gritted teeth.

  “Now we have to call Rory.” She clapped her hands, not noticing my forced enthusiasm.

  “We have to call him?” My eyebrows rose.

  She shrugged. “Okay, you have to call Rory. Tell him to meet you in the park for a picnic.”

  “Yeah, but don’t mention that you’re here, right?” I smirked.

  “Just do it.” She scowled and shoved the phone toward me.

  “Won’t he recognize your cell phone number?”

  She grunted and grabbed the phone back from me, punching a few keys. “Here.” She shoved it back at me. “He won’t recognize it now.”

  I held the phone to my ear and listened as it rang. My stomach turned with each beep, waiting for him to answer. I was about to hang up when his sexy southern drawl came through the other end. His voice made my legs quiver. Never had I imagined a voice was capable of causing such a reaction in me. I hoped Kim couldn’t read the expression of lust on my face.

  “Hi, Rory,” I said.

  “I didn’t know it was you. The phone didn’t show your number.”

  Did he have my number memorized? Did he know whom he was talking to? Maybe he thought it was Kim?

  My voice lowered. “It’s Elly Blair.”

  Kim frowned and gave me a look as if she wanted to stab my eyes out with her nail file. I knew I’d better give my name or she’d throw a hissy fit if Rory really had recognized my voice.

  “I know who you are.” He chuckled. “I’d recognize your sweet voice anywhere.”

  I shifted on the bench. “Um, I wondered if you weren’t busy if you’d like to come over to the park for a little breakfast picnic?”

  I knew this sounded really weird. He’d think I’d lost my mind for sure. Kim tapped the table with her finger.

  He paused, his soft breathing drifting through the line. I pictured what it would be like to feel his breath on my neck.

  “Sure, I can do that, but is everything okay? You don’t sound good. Is something bothering you?”

  Not something bothering me, but someone. I couldn’t answer him. What could I say? Your nutty girlfriend has kidnapped me, forcing me to perform magic so you’ll love her? Kim frowned and poked me in the side.

  “Great. So I’ll see you soon?”

  He paused again. “Um, sure, I’ll be there in a few minutes. It’ll just take me a few seconds to finish up what I was doing and get over there. What are we having, by the way?”

  I looked at Kim as she stood guard over me, then at the table.

  “Sandwiches, fruit, and that sort of thing.” Why had she picked these foods for morning? Not much of a meal planner, was she?

  “Sounds delicious, you know I love your cooking.”

  Kim’s face grew redder by the minute. She was pissed.

  Even with Kim hovering over me with a death glare, his words still make me giddy. I held back my massive smile. “Okay, see you soon.”

  Rory had to know I was acting weird. Maybe he just assumed I was weird. After all, we hadn’t met under the best circumstances. I shut the phone and handed it back to her.

  “He’s on his way, are you happy now?”

  “Delighted.” She pulled out a mirror and began layering gloss on her lips.

  “I can’t believe you want to deceive someone you claim to care so much about.”

  “It’s not deceiving. And I didn’t ask for your opinion anyway. So why don’t you shut your pie trap and help me lay out the food so it looks nice. And don’t you dare pretend you made this food when he gets here.”

  I looked down at the stale, sad sandwich, its contents oozing over the sides. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

  “My cooking is way better than yours,” she scoffed.

  Talking to Mary Jane’s three-year-old niece was easier than this. Mine is better than yours. Something must have snapped in her weird world to make her this crazy. Wonder if it had anything to do with my magic or if she’d always been this looney. I stood beside her and placed three plates around the table.

  “Oh, and just so you know, he’s sitting beside me.”

  I saluted. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Now you’re mocking me.”

  “I am doing no such thing. Just following my orders, that’s all.”

  This woman needed to be arrested. Maybe a night behind bars would do her good. They’d confiscate her Louis Vuitton purse and Juicy Couture clothing. She’d be forced to wear that awful orange jumpsuit; it would serve her right. Kim placed a sandwich on each plate, cussing when mayonnaise got all over her hands. I hoped she didn’t expect me to eat any of that stuff sh
e called food. The bread was probably moldy. And no telling what the actual inside contents were. Could be chicken, could be tuna, could be...I didn’t want to find out.

  I shouldn’t judge. Maybe it tasted okay and just didn't look appetizing. She placed the container of fruit in the middle of the table.

