Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  She swallowed the hot burn of disgust mixed with extreme sadness. Kari rolled her eyes at her before ordering, her friend not happy with not getting to pay.

  "I'll have a medium pumpkin spice coffee with extra pumpkin spice and double the whipped cream."

  "Now we're talking." The guy smiled at Kari and glanced to Sicily. "You want the same?"

  He expects you to because you're the fat girl. Of course you want extra and doubles of everything.

  "Uh, no. I'll take a glass of water, please." Sicily extended the card to him, the frown appearing on his face a replica to Kari's.

  "No, she doesn't. She wants one of what I got." Kari reached out and tugged the card back.

  "No. I don't." Sicily glanced toward her friend, a warning on her face. She was rarely terse with anyone, least of all Kari. They had been friends for the last two years and Kari was unbelievably loyal and kind. Sicily would rather slap a baby than hurt Kari's feelings.

  "Sis... we've been waiting all year for these to come back. What's the deal?" Kari tilted her head, confusion on her face.

  Sicily couldn't get into her issues in front of the handsome boy who seemed to be staring them down, waiting for some awkward cat fight that just wasn't going to happen.

  "She's right." Sicily turned back to the guy. "I just had a big breakfast. Can you just make me a normal one with low-fat milk and no whipped cream please?"

  "You bet. It’s better the other way, but I'm happy to..."

  Sicily cut him off, barking at him, which was far out of character for her. She felt like shit the minute she did it. "Low-fat milk. No whipped cream."

  "Absolutely. It will be ready in a few minutes, girls." He smiled and nodded toward the pickup counter after checking them out.

  Kari reached out and brushed her fingers down Sicily's arm and they moved to the counter. "Hey. What's going on? Talk to me."

  Sicily glanced up and sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, pressing her teeth into it as tears filled her eyes again. She needed to get a hold of herself, but her damn weight was ruining her life, changing her personality, wrecking her sense of self-worth.

  After all these years of being careful and taking care to keep herself healthy, she watched her mother die from heart disease and then decides to follow her?

  A tear rolled down her face and she glanced toward the door. "Grab our drinks and I'll meet you outside."

  She turned and walked out of the coffee shop, leaving Kari with most likely more questions than Sicily felt up to answering.

  She just wanted to be left alone.

  Chapter 2

  Sicily had done her best to push the conversation off the night before, Kari less than thrilled with her unwillingness to open up. How would she start a conversation like that anyway?

  "I hate myself most days because I've gotten fat like my mother? I don't want anyone looking at me because all I see is condemnation and pity?"

  Making a sharp left turn, she let out a soft growl and pulled up to the shop. A little red truck was parked in the spot beside hers, the young guy she hired at the end of the summer a god-send. Martin was nineteen and had just graduated in May from Bar Harbor High, but he wasn't yet sure what he wanted to do with his life, so his parents gave him a year to figure it out. He would be forced to go to college the following year. She was happy to have him as long as he could stay.

  Sicily let her emotions wash out as she sat in the serenity of her car and forced herself to focus on the day she had ahead of her. The small square in the middle of the town had two bakeries and she was the one with all the sweets and treats. Judy's was more savory treats, but they had the occasional donut or muffin. The woman who owned it was a vicious bitch that Sicily tried to avoid like the plague.

  She was too tall and thin for her own good. Her reasons behind owning the shop more to do with her insatiable desire to own the world than wanting to provide something delicious for the residents to enjoy. The plan from the on-start was to work the bitch out of business, but her elderly mother was actually the chef behind the efforts and after meeting her... Sicily couldn't do anything but help support the older woman when possible.

  A smile lifted her lip as she thought about Lisa and Kari spending hours in the kitchen trying to decide what the three of them could do to put Judy's out of business. Two bakeries in a small town would never work, but somehow... it did.

  She got out of the car and pulled her purse over her shoulder. Turning to glance around the square, she noticed a few cars outside the hardware shop, one of them seeming all too familiar.

