Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  I considered a subtle way to bring it up. “Maybe after things settle a bit, you could reconsider? I mean, I understand your situation, but my boss and I agree that you could be a star.” The rush I’d imagined I’d have from telling him he could be a star was dulled considerably given the mood of things, but I kept hearing Rowena’s voice saying “Don’t lose him”.

  “I’ll tell you what, you come down and see me and maybe you can convince me.” His voice had deepened and it sent a soft tingle straight to my core as if he’d whispered the words warm against my neck.

  I took a breath and prepared to throw ice water on the fire. “What about Ella? I don’t think she’d appreciate the sort of convincing you have in mind.” My brows pinched tight as I regretted bringing her up. I was sure to make a fool of myself before the call ended.

  “I told you that was a misunderstanding.”

  Confusion angered me. “No, you said we were a mistake. Wait, what do you mean by a misunderstanding?”

  “My mama was just trying to make trouble because she wanted to run you off. Ella isn’t my fiancée. She’s my ex who has warmed more beds than blankets. She even slept with my brother, Ted.”

  “Wow, your mother did all that for you. Well, she must not like me at all.” I couldn’t imagine being around the ranch with her ill. It would only make things worse. “It’s probably best I stay clear.”

  “No, it’s fine. She told me to go after you and said she’s sorry about what she’s done. I’ve forgiven her and I hope you can too. She’s a great lady. Just gets a bit wound up over us boys.”

  “Well, I suppose a mother is allowed to make a few mistakes where her children are concerned. She must love you all very much.” I remembered the confrontation and how upset his mother had been. Her dark brown eyes shadowed above her plump, pale cheeks. And that Ella, all the lies she’d sold so well, must have been the future she’d lost when she slept with Ted. Her ruined dreams she’d turned to ammunition against me, in hopes to one day get them back perhaps. My heart raced at the possibility of going back down to Oklahoma. If I went, I would have to think of a good excuse to tell Rowena.

  “Yeah, but now it makes a hell of a lot more sense why you ran off. I don’t blame you one bit. I just wish you’d come to me first so I could have set it straight. Ella has pulled some stunts, but it was never anything I’d share with my mother. So Mama had no idea she’s the one that wrecked me and Ted’s relationship.” He paused and cleared his throat. “Anyway, that’s enough about all of that. I really wish you could get away and come back down.”

  “I wish I could. Rowena is already angry with me over my last trip.”

  “Maybe it will work out someday. I’d sure like to see you again.”

  “You will. Just don’t give up on your music. It’s who you are. You can do both, you know. Take care of your family and still have music in your life. It’s all about finding balance.” That was the subtle nudge I’d have to give him. I couldn’t let him just bail on music. It was too important to him.

  “When you left I put my guitar in the attic.” He gave a soft chuckle. “I’m glad you needed that demo, because it was a good reason to get it back out.”

  “Promise me you won’t do that again.” I wanted to scold him, but I kept my voice soft.

  “I won’t. I sang for my mama at the hospital. She encouraged me not to give up. I just don’t know when I’ll have time.”

  “I know things are busy on the ranch, but it’s okay if you make time for yourself. We all need that.” I felt a tiny bit guilty saying the words, since I was the worst at taking care of myself. “It’s sweet that you sang for your mother.”

  “I was afraid it might be the last time.” His voice cracked and he took a deep breath, releasing it heavy into the phone. “When I did that demo, I pretended I was singing for you.”

  “I really hope you do. I have faith in your talent, David, in you.” My eyes grew misty with tears as I said a silent prayer for his mother. She’d put him back on track and I wanted to see her again so I could thank her.

  “I had a great time when you were here. I hope you did too.” There seemed to be doubt steeped in his tone.

  “Of course I did.” The memories of being under him on the truck sent more tingles through me and I wondered if he had the same reaction.

  “You think about it?” I detected a smile in his voice, like I’d seen and heard before.

  “Yes, do you?”

  “Mhm.” Heat crept through me as he moaned his affirmative, reminding me of the way he’d moaned against my lips. “I miss you,” he whispered.

