Fast Connection (Cyberlove #2)

by Megan Erickson

  Luke: Is that a problem for you too?

  StaffSgt: No! No fucking way. I’m guessing you schedule your sexytime for weekends when they’re away?

  Luke: You guessed correctly. Feel better?

  StaffSgt: Yup. Much. Thanks man. Sorry for being invasive. I just wanted to make sure.

  Luke: Your moral concerns are almost endearing.

  StaffSgt: A compliment! Oh shit. You’d never compliment me on anything but my ass in person.

  Luke: Probably.

  StaffSgt: Why? Easier to talk on here?

  Luke: Yes.

  StaffSgt: Whatever works, bud. Whatever works.

  Chapter Six

  StaffSgt: I bought a bunch of fancy underwear and I want to know what you like

  Luke: This is not a conversation I want to have.

  StaffSgt: Come on! Help me out. So many choices

  Luke: You don’t even wear any when we see each other.

  StaffSgt: Yeah, but what if I want to do a sexy strip tease or something? You’d totally get down on watching me shake my ass

  Luke: That’s not necessary.

  StaffSgt: Uh huh. How about these?

  A picture filled the Grindr message box. Dominic had taken a picture of his reflection. He was naked except for a pair of skintight dark blue boxer briefs. Two yellow racing stripes framed his bulge. His generous mouth was curved up in a naughty smirk even though he was holding up his middle finger.

  Luke: Why are you flipping me off?

  StaffSgt: I don’t know. It’s like my hands don’t know what else to do in pictures

  Luke: Wear those.

  StaffSgt: …yeah?

  Luke: Have them on when I see you next.

  StaffSgt: ;)

  * * *

  StaffSgt: I danced with the dancing guy today

  Luke: lol you did?

  StaffSgt: Yeah! I saw him on Victory. He was jamming to Usher. Took me back to high school.

  Luke: Way to make me feel old.

  StaffSgt: I like you old.

  Luke: …

  StaffSgt: Well not old. Older than me.

  Luke: Right.

  StaffSgt: Younger guys couldn’t dick me down like you do, right?

  Luke: Damn right

  * * *

  StaffSgt: This waiting thing is getting out of control. Don’t you have a babysitter?

  Luke: Friday.

  StaffSgt: …Rigid fucker

  StaffSgt: Anyways, what’re you doing right now?

  Luke: I’m about to go to sleep.

  StaffSgt: That mean you’re in bed?

  Luke: Yup. You wearing those new briefs?

  StaffSgt: Nah. I’m nekkid

  Luke: Nice. Grab your dick.

  StaffSgt: oh fuck, are we sexting?

  Luke: Just fucking touch yourself.

  StaffSgt: I am. I was just thinking about you. I’m already hard

  Luke: Good. Pump your hand.

  StaffSgt: Already doin it. Wishing you were here

  Luke: Pretend I am. Right there on the bed with you.

  StaffSgt: what are you doing to me?

  Luke: I’m deep-dicking you so good you can’t even talk. You’re moaning like a slut and pushing that ass back into me. You can’t get enough.

  StaffSgt: Holy shit.

  Luke: I’m gonna leave bruises on you, I’m holding on so tight as I drive into you. Making you take every inch.

  StaffSgt: yea fuck me hard

  Luke: Just like you like it. I’m pounding that sweet spot while you beg me not to fucking stop.

  StaffSgt: I’m gonna come. fuk omg

  Luke: Good, pump harder, make a mess.

  StaffSgt: Uh, i did. Holy shit

  StaffSgt: You’re good at sexting. You come too?

  Luke: Yeah.

  StaffSgt: wait… did you do that just to shut me up?

  Luke: Yes. It was completely altruistic.

  StaffSgt: I don’t know what that means

  Luke: I was being sarcastic.

  StaffSgt: …

  Luke: Go to sleep.

  StaffSgt: I’ll sleep well now

  Luke: Me too.

  * * *

  StaffSgt: Who was the first guy you were ever with?

  Luke: What does that mean?

  StaffSgt: Like… you were married. Was your first time with a man before or after that?

  Luke: After.

  StaffSgt: When did you get divorced?

