by Ivy Smoak
"I want to check out the Santa Monica pier. Apparently the views from the Ferris wheel are amazing."
"Honestly, I'm a little scared of heights."
"Last time I checked, you were damn good at facing your fears, Hails. Besides, I'll be right there with you."
Just that thought alone warmed my heart. I slipped my hand into his. I truly felt like together we could face anything. "Come on then, we don't have much time to waste."
***
"I'm not drunk enough yet."
Tyler laughed.
God, I was going to miss his laugh. I put my chin in my hand as I took another sip of the ridiculously huge drink I had ordered.
"I'm pretty sure it'll be even scarier if you're drunk."
"How would you know? You're not scared of heights. And stop making me talk about it behind it's back. You're going to jinx everything."
Tyler turned around and glanced at the Ferris wheel. "Hails, you can't talk about an inanimate object behind it's back. It can't hear you." He raised his eyebrow as he stared down at my drink and then back up at me.
I took another sip. "Maybe I've had enough to drink," I said with a laugh. But I continued to take another sip.
"Delay it all you want, I'm still making you do it."
"Right, right." I smiled to myself. "I guess we might as well get this over with then." I slowly stood up as he pulled out his wallet. "If you can catch me first."
"Hailey!" he shouted after me.
But I was already running down the pier. The sound of my flip flops on the wooden boards, the seagulls calling, and the waves crashing in the distance were my new favorite sounds in the world. I felt alive. I looked over my shoulder. Tyler was quickly gaining on me. Right before he caught up to me, I jumped off the pier and into the sand. I may not have loved the smell of the ocean, but I absolutely loved the feeling of sand between my toes.
I laughed as Tyler wrapped his arms around me, pulling us both down into the sand. In a matter of seconds he had me pinned beneath him. I thought I had felt alive a moment ago. But now all my senses seemed heightened.
"Gotcha," he whispered against my lips.
All I wanted was his lips on mine. "How about instead of going on the Ferris wheel, I just seduce you in the sand?"
He leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against mine.
The teasing gesture sent shivers down my spine.
"Are you trying to get me arrested so I can't join the marines?"
"If that's an option...then yes." I squirmed beneath him as he laughed. God that laugh. That would be one of the things I missed the most. "I'm going to miss you so much."
"Then we better make tonight memorable." He smiled seductively.
"By getting arrested for public indecency? Deal."
He laughed again. "No, by facing your fears and seeing this amazing view before the sun sets completely." He gave me a chaste kiss and pulled me to my feet.
I could feel the buzz of the alcohol coursing through me. I felt brave and safe and whole. Because of him. I really would miss him. The feeling of his hand in mine and his arms around me. The intensity of his blue eyes. The way he looked so surprised by some of the things that came out of my mouth. Like I was embarrassing, but he loved me anyway. Love. I stole a glance at him as we made our way back onto the pier. Was this really love? Was that crazy? It felt real to me.
"Hey, look," I said and pointed to a sign in the middle of the boardwalk. "Santa Monica. 66. End of the Trail." I pulled him toward it. "We have to get a picture!"
"You're just procrastinating."
"No, I just realized I didn't take a single picture this whole time. My dad's never going to believe I was here," I said with a laugh.
Tyler pulled out his phone. "Okay, I'll ask someone to take one for us."
"Don't bother strangers, we can take a selfie."
"Don't bother strangers? Since when did that become your motto? I'm pretty sure you jumping into my car last week was bothering a stranger."
I lightly hit his arm and tried to resist wrapping my fingers around his bicep. "I don't think I was a bother at all. Look how far we've both come." I pointed to the sign again.
Tyler laughed. "Fine." He held out his phone in front of us.
"Wait, I have a better idea." I stepped up onto the bench next to the sign and climbed onto Tyler's back.
He started laughing again. I really did love his laugh. It instantly made me smile. He snapped a picture with our cheeks pressed together cheesing for the camera.
"It's perfect," I said. I couldn't remember the last time I had looked so happy.
"Now it's time for the Ferris wheel."
"If you insist." Before I could slide down his back, he started walking back toward the pier. I tightened my hold on his shoulders and nestled my face into his neck. I don't think anyone had ever carried me piggyback style in public. Besides for when I was a kid with my dad. There was something so comforting about it. I loved how carefree Tyler was. He didn't care about what anyone else thought. He just wanted to make me happy. I closed my eyes. I wanted to remember this moment. I couldn't think of a better way to sear it into my memory than by focusing on how whole I felt.
When we came to a stop in the line next to the Ferris wheel, I slid down his back. I didn't even bother to look up. No matter what, I knew I was safe when I was with Tyler. There wasn't anything to be scared of.
"You don't seem hesitant at all anymore," he said as he smiled down at me.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Maybe you're rubbing off on me."
He laughed as he scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I don't know about that."
"What? You're probably the bravest person I know."
"You do remember that a few days ago you called me a coward, right?"
"Which I didn't mean. Obviously. Really you were just being an asshole and I was mad at you."
He raised both his eyebrows. "I don't know which one is more offensive...being an ass or being a coward."