  Drake DeMarco.

  Sicily rolled her eyes and walked quickly to the shop, wondering if she should park her car behind the store so that he wouldn't realize she was there. If he didn't stop by it would be a glorious day. The man had an incessant need to be in her face, offering her every deal he could come up with to join his gym. He seemed to like fixer-uppers and she wasn't interested in being one of his projects.

  Being his for a long night of hot sex - anytime... unless she had to take off her clothes or he wanted to keep the lights on. She shook her head, realizing how ridiculous she was being. Drake wasn't interested in a relationship or sex. He wanted to help her lose weight and get healthy because that's how he made his money. Too bad he was Kari's boyfriend Jake's best friend. That simply meant he was in her life to stay. Good thing she had gotten quite comfortable with telling him to take a hike.

  The problem was... he never did.

  Martin pulled the door open with a big smile on his face. His shaggy blond hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail and his blue eyes filled with wonder.

  Oh, to be young and hopeful again.

  "Hey, boss lady. I was starting to wonder if you were coming in. You take one day off and all of a sudden you’re late and I don't see the chocolate powder I texted you that we need." He moved back as Sicily walked in and reached out to brush a leaf off of her arm.

  "Oh damn! You did ask me to pick that up." She turned as the door behind her opened.

  Drake.

  "Pick what up? Need me to go grab something for you guys? I don't have to be at the gym for a while." He slid his hand over his stomach, his movements accentuating the eight pack that lay beneath the tight t-shirt. The man had to be the most beautiful thing in all of Maine. His dark hair begged for someone's fingers to run through it over and over again. His eyes were almost black, his skin beautifully tanned and his personality that of an alpha male with world dominance in mind.

  "No. We're good." Sicily turned back to Martin. "Do you need the powder this morning? I can run back out after I double-check inventory."

  "We have an order at eleven, so I need it pretty soon." Martin glanced toward Drake. "Mr. DeMarco. How are you, Sir?"

  Sicily moved toward the counter, dropping her purse in the open cabinet beside the register as the two guys started to talk about their long summer and how much Martin could lift now thanks to Drake's help. She tried to appear busy, not wanting to seem eager to hear anything Drake had to say. It had been a long six months of trying to hide how much she wanted to be a part of his life. He was far beyond her league when she was thin a few months back, but now... impossible.

  No need to embarrass herself with hoping for something that would end in extreme rejection. Her friends badgered her nonstop about Drake, both of them misunderstanding his constant nagging for a crush. He wasn't interested in anything but her membership to his gym and the ability to tout to everyone that he had worked the town baker into shape. He was a dick most days - balking at her cooking and leaving her to feel like a walking heart attack, which she most likely was.

  "I keep trying to get your boss to come see me." Drake moved toward the counter, tapping it as Sicily looked up.

  "Oh yeah?" Martin moved up beside him, the wonder on the boy's face something Sicily was used to seeing. He wanted to be a chef and to own his own place. He was taken with her simply for that reason alone. She enjoyed it... it meant she was doing something r
ight in some part of her life.

  "I don't have time." She glanced back down, pressing a few buttons on the register to bring it to life. "Besides, no one trusts a thin chef."

  "There's always time to work on your health, Sis," Drake responded.

  She jerked her head up, her glare too harsh seeing that Martin took a step back. "I'm not interested in you soliciting in my shop today, Drake. It's Sicily and I'm busy. So is Martin."

  "Sure am. Nice to see you again, Mr. DeMarco." Martin waved and slipped behind the counter, walking into the back room as Sicily held Drake's stare.

  The determination on his handsome face was insanely hot. It took everything inside of her to push back the desire to agree to the training just to feel his hands on her, to spend more time with the cocky bastard.

  "When are you going to stop pushing so hard against me?" He leaned in as she took a step back. No way was she ready for him intimidating her into their awkward partnership with him as trainer and her as the love-sick fat girl.