  “I miss you too.” The joy built up inside me as I said those words. It felt right to say them, to think them. I wasn’t the shameful homewrecker I’d never intended to be, the one his mother had accused me of being. The shame that held me down all week, had weighed a ton on my battered heart. The guilt left me and I was free.

  Even better, David wasn’t a liar or a cheat. He was an incredible talent, an amazing person, and if I were lucky, in time, I’d not only land him as my client, but I’d truly make him mine. Rowena had nothing to worry about; there was no way I was letting this cowboy get away from me again, but now was not the time to push anything on David.

  Chapter 17

  David

  With Daddy not around to line us out, my brothers and I had relaxed in executing our morning chores, and with Mama not around to ring the dinner bell, we’d taken to eating cold cuts or whatever else we could find. After lunch, I found myself in the middle of the day with nothing to do but sit and worry about Mama, so I dusted off my jeans and took my guitar out to the front porch to strum it a bit and dream of Sarah. Strangely enough, my music, which had always reminded me of my grandfather, now reminded me of her.

  No sooner than I’d started, as if the sounds had summoned him like a beacon on the wind, Kinsey arrived in his old black Cadillac. The dusty ride’s brakes squealed as he stopped out front and he shouted his greeting out and rolled-down his window before he even opened the door.

  “Well you’re sure a sight for sore eyes. I’m glad I had the notion to come out your way at this particular hour.” He motioned to my acoustic and climbed the steps, taking them slow.

  “Yeah, you caught me.” I offered my hand to greet him and he took it into his callused one, gripping it tight.

  His brows furrowed as he took a seat in the rocking chair beside me. “How’s your mama doing?” The old man had known my parents for years, all the way back to high school.

  “The doctor said it’s going to be a long road, but she’s strong and seems to be doing real good. Daddy’s been up there the whole time. We can’t get him away for too long. He came home and got some clothes and rushed right out again. Me and Ted are looking after things, but it feels different without them here.” It was a future where they were dead and I was stuck.

  He took out a handkerchief and wiped his brow. “I bet it’s strange. I don’t think your mama’s been away for this long since they married. Good to hear she’s getting along. She’ll be fine, that one. She’s a tough lady.”

  I rested the guitar on my lap. “Yeah, she’s that. I’m glad you came out and I appreciate you checking on her. I’ll be sure to tell Dad you stopped by when he calls.” I pulled my guitar close and started to strum it again. “You know, I’d like to have my gig back if you haven’t replaced me already.”

  The old man’s lips twitched and curled at the corners. “Well, I guess that would work for me. It’s not the same without you around anyway. Besides, you’ve got too much talent not to use it.”

  “Well, my mama wants me to follow my dreams. I’ve always hoped it would take me places. I guess I’ve always wanted my music to matter. Maybe even change someone’s life.”

  Kinsey reached over and patted my shoulder. “You already have right here in this little town.” A wide smile spread his lips showing his crooked tooth. “Well, I hoped I’d come out here and talk you into coming back, and to my surpr
ise, here you are, guitar in hand. You’ve made my day easier.” My cheeks grew warm. It was nice to have someone like Kinsey, who gave a damn.

  “I’ll be there tomorrow night.” I held out my hand and we shook on that deal.

  Kinsey listened to me play for half an hour and as he drove away I rested my guitar against the porch railing and stood to stretch. I had to get back to work. One could only slack so much around the ranch.

  Before I could take two steps, I heard Kinsey’s horn, and glanced up to wave. That’s when I saw it. Kinsey wasn’t honking for me, but a small car that was kicking up more dust than a desert tornado.

  It can’t be. I didn’t want to allow myself that big of a letdown, but as it got closer, I saw my little green-eyed beauty behind the wheel. I slowly walked down the steps, one at a time, only hesitating a moment before I broke out into a sprint across the yard.

