Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  "If you're not going to keep your hands to yourself, get out of here, Jon," his mother chided his father, the older man looking over at him and winking. Jake smiled and shook his head, his adolescent mind already knowing what was to come. His father was forever playful, forever looking for a way to get in trouble by his wife.

  Her long dress was blue and the white apron she wore made the kitchen seem very homey. The smell of bacon and toast filled the air around Jake and he breathed in deeply, his older brother Kade walking in and popping him on the back of the head as his mother's laughter filled the air. Jake stood and walked to the edge of the kitchen, his twelve-year-old body thin and far too tiny for his liking. He looked down at himself and back up at his parents, his dad holding his mom tightly, kissing at her neck as she squealed and laughed.

  "Don't just stand there. Come help!" she yelled at Jake.

  He smiled as his father turned them around, holding his mom like a hostage. He looked over her shoulder with a challenging smile on his strong features. "Come and try, boy, but you'll never get her. She's mine!"

  A maniacal laugh filled the kitchen, the drama only broken by Kade's teenage voice yelling from the hall as he passed. "You guys are dumb."

  His mother frowned as his father looked over toward the hall. Jake took his chance and bolted for them, his father turning in time to move his mother and grab him, pulling him into the air and spinning him around as he kissed at his neck. Jake squirmed and fought against it as they wrestled in the air just behind his mother. She finally turned around and swatted both of them on the butt.

  "Get out of here or pick up a spatula."

  Jake's dad set him down and rubbed his back, his other hand reaching for a spatula. He popped Jake's mom on the butt and tossed the spatula to Jake. His mother turned around and balked.

  "Young man, that is inappropriate!"

  His dad joined in. "Yes it is, son."

  Jake put the spatula down and rolled his eyes. "You know that was dad. Please..."

  His parents pulled each other close again and went back to cooking together, his dad looking over as he made his way back to the chair he'd occupied earlier. "Make sure to find you a good woman to love you like your momma loves me."

  His mom looked over and smiled too. "And make sure you guys cook together. It creates a bond when you do the simple things in life, baby."

  He simply nodded, not caring about love or cooking or being close to someone else. He asked the one burning question that sat heavy on him at twelve.

  "When's the food going to be ready?"

  His hands pushed through his hair as hard emotions swam in his stomach. He hated the idea of wanting someone, but the desire to share his life with someone constantly pressed him from all angles. Being weak wasn't a choice and yet women had the ability to make the strongest of men fall on their faces, lose their jobs, their houses - their hearts. He ran his hands across his chest, Kari's smiling face filling his mind. The way the sun had set behind her earlier, her casual stance and comfortable clothes, stained his vision.

  What was her story? What was her past? Was she running from someone or something or was it much simpler than that? Just wanted to move to Maine and finally got to?

  Questions beat at him as he tried like hell to push back the desire to know her. Seeing her several times in the matter of a few days was weird. His mom would call it God's hand, but God had a funny way of bringing love into his life only to pull it violently back out.

  "Not sure I trust you, Big Guy, but if it is you, just show me, okay?" Jake leaned back again, looking up at the ceiling and sighing loudly. Love would have to wait. Life would have to be put on pause. There were more important things pressing him at the moment.

  "Yeah, like laundry." He chuckled and got up, walking to the bedroom to start working on getting more than a jockstrap clean for the upcoming trip.

  ***

  Kari swirled the long noodles around her plate, the butter separating from the cream in her sauce and reminding her quickly how bad the meal was for her waistline. She looked up at her friends and her brother, the only person missing at the table being Jake. She smiled at the thought and stirred the contents of her plate again, swirling a noodle on her plate and lifting it to suck it down as her brother stared at her.

  "Why you so quiet down there?" He nodded at her.

  Sicily and Lisa stopped talking about killing off the only baker in town and looked down at her as she slowly chewed her pasta. Picking up the glass of red wine in front of her, she took a quick sip.

  "I'm just thinking. This is really good, by the way. Your mad cooking skills have done it again." Kari smiled at Sicily.

  "Stop diverting. You've barely said two words this whole meal. What's up?" Lisa asked, her own glass of wine half gone for the third time as it wobbled in her hand. Marc reached over and took the glass, winking at the rowdy redhead before setting it down and looking back to Kari.

  "What's up with you?"

  Kari shrugged. "I just wish I didn't want to get to know this new guy who keeps popping up everywhere."

  "What new guy?" Marc's voice filled with tension.

  "The hottie coach?" Sicily asked and waggled her eyebrows.

  "Hell yeah, the hottie coach. Did I tell you he's our landlord, too?" Lisa laughed and turned to Marc as the look on his face turned from welcoming to a grimace of sorts.

  "Your landlord is a hottie coach?" he asked, sitting back and wiping his mouth with the white napkin from his lap.

  Kari shook her head and laughed. "He's a really good guy and yes, I did know. He stopped by today to mow, but helped me put together the swing instead. I figured you could mow before you leave tomorrow?"

  Marc nodded, getting up to go to the small window in the kitchen. He leaned over the sink and turned back with a smile on his face. "Damn... it is together. How long did it take him?"