  "When you back off. I'm not interested in having you put me with all the other trophies on your wall. I have work to do. By a full-fat pastry or get out." She crossed her arms over her chest.

  A smirk lifted the side of his mouth and he nodded. "I'm going to get your chocolate powder. I'll be back shortly. You're coming to the gym tonight, not for me or anyone else, but for you."

  "Are you calling me fat?" She lifted her eyebrow, her chest constricting painfully. She would not break down in front of him, or anyone other than her closest friends. If he attacked her in this moment she might not have a chance to push back her sorrow any further though.

  "I would never do that. I'm sick of watching you mentally fuck yourself." He moved around the counter and she took another step back. "Stop running from me. I want to help you find yourself, Sicily. I'm not the dick you make me out to be."

  "No clue what you're talking about." She shrugged and bent over, pulling a five dollar bill from her wallet. "Thanks for going on the errand for us."

  He snatched the bill from her and growled softly. The sound of it rushed across her skin, searing its way down to the pit of her stomach and making her feel desire like she never had before.

  Let it go. He's not interested in broken down chunky girls. He wants someone who takes care of themselves. That's certainly not you.

  "Be at the gym at seven tonight. If you're not... I'm going to come and get you myself."

  "Hogtie the hog?" She steeled her features, forcing herself to look hateful.

  He started to respond before shaking his head and letting out a short, angry breath. Turning on his heel he walked out, letting the door slam.

  She couldn't help but regret her last words. Now he would start thinking of her like the pig she was. She let out a long breath as the door to the kitchen opened and Martin stuck his head out.

  "Coast clear? You okay?"

  She nodded, swallowing her emotions. "Yeah. I'm good. You take the counter today. I want to bake. When Drake comes back just get the receipt and tell him I'm busy. I don't want to see him again." She walked toward the kitchen as Martin moved back for her.

  "Why are you and Mr. DeMarco so tense with each other? Were you dating before?" Martin's voice was soft, caring.

  "No. He wants a fixer-up and I'm not interested." She shrugged and started towards the back, Martin's response following her.

  "He's after the wrong girl then."

  ***

  The rest of the morning was busy filling various orders, but as always, things slowed down around two in the afternoon. Sicily finished cleaning everything up and stopped by the front to make sure Martin was done with his chores as well.

  "Great day. We had tons of people in here. We might need to look at picking up holiday help if it keeps being so crazy." He smiled and leaned against the counter.

  Peace sat on her for the first time in a long time, her cooking a large part of who she was and yet she had pushed the responsibility off to her only employee because he loved it too. She would have to split up their time in the kitchen to make sure they both got to do something they enjoyed and the shop still ran the way it was supposed to.

  "That's not a bad idea. Let's put a sign on the door for part-time help. You think, like, ten to two Thursday through Sunday?"

  "Absolutely. I'll see if I know anyone who might want to come help us." Martin pulled his keys from his pocket. "I'm headed to get a burger. Come with me?"

  "I can't. I need to get home and help Kari with a few things. Next time." She winked at the kid, grateful for his kindness. He didn't seem to judge her, but simply accepted her for who she was.

  "Rain check." He smiled and walked to the door. "See you tomorrow, boss."

  "I'll be here." Sicily walked toward the door and locked it behind him. She watched him go and let out a long breath. She needed to try to start getting back in shape - on her own.

  She kept a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt in her locker in the back, just on the off chance that she decided to actually do something about her lack of exercise. She made the decision to lock up and go for a short jog, allowing herself to walk when she needed to. Doing something was better than nothing.

  Changing quickly before she could change her mind, she slipped out of the shop and locked it up. A chill picked up and ran across her, the air seeming to have dropped fifteen degrees. She let out a soft yelp and walked back into the shop, shivering.

  "That's not happening."

