Cassie's Choice

by Donna Gallagher

  “Riles, all I can say to that one is if Caitlin was offering, there is no way in hell I’d be knocking her back.”

  “Amen to that one, coach,” Rook quickly agreed.

  “No! No! No! I do not want to go there either, thanks. That is my sister you’re talking about, Brodie. Can we please change the subject? What favour does Pippa want, Rook?”

  “Well, to be honest, I don’t know why I have to ask you, it is actually a favour for Cassie. She was hoping to get a few of us at her school’s fête. I think the principal is putting the hard word on her because of her association with Pippa and the rest of us. I’m happy to go. It’s two weeks after the GF so we should be over our celebrations by then. Just wanted to give you the heads-up is all. I’ll probably drag Cowboy along, if I can tear him away from Emily, that is.”

  As soon as he’d heard Cassie’s name, Riley had felt his blood pressure rise. Just her name did that to him. The memory of sitting next to her at dinner the other night, trying to make pleasant conversation and not just strip her naked and fuck her on the table in front of everyone, came crashing back. Why hadn’t she asked him herself? Well, because you treated her like shit, you idiot, the little voice in his head interjected.

  “I will leave you guys to it then. All this talk about my wife has given me the urge to go home. Don’t stay too late, Riley, it will all still be here in the morning.”

  Riley heard Brodie speak, but the words sounded foggy to his ears. He was still trying to recover his composure—push all those haunting thoughts of Cassie and him back down into his memory bank and lock them away again.

  “Rook, don’t get too over confident, we need to win this week before we can think about the Grand Final,” were Brodie’s last words, before he pushed off the wall and strolled out of Riley’s office.

  “Riley, you okay, mate? You look a little out of it,” Rook asked.

  Crap, he needed to pull himself together. He was really going to have to learn how to deal with this obsession over Cassie and soon, before it affected his job. She was one of his best friends’ friend. He needed to get over it, her. But first he had to pull himself together and answer Rook before the guy made too much of it.

  “Yeah I’m okay, just all this talk of the Grand Final is making me sweat. I’ve got so much to learn in this job and so much to do. Brodie was right about it being a shit of a time to join the party.” Riley only hoped he had covered his lapse into la-la-land enough to put Rook off. “Okay so give me the dates of Cas”—I can’t even say her name, damn it. It got stuck in his throat, choked him—“that school thing and I will put it in the calendar and put a notice out about it, see if we can get a few more players to go. It’s the least I can do…”

  Riley shouldn’t have added that last bit, but it just blurted out. Luckily Rook didn’t pull him up on it. That would’ve been the last discussion he’d ever want to have with Rook. Riley was still surprised that Pippa even talked to him, since Cassie was her best friend. The only conclusion Riley could come up with was that he hadn’t meant as much to Cassie as he had thought—she clearly hadn’t gone crying to Pippa about him running out on her. If she had been upset in any way, Pippa would have torn shreds off him. Riley knew Pippa well enough to know that.

  So it seemed obvious to him, and by the way everyone else was acting so normally, that he had been a mere blimp in the beautiful, sexy blonde’s life—in complete opposition to the effect she’d had on his.

  “Are you about ready to leave? I had to put the car in for service and could use a lift home. You could stay and grab a bite to eat with Pip and me. I’m sure she’ll have cooked up a truckload of food—she is taking this proper diet before a game thing to the extreme, mate. I’m at the protein stage, apparently, so you can bet she’s cooked up half a cow.”

  A night with Pippa and Rook was just what Riley needed. He’d been at the office since sparrow’s fart this morning and needed the break.

  “Sure I can give you a lift, and I wouldn’t mind the feed either. It feels a bit strange living back in the old place in Ashfield, all by my lonesome. I’d probably end up watching some shit reality programme on the telly with a bag full of greasy takeaway in my lap.”

  Chapter Five

  “I’m so glad you came over for dinner, Cass. I’ve been worried about you.”