  Kari sat back, setting her fork down. "He used the instructions, so an hour or so?"

  "Instructions are for pussies." Marc shrugged as Sicily huffed at him.

  "Anyway, why don't you just ask him out?" Lisa shrugged.

  "Because she just called off her wedding two weeks ago. Time flies, yeah, but this was a really big deal. She loved Frank to and needs to heal," Sicily spoke up, filling in the holes in the conversation.

  Marc and Lisa looked down at her, the look on her brother's handsome face showing that he wanted confirmation from her, not Sicily.

  "Yeah, that's part of it. The other part is that this guy is everything I want physically. He's also funny and seems to be a great catch."

  Marc pretended to gag as Lisa swatted at him. She turned to Kari and smiled, her expression softening. "Get to know him then. You don't have to be anything other than friends at first."

  "She's right, Kari. Something is up for sure. You've run into him a million times over the last few days," Sicily added in.

  "You're all right." Kari stood and reached for her glass. "I'm going to go outside. Just need some time to think by myself."

  "You sure?" Marc asked as the other two girls looked at him, their expressions seeming to change his mind about going too. He held up his hands defensively and laughed. "Okay! I was just asking."

  "We're here if you need us, sweetie." Sicily lifted her glass in the air. "To new beginnings?"

  Everyone echoed their sentiments as Kari walked down the hall, through the laundry room, and out into the chilly early spring night air. She moved to her favorite spot at the far end of the wooden porch, the moonlight echoing along the water of the bay. A long sigh left her as several emotions swirled in her chest, her stomach tightening as fear dominated.

  She set her glass down and leaned her forearms on the railing, leaning forward and letting the vision of watching Jake put together the swing fill her mind. Her chest ached at the thought of wanting to know him. He was too good to be true and yet to have someone so good looking and a hometown hero, and yet be single? There were skeletons in his closet.

 
; "What if he's not interested in a friendship?" she asked the nature around her. "What if he's jaded like me? What if he doesn't find me pretty enough or interesting enough to try?"

  She sighed again and pressed her forehead to her hands, a smile playing on her lips at the playful banter between them. Had she found her confidence, her self-worth again, the afternoon might have gone very differently. She would have used the time to win him over, to casually brush by him a little more than she did - to tease him.

  A small laugh bubbled up in her as she lifted her head, closing her eyes and imagining him without his T-shirt, the thick ropes of his abs on display for her to enjoy, to touch, to taste. She bit at her lip, her fingers tingling at the images her mind worked to create. Standing there for a few more minutes, she tortured herself before walking into the house and yelling goodnight to everyone.

  Kari walked languidly down the hall and pulled off her comfy clothes, chucking them in a pile with the rest and wrapping a towel around herself before heading to the shower.

  The water was hot and the drumming of it pelting her skin gave her peace. She finished up and wrapped a big towel around herself, using the smaller one for her hair. She cleaned her face and brushed her teeth before heading back to her room. Kari closed the door and walked to the long windowed walls of her bedroom, pressing her warm hand to the cold glass as she looked out over the bay again. Beauty in nature like nothing she had ever seen before lay on display. A smile touched her lips and she wondered where Jake was, what he was doing.

  She stepped back, the warm print of her small hand fading slowly from the glass. Her heart would heal from everything that happened with Frank, but maybe Jake was supposed to be part of that. A friendship couldn't hurt. If it turned into something more, great - if it didn't, that was okay too. She moved to sit on the edge of her bed, her thoughts of nothing but him. Tomorrow she'd find a way to learn something new about him. Whether that meant seeing him again by chance, or researching more about him at the paper.

  One thing was for sure. So far, he was everything she'd ever wanted in a man. Whether knowledge would burst that bubble or open up a whole new future for her was a gamble, but wasn't love always? Wasn't life?

  She pushed back tears of fear and excitement, and changed into her PJs before crawling into bed, her body curled up and facing the large windows. One small step at a time would be comfortable, less intimidating, and if things didn't work out as friends, then she would walk away before letting herself start to love him.

  Start to love him... God I hope not.

  His lips were soft, his mouth wet and warm as he kissed his way down her shoulder, looking over to smile at her. The depth of acceptance and love in his eyes stole her breath and she shuddered. He breathed in deeply, turning back to the skin just above her breast, the tip of his nose dragging toward her neck, his body pressed tightly to hers. The weight of his figure was more than she was used to, and yet it felt right - good. Security and belonging cloaked her in the moment, and his movements, so methodical and sensual, settled her mind and soothed her spirit.

  "Beautiful," he whispered as his lips brushed by her ear, his hands on either side of her head, his elbows pressed into the soft comfort of her bed. He hovered just above her, using his nose to carefully rub hers as he stared at her. He was bold and confident, strong and demanding. He leaned down to kiss her and she arched her back, lifting her lips to meet his, not wanting to wait another second. She violently needed his offering of intimacy and where the moment was sweet and endearing, she knew the passion that lay beneath the subtleties of her own intent.

  His fingers sunk into her hair, gripping the back of her head as he groaned softly, his tongue brushing across the crease of her lips. She turned her head a little, a moan leaving her mouth as it opened. He took full advantage of her parting and slipped his tongue into the softness of her mouth, Kari groaning at the taste of him finally being hers to enjoy.