  Sarah skidded to a stop and threw open the door and I didn’t wait for hellos as I pulled her into my arms and crushed my lips to hers. She relaxed in my arms as I deepened the kiss, needing her as close as possible. Her breath quickened as her hands found my hair and I kissed down her neck and leaned down to nuzzle against her. “What are you doing here? Won’t your boss be mad?”

  Her eyes met mine, her head shaking quickly. “I don’t care. I’ll figure it out. I just had to come.” Her warm hands brushed inside my shirt against my back. Then she slipped one to the front and placed it flat against my chest. “I know you can’t worry about singing right now, and that’s fine, but I wanted to come help you around here if you’ll let me.” Tears welled up in her eyes and I kissed her forehead and pulled her closer.

  “Of course I want you here. It’s all I’ve wanted since you left.” She melted against me and I considered how long she’d been on the road. She must have driven at least nine hours if not more. “Did you even sleep after we got off the phone?”

  She let out a long yawn, and rubbed her sleepy eyes. “I tried to, but I tossed and turned. I packed up and headed out about eleven hours ago. I stopped a couple of times.”

  Knowing she’d been that anxious to get back to me swelled my chest with pride, but at the same time I couldn’t help but be disheartened that she’d risked such a long trip back at that late an hour.

  Her hair was flat and her eyes heavy with dark shadows beneath them, and even if she looked more disheveled than I’d ever seen her, she was still my gorgeous girl. “You need to rest.”

  She moaned and sank against me. “I could use a place to lay down for a bit.”

  My cock stiffened against my zipper thinking of her bare sun-kissed skin tucked between my sheets. I scooped her up into my arms, her legs dangling across my elbow, and she nestled quietly against me as I headed into the house. She felt lighter than I remembered and I glanced at her body thinking she’d lost a few pounds that she didn’t have to lose. Guilt about the misunderstanding ached through me and I hoped I didn’t have anything to do with it.

  I took the stairs slowly, trying carefully not to let her feet hit the wall. She cuddled against me and now and then I’d catch her green eyes peering into mine. I rounded the corner and hurried down the hall to my room. I went inside and kicked the door shut behind us, then leaned over to place her on the bed.

  As soon as her back hit the mattress, her arms hitched around my neck and she pulled me down, her lips finding mine in a heated rush. If I didn’t stop her, I’d have to take her, and she was much too tired for the welcome home I’d give her. Home. The word lingered and burned in my mind. Could this ever be her home? I’d never given much thought to where this could lead, beyond a contract, but I liked the idea. I broke the kiss and pulled away. “You need your rest and thanks to my easy morning, I have to work. We have a truck of feed coming in about an hour. I have to unload it.”

  She moaned in protest, and I took her pouty lips with my own, giving her a smile as I pulled away. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  She sat up, cutting her glance up at me. “Fine. I’ll just make myself comfortable.” Her hand slipped up the front of her shirt and she slipped it over her head, revealing her perky breasts that filled out the lacy bra. A bead of sweat formed on my brow as my cock twitched in my pants. She bit her lip and lay back, her brown hair spilling against my pillow as she unbuttoned her jeans and slid the faded denim past her hips and down her legs.

  I glanced at the lace concealing her soft mound and licked my lips. “You’re adorable when you’re trying to seduce me, but I have to go. Trust me, there’s no place I’d rather be than right here beside you. Well, besides inside you.” Her face turned red and she giggled. Ted’s voice sounded from downstairs and I cursed under my breath that he might come upstairs looking for me. “See, they need me.”

  Her hand trailed down my arm. “I need you. But go.” She lifted a shoulder and smiled slyly. “Just think about me lying here in your bed, waiting for you.”

  I belted a laugh. “Oh, I will.” I gave her a quick kiss and headed out, giving her one last look over my shoulder. “Sleep well.”

  Hurrying down the stairs, I gritted my teeth at the long list of things I had to do, and with any luck at all I’d be done before dark. Not only was there a truck of feed, but I had cattle going out and more coming in. There were shots to give and tags to secure on top of everything else. But at least when I was done, I’d come back up to an angel in my bed.

  Ted waited at the bottom of the stairs. “Is that the agent’s car outside?” He gestured a thumb toward the front door.

