Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  "Of course." She yawned and closed her eyes. "I love these things, though I haven't had one in forever."

  "Too busy?" I studied her pretty face. She looked a lot like Jason, but far more feminine. It left me wondering what her mother looked like.

  Her eyes opened slowly. "No. I just went through a nasty divorce. Married the wrong man and he stole everything I had, including my heart."

  "Oh. Shit. I'm so sorry." I felt like crap for asking. It was time to backtrack, but it felt trivial to do it with her. We would be family one day. I needed to start treating her like it then.

  "Don't be. Jason warned me against marrying Bill. I just felt alive when I was around him." She let out a soft sigh. "When Mom died I'd just graduated high school. I changed everything about me so I could try and not think of her."

  Her reasoning didn't make much sense to me, but I'd lost a parent. I knew the depth of pain associated with going through that type of trauma. Nothing made sense for a while and any relief, no matter where it came from, was much needed.

  "I get that." I nodded and smiled as she opened her eyes again.

  "You do?"

  "Yeah. I lost my dad when I was younger. I don't remember much about it, but it changed everything. Instead of being independent and trusting that I would find my way on my own, I clung to my best friend and turned him into something he wasn't." The truth rang in my ears and my eyes filled with tears. "I wanted him to love me so fucking bad. I tried everything, but he didn't."

  "Ever?" she whispered softly.

  "No." I reached up and wiped at my tears as I let out a sardonic laugh. "I wasted a lot of time waiting for him to come back to Texas and realize what he left behind."

  "Where is he now?" Her expression was filled with acceptance, though it seemed weird that it would be. Here I was crying over Kade and dating her brother.

  "He's back in Houston, I guess. He showed up about the time your brother decided to convince me that we belonged together." I smiled and took the towel the massage therapist handed me. "Thank you." I cleaned up my face and gave Natalie an apologetic smile. "I'm so grateful for Jason. He changed everything for me. Who knows where I would be without him."

  "Amen to that." She smiled. "He's the best brother a girl could have."

  "I bet. He seems like one of the last real good guys left." I turned onto my back as the therapist urged me to. "I'm scared that I'm too old for him though, you know? He deserves a young wife to experience life with."

  She snorted. "No way. He's always been into older women. He doesn't need a young anything. He needs to be loved fiercely and taken care of. He works too hard taking care of everyone else. He always has."

  I realized how badly I wanted to be that woman. The one he turned to in times of trouble or concern. I wanted to be the safe place he landed every time anything came up.

  "I love him so much," I whispered and closed my eyes as emotion choked me and sent another wave of tears rolling down my cheeks. "I don't cry often. I have no clue what's wrong with me."

  "I like it. Shows that you're human."

  "Did you think I wasn't?" I turned my head toward her and wiped at my eyes again.

  She laughed and turned to look at me. "You're impossibly beautiful, smart, wealthy, you own an accounting firm for shit’s sake. You're a little much."

  I chuckled. "Well, thank you? I think?"

  "You're welcome." She let out a soft sigh and closed her eyes again. "I'd be happy to have you as my sister."

  I studied her for a second before responding. "Same."

  ***

  Jason wasn't in the room when I got back, but a dozen roses sat on the table near the hot tub. I paused, not too sure what to think about them. The last time I'd gotten roses, they were from Kade. Jason was quick to remind me that he wasn't a 'flower type of guy’, and I totally understood. Funny enough, he’d brought me roses once before. Maybe change was in the air?

  "So, are these from you, handsome?" I walked slowly toward them as trepidation sat in my stomach. I was being silly. They were most likely from Jason.

  I plucked the card from the flowers and tore it open. The message was simple, but stole my heart.

  For the woman who's captivated me in ways I didn't think possible. Be mine, Becca. Forever?

  The door opened behind me, as if the man had perfect timing.

  I turned and smiled. "You're so sweet. You didn't have to do this."

  "I know." He closed the door and walked toward me. "I wanted to."