  The kiss was long and needy, both of them taking and giving until he broke it, his eyes glossy and full of passion. Pressing his forehead to hers, he closed his eyes, but she couldn't. She stared at the angelic structure of his face, his long eyelashes tickling her, his warm breath driving her mad. He moved back just a little and looked down at her.

  "I love you, baby," Jake whispered softly, a quick kiss to seal the deal.

  Hot tears burned her eyes and she just nodded.

  She loved him too.

  Chapter 17

  Kari's dream stayed with her as she got ready for another day of trying to figure out life while living it at the same time. She dressed in a pair of gray slacks and a silky blue shirt, taking the time to fix her hair and makeup just perfectly. She needed an excuse to stop by and see Jake because chances of them running into each other were slim to none - or were they?

  Her friends joked and laughed in the kitchen, her brother's grumble causing her to smile. She walked in and grabbed a mug of coffee to go, talking for a minute and then heading out. Kari sat in her car for a few minutes, digging through her camera bag to make sure she had everything she needed. Her new assignment at the paper was to take a few photos for a large centennial festival that would happen in late April. They wanted to show the historical parts of the town and feature the new growth in the last fifty years or so.

  "Where is my lens cap?" She moved everything out of her camera bag and sighed. Not having the piece would leave her camera lens open to being scratched, and they were far too expensive to allow for that. "And yet it's been like this for the last few days. Idiot."

  She got out of the car and walked around to each door, opening it and digging around in parts of the car to check and double check for the piece. With no luck, she got back in the car and drove to the office. Surely she had left it on her desk or in the break room or something.

  She parked and grabbed the bag, pulling it onto her shoulder and hustling to the front door. Remembering her coat was something she rarely did and yet she hated to be cold. She opened the door and walked in, the place much too quiet. "Anyone here?"

  Dumb question. The door was unlocked, genius.

  Martha popped her head out of the break room. "I'm here. Cliff's wife went into labor earlier this morning, so he's at the hospital."

  Kari smiled and walked toward her boss. Martha laughed and returned the smile. "That's great news! Is everyone doing okay?"

  Martha nodded. "Yeah, they're doing great. Labor went well and the little boy is healthy and whole."

  "Can't ask for much more." Kari moved to the door of her office, walking in and talking over her shoulder. "You haven't seen my camera lens cover, have you?"

  "Nope." Martha moved into the doorway and leaned against it, her large body filling up most of the opening. "You heading out to take pictures today?"

  Kari looked over her shoulder as she moved papers around her desk. "Yeah, I just really need to find that cover. My lens gets scratched and I'm screwed."

  "Where have you been lately? Just the school or have you taken other shots?"

  Kari plopped down in her chair, thinking. "Hmmm... I guess you're right. It must be at the school."

  "Gives you a reason to see the handsome coach again at least?" Martha smiled and waggled her eyebrows.

  This was true...

  "Very true." She stood and walked to the door as Martha backed up. "Do you know what he eats for breakfast?"

  "Ummm, I wish?" Martha laughed and walked back toward her office with a loud whimsical sigh. "I love young love."

  "We're not in love. He has my camera part."

  "You're damn glad he does too, aren't you?" The older woman turned and lifted an eyebrow.

  Kari laughed again, nodding. "That I am."

  ***

  Jake tried to shake the angst that pressed against his spirit, his dreams the night before a swift reminder why being anything for anyone was a bad idea. His parents might have had a relationship that most would die for, but all of his had left him beaten up and hating life.

>   "Fuck 'em," he muttered, hating the sound of his disdain as he parked and got out. Grateful for the ability to cover up insecurity, he righted his shoulders and walked down the hall of the school, waving and greeting everyone as if everything was fine.

  Kari being in his face the last few days had shaken up desire in him again, and honestly, he didn't know what to do with it. The old him would have already pinned her to a wall and kissed his way to her heart, but that was then. He'd matured some and had more than his share of shitty relationships. They seem so new and shiny in the beginning, and then one day you woke up and found out that perhaps you were the only one being faithful.

  "Bitch," he muttered under his breath, walking to his office and closing the door. He picked up a lonely basketball and threw it hard, the object smacking the wall and bouncing back at him. He hated Bethany, which he knew was a sure sign that he still loved her. Three years of loving her from afar. He'd heard she'd gotten engaged to the dude she'd cheated on him with, but he'd lost track of her then - on purpose.

  Kari would be the same. They'd become friends and then it would blossom. She was exactly his type, and had stolen his thoughts and desires since the wine aisle incident. His blood percolated at the thought of undressing her, letting his hands memorize the soft curves of her body, the taste of her lips on his. He growled loudly, chucking the ball again.

  "Stop it. This isn't going to happen. Until you get your fucking head on straight and let go of Bethany, this isn't happening." His anger deflated, leaving him tired. He walked to his large leather chair and sunk down in it, the sound of it accepting his weight almost soothing. A knock at his door had him slipping on his facade and sitting up.

  "Come in." The cheerful sound of his voice sickened him.