Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  "I don't think so. I want to, but I really think I need to be at the shop. Who knows where all of this shit is going?" Sicily turned and fixed a to-go mug of coffee.

  "We'll be here to deal with all this shit. You need to go. It’s obvious that he cares deeply for you. Don't waste the chance to spend some time with him." Lisa gave her a knowing look.

  "I'll think about it." Sicily forced a tight smile and picked up her keys.

  Going with Drake to Chicago would be a great way to look into his life a little and make sure she belonged there. Her hormones and heart were sold on the idea, but the fact that he was capable of pulling so many strings meant he was still powerful. The life might be in the past, but like a well-worn picture book, he had access to bring it out and breathe life into it at any time.

  If they got together and things didn't work... would he let her live her life outside of him or would he force her to stay close? He seemed like the controlling type. Where she was grateful for his ability to help her, and quite taken with him, her brother was right... he was dangerous.

  "In more ways than one." She pulled up to the bakery and got out quickly. Martin's truck was there, which meant the little shit wasn't in jail. "Surprise, surprise."

  She walked into the shop as a bell jingled above her. Turning to look up at it, the sound of his voice behind her caused her to jump.

  "Mr. Carrington dropped that off this morning."

  "Oh." She turned and pinned him with a stare. "We need to talk."

  "You bet." A beeper went off in the back room and he nodded. "Let me grab that and I'll come right back out. It's a fresh batch of cinnamon rolls. I think I got them right, finally. I swear I thought I was going to have to bake them every night this week at home to get them to be more like yours."

  She put her purse up as he disappeared into the back room. Sadness sat on her at the conversation to come. The kid wasn't nefarious from what she could tell. He had to simply be a tool to those that were though. He thought he would get away with it. Or at least she prayed that was the case. To have him be a bad guy would temporarily shatter her faith in humanity.

  Sicily worked to get the register ready as sickness rolled through her. She didn't like confrontations, but the conversation had to come from her. Everyone had stepped up to help her run the shop over the next few days so she could get away with Drake, but now just didn't seem like the right time.

  "Okay. They look good, but they still aren't yours." Martin stopped beside her and hopped up to sit on the counter. "You look beautiful today."

  "Thanks." She glanced up at him before putting some space between them. Sicily wrapped her arms around herself as tears burned her gaze. She wasn't going to cry, but the situation left her no choice. Why anyone would want to hurt her was beyond her.

  "What's wrong? Did something happen? Did Mr. DeMarco hurt you? I can help, Sis." He moved toward her and she held her hand up.

  "No. I spent half the night in jail last night for the fire at Judy's. I would never hurt anyone – ever. They took my fingerprints and berated me that your grandmother was in the hospital, as if my nasty attack on Margaret's bakery led her there. I've been nothing but good to your family." She let out a small sob. "I've taught you everything I know and treated you like my own family."

  Martin paled visibly, his warm gaze growing wide with fear. "I didn't have a choice, Sicily. They didn't leave me a choice in the matter. They have more power than anyone in the city."

  He moved toward her and she shook her head, her voice gaining strength. "No. Everyone has a choice. You made yours, so get out. If the cops don't pick you up soon, then I have no faith in anything in this shitty little dot on the map."

  "Don't do this. You know I wouldn't hurt you." He moved to stand in front of her, sliding his hands over her shoulders as she tried to jerk away.

  "Stop it. Get out and take your lack of options with you." She choked on another sob, pissed at herself for caring for the kid like she would a brother. He obviously didn't have enough sense in his head to care about his future. The truth almost always came out... and now his life would be forever changed because of his shitty decisions.

  "No. Don't do this. I'm sorry. I can fix it." He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her as she jerked back to find the counter pinning her in place.

  "Get your hands off of me, Martin."

  "No. I love you. I'm sorry and I'll make it right. Don't pull away from me. You know we belong together. One day we'll own this beautiful little shop together and everything will be all right. I'll spend my life making it up to you." He took her face in his hands as she pushed at his stomach.

