Can't Hate You (Second Chance Diaries Book 1)

by Emma Vikes

  I was naked beneath him, wet and aching to feel him inside of me.

  Ryan lowered himself and spread my legs apart, his tongue licking between my folds.

  My eyes rolled back, heat blossoming from my core to my stomach, spreading up to my toes. It had been so long since I’d felt this kind of pleasure.

  Ryan’s mouth was sucking my clit as he inserted two fingers inside of me, making me squirm. I was clawing at his bare shoulders, my fingers winding up in his hair as he rammed my pussy with his adept fingers.

  Gosh, he was so good, too good.

  I exploded in a matter of seconds and when Ryan kissed me, I could taste my cum on his lips. Switching our positions, I struggled to unbuckle his jeans.

  He helped me out and removed his boxers along the way, his cock standing at attention.

  I swallowed, staring at his size. “I haven’t...” I whispered, reaching to touch him.

  Ryan flinched when my hand came in contact with his cock and he let out a low hiss. Growling, he pushed me back down. “Let’s skip that part. I want you so badly that it hurts right now.” He grabbed his jeans to get his wallet, taking a condom from it.

  I watched him in anticipation, my toes curling in excitement. I hadn’t felt this kind of excitement for so long I was momentarily brought back to when I’ been a horny and active teenage girl. Now though, a man stood in front of me, naked and as lust-filled as I was.

  “Bend over,” Ryan commanded and I heeded his instruction. He grabbed my ass and then repositioned me and I could feel his hard cock poking my bare butt. I closed my eyes, biting my lip as the slightest touch of the head of his cock on my skin sent a wave of pleasure through me. It made me shiver in delight and anticipation.

  “I won’t go easy on you,” Ryan murmured, his hand gripping my ass.

  “I’m not expecting you to,” I answered through gritted teeth. “I just want you now, Ryan.”

  In one swift stroke, Ryan pushed inside of me, taking me from behind.

  I gasped at the sensation, my body adjusting to his size and at how long it had been. It hurt briefly, but as Ryan began moving, waves of pleasure uncoiled inside of me. I was gripping the back of the couch tightly, my nails digging on the leather that I knew it would leave a mark. I moaned loudly and let out a sharp gasp when Ryan pulled my hair, making me bend my head upward. “Oh god, Ryan!”

  He became relentless in his thrusts, harried, rough and urgent as if he needed to quench his ache as desperately as I did. In my haste and desperation, I came a little too soon but Ryan didn’t seem to care. He let me ride out my climax before he pulled himself out of me and switched positions.

  Ryan sat on the couch, as I straddled him and he guided his dick into my pussy. I moaned at the sensation, pleasure blooming in my stomach all over again. Burying my face into his shoulder, Ryan hastened our pace when he met my thrusts, gripping my waist as he helped.

  It wasn’t long until I came again and he followed right after me. His lips met mine, stifling my scream. I was panting on top of him after my climax and he didn’t pull himself out just yet. We remained this way, my face buried in his shoulder, his arms wrapped around me.

  Both of us knew what just happened.

  Both of us were aware of the line we had just crossed.

  And neither of us could care less at the moment.

  14

  Kate

  The time when Ryan and I called a truce, this tiny part of me knew that the truce would unravel one day. Part of me knew Ryan and I were two people not meant to get along, no matter what happened. But as the days went on and I’d learned to see beyond the things that irked me, I thought maybe things could go well between us.

  Until that night when he came to my doorstep, refusing to come inside the house for fear that he wouldn’t be able to restrain himself. He’d been so blatant and direct with how he wanted me. Granted, he left the decision in my hands but made sure it was clear to me… he was willing to cross the line as long as I permitted him.

  I did and then the next day, I woke up alone in my bed, with no traces of Ryan Bell.

  For a moment, a part of me thought I’d just dreamt the whole thing and it didn’t happen. But my body told me otherwise. I was sore all over, my lips looked swollen, and there were hickeys in places where they shouldn’t be. The fact that I was naked also gave it away.

