by Emma Vikes
Please let me.
Vanessa grabbed the phone from my hand and read Adam’s text. She scoffed and made a move to reply.
I snatched it from her grasp.
“You’re not thinking of letting him, are you?” she asked.
In frustration and exasperation, I laid down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. “As you said, it’s understandable if I don’t want to. He turned his back on us and he can’t just waltz back in as if nothing happened.”
“But?”
“But he is Faith’s father, Nessa,” I said quietly, closing my eyes. “If I were in his position, I would beg the same way. I wouldn’t want to be deprived of the chance to meet my child.”
“He deprived himself of that chance.”
“And it’s morally wrong if I do the same thing.”
“Oh god, when did you have such a moral compass?” Vanessa asked in annoyance, lying down next to me. She let out a long exhale and turned her head to look at me. “Just reply to his text, Katie. If things go south, call me right away. I know where to hide a dead body.”
Vanessa was trying to lighten up the situation for my sake and it did work. I cracked a smile but as I picked up my phone, the weight was back in my chest. As my thumbs deftly typed a response to Adam, I couldn’t help but feel the anxiety coiling in my stomach. I had Vanessa check the message I wrote before sending it to Adam with her approval.
What I planned was to meet Adam at the bistro with Faith. I didn’t want to introduce him to her as her father, not yet. I would introduce him as someone I went to high school with and he simply just wanted to meet her. Faith wouldn’t be suspicious because it had happened a lot of times before. She would simply think he was a friend of mine.
Even as I got her ready after telling her what was going to happen today, Faith didn’t mind. “Is Ryan tagging along too?”
Vanessa was leaning against the doorframe when she asked that question. My best friend whistled lowly. “I think it’s best to inform lover boy of the current predicament.”
Her statement made me pause. Damn, a new dilemma. Should I tell Ryan we were going to meet Adam with Faith or should I not? Even though he made it clear, he liked me and not even my brother’s anger could stop him from seeing me, it didn’t clarify us. It didn’t clarify what we stood in each other’s life. I placed my hand on Faith’s cheek and flashed her a small smile. “You finish getting ready on your own. Auntie Vanessa can help you. I need to change too and no, sweetheart, Ryan’s not coming with us.”
Passing Vanessa, I tapped her gently on the shoulder and gave her a small nod. I had to call Ryan. Of course, I should tell him. He cared about Faith so much and had been there for her.
I called him.
On the third ring, he answered. “Hey, how’s my favorite shortcake?”
The way he answered my call made me smile. “Failed at shooting a video with Nessa. Too much on my mind. Is there any procedure that could tune-up my brain a little?”
“Well, unless you view your brain as a car and me as a mechanic, I think you need more than just tuning up,” Ryan joked, chuckling. “So is there a reason for your call? Is Faith craving something or does she want to go somewhere?”
I took a deep breath to calm myself. “We’re meeting with Adam.”
“Oh,” was all Ryan said.
We were quiet for a while, both unsure of what to say next.
“I have to work on my research anyway. Call me if anything happens, okay?”
I waited for him to hang up but he didn’t. “Okay. Bye.”
“Kate.” He sounded almost breathless when he said my name.
My heart drummed in anticipation of what he wanted to say.
“Tell Faith I love her, okay?”
I wasn’t sure why but it made me sad. It made me sad for Ryan. Since he came into Faith’s life, he was this bright beacon that came into her world, shining at full brightness. He spent time with her and treated her as if she was the queen of his world. Sometimes, he even treated her better than he would treat me.
Even before we happened and even before Faith said anything, Ryan acted like a father to her without even knowing it. Now that Adam was back in the picture, Ryan must be wondering where that left him.
Faith didn’t ask a lot of questions as we drove to the bistro. It was around lunchtime by now and she was thinking more of what she should order.
When we arrived, I immediately spotted Adam.
Although he had aged and tried to look more refined, he still had the same boyish charm as he waved us over. “Hi, Faith,” Adam greeted, the same eyes as Faith’s were fixed on my daughter.
Faith stared at him curiously and then looked back at me. “Is he your friend, Mom?”
The question sounded so innocent.
A small strangled noise came from Adam as he reached for Faith, smiling albeit strained. “I went to high school with your mom. I keep seeing pictures of you on social media and wanted to meet you.”
I wasn’t entirely sure if that was a lie.
Faith slid into the booth, smiling at Adam politely. She made a show of flipping her hair, something Vanessa had taught her. “Oh. That’s all right. It happens every time.”
Adam smiled, amusement dancing in his honey shaded eyes.
I allowed the two of them to interact, watching quietly beside Faith.
Adam let us order and said that it was his treat and Faith could have as much as she wanted. Right after that, he pulled a box from beside him and handed it to her.
My daughter’s eyes were as wide as saucers with what she saw. “Is this a…?”
Adam nodded his head, smiling brightly as he motioned at the box. “Nintendo Switch. I don’t know if you already have one. If you do, I think we can head to the mall and get something else.”