  That was so like Pippa, she had always been there for her. Cassie should have known better than to think her best friend would ever judge her. But it had been hard reliving that shameful night. Not that being a consenting body in a ménage was shameful. Cassie didn’t think that at all. She didn’t judge people on what they believed or how they lived their lives. The shameful aspect for her was the fact that she had gone into the threesome for the wrong reasons. She hadn’t wanted to share herself intimately with Mike—her actions had all been over the fear of losing Riley.

  That had been the disappointing part for Cassie—oh and the fact that Riley had disappeared anyway. What self-respecting woman did that to herself?

  She had really let herself down on that occasion. My God, she was such a fraud. She knew no man was worth losing her self-esteem over. Or putting herself into a situation she’d not be comfortable with. She had taught so many personal development and sex education classes where she had said those exact words to the sexually awakening teenagers at the high school. Statements like “Never feel pressured to enter into a situation you are not one hundred per cent comfortable with” and “Having sex with someone should be a joint decision made together with a clear head, without the influence of alcohol, drugs or peer pressure,” being her most common advice. Yet she had not practised what she preached. She had broken every one of those utterances of advice.

  Thankfully her students never needed to know that. It was bad enough that Pippa knew her secret.

  “Thanks for inviting me. You sure the hubby won’t mind having a third wheel around?” Cassie asked as she picked up the potato peeler and began preparing the vegetables, just like she had done so many times in the past when she and Pippa had shared a house. Working away happily with Pippa preparing a meal or snack, it was so comforting, just like old times. Cassie had missed Pippa, a selfish emotion really—she knew Pippa was thrilled to be happily married and making a life for herself. But Cassie still felt a little left behind. She and Pippa had been friends since childhood. Had done everything together. Well, obviously not everything, thank God! The idea of sharing in a ménage with Pippa was just so awkward. Urgh!

  “Of course not, Cass, Mitch loves you. Hey, he slept with Cassie first… Remember?”

  “Don’t remind me, you evil woman. Stealing my name when you decided to have your wicked way with him. I still remember the look on Rook’s face when he ran into us both at that party. Poor guy!”

  It had been an uncomfortable moment for all concerned when Rook had realised who Pippa was and that she was not named Cassie at all but in fact was the coach’s daughter and the Jets’ new physiotherapist. The day I first met Riley. The unwanted thought entered Cassie’s mind, intruding in on that memory.

  “He got over it, I assure you. Not that the idea of a bit of role playing hasn’t crossed my mind every now and again.”

  Cassie wasn’t sure whether Pippa was teasing or serious, with the way her friend was laughing so hard.

  “Oh, my God, you’re kidding, right? Half the women in the state dream of sleeping with your man and you want to pretend he is someone else? Well I never…”

  “Who is sleeping with half the state?” another voice cut in. Rook had obviously entered the kitchen while she and Pippa had been distracted chatting. His question seemed innocent enough, but Cassie wondered how much of the conversation he had actually overheard. She turned around to see if she could figure it out but was immediately struck dumb with dread. Riley Walters, the man who had been in her thoughts only a moment ago, was standing beside Rook.

  “Hey, Cassie,” Rook said before moving towards his wife. The kiss he delivered to Pippa was so hot,
so intimate that for a moment Cassie forgot about Riley… But only for an instant.

  It was clear how much Rook adored Pippa, the kiss they shared, despite not being alone, was sizzling hot. Cassie’d always thought it so romantic the way Rook took Pippa into his arms after they’d been apart, even if at times it was a little awkward for those around who were not in love. Cassie could only dream of finding someone to love her so completely. Instead she was about to face the man who had ripped out her own heart.

  If there were ever a time she had wished for the ground to open up and swallow her it was now. Try as she might she could not drag her traitorous eyes from staring at Riley. He looks so good. Damn him. Damn me for even thinking it. Will this nightmare ever end?

  Chapter Six

  “Hmmm… You taste good, woman. But as we have guests you probably should control yourself, you can take me to bed later.”

  “Mitch Harris, stop that. Cassie knows it’s you who are enamoured with me and can’t keep your hands to yourself. Isn’t that right, Cass…? Riley—what are you doing here?