  "Get off!"

  The sound of Drake's bark almost caused her blood to run cold. The hate on his handsome face was shocking as he barreled into the shop and caught Martin by the back of the neck. Drake jerked the kid so hard that he flew into a group of tables and chairs and landed with a sickening crunch.

  "You sorry motherfucker. Thinking you were going to fuck my girl's name up and get away with it?" Drake turned and went after Martin as he tried to stand.

  "Drake. No. Leave him alone. The cops can deal with him. You don't need to."

  Drake picked the kid up and punched him in the face three times in quick succession before Sicily could get to him. The boy’s head lolled to the side as he passed out.

  Sicily grabbed Drake's arm as he lifted it to punch him again, the handsome man she'd given her heart to nowhere to be found.

  The guy in front of her had blood on his hands and vengeance in his gaze.

  "Stop it!" Sicily screamed at him as she tugged his arm back.

  "He has to pay for what the fuck he did. This isn't a simple situation, Sicily. He fucked us over."

  "He fucked me over. I'm good with the cops having at him. Put him down and get out. You're going to kill him."

  "He deserves to feel the pain of what he did. Move back." Drake turned his hard gaze onto her and she saw the killer he used to be. A tremor ran through her as she slapped him in the face hard.

  He dropped the boy and turned to face her.

  "Get out. Now. You're no better than you used to be. You're not a new man, but the same man you've always been."

  Her words caused him to visibly flinch, but brought realization to his gaze. He nodded once and walked to the door as his shoulders slumped.

  "Drake. I didn't mean that. Please. I just don't want..."

  He cut her off, lifting his hand as he scoffed. "No, it's good. You're right. It was a monster who fell in love with you. Who dropped everything and risked his safety to call in favors to save you. Who showed up today to remind you that you're loved and cherished?"

  Sicily glanced toward the door to see roses scattered everywhere. Her stomach fell as she walked toward him.

  Martin groaned on the floor next to her and she realized she needed to call the police or an ambulance. Someone had to help the boy, but first Drake needed to hear her heart.

  "I'm sorry."

  "Yep. Me too. All this time you've been so fucking concerned with me judging you and yet you're the only one in the judgment seat."

  "I would never judge you. Ever."

  "You already have, baby. Good luck with this stuff. I'll be around if you need legal assistance." He nodded and walked out, his eyes cold and words true.

  She had judged him, and now he was gone.

  Chapter 20

  "I'm sorry you had to deal with this, Miss. Moretti." The lead officer on her case shook his head and kept his eyes turned toward the ground.

  "It's okay. I just wish Martin wouldn't have been the criminal in this." She forced a smile as Paul glanced up, the man having been a good friend to Drake during the whole process. For that, she was grateful.

  "And you're sure you want this record to read that you put a hurting on the boy that has him going to the hospital?" The cop lifted his eyebrow and tilted his head slightly. He had to have known it was Drake who laid the wayward teen out on the ground.
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  "Yes. He attacked me and I acted in self-defense. I'm from the streets of New York, officer." She shrugged and moved her gaze to rest behind him as the paramedic's loaded Martin up in the ambulance. "He's going to be okay, right?"

  "Yeah. Just standard procedure." Paul turned and let out a long sigh. "Alright, well, we'll get your name cleared at the station, and if anything pops up from this, I'll let you know. I would have assumed his Aunt Margaret was going to strike back, but seeing that she's the one who put the poor kid up to burning down her bakery... I don't know. She might tuck tail and run."

  "I have no idea how I got wrapped up in all of this. I've been so kind to Margaret and her family. Heck, I even went over to their bakery when I first got into town to see what I shouldn't offer in my own. I didn't want to be in competition with them. I was looking for a new life here. One that would be different from the back-stabbing mentality of New York."

  "I understand. Small towns aren't much better than big cities, though. They have the same thing in common, you know?"