  What happened was clear. Ryan wanted me ‒ as he had blatantly put it ‒ and I let him have me. But just as he’d always treated girls, right after he was done with me—he left. He didn’t stay in the morning or wait for me to wake up, nor did he leave a note with an explanation.

  Ryan treated me like he would every girl he’d slept with and it made me feel cheap.

  Hence, why I went back to hating him.

  Vanessa was sprawled in my living room while I was busy mooning over what happened between Ryan and I a week ago.

  “You’re nearing five million subscribers,” she said. “What do you want to do when you hit it? Merch giveaways? A song parody?”

  I gave no answer.

  “Hello? Kate! Oh come on, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours? You’ve been distracted since you had your last date with that lawyer.”

  Vanessa wasn’t aware of how bad that date turned out to be because I wasn’t keen on giving her all the details. “Don’t even think of setting me up with him again. He was awful.”

  My best friend made a face at this revelation and sat up straighter, looking at me with confusion in her eyes. “So was it that bad that even a week later, you’re still traumatized over it?”

  I was traumatized by something else entirely but Vanessa didn’t need to know about it. No not this. I was so not ready to tell anyone about this disaster. The last thing I needed was for her to know something happened between Ryan and me. If Vanessa knew, there was a possibility she might slip and end up telling Mila, and then it would reach Andrew.

  My brother should be the last person to know his best friend and little sister had fun under the covers. He may love Ryan as a brother but he was way too overprotective of me. Andrew might forget that Ryan had been his best friend for years and end up bashing Ryan’s face. As much as I hated Ryan at the moment, I didn’t need tension between him and my brother.

  “You could put it like that. He was adamant that I demand child support and was stunned that I had a daughter.” I shrugged and grimaced as I repeated it to Vanessa.

  She scowled immediately. When my whole family seemed to have turned their backs on me after knowing I was pregnant, Vanessa was the one who wholly supported me. “Well shit,” Vanessa muttered under her breath. She glanced to where Faith was, perched on the wooden bench of our dining table and painting. Andrew and Mila got her painting and craft supplies from their honeymoon and she had been over the moon for them. “You’re right. Nothing’s more traumatizing than a guy giving his two cents on something he has no idea about.”

  A moment of silence fell between Vanessa and me again. I was busy editing a video to put up on Tuesday.

  Vanessa broke the quiet, “I know the first two dates you’ve had didn’t end well…”

  I turned to her and raised my eyebrows, knowing she wanted to say more. “Did you and Mila set me up with another one?”

  “With the last one. The deal was three blind dates, wasn’t it?” Vanessa looked hopeful when she said it. She probably thought I wouldn’t go for it, given how the two had failed. “It’s the last one, Katie. Didn’t they say that the third time’s the charm?”

  I thought about it for a minute, acknowledging the fact that maybe a date was all I needed to get my mind off of things. “What about Faith?”

  Vanessa rolled her eyes. “You act like I can’t take care of your daughter for a couple of hours while you go on a date. It’s not as if I haven’t done it with one of the dates you’ve had.”

  Taking a deep breath, I looked at her and gave her a firm nod. A date was what I truly needed to get my mind off of Ryan and everything th
at happened between us. My car was at the mechanic for a tune-up, so while I got ready, Vanessa picked up Faith. They then dropped me off at the restaurant where the date would be.

  The Pepper Place restaurant downtown was known for its pepper doused king crab. Most of their food was like that anyway, hence the name. It had always been a pretty decent restaurant though and Andrew loved it, so we ate there from time to time. Vanessa had mentioned earlier that my date was already there and gave me his name.

  “Is there a reservation under Elliot Burks?” I asked.

  The receptionist looked at her list and nodded then pointed me to a table.

  Eliot was already seated. With black hair and slightly tan skin, he turned his head and spotted me, a kind smile spreading on his lips as he stood up. He towered over me when I stopped in front of him. A tall man and burly, with a very warm smile and kind brown eyes. “Hello,” he greeted politely, his voice as smooth as honey, “I’m Elliot.”