Faith’s eyes were glued on the gadget.
I didn’t buy her something like this because I didn’t want her to be addicted. The majority of kids her age were addicted to screens. Faith, on the other hand, enjoyed the outdoors and playing house. She didn’t rely on gadgets to have fun and it had been good for her too.
Still, it didn’t mean she didn’t want one.
“Mom?” She gazed at me with hopeful eyes.
I would feel bad if I told her to give it back. A Nintendo Switch was what she’d been subtly hinting that she wanted to have, aside from a puppy.
Sighing, I nodded. “We can figure out the schedule of when you get to play.”
Faith cheered and crawled out of the booth, rushing to Adam and hugging him tightly.
I sucked in a huge breath. As in that moment, their resemblance was uncanny. It was as clear as day that she was Adam’s daughter and it wasn’t something I could ever deny.
Adam cautiously wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes, savoring the moment of his daughter’s first hug.
If only he hadn’t turned away from me and her—this wouldn’t have to be the first time.
When we finished eating at the bistro, Adam still wanted to spend time with Faith. He asked if we could go to the park because he had another surprise. We followed him to his vehicle to see a scooter and bicycle in the back of his pickup truck.
“Do you know how to ride a bike, Faith?” Adam asked, grinning at her.
Faith grinned back, even looking slightly smug. “Yes! Without training wheels too! Ryan trained me so well that he says I can be a triathlete if I go jogging with him and swim!”
It was one of their silly little conversations. As artsy as Faith was, she showed interest in sports too.
Adam, on the other hand, didn’t find it amusing. “Ryan…As in Ryan Bell?” He looked at me, eyes almost accusing.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “He’s been around lately and loves spending time with Faith.” I shrugged. It wasn’t like I needed to explain to him why Ryan was a constant fixture in our lives but I stuck with the basics. “He’s Andrew’s best friend. What do you expect?”
Adam pursed h
is lips but didn’t say anything. He looked at Faith and then pointed at the scooter. “What about a scooter? Want me to teach you? Should we ride it in the park?”
Faith looked at the scooter and then nodded her head slightly. “Okay. Can we do that, Mom?”
I brushed her hair to the side and nodded. “As long as you’re up to it.”
Adam wanted us to ride with him but I declined, pointing to my car.
Faith didn’t ask any questions, excited about her new gadget and scooter lessons. I knew she would comment when the day ended.
Adam waited at the park for us in his car, so I parked right next to him. He brought down the bike and scooter and I moved to a bench while he taught Faith.
It reminded me of the time Ryan brought Faith to the park to let her practice even more. Since then, he would make sure the two of them spent some time biking. But with Ryan and Faith, it was easy to look at them because it was clear they both loved being in each other’s presence.
Granted, Faith and Adam just met, but even during the first time when Ryan met Faith, there was this easy connection with them. Faith had always been naturally friendly, something I knew she got from Adam who used to be a social butterfly. But it seemed like Adam was to an extent wherein his desperation showed.
It seemed like he was buying his daughter’s attention when you could get it easily by striking up a random conversation with her.
As Adam taught her how to use the scooter and biked around with her, I was on social media. A part of me wanted to call Ryan or message him but I refrained from doing so. As much as I wanted to use him as a distraction, I didn’t want to prompt him to come here.
At some point, Adam sat beside me. “She’s wonderful.”
“I know. I raised her,” I answered in a clipped voice. I wanted to make it clear to him that I did all of it on my own.
Adam sighed. “I know, Kate. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—I should’ve—we were eighteen.”
“And you had your whole life ahead of you,” I said bitterly, shaking my head. “It’s not like I didn’t either, Adam.”
“But I’m here now, Kate. I’ll make it up to Faith,” he paused and then reached for my hand. His hand felt calloused but still familiar, “and I want to make it up to you. The past seven years made me realize what I turned my back on. Now I wanna do this, with you.”
I scoffed and shook his hand away. I wanted to slap him, scream at him, and throw a god damn tantrum in the middle of the park. But I was a mother and my daughter was playing with the other kids. I didn’t want to humiliate her. “Did you expect that I’d take you back with open arms, Adam? You left, remember? You broke up with me and turned your back on Faith. Telling me you want to do this with us seven years later, doesn’t change anything.”
But Adam seemed determined as he was relentless. “She needs a father, Kate.”
“Well, it took you seven years too late to realize that.” I stood up, ready to call Faith, and call it a day.
Adam grabbed my arm, forcing me to look at him. “She deserves to have a father, Kate. Think about what she needs. This is mostly about Faith and you know that.”
And as angry as I was with Adam, this was about Faith and not me.
23
Ryan
There had been a time in my life when Mila told me that one day, karma would bite me in the ass. She told me that since I kept on breaking girls’ hearts, there would be one girl that would change my perspective. I had told her then that it would never happen. At the time, I was