  “Yeah, she’s going to be staying awhile.” I kept walking knowing he hadn’t followed.

  “You think this is a good time? We can barely take care of this place.” I stopped and turned to see him rake his hand through his hair.

  “She wants to help out. It will be fine.” I threw open the screen door and hurried down the steps toward the barn.

  Ted caught up and followed. “She doesn’t know anything about ranching.” I remembered her first day at the ranch and how hard she tried. She was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. So small and determined with her little heels sinking in the dirt.

  “I’ll teach her. But I’m sure she knows how to cook. Besides, Mama’s garden needs tending, she’ll do just fine.” I went into the barn and found my gloves.

  “You’re gonna tell Daddy.” His eyes met mine as a slow smile crept across his lips. “Might not be too bad having a soft female around here.” He licked his lips.

  My blood raced, but I wasn’t going to let him get to me. “She’s not Ella.”

  “No, she’s so much hotter.” He chuckled as Mason approached.

  “The truck is about ten minutes out now. Where are we going with this feed?”

  Ted nudged my shoulder. “Ask Davey. He’s calling all the shots. He’s even got himself a house guest.”

  Mason’s eyes narrowed. “House guest? Don’t tell me it’s Ella.”

  Ted belted a laugh. “No, it’s that talent agent from Tennessee.” They exchanged a smirk.

  Mason glanced toward the house. “Where is she, and how long is she staying?”

  “She’s in my bed asleep. She drove in overnight. It was a surprise.” The two kicked around at the dirt like they had something they wanted to say. “What?”

  Mason held up his hands. “Nothing. You tell Daddy yet?” Mason was the worst when it came to Daddy. He was always seeking his approval and terrified of disappointing him.

  “Hell, I’m twenty-six years old. I think it’s well past time I bring another woman around. Besides, they didn’t care when Ella was around.”

  Mason rolled his eyes. “None of us cared when Ella was around.” He and Ted laughed as if they shared a special secret. Ella was beautiful on the outside, and if she’d entertained Mason the same way she had Ted, I didn’t want to know.

  “Don’t talk about Ella around Sarah. It’s a sore subject and after what Mama pulled, she owes me this.”

  I walked into the office where Ted and I had already s
tarted to organize things to suit us. Our dad would be lost and maybe even a tad angry that we’d ruined his system. He, no doubt, knew where everything was before.

  Mason stood at the door. “You know Mama would put her in the guest room.”

  “If she were here, maybe.” I released a long breath. “Okay, look. I’ll tell Dad as soon as I talk to him. I’m sure he has other things to worry about, but just so you don’t have to feel like it’s a big secret, Mase.”

  He shrugged. “It’s your ass.”

  Ted laughed. “Feel free to bring whoever home while you can. I won’t tell.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, besides, this isn’t a competition to see who can bring home the hottest woman. She came to help out.”

  Mason’s eyes narrowed at Ted. “Who are you thinking about calling? Lauralee Langston?”

  “Yeah, call Lauralee over, that’ll go over so much better with the old man.” I glanced up to see that Ted was not amused. His hard glare burned through me, but as he opened his mouth for rebuttal, a horn blew outside. The truck had arrived.

  Chapter 18

  Sarah

  David’s bed was like a cloud and I roused to find that most of the day had gone while I lay there sleeping. I rolled over and listened to hear if anyone was in the house, or close by. I didn’t hear anyone so I glanced to the bedside table and saw David’s phone. I hadn’t seen a land line outside of a hotel in ages, and I picked it up to see if it actually had a dial tone and smiled when it did. I swallowed hard knowing I had to call Rowena.

  She was expecting me to bring David in and while I hoped that I could convince him, I needed more time. Guilt crept in and settled deep as I thought of David. I’d come to help, sure, but I also had other reasons for showing up on his doorstep. I did care about him, with my whole heart, but if I was going to ever live my own dreams, I needed to convince him to go for his. I dialed Rowena’s office and waited for the tongue lashing she’d surely dish out.