  Luke: Why are you asking me this?

  StaffSgt: Just curious. Sorry. I’ll mind my own business.

  Luke: …

  Luke: I’d always known I was bi. But I got with my ex-wife early, so I hadn’t been with a guy sexually. We got divorced when I was 25. That’s when I began to see men too.

  StaffSgt: Oh.

  StaffSgt: Wait, holy shit! Your kids are teenagers??

  Luke: Yeah

  StaffSgt: Wow. Was the divorce amicable?

  Luke: Yes. We’re better as friends. Always were.

  StaffSgt: That’s nice. Sometimes I feel like it’s hard to be friends after I hooked up with someone.

  Luke: I’m sure you hook up a lot.

  StaffSgt: I used to, yeah. Fucked my way through high school and even while I was in the army. Between deployments, I picked up girls at clubs or whatever. Overseas I started fucking around during my last deployment. I’m horny 24/7 and I’ve always liked looking at guys. Just never… gave much thought to it until I was without a girl.

  Luke: Uh huh.

  StaffSgt: There was this one guy—Garrett. Fucking hot and stoic. Reminds me of you a little, actually. Maybe that’s my type?

  Luke: Get to the point.

  StaffSgt: Geez, you’re just like him. For real. Anyways, he gave me an opening and we started fooling around. Had some issues due to me being a jealous asshole, but I thought we were cool at the end of it all. Was hoping we could stay in touch.

  Luke: For what purpose?

  StaffSgt: To have a friend who isn’t an entitled Staten Island juicehead driving mommy or daddy’s car? That’s basically… all of my friends. Or d-bag conservatives. I never realized how awful my old squad was until I joined the army.

  Luke: Heh. Okay. I can see why you’d want to expand your circle.

  StaffSgt: Right? Anyway, he isn’t interested I guess. I wonder if his boyfriend doesn’t like it or maybe he just doesn’t like me. I’m only likeable when I’m getting someone off I guess.

  Luke: Don’t be an idiot.

  StaffSgt: I’m serious

  Luke: Seriously an idiot. If you weren’t likeable, I wouldn’t be typing so many words on fucking Grindr. That’s saying something.

  StaffSgt: :) Aw, you like me!

  Luke: shut up.

  * * *

  Luke: Hey

  StaffSgt: Am I seeing this right? You messaged me? THIS IS A FIRST.

  Luke: Fuck off. You didn’t message me like you usually do and the weather is shit.

  StaffSgt: Okay lemme rewrite that for you: Hey Dominic, it’s pouring outside and it’s flooding, so I was worried for your safety. Are you okay?

  Luke: Why did I even bother.

  StaffSgt: Hey, it’s okay to check in. I’m good tho

  Luke: Great. You home then for the day?

  StaffSgt: Yeah close enough.

  Luke: Good, stay there.

  StaffSgt: I like when you get bossy

  Luke: Bye Dominic.

  * * *

  StaffSgt: Hey. You around?

  Luke: I wasn’t, but I am now.

  StaffSgt: It’s okay. Nvm.

  Luke: What’s wrong?

  StaffSgt: How do you know something’s wrong?

  Luke: You didn’t open with a joke or stupid comment. And you used punctuation.

  StaffSgt: Yeah. I guess I usually act like a clown.

  Luke: I didn’t say that.

  StaffSgt: It’s a fact tho

  Luke: What’s wrong with you

  StaffSgt: Do you really give
a shit, Luke? Like for real

  Luke: I’m asking, aren’t I?

  StaffSgt: :)

  StaffSgt: I just feel like a scrub. I’m not where I thought I’d be after getting out of the army. Makes me feel like I should have just re-upped and crawled back into the MRAP to wait to get my fucking head blown off.

  Luke: What do you mean you’re not where you thought you would be?

  StaffSgt: Dude, it’s like I’ve gone back in time. Like I never got anywhere or did anything. I hate it. And even tho I hate it, I wake up every day and keep doing this same shit routine instead of trying to make a change.

  Luke: You’re in a rut.

  StaffSgt: pretty much yes

  Luke: Why don’t you look for something else?