  "I thought you weren't a flower guy." I slid my hands up his chest and pressed myself against him.

  "I'm willing to change a little if it pleases my lady." He leaned down and kissed me softly before going in for another, longer kiss.

  I melted against him as exhaustion tugged at me. The softness of his lips against mine was more than enough to have me feeling lightheaded.

  "You want to lie down?" I pulled back to get a read on him.

  His smile turned cocky. "Is that code for something?"

  "Yeah. Usually it means sleep. Did you learn something different growing up?"

  He laughed and reached up to brush my hair back. "You little tart. I love it."

  "Good. Now, get naked and let's take a long nap."

  "You sure?" He moved back and pulled his shirt over his head. "I haven't stopped thinking about last night since I woke up this morning."

  "You're insatiable." I unbuttoned my shirt and walked toward the bed, trying hard not to think about how damn good he looked with his shirt off.

  "Only because of you." He wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me toward the bed.

  I crawled up on it and worked on my bra before dropping down and slipping my wind-pants over my hips. "That so?"

  "Yeah. It sure is." He crawled up on the bed in nothing but his underwear. His thick legs were tanned and beautiful.

  I reached down to run my hand over his thigh as he settled down in the mound of pillows at the top of the bed.

  "I had fun today." I moved over and laid my head on his chest before curling up beside him.

  "Me too. Was the massage okay?"

  "Sure was." I ran my hand down his stomach, playing with the swell of muscle that made up his six-pack. "I like your sister a lot."

  "Good. I think she likes you too." He captured my hand and pulled it up to his lips, kissing at each finger, one at a time.

  "How can you tell?" I lifted my chin so I could see him a little better.

  The sexy look on his face melted my insides.

  "She wouldn't have invited you to the massage thing if not." He pulled at my hand, forcing me to move onto his chest a little farther. I wrapped myself around him and pressed my lips against the side of his neck.

  "The note on your card asked me to be yours forever." I ran my nose down his jaw. "You're supposed to ask that question with a little black box in your pocket."

  His eyes widened a little. "And what would your response be, Becca?"

  I smiled and moved on top of him, wrapping him in a tight hug as his strong hands ran down my slick back. The massage oils were still all over me, and it felt good, right to have him touch me.

  "I think you know my response." I moved up to hover above him, studying his handsome face. "You've been so good to me. Working through all that shit with Kade and the house."

  "It's easy. I love you." He reached up and brushed my hair back. "And I have for a long-ass time."

  "I'm grateful for that." I leaned down and pressed my lips to his lightly before sliding my tongue along his and moaning softly.

  He took full advantage of my position and trapped me against his strong body. "Good. Maybe that little black box will be yours before you know it."

  "I'd be good with that." I went in for another kiss. And another.

  My fear was slowly dissipating behind the weight of the truth.

  Jason wasn't Kade. He wasn't going to walk away from us and never look back again. I could trust him and hand over my whole heart
.

  Funny enough, it felt like the choice was completely out of my hands anyway.

  I'd already done it over the last nine months.

  Chapter 16

  Jason

  I woke up wrapped around Rebecca around five in the morning and realized we'd completely missed out on the rest of the day. Pulling from her, I moved over to pick up my phone. There were multiple messages from my sister and Adam. Worry raced through me as I scanned them and realized everyone was just looking for us to join them.

  A chuckle bubbled up inside of me at the picture Adam sent over of Parker singing at karaoke night in the bar. He had a strand of red Christmas tinsel around his neck, and he was giving it his all.

  "Baby?" Rebecca's voice was thick with sleep.

  "Yeah. I'm here." I set the phone down and moved back over to her before turning on the TV. "I guess we slept right through the night."

  She stiffened before glancing up toward me. "Seriously? It's Wednesday already?"

  "Yep. Guess we did a little too much yesterday. Sad, right?" I ran my hand down her hair and over her back.

  She tugged at the covers and yawned. "That's what you get for being in an office all the time and not moving much. We should join a gym."