"It doesn't really matter. You're neither of those things." I cleared my throat. "Speaking of being brave, you're going to be careful right?" It had suddenly hit me just how dangerous his new career was. I'd be worried about him.
"We're up," he said.
I didn't have time to focus on the fact that he hadn't answered my question. Because as soon as I stepped up to the ride, my stomach seemed to drop. How was the flimsy looking bar supposed to protect me from falling to my death? I gripped Tyler's hand even tighter as we sat down.
"Trust me, you're going to love this, Hails."
Him calling me by my nickname soothed me slightly. But I felt like I was going to be sick when the cart swayed forward and we started rising into the air.
Chapter 44
Tyler
Thursday
Hailey squeezed my hand so tightly that it almost hurt.
"I'm right here, nothing bad is going to happen to you."
She gave me an uneasy smile.
I wasn't sure if it was because at this time tomorrow I wouldn't be here with her, or because she was so nervous about being this high up, but it made me feel like shit either way. Was I doing the right thing? I couldn't be there for her. I'd be on the other side of the country. If her dad didn't get better, she needed someone that could be there for her.
"Oh my God," she said and leaned her head against my shoulder.
It took me a second to realize she was actually admiring the view instead of being terrified of it.
"It's breathtaking."
I wrapped my arm behind her back as we stared out at the horizon. The sun was setting, casting a beautiful spectrum of colors across the water. If I listened closely I could even hear the waves splashing over the laughter of the people on the pier. It really was amazing. And not just because of the view. But because of the beautiful girl beside me that trusted me enough to face her fear of heights. "This is the best sunset I've ever seen."
"Mhm."
I glanced down at her
and laughed. Her eyes were shut tight. "Open your eyes, Hails. You're missing it."
She shook her head.
I put my hand on the side of her face. "Open your eyes."
She shook her head again and squeezed her eyes shut even harder. "The most beautiful things in life aren't seen. They're felt by the heart."
Just like that, all my reservations were gone. I was never letting go of this girl. It was like I was blind my whole life and suddenly I could see. Hailey Shaw was it for me. Because she was right, and not just about this moment but about us. This was more than just physical attraction or a crazy summer fling. She healed my heart. She healed my soul. She had touched my life in such a meaningful way. She saved me.
"I love you." The words tumbled out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying.
Her eyes flew open.
It was too fast. It was too crazy. So why the hell did I not regret saying it?
She pressed her lips together as she looked up at me. It looked like she was about to cry.
"It's okay if you don't feel the same way. It doesn't change how I feel. And I wanted you to know." I meant it, but I could feel myself closing off.
"No, Tyler, that's not it. I just..." her voice trailed off.
She doesn't love me back. Of course she doesn't. What the hell is wrong with me? It was just like it was with Penny. I wasn't enough. Why the hell would Hailey want me? I was going to be gone for three years. If there was one thing I had learned from Penny, it was to not be so transparent and optimistic about something I couldn't control. I was repeating my mistakes. That was something I couldn't afford to do. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I was such an idiot.
"I'm sorry, Tyler, but I'm scared to say it. I'm so scared of losing you."
I swallowed hard.
"A few hours ago I didn't think you wanted me back. But now that you do, it's suddenly hit me how dangerous what you're about to do is. And I'm terrified. I'm so worried that I'm never going to see you again."
"Nothing's going to happen to me." She had given me something to live for, something to fight for. I wasn't giving up anymore. I tightened my grip around her waist. "I'm going to do whatever it takes to come back to you."
She nodded.
"And it's okay if you're not ready to say it back. I don't want to pressure you into saying something you don't mean."
"I fell in love with you in Kansas, Tyler."
Kansas. I smiled. "Singing karaoke to our song?"
"And when you didn't kiss me back. I was a little surprised by how much it hurt. That's kind of when I realized it was more than just a little crush."
"I never meant to hurt you." I slid my hand to the back of her neck. "Hailey, I promise I'll never hurt you again. We can make this work. I know we can."
A smile spread across her face. "I'm pretty sure this is where you're supposed to kiss me."
She didn't have to tell me twice. My lips crashed down on hers and I kissed her like I'd never get a chance to kiss her again. Everything about her was sweet. I was addicted to her taste. And suddenly I needed more than this. This was the last night we had together for I didn't even know how long. My hand slid into the back pocket of her jean shorts and she moaned into my mouth. I leaned into her. I wanted her to know how badly I wanted her all the time. How I could barely think straight when we were together.
If it wasn't for the Ferris wheel technician clearing his throat, I'm pretty sure I would have gone down on her in the middle of the ride.
She pushed my shoulder so I'd stop kissing her neck. Her cheeks were rosy when I pulled away.
I slowly slid my hand out of her pocket. I tried to hide my smile as I grabbed her hand and helped her out of the cart. "Sorry," I said to the technician as I tried to discretely shift my pants so that everyone on the boardwalk wouldn't see how hard I was. Not that I really cared.
"Can we maybe go somewhere that we can be alone?" she said breathlessly.
"It's still early," I teased. "Are you sure you don't want to do anything else first?"