  StaffSgt: I don’t think I’m qualified to do shit else, man. What do I have to put on my resume? My kill count? My training with weapons? I don’t want to go into security or be a cop. I don’t want another job carrying a gun or using my size to intimidate people. You know? But I’ve spent 8 years in a fucking desert or on an army base, and now I’m nothing in the real world.

  Luke: You’re being too hard on yourself. You have plenty of skills.

  StaffSgt: I’m not and I don’t. Trust me.

  Luke: There are plenty of jobs that don’t require fighting or carrying a gun. Healthcare, for one. Or teaching.

  StaffSgt: Dude, I’m a fucking moron. I can’t teach anyone anything.

  Luke: Stop.

  StaffSgt: sorry. This is too deep for a Grindr convo. I’ll STFU.

  Luke: That’s not what I meant. Look… I have experience with radical lifestyle changes. If you want, I can help you.

  StaffSgt: Really?

  Luke: Really.

  StaffSgt: Thanks, Luke.

  * * *

  Luke

  I checked my Grindr messages one last time. Dominic had been a little off—and definitely more forthcoming—lately. I worried about the kid now and wondered if he’d given more thought to what kind of job he wanted to look for.

  I understood what he was going through when it came to leaving the military and wondering what the fuck to do next. I’d been there, except I sure as hell wasn’t proud of my discharge papers. At the time, I’d wanted to forget I’d ever served despite it being the most important part of my life for so many years.

  I’d started Rawlings Landscapes when I had only a couple thousand dollars to my name. No assets. An ex-wife. And two kids. I’d been terrified that one bad job would put me under, but I’d worked my ass off and people had kept hiring me. While I certainly wasn’t buying a mansion in the Hamptons with a sunken tennis court, I could pay my bills with enough left over for the kids as they got older.

  So yeah, I knew where Dominic was coming from, and it’d been hard to hold back from telling him my life story.

  I’d already broken enough rules for the kid.

  But I’d do my best to help him navigate through this time in his life. I was fond of him. All right, so I liked him. Fuck, I was acting like a teenager.

  When we talked, sometimes I worried about revealing more than I should, but it was so easy online. In person, I was hyper-aware of the people around me—what were they thinking? Feeling? Online, I could just type it. Send it out into the ether. And getting a text response didn’t put me on edge.

  Dominic wasn’t the first man to try drawing me into actual conversations on an app, but he was the first I’d responded to. Maybe it was because he seemed so unaffected by my brusqueness, or maybe it was just this genuine affection I was starting to feel for the guy. Just seeing his name in my messages made me smile. It wasn’t a reaction I’d had with anyone in years, which was alarming.

  Shaking off the thoughts, I glanced at the clock. I’d just come home from work and showered, but Nadia was stopping by. She claimed to be dropping off a pair of Chelle’s boots, but she was bringing Anderson.

  I’d grumped to Nadia about the surprise meeting, and she’d asked when a good time would be. When I’d said, “Never,” she’d laughed and informed me they’d be over in a couple of hours.

  Someone knocked, and I opened the door to see her standing beside a tall—but not as tall as me—guy wearing dark slacks and a polo shirt. Nadia said he was an accountant, and he sure as hell was dressed like one. Wardrobe aside, he was good-looking with his deep russet complexion, dark brown eyes shielded by black frames, and broad shoulders. He scanned me, clearly sizing me up, and held my steady gaze once he was done. There was a wariness there that was probably echoed by me.

  Nadia laid a hand on his arm. “Anderson, this is Luke Rawlings. Luke, this is Anderson McCompsey.”

  He reached out a hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

  After shaking, I managed, “Same.” Small talk. Small talk. I was rusty. “So, Nadia tells me you’re an accountant?”

  He nodded. “I have my own firm in Brooklyn. Actually, we need the landscaping redone, so I might be calling you.”

  That was an olive branch, which I appreciated, even if he never called. “Sure. Nadia’s got all my numbers.”

  I glanced at her, and she was looking between us with delighted hearts in her eyes.

  “Thanks for coming over to meet me before the kids. Nadia probably told you I’m protective…” I shrugged. I didn’t think I had to make apologies for it, but I wanted him to see where I was coming from.