  She needed an indoor track or a treadmill. Picking up her purse, she left the shop, knowing that this would be a watershed moment in her journey to get healthy. She needed help, and though she hated herself for admitting it... Drake was the only one in town capable of helping her get her life back.

  She would set up rules and lay down the law on him. As long as he stuck to them... she would come back the next day. For today she would just ask for the tour and the chance to run on one of his treadmills. Surely he would allow her that without plaguing her to death.

  Chapter 3

  It took damn near forever to force herself out of the car when she got to the gym. The large brick building in front of her seeming far too commercialized for their sleepy town. The parking lot was half-full, which was surprising seeing that it was only three in the afternoon. Did all of the retired folks work out? Probably. Most of the people she had seen walking the streets were relatively healthy.

  I'm in the minority here.

  The door to the gym opened and Drake moved out, holding the door for an elderly couple. The smile on his face was kind, the expression reaching all the way to his eyes.

  Sicily let out a long sigh, her heart fluttering in her chest. There was no way he would ever see anything but a project in her, but God if she didn't want him to.

  He glanced toward her, a smile spreading across his mouth.

  She couldn't help but stiffen as he walked toward her, waving once more to the older couple before stopping outside of her door.

  Opening it, she stood up and looked him in the face. "I wanted to go for a jog, but it's too damn cold. Can I rent an hour on one of your treadmills?"

  He chuckled, his eyes moving across her - judging her no doubt. "It doesn't work like that, but if you'll let me give you a tour of the place I might make an exception seeing that we're friends."

  She moved out of the open door and closed it, trying like hell to appear calm and casual. "Is that what we are? Friends?"

  "I'd come a'running if you called. I think that's what friends do."

  She shrugged and walked toward the large building, the lights and sounds causing her heart to race slightly. The last time she had been in a gym was when she was a freshman in college, one of her boyfriends being quite taken with her, but asking her to lose a few pounds. He was concerned that she was gaining weight and he wasn't willing to date someone that didn't care for their body properly.

  She'd joined the gym and he had slept with one of the trainers a week later. Great experience.
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br />   "So give me this tour and do your best to remind me that I'm overweight and need a membership. After I suffer through all of that trauma... I'd love to simply run in peace for about thirty minutes." She walked in and glanced over her shoulder, pinning him with a hard stare.

  His athletic shorts were perfectly made for him, the large bulge at the front of them causing the air to rush from her lungs. She jerked her head around as heat burned her neck and chest. Surely he hadn't seen her ogling him.

  How mortifying.

  Drake moved up beside her and tapped his hand on the front desk as a pretty dark-haired girl walked up, her eyes brilliantly green. "Hey Drake. What's up?"

  "This is Sicily Moretti. She's a friend of mine. Can you grab Violet and ask her to give Sicily a tour of the facilities?" He smiled kindly at the girl.

  "Of course." She glanced toward Sicily. "Nice to meet you. I'm Jasmine. We'll have you fill out this liability form and then Violet will walk you around. She's uber nice."

  "Oh." Sicily glanced at Drake, who winked and walked off. She couldn't help but follow him, the perfect swell of his rear leaving her wanting to let down her guard far more than she ever would. What the hell was wrong with her? Lisa was the sex addict. Sicily was much more like Kari. She wanted a solid friendship that moved into a relationship, and sex was a maybe after a lot of dates.

  Drake was just the perfect body type for her wildest fantasies. That's one of the many reasons why she needed to stop fantasizing about him. He had taken center stage for far too many of her thoughts as of late. She found herself being more and more hostile toward him simply to protect herself.

  "He's a great guy. You're a lucky girl if he calls you a friend." Jasmine smiled and picked up the phone, calling for Violet.

  Sicily nodded, feeling like shit all of a sudden for expecting the worst from him. Maybe his pleas to get her into the gym weren't about scoring a buck, but simply because they belonged to the same close group of friends. She wanted it to be because he saw something romantically that he wanted to explore, but there was no way. He was far too much man for her.