  "Or start jogging in the mornings out at your place. The lake is beautiful, but there's a lot of country out there to see." I leaned down and kissed her forehead as she snuggled against me. Nothing could have been more perfect.

  "That means you're going to have to be there every morning. Routine is important."

  I smiled. "You asking me to move in with you, beautiful?"

  "And if I was? What would your answer be?" Her chin lifted and she gave me an inquisitive look.

  The little tart already knew my answer, but I could play her games.

  "Only if I get to ravage this hot body a few times a week." I moved down and pulled her flush against me.

  "Couple of times a week? I was hoping for daily." She laughed as I rolled us and pinned her beneath me.

  "I love you so much. You know that?" I leaned down and pressed my face to the side of her neck, breathing her in deeply.

  "Yes, and I'm grateful." She ran her feet down the sides of my legs and pulled me in for a long kiss. Waking up early was perfect. A slow roll in the sheets and we were back to sleep.

  ***

  "So, wait. I missed you singing Pat Benatar last night?" Rebecca snorted then laughed at Parker, who looked like hammered shit. "I'm really upset about this."

  "No worries." Adam lifted his head and poked at something on his plate. "I got a video of the entire thing. We're good to go. Blackmail for the rest of old Parker's life."

  "You're not going to want to miss out on getting your hands on that thing." Natalie tilted her head and smiled. The gesture reached her eyes, and my heart warmed. She was having fun. She needed to. Life hadn't been too kind to her since Mom died.

  "Excellent. He's pretty incorrigible, so it's hard to get anything on him." Becca laughed and picked up her orange juice. "You're not going to join in, Park?"

  "Aww... my fucking head feels like it's going to split open any minute. I'm not the young buck I was once. This drinking thing is for the birds." He ran his fingers through his unruly mop of blond hair.

  "What are everyone's plans today?" I glanced around the table at my friends, knowing that my top priority was to visit the jewelry shop. I'd have to take Nat with me. She'd never forgive me if I didn't.

  "Skiing." Adam lifted his coffee cup. "You want to come with me?"

  "Yeah, later. I was going to ask Nat to come spend some time with me." I glanced over at Rebecca before reaching out and grabbing her hand. The look of love in her eyes when she turned her face my way left my heart racing. She was breaking down where I was concerned. Whatever fear she had before we came on the trip was finally starting to dissipate. I could only hope that it would continue to heal her from Kade. It had to be him. Or maybe losing her father.

  "I'm free this morning, but I want to get in a few runs on the slopes before the Christmas program thing tonight." My sister picked up a piece of bacon and nibbled on the end of it.

  "You're going to that thing?" Parker's attention was on Natalie.

  "Absolutely. Those kids worked hard on the program. I had to do those dumb things when I was little. I remember." She smirked and folded up the bacon, shoving the rest in her mouth.

  "Here. Here." Adam lifted his coffee again, and we all laughed. It was obvious that someone was spending a little too much time at the bar.

  "And you guys?" I looked over at Becca and Parker.

  "Sleep. I'm going back to bed." Parker yawned loudly as if on cue.

  Becca chuckled. "I'm going to go with Adam and learn how to ski a little better, if he'll take me with him."

  "Or you could come with us?" Nat offered my girl an out. So cute, but I needed time alone to get the ring. I held my tongue. I'd just leave the girls to themselves if need be. It would all work out somehow.

  "No. I'd love the company," Adam responded. "You ever been on a snowboard?"

  "No, but I've always wanted to try." Rebecca's expression was filled with excitement and challenge.

  "Awesome." Adam glanced my way. "I'll take care of her. I promise, buddy."

  "You better. She's my future." I finished my orange juice and moved off the stool I sat on. "You ready, Natalie?"

  "Do you have something planned, or-" She got off her stool and gave me a look I'd seen far too many times over my life.

  "Sure do." I moved toward Rebecca, wrapping my arms around her and kissing the side of her face before moving down to burrow against the side of her neck. "See you in a little while?"