  Well, this is fucking awkward! He’d been blind-sided by the sight of Cassie standing in the kitchen as he and Rook had entered. Riley had glanced quickly at Rook’s enthusiastic greeting to his wife but Cassie, and the horrified look that had appeared on her face as she had set eyes on him, had quickly drawn back his attention. Rook hadn’t mentioned she would be there. If he had, Riley would’ve made an excuse not to come. Judging from Pippa’s reaction to him, he could just sense that this night was not going to go very well. He needed to get out of there fast. But how?

  “Nice to see you too, Pip,” he replied. “Rook invited me over for dinner. I gave him a lift to pick up his car. He called into the office and asked me, said you were cooking enough to feed an army…” Even to his own ear Riley could hear the sound of panic in his voice in response to Pippa’s question. He was rambling. Needed to just shut up. And now Riley had Rook glaring at him as well.

  “Nicely put, mate, way to get a guy in strife with the missus,” Rook said filling an awkward silence as he glared daggers in Riley’s direction. “I didn’t think you’d mind, Pip, and now that Cassie is here we can make a night of it.”

  Riley could see that neither Pip nor Cassie was as excited by the prospect as Rook seemed to be. He really should just make a hasty retreat. But the masochistic side of his psyche wanted to stay. Wanted to be in Cassie’s company—for better or for worse. Even though worse was probably going to be the result.

  “It’s okay… I can leave…” Riley said half-heartedly.

  “Yes, you’re good at that.”

  Cassie’s sarcastically toned response caught Riley by surprise. Not the words, but the way she had delivered them. Punched a hole right through his chest. The sound of her voice so harsh. He deserved it, though, Riley understood that. He knew what she meant. Cassie was referring to him leaving her and the state just to make it final.

  “Woah! Am I missing something here, guys?” Rook asked.

  Riley was not at all surprised that Rook had picked up on the tension that now filled the room.

  “Yes, darling, you really are… I think Riley has an apology to make to Cassie. And it’s been a long time coming.” Pippa walked towards him. Using her index finger she poked him in the chest. “I can’t believe you did that, Riley, and to my best friend. What, you couldn’t even manage a phone call or a text explaining what was going on? What were you thinking leaving Mike alone with her? The guy’s a sleaze—everyone knows that. You knew that, had heard the gossip. Don’t tell me you hadn’t, Riley Walters.”

  It was now very clear to Riley that Pippa knew the lay of the land. Cassie had obviously told her the sorry details. Riley was torn—his instinct was to flee, but Pip had been his friend for so long. Just how did you go about explaining your obsessive and violent tendencies to friends and keep that friendship? You didn’t. Rook wouldn’t want Riley anywhere near Pippa if he knew. Rook would probably run straight to Brodie, and Riley sure as hell didn’t want his sister or brother-in-law to know his shame. There was nothing he could do but leave.

  “Don’t, Pippa. Please let’s not do this in front of Rook,” Cassie begged.

  Riley could not have agreed more with Cassie’s plea, but Pippa didn’t appear to be ready to let him off the hook just yet.

  “Why, Cassie, don’t you think Rook deserves to know what his footy buddy and friend did to you while we were busy making our happily ever after plans?”

  “Pippa, Cassie, what the hell is going on?” The anger in Rook’s words was unmistakeable. Worry etched into his friend’s face as Rook tried to work out what was happening. Why this conversation was affecting everyone. “Riley, care to let me in on this? What’s Pippa talking about?” he asked.

  Rook had even stepped between him and the girls, and while Riley was glad that Pippa had ceased prodding him in the chest, the defensive stance from Rook made him all the more confident that they would not understand why he had left.

  Hell, he hadn’t even thought about Cassie’s safety at the time, not that he could imagine Mike being violent towards her, but hell, he hadn’t expected his own violent reaction—what a fucked-up situation.

  “I think it’s best if I just go. I really don’t want to get into this with you all. It was years ago, it’s not like we forced Cassie into anything. My memory of the night is she was more than a willing participant. Pippa, I can’t see where any of this is your business.” It was killing Riley to speak this way to Pippa—she was one of his best friends—but if it came down to it, he realised that she would pick Cassie over him.