  I shook his hand that he offered me and I couldn’t help but smile back. Even with the short exchange of pleasantries, something about him just felt light. “I’m Kate. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “The pleasure’s mine. This is my first time going on a date like this and it’s a pleasing surprise to have it with someone as lovely as you.” He looked a little shy when he said it with a small smile on his face, making his chin dimple appear. “You’re Andrew’s little sister, aren’t you?”

  My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You weren’t aware of that?”

  The last two guys I’d dated seemed to be aware of my family background. Peter worked with Andrew, so he knew I was Andrew’s sister. Connor knew Mila and didn’t ask about my family background. Well, technically, the only background that Connor seemed to have been interested in was my career.

  Elliot smiled shyly again and shook his head. “No. Not really. Vanessa didn’t mention anything about you other than your name. I looked you up on Facebook earlier and noticed pictures you had with Andrew and with the same last name, it’s kind of obvious.”

  So he’s a friend of Vanessa. Interesting. “And you know my brother how?”

  “I’ve seen him on campus in medical school.”

  “So, you’re a doctor?” Oh, great… another one.

  He shook his head again. “No. I didn’t have the patience and brains to be one. I’ve barely been in medical school until I finally took a stand against my parents and pursued the arts.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at this, as it was close to what I had done. The waiter took our order and when he left, I leaned closer to Elliot. Of the three dates I’d been on, he seemed to be the one who piqued my interest effortlessly. “So what do you mean you’ve pursued the arts?”

  “I’m an art curator in New York. I’m only here in Florida for a short while, sighting seeing, and meeting with art collectors around the state.” An air of confidence floated around him when he explained his job. It was nice, to see someone deeply passionate about what they did. “Vanessa and I went to the same university and were in a minor class together. She’s pretty cool, so we remained friends. She saw on Facebook that I was in the state and asked if Tampa was a part of my itinerary.”

  When our food arrived, Elliot and I continued with our conversation. He held up good on his end with all the topics we’d discussed. At some point, he brought up the fact that he was aware that I had Faith. “Vanessa mentioned it to me. Kind of an area she told me she wanted to put out there.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. It had been a good thing Vanessa mentioned it though. I didn’t want another Connor-like mishap. Talking about Faith the way I did with Connor, made me feel uncomfortable. “Faith’s six years old and she’s a total darling.”

  “I hope I get to meet her someday,” Elliot said, looking like a mix between hopeful and shy all at the same time. “Not to brag but they say I’m good with kids. I used to babysit when I was in high school. My sister’s children also love me.”

  As great as this sounded, my heart sank a little bit. I was reminded of the bond Ryan and Faith had and how my daughter loved having him around. She’d been asking about him all week and I only gave her the excuse that he was busy. And I was sure he was since he’d moved into the house we’d checked out last week.

  And I wanted to believe he was busy with moving which was why he couldn’t give me a call or text. But I think I just didn’t want to face the fact that he was simply being an ass.

  For the rest of the dinner, Elliot and I got along surprisingly well. There weren’t any topics that put me on the edge. He offered to pay for the dinner and I told him I’d treat him with coffee. He seemed surprised by my offer and even I was too. Normally, I would be itching to head home and spend the rest of the night with Faith.

  But Elliot was a pleasant surprise and he was the only one I seemed to be comfortable with. He wasn’t as cocky as Connor, nor was he as weird as Peter. Elliot seemed like a pretty decent guy and the only issue with him was that he lived in New York. If he were to ask me out again, I would seriously consider a second date with him.

  “Do you have a car?” Elliot asked as we walked out of the coffee shop, only a couple of blocks from The Pepper Place and we’d walked it. He’d left his rental car parked at the restaurant though, so we were coming back for it.

  I shook my head. “Vanessa dropped me off. I could catch a cab.”

  “Oh, no.” Elliot smiled brightly at me and then pointed to a white Range Rover. “I’ll drive you home. Besides, it’ll extend this date even more.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle at this comment.

  He opened the door for me, like a gentleman.