  "What's that?" Sicily ran her fingers through her hair before working it into a messy bun.

  "Greedy people with little to no conscience." He chuckled and tucked his pad back into his back pocket. "Alright. If you're good, I'm going to go. Nothing else to tell me, right?"

  "We're good. I've said all I'm saying." She shrugged and walked him to the door.

  He nodded and gave her a knowing smirk, but didn't say another word.

  Shutting the door, Sicily let the first wave of her internal trauma release. A soft sob left her as tears blurred her vision.

  Drake was right. She had judged him before he could ever get the chance to judge her. Was it a defense mechanism or was she really no better than everyone else who judged the people around them? The look on his face told her that it wasn't going to be easy to get back into his good graces. Did she want to?

  "Yes," s+he whispered and walked to the counter, picking up a towel and wiping her eyes. She sneezed several times as white powder flew up around her. The rag had powdered sugar on it, which left her sneezing several more times.

  The humor in the moment wasn't lost on her as she laughed through her tears. How had her life gotten so fucked up all of a sudden?

  "I don't know, but I need to get him back." She brushed the back of her hand across her face and pulled out her phone, staring at the last text he sent.

  If there were something she could say to help him understand why she'd blown up so quickly. It was fear and high emotion. Right?

  No. After talking with her brother, Johnny, earlier in the week she had started to question Drake. It was like living on a nonstop roller coaster for the last few weeks. One minute she was willing to forgive his past, even though she didn't truly understand what he'd done or who he'd been. The next she was ready to run for the hills.

  Her phone rang and she yelped, jumping as Kari's number popped up.

  "Hey," Sicily mumbled into the phone.

  "Are you okay? We're headed up there right now." Kari's tone was sharp and filled with fear.

  "I'm okay. The cops just left." Sicily moved to the front door and glanced out, wishing like hell Drake's bike was still out front. "How did you know what happened?"

  "Drake called Jake and said for us to get up here to support you."

  "Of course he did." Tears filled her eyes again. How many times had he helped her in the last few weeks? Innumerable. She had stabbed him deeply and he was still helping. She didn't deserve a man like him. He was working to overcome his demons and she was kicking him back down the side of the mountain he was working to scale on his own.

  "Did he hurt you?" Jake's voice surprised her.

  "What? No. He was protecting me, but I told the cops it was me who whooped Martin's ass. I'll explain when you get here. Drake has been nothing but good to me. I wish I could say the same for myself." She let out a sigh and hung up.

  She needed to call him. A simple apology spoken in honesty and love would start them on the path to healing. Before she could back out of calling, she hit the button and bit into her bottom lip. The call went directly to his voicemail, which was full – of course.

  She called again twice more and got nothing. Nothing could be easy... nothing.

  ***

  Kari and Jake showed up a few minutes later and helped fix up the bakery before splitting up for the ride home. Jake drove his truck and Kari took the keys to Sicily's car to drive her back to the house.

  Sicily's stomach growled loudly as she buckled up and leaned back in her seat.

  "You hungry, hun?" Kari reached out and squeezed Sicily's hand.

  "I guess." She glanced at the clock, realizing that it was early afternoon. "I didn't eat breakfast and with all the drama, lunch passed me right by too."

  "We were going to make sub sandwiches."

  "You and Jake?" Sicily turned to watch her pretty friend.

  "No. He was at work. He came by the house to grab me after Drake called him. Lisa and I were making sandwiches. She had a fit to come get you, but we figured too many people might make you a little crazy. Jake wouldn't take no for an answer on coming, so it was me and him." She shrugged and pulled her hand back into her own lap.

  "A sandwich sounds good." Sadness filled up the entire space of her chest and she pressed her hands to her face to keep from crying. "I'm so angry at myself."

  "Why? This isn't your fault. That fucking kid set you up, Sis."

  "No. Martin is water under the bridge. I'll figure that out later. I totally judged Drake and slung a bunch of harsh accusations at him before he walked out of the bakery today. I hate myself right now. The one thing I never want done to me, and I just did it to the guy I'm falling in love with."