  Riley still wasn’t sure what Pippa was so angry about. He was the one that had been agonising over that night’s events. Why Cassie had decided to tell all to Pippa, and now after all this time, was a mystery to him. Yes, he had done a runner, but Cassie had never made any indication to him that their relationship was anything more than a casual thing. Riley had prayed that she would, he’d have given his left arm for her to love him—not that he’d thought there was a likelihood of that ever happening. Not really—he’d been eighteen at the time, hardly good relationship material. He was a fling for Cassie—she would have said otherwise, right? God, his head was spinning. He just needed to leave.

  Rook grabbed at his arm just as Riley turned to leave. “Hold on, Riley, maybe we can sort all this out. The girls must be under some sort of misunderstanding or something.”

  “Well, mate, that’s their problem. See you tomorrow.” He shook Rook’s hand from his arm and headed for the door. Riley had walked this route so many times but never feeling quite as low as he did now. The hallway seemed to go on forever and he heard Pippa’s voice behind say, “Let him go, Mitch,” as he closed the door.

  Cassie had just stood there fighting back the tears while Pippa had confronted Riley. She was so embarrassed. The last thing she wanted was to air this dirty laundry in front of Rook. But it had been Riley’s comment that it had happened years ago and she’d been a willing participant that had finally awoken her from her trance-like state. He was right. She was the one who was obsessing over a night that had taken place years ago. What a fool she’d been and now she had threatened a friendship that had been going strong for years. Riley’s friendship with Pippa and Rook. It was time Cassie decided to move on. Get the hell over Riley Walters. Pippa looked so miserable and Rook confused. Cassie needed to set the record straight, even if it meant an uncomfortable conversation with Rook.

  “Pippa, Rook, I’m so sorry you are now caught up in my drama,” Cassie began. “This is exactly why it took me so long to tell you, Pip. I knew you would go overboard in my defence. I love that about our friendship.”

  “I love you, Cass, I hate to see you hurting.”

  “I love you too, Pip, but maybe this time I’m in the wrong. Riley made a valid point. I was a willing participant even if it was for all the wrong reasons.”

  “Would someone please fill me in on what the hell is going
on?” Rook demanded. “Why I feel like I should be hunting Riley down and kicking his butt?”

  Even though Rook had tried to make his threat sound like a joke, Cassie heard the worry beneath the attempt to lighten the mood.

  “Rook, this is quite an embarrassing story for me…” Once again Cassie found that admitting to what had taken place in her bedroom on that night years ago left her feeling ashamed. Confessing that she had only taken part for fear of losing Riley made her cringe, made her sound so pathetic and weak.

  “I don’t know what to say, Cassie.” The way Rook was looking at her almost made Cassie squirm. His gaze fixed so intently on her, Cassie felt like he was looking right into her mind—reading her thoughts. Seeing her true feelings for Riley, hiding in the deepest shadows of her being.

  “What I’m about to say is probably going to get me in the shit with Pip, but I think we need to get some rational perspective here. So you had a threesome. Honestly, Cass, there is nothing to feel ashamed about. So you didn’t enjoy it… Okay, you know not to bother going down that road again. Stop beating yourself up about it. You did it for Riley—that’s okay too. We do things for the people we care about. I think it’s bullshit that you did it to stop him from leaving. At the time you did what you thought would make Riley happy. I promise you, Mike never said a word. I would have heard. Sexual conquests are unfortunately a popular topic in the sheds.”

  It was so good to hear from Rook that she hadn’t been the subject of locker room gossip. Cassie had worried about that—it was one of the reasons she’d stopped going to the Jets games. Rook was not finished, though.

  “I think the problem here is that Riley ran… And to be honest I think it’s not what you girls think. You must have been so hurt, Cassie, not hearing from the little idiot again, but if you ask me, Riley Walters didn’t run from you, Cass. He ran from himself. God, I can’t believe I’m the only one that can see what’s going on. I’m turning into some kind of Sensitive New Age Guy.”