"Actually," she said as she pulled me in the opposite direction of a hotel with a glowing vacancy sign. "Now that you mention it, I saw some people dancing earlier. That could be fun."
"I was kind of joking, Hails. I think being alone sounds perfect."
She briefly glanced down at the front of my shorts. "I'm pretty sure you're going to enjoy dancing too."
"It depends on the dancing." Fuck, I just wanted to be inside of her.
"Oh trust me. You're going to like this." She started to shake her hips as we got closer to the music.
She was probably right. I loved grabbing her hips. I just preferred it with our clothes off. She lifted my arm in the air and spun underneath of it as we entered the crowded open-air bar.
"This place is so packed!" she yelled over the music. "Maybe I can learn a few things for my dad's place."
"We're not here for work," I said and pulled her against my chest.
She laughed as she looked up at me. The music was fast paced, but we clung to each other like it was a slow song at a high school dance. She had completely consumed all my senses. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I could smell the faint scent of cinnamon as I nibbled the side of her neck. I could feel the softness of her skin on her lower back where my fingers had pushed up her tank top.
"Give me one second," she said and lightly tapped my chest.
I reached out for her but she was already disappearing through the crowd of people. Without her, I felt unsteady, like I needed to hold on to something. She grounded me. I needed her to hold on to me too. It's partially what had fixed me, knowing that someone needed me. I could be her anchor too.
After a few minutes passed, I began to get antsy. I pulled out my phone, but I remembered that I didn't even have her number. I started pushing through the people dancing as I searched for her. It didn't take me long to find her. She was standing next to the D.J. I was surprised by how instantly jealous I was that she was whispering in his ear and had her hand on his arm. It was silly. I knew it was just a habit from working at a bar for years. It still made me want to punch the guy in the face, though.
But then she glanced over to me with a huge smile on her face. Our song immediately started pumping through the sound system. Our song. I smiled to myself.
She pointed at me. "I was doing just fine before I met you." It looked like she was mouthing the words as she ran over to me. But when she got closer I realized she was singing at the top her lungs.
I laughed as she jumped into my arms. I held on to her thighs and kept her legs wrapped around me as she laughed too. She leaned forward wrapping her arms tightly behind my neck, as my hands slid to her ass.
"We ain't ever getting older," she whispered in my ear. She pulled back and stared down into my eyes.
We stayed like that for the whole song. Silently staring into each others' eyes as the lyrics blared around us. She was good at stopping time. I didn't want to move. I didn't want tonight to end.
"I wasn't actually doing fine before I met you," she said.
"Neither was I."
"I think we were meant to run into each other."
"I know that we were."
The smile she gave me made my knees feel weak.
"I love you, Tyler Stevens," she whispered as she pressed her forehead against mine.
I breathed in her exhales. "I love you. And I need you, Hails."
"You can have me whenever you want me. I'm yours."
God I loved the sound of that.
Chapter 45
Hailey
Thursday
He kicked the door closed with his foot and slammed my back against it. Our lips hadn't parted since the elevator. It was like I didn't need to breathe. I just needed him.
His palms slid up my thighs as I tightened my legs around his waist. God, I was soaked. As soon as he had caught me mid leap in that bar I couldn't stop thinking about being alone with him. This was the last time we could be toget
her for a long time. I was going to make it count.
His breathing was labored when he pulled away from me. "There were nicer hotels a little farther down the..."
"This is perfect, Tyler." I intertwined my fingers in his hair and kissed him again.
He pulled us away from the door and set me down on the edge of the bed.
I grabbed the hem of his shirt and pushed it up his abs. I wanted to see him. I needed to memorize every inch of his hard body. But when he didn't take it off, I grabbed the fabric and pulled him closer to me instead. He had no idea what he was doing to me. I needed him right this second or I was going to internally combust.
"Lean back," he whispered seductively in my ear.
I ignored him as I spread my thighs even more for him. If he wanted me to beg, I'd beg. "Tyler, I need you."
"Trust me, Hails, you're going to enjoy this." He slowly pushed my tank top up the sides of my torso, trailing his fingers against my skin. His touch sent shivers down my spine.
I put my hands in the air so he could take my shirt off more easily. But that didn't make him go any faster. He kissed up the length of my arm as he slowly pulled my tank top off over my head.
I was practically panting as he unhooked my bra.
The groan that escaped his lips as my breasts spilled out just made me even wetter. What the hell was he trying to do to me?
He slowly pulled the straps down my arms. "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met."
I swallowed hard. I hoped he meant that. I knew he had been hung up on Penny...
"Inside and out, Hails," he said as he put his hand on the side of my face. He slowly trailed his fingers down my neck to the center of my chest and lightly pushed, so that I'd lay down on the bed like he wanted. He leaned over me so that his arms were on either side of my head. "You're gorgeous. And I'm going to keep telling you that until you believe it." He kissed the side of my neck and I immediately moaned.
I felt him smile against my skin. "And I love what I can do to your perfect body." He left a trail of kisses down my neck and between my breasts.
"Tyler," I panted. "I need you."