  "You're falling in love with him?" Kari turned and stared at me.

  "Yeah. Not that it matters now."

  "Of course it does. You just need to call him, and explain what happened, Sicily. What went down today is a big deal. No one would have handled it well."

  "You should have seen the look on his face when I attacked him." She let out a painful sigh. "I should have just taken an axe and chopped him in half. It wouldn't have hurt him as much."

  "It's going to be okay. He's falling in love with you, too, you know."

  "Yeah, was falling. I'm not so sure he's willing to give me a second chance." Sicily shrugged and unbuckled as they pulled up to the house. "Thanks for coming after me."

  "Anytime." Kari reached out and rubbed Sicily's shoulder. "We're going to figure this out, okay? You're not alone in all of this."

  "Thanks," Sicily mumbled and got out of the car as the cold wind of early winter picked up. She shivered and walked to the door as Kari leaned against the car, obviously waiting on Jake.

  Kari has a great relationship. Lisa has an incredible thing with Marc, and I have nothing. Whatever was starting to form with Drake is blown to hell and back.

  Sicily opened the door and didn't make it more than a step inside before Lisa was wrapping her in a tight hug.

  "Oh, my God. I was scared to fucking death. What the fuck happened?" Lisa squeezed harder and Sicily relaxed into her best friend’s hold, letting a soft sob go. "Oh, Sis. Come on. Let's go get you into something comfy and you can tell me all about it."

  Sicily pulled back and sniffled. "Okay."

  "Kari and Jake are back, too?"

  "Yeah. Kari's waiting out front for Jake." She shrugged and walked down the hall in front of Lisa.

  "Jake gave me a shortened version of what happened, but I want to hear it firsthand, if you're up to it."

  Sicily walked into her room and tugged off her clothes and kicked off her shoes before walking to the dresser. She pulled out an old T-shirt and some sweats.

  "I was set up by Margaret to make it look like I set Judy's on fire. She had Martin come work for me, take my sweater and leave it in their shop, and then start the damn fire." Sicily turned and walked to the bed, dropping down and scooting up to lay down beside Lisa
.

  "Insane. I thought my life was crazy having to contend with Michael Carrington and Marc, but yours is much worse. So Drake showed up and kicked the boy’s ass because of all of that?"

  "That, and really because Martin was physically holding me still. He was interested in something with me and I guess he thought with enough fear and force I would simply succumb to his advances." Sicily reached over and brushed Lisa's copper hair off her shoulder.

  "He's like seventeen. You're twenty-three. That's... gross."

  "Yes, I know that. I never gave him any inclination that I was interested, but he got it in his head that he and I were on our way to becoming something special. Drake had come by to check on me, but it was piss poor timing on Martin's part."

  "How was the ass whooping? I bet Drake put a hurting on that creep."

  "It was scary, actually. Drake has some dark stuff in his past. He's not really shared any of that with me, but I threw it in his face after seeing the monster he turned into with Martin." Sicily turned onto her back. "It was honestly more frightening watching Drake go nuts than dealing with anything else I've dealt with lately."

  "Did you think he would hurt you?"

  "No. Never." Sicily let out a sigh and glanced over at Lisa. "I thought he was going to kill Martin though. He had that look in his eye that said he wasn't going to stop beating the kid until he did permanent damage."

  "What's in his past that you're worried about?"

  "I don't really know. I just know he was involved in some gang-type stuff. I was going with him this weekend to Chicago and we were going to talk about it. In order to move into a real relationship together, he thinks I need to completely understand what I'm getting myself into."

  "I like that." Lisa scooted closer and snuggled into Sicily's side.

  "I did too, but it's irrelevant now."

  "How so?"

  "He left the shop after I attacked him, and his parting words were basically, 'good luck with life'."

  "He was hurt, Sis. That's probably better than what we could have said."

  "True, but he's not answering his phone."