  “Here, open this bottle of wine.” She shoved the bottle at me. “I don’t want to break a nail.”

  “Of course not. We couldn’t have that now, could we?”

  If looks could kill, I’d have been lying on the ground, gasping for breath. I needed to bite my tongue and try to be nice—for Grandma Imelda and Mystic Café. I’d get more with honey than vinegar. When the book was back in my hands, I wouldn’t spare her feelings. I wanted to save the café more than anything. Was it too much to ask for me to get Rory, too? If I righted the wrong, maybe the organization would reconsider and let me reopen the café.

  She placed the glasses around the table.

  “Do you always have wine for breakfast?”

  She smirked. “It’s romantic, so mind your own business.”

  “Don’t you think it’s odd for me to be here? Why don’t I leave and let the two of you have a romantic meal? I’ll just take the book and spices and skedaddle.” I gestured over my shoulder. “You don’t even need to drive me, I can walk. The exercise will do me some good.”

  “Are you insane?” she asked, as I moved closer to the book.

  Kim grabbed me by the arm. Her grip was tight and I yelped.

  “Let go of my arm.” I was ready to punch her lights out. What little lights she had, that is.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Kim released my arm. “You can’t go. I need you to stay until I’m sure the spell works, then you can take your stupid book and get lost.”

  “How is the book stupid if it gives you what you want?”

  After what seemed like an eternity, the sound of a vehicle took my attention away from the bizarre scene in front of me. I glanced over my shoulder to see Rory’s truck pull up behind Kim’s little car. I was surprised he didn’t turn around and leave right then and there. Would he run when he spotted Kim? Heck, he might run when he saw what I looked like in the morning without a hairbrush run through my hair.

  He parked and climbed out.

  “Okay, zip your mouth and just leave the talking to me now.”

  “If you say so, it’s your funeral.” I couldn’t resist adding that part.

  She scowled and sent a venom-laced glare my way.

  “What’s going on here?” Rory asked as he approached. He wore jeans and a pullover shirt. His hair was a touch wet. Had he taken a shower? Was that what he needed to do before coming over here? My heart thumped and butterflies flittered in my stomach at the thought of Rory wet and in the shower. He looked gorgeous, as usual.

  “Hi, sweetheart.” She rushed to his side. “I’m so glad you made it.”

  He frowned, not responding to her term of endearment.

  “I thought we’d have a little picnic. I brought a lot of fabulous food. Won’t you join us? We need to all get to know each other.”

  He looked at me. “Why didn’t you say Kim was with you?”

  I gave him a sideways grin, but I avoided his gaze. Guilt consumed me. Words failed me; it didn’t happen often, but I didn’t know what to say. My mouth seemed glued shut. I felt the heat move from my cheeks, spreading to my chest.

  Kim answered for me, looping her arm around his. “Don’t worry about that. She’s forgetful. Come on.” She led him to the table. “Have a seat.”

  He hesitated, then finally sat. Kim eased down onto the bench and slipped over close to him. He looked about as uncomfortable as a guy could look. Worse than a guy who’d been caught crying while watching The Notebook.

  I wanted to run and hide under the picnic table or go back to bed and not come out for a week. This was the most awkward situation I’d ever been in. And I’ve been in some awkward situations before. Like the time when I was sixteen and got caught outside in nothing but my underwear just as the cute boy next door came outside his house. But this was far worse.

  “What is it you want to talk about, Kim?” Rory asked.

  “Here, eat some of your sandwich. I made it.” She pushed the food toward him.

  He looked down at the sandwich and back at her with a frown. “But you don’t cook.”

  “Silly, sure I do.” She waved off his comment. “I don’t get the chance to do it a lot, that’s all.” Kim gave Rory a wistful look, which he didn’t seem to notice.

  Rory picked up the sandwich and brought it to his mouth, as if in slow motion. He took a bite and chewed with a scowl on his face the entire time. Now I knew for sure I wouldn’t eat this so-called sandwich. If a guy couldn’t eat it, then I knew I couldn’t; guys could eat anything. I picked up a couple of the grapes and popped one in my mouth.

  “Here, have some wine.” Kim poured the red liquid into Rory’s glass, then set the bottle back. She didn’t offer me any. The one thing I could really use at that moment, too. I grabbed the bottle and poured until my glass was full, then took a big gulp.