  "Yes." She shifted and kissed me softly. "I want to go to that event tonight. Seriously. I love watching stuff like that."

  "Then we'll go." I studied her for a second, enjoying the view immensely.

  "Really? You guys are so sappy it hurts," Parker barked out.

  "Jealous. He's just jealous." Becca smoothed down the front of my t-shirt and pulled me in for one more quick kiss.

  "As he should be." I moved back, gave Parker a cheeky grin and turned to join my sister out in the foyer. The bill would be charged to the room, or Parker would pick it up. Nothing to worry myself with.

  "So, what's this all about?" Nat moved up beside me and slipped her arm into mine. "We getting a ring?"

  "Is it that obvious?" I chuckled and steered us toward the back of the hotel.

  "Oh yeah. I figured this was coming. I'm just surprised that you didn't have one already. This place is going to be astronomically expensive."

  "Think we should ride into town?"

  "It's freezing outside. No. Just spend the money and pray the girl says yes."

  "She will." I released my sister and turned the corner to find the jewelry store. "I want something beautiful and dainty. Like Rebecca."

  Natalie laughed. "You think Rebecca is dainty? I would say beautiful and bold. She's intimidating."

  "I know. I love it," I mumbled under my breath and moved into the store as an older gentleman moved up in front of me.

  "Morning, sir. Looking for something in particular?" He gave me a kind smile as I slipped my hands into my jeans and let my eyes continue to move around the sparkly objects trapped in the glass case below us.

  "A ring. For my girlfriend. I'm going to propose while we're on the trip." I turned my attention up to him.

  "And are you looking for something small, large, sparkly, flat?" He knelt and pulled out a handful of keys. "What's your budget?"

  "I don't have one." I leaned forward and pointed to a ring in the corner of the case that reminded me of Rebecca.

  "I like that." My sister pressed her hands to the countertop. "That looks like her to me."

  "Did you by chance get her ring size?" The salesman glanced up and smiled.

  "No. Shit." I looked down at Natalie. "How am I going to do that?"

  "I'll figure it out for you today." She turn
ed back to the attendant. "Do you have most of your rings in all sizes?"

  "We sure do. We can size it, but that will take a little bit of time. If you want to just guess the size that would work well too. You can propose with that ring and then bring her and the ring back thereafter and we'll size it for her."

  He handed me the ring, and I knew without a doubt that it was the one. It looked like my Rebecca. So beautiful and exquisite. Not too much, and yet it twinkled as I turned it around in my fingers.

  "I love it." I glanced up at him and then down to my sister. "You?"

  She nodded, tears in her eyes. "Mom would have loved it too."

  I smiled. "Then we're getting it. Let's go with a size seven to be safe."

  "Excellent. Let me wrap it up for you."

  He turned and I pulled Natalie into a warm hug. She was right. Mom would have been proud.

  Chapter 17

  Rebecca

  "You really don't look like you feel good. Go back to the room and lie down." I got up and moved over toward Parker as Jason and Natalie disappeared around the corner.

  He laid his head on my shoulder and groaned. "We need to start hanging out with people our own age."

  "No way," Adam responded and slid off the barstool. "I'm going to go get our snowboards checked out. I'll meet you by the back in a few minutes? Make sure you grab your coat, gloves and face mask." He moved around us and patted Parker on his shoulder. "And get this guy to join us if you can. The cold air will shock him alive."

  I smiled. "Sounds great. See you in the back in about ten minutes."

  "I'll be there." Adam walked off, and I turned my attention back to Parker.

  "You know you hate how you feel when you drink. Why do you keep doing it?"

  "Numbs the pain." He glanced up at me with a sad face that quickly morphed into a smile.

  "You're the most pathetic person at being depressed. Did you know that?" I brushed his hair back and pressed my cheek to his forehead. He was like a brother to me, and I only wanted him to be happy. It didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon, but one could hope.