  “I have kids too, man,” Anderson said. “My ex doesn’t understand why I ask for an introduction to anyone who may be spending a lot of time around my boys. It would be hypocritical of me not to understand your feelings on the matter.”

  I looked him right in the eye. “Appreciate that.”

  “Oh!” Nadia said. “I came over here to drop off Chelle’s shoes and forgot them in the car.”

  She started for the door but stopped when Anderson gripped her hand. “I’ll get it, baby. You said your heels were hurting your feet.” He smiled at her, the affection clear on his face.

  “You’re sweet. That’d be nice.”

  After he left, she started to speak, but I cut her off. “I don’t need to like him. If he smiles at you like that and treats you well, that’s what I care about.” After a beat, I added as an afterthought, “I think I do like him though.”

  Her face softened, and I panicked for a moment that she’d cry.

  “Luke…”

  I wondered if I’d ever looked at her like Anderson did. As teenagers, it’d been all hormones and lust. And then we’d married and it’d all fallen apart. But not until we’d made two great kids.

  I respected her like hell and I loved her, but even now, I wondered if I’d been in love or if I’d just been desperate for the affection I’d never gotten as a kid. With my dad unknown and my mom mostly gone, I’d spent my childhood underfoot at my grandfather’s house. He was not what anyone would call warm. When I bothered to analyze myself, I reasoned that was why I was so overprotective of my own family. I wanted to hold on tightly to what I’d never had.

  And then there was that whole thing with Jake. His actions had solidified my paranoia. Probably forever.

  Anderson returned and set a shopping bag on the floor. “They’re in there.”

  I nodded. “Thanks. You two have plans?”

  Anderson had a nice smile. All strong bones and white teeth. “Since we’re on the island, I was thinking we could go to this tapas place by the ferry called Beso.” He glanced at Nadia. “You always want to sample everything when we go places, so I think you’ll like it.”

  I liked that—him speaking to her rather than to me as if she weren’t standing right there. It showed respect. And he damn better show respect. I cleared my throat to draw their attention. “One of my employees went there recently and said it was good. Said to order the chorizo-stuffed dates wrapped in bacon.”

  Nadia’s eyes went wide. “That sounds fantastic.”

  “Good.” Anderson appeared genuinely pleased that she was so into his suggestion. “Should we go?”

/>   “Yes. I’m ready for it. But would you mind if I talked to Luke for a second?”

  “Of course.” He nodded at me. “Nice to meet you.”

  “You too.”

  Once Anderson was out of earshot, Nadia turned to me. “Are you seeing someone?”

  “Where did that question come from?”

  “Chelle said you’ve been on your phone a lot lately and smiling at it. Also, she caught you laughing.”

  “And that makes you think I’m seeing someone?”

  Nadia crossed her arms over her chest. Again with the Look.

  “I’ve seen the same guy a couple of times, and I plan to see him again. But it’s just sex.”

  “Then what’s the deal with smiling at your phone?”

  “I can’t smile at my phone?”

  She waited me out.

  “Fuck, this is annoying,” I said. “He messages me. And he’s funny, okay? He’s late twenties and says dumb shit, but he’s a good guy. Doesn’t seem to care that I grump at him. In fact, I think he likes it for some weird reason.”

  Nadia was smiling so hard she was probably pulling muscles in her cheeks. “You have the cutest look on your face right now.”

  “Stop it.”

  “I’m serious. I think this is what you needed, some young guy who makes you lighten up.” I scowled while she clapped her hands, bracelets jangling. “Do I get to meet him?”

  “You know the answer to that.”

  Her face fell.

  All right, I was about done. “Don’t you have dinner to get to?”

  She sighed. “You’re frustrating.”

  “I’ve been told. By my ex-wife, in fact.”

  She laughed and rose onto her toes, puckering her lips. I leaned down so she could brush a kiss on my cheek. “You take care of yourself, Luke.”

  “You too.”

  I closed the door and leaned against it. The kids would be home in an hour or so, and I had a couple more days until I saw Dominic. I’d be lying if I said the anticipation wasn’t killing me.