  The gesture reminded me of Ryan though and I couldn’t help but recount the date in my head. Conversations with Elliot flowed easily, like how it did with Ryan, but it seemed lacking. It didn’t have the Ryan-induced humor and charm, the effortless charisma.

  I need to stop comparing people I dated with him.

  “Just stop at the house with the pink floral mailbox,” I said with an embarrassed smile. “It’s a summer project my daughter did once.”

  Vanessa’s car was parked in my driveway.

  Elliot parked right in front of the house and then rushed to get out of his side to open mine.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Chivalry isn’t dead,” Elliot said with a wink.

  I felt like a giddy teenager when he did that. It felt nice, to be flirted with and treated in such a way.

  He walked me to the front door, hands stuffed in his pockets. “So…”

  I looked at him. Under the bright light of my front porch, his brown eyes looked even kinder. Biting his lower lip, he was back to his shy self.

  “So?” I asked with a smile.

  “I had a really good time, Kate,” Elliot said, his voice soft and gentle his eyes sparkling under the fluorescent lights.

  “Me too, to be honest,” I responded with a light shrug. “I was hesitant to agree on Vanessa setting me up but so far, you’re the most decent.”

  He laughed. I had mentioned to him earlier that I agreed to Vanessa and my sister-in-law setting me up for three blind dates and he was the last one. “Well, I’m glad I was the lucky third.” Elliot took a step towards me gingerly and there was this momentary lapse of silence as he leaned close.

  I could smell his fresh aroma, so different from Ryan’s musky scent. My breath hitched, aware of Elliot’s proximity and how quickly everything seemed to accelerate.

  Then just as quickly as everything seemed to pick up with Elliot and me, he suddenly disappeared from in front of me.

  “What the hell?” Eliot exclaimed.

  When I looked up, I was met by a seething Ryan shoving Elliot to the side. His hands were balled into fists as he had this animalistic glint in his eyes.

  “Ryan!”

  “Dude, what the hell?” Elliot said, glaring at him.

  Ryan remained motionless in front of Elliot but didn’t seem inclined to attack
him again. “Date’s over, dude. I think it’s best if you leave.”

  I gaped at him as my mouth popped open.

  Elliot scoffed and turned to look at me. Gone was the kind glint in his eyes and annoyance took its place. “Who is he?”

  “Someone who’ll beat your ass if you stay here a minute longer,” Ryan growled, taking a step towards Elliot.

  I stepped between them, placing a hand on Ryan’s chest and restraining him. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I hissed, glaring at him.

  But Ryan remained motionless, his jaw clenched and his eyes sharply fixed on Elliot.

  It was impossible to get an answer out of him or even have him apologize to my date. Inwardly groaning and mentally sighing, I turned to Elliot apologetically. “I’m really sorry about this, Elliot. I think it’ll be best if you leave now. I had a wonderful evening and was really glad to have spent it with you.”

  Behind me, Ryan was grumbling under his breath.

  I harshly stepped on his foot to shut him up. “On his behalf, I’m really sorry.”

  Elliot narrowed his eyes at Ryan but turned to me with his warm gaze again. “I hope I hear from you again, Kate. Thank you for tonight.” Still glaring at Ryan, he turned around and headed for his vehicle.

  Ryan and I were left on the porch.

  Ryan took a deep breath and let out a shaky exhale. He ran a fingers through his dark hair, closing his eyes for a minute and squeezing the bridge of his nose. “You were going to let him kiss you?” he accused, turning to look at me, wild jealousy flashing in his green eyes.

  I scoffed, glaring at him. “What’s it to you? Whoever I allow to kiss me is none of your business.”

  Ryan took a step closer and grabbed me by the arm with a little force, making me look at him. “I don’t like it. I don’t like seeing you dating someone else. I don’t like seeing you with anyone else.”

  All I could do was stare at him in confused anger. I pushed him away, wanting to scream profanities at him but I restrained myself. It was the middle of the night and the houses in my neighborhood sat close to each other. “Go home, Ryan. You made it clear to me that I meant nothing to you and all you wanted was to sleep with me.”