  “This is nice and all, but I want to know what’s going on.”

  Kim frowned at me and mouthed, “Where are the sparks?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I need to use the ladies’ room, do you mind?”

  If Kim said no, Rory would be suspicious. If she offered to go with me, Rory may leave. She had no choice but to let me go. I’d slip into the public restroom and call Tom. He’d come and get the book and, with any luck, bring the police.

  I climbed up from the bench.

  “I’ll go with you,” Kim said, as I made my way across the park. She fell into step beside me.

  “Rory will probably leave if you go to the bathroom with me. Is that what you want?”

  “Crap.” She spun around and traipsed back across the park.

  When she was back with Rory, I slipped into the bathroom, looking around to see if I was alone in the dark space. I pulled the cell phone from my pocket, the light from the screen illuminating just how dirty the space was, and scanned through the previous numbers until I came to Tom’s. Without wasting another minute, I hit send.

  After two rings, he answered. “What’s going on?” he asked.

  “Kim has kidnapped me.” The alarm was evident in my voice.

  “What?” His voice rose. “What are you talking about?”

  “She has the book and the spices. She forced me to come to the park with her. I can’t believe it, either. She broke into my place and was standing at the foot of my bed when I woke up.”

  “Well, that’s slightly creepy. Okay, I’ll be right there.”

  “Do you know how to get here?” I asked.

  “It’s a small town. I know how to get everywhere. It’s kind of hard to get lost.”

  “Are you bringing the police?” I tried to slow my heavy breathing.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”

  I had no idea what that meant, but I guessed I’d find out soon enough. I clicked off the call and stuffed the phone back into my pocket. I hoped Rory hadn’t left. I wanted to explain everything to him. Whether or not he’d listen was an entirely different story. I wanted him to know I hadn’t done any of this on purpose. I hoped he wouldn’t hate me for putting him in this situation, but I’d had no choice. When push came to shove, I did what I thought was best, and that was all I could do.

  After checking my disheveled appearance in the mirror and attempting to tame my hair with my hands, I reemerged from the bathroom, almost afraid of what I’d see. Kim would probably come looking for me soon if I didn’t get back over there. Besides, I didn’t want to leave Rory out there to fend for himself any longer than he had to.

  When I looked over to the table, to my surprise, Rory was still there. Kim was trying to force a grape into his mouth. I needed another gulp of that wine. The sun shone down from a blue cloudless sky, covering the area in yellow shafts o
f light. Birds chirped as they danced along the edge of the birdbath. The temperature hadn’t become unbearable yet. The scent of the honeysuckle bush beside the pathway wafted through the air and tickled my nose. Too bad this gorgeous day had turned into something so bizarre.

  I hurried across the park. “I’m back, sorry it took so long.”

  Rory stood. “Oh, I thought maybe you’d left.”

  I couldn’t leave him there with her.

  I glanced at Kim and she mouthed, “It’s not working.”

  If I could stall her for a little while longer, Tom would make it and get us the heck out of there.

  “Um, how do you like the wine, Rory?” I asked. “Sometimes it has a taste that doesn’t kick in for a while.” I wiggled my eyebrows at Kim and she seemed to take my hint. Whether or not she bought my little fib, I didn’t know.

  “I like it,” Rory said, shifting on the bench, trying to move further away from Kim.

  She already had him almost falling off the edge and there was nowhere else for him to go.

  “Do you mind telling me what all this is really about? I may be a small-town hick, but I’m not really all that dumb.”

  “Oh, no, I don’t think you’re dumb,” I said.

  “Of course not, Rory,” Kim added.

  “Tell me the truth.” He stared at me with his gorgeous eyes and I couldn’t lie any more.

  Chapter Forty-TwoWhatever the consequences, I knew I had to tell the truth. The café might be gone, but to lose the book, the spices, and Rory, was too much. At least Rory wouldn’t forever think of me as a liar. Somehow, I’d make it up to Grandma Imelda. Maybe we could start a new café, minus the magic.

  I took a deep breath and steadied myself for what I was about to say. Kim’s expression let me know she knew what I was about to do. She read me like a book. She shook her head, her hoop earrings whipped from side to side.

  “Rory, I have to tell you the truth and you’re going to hate me for this.” I rushed the words. “On the first day we met, I accidentally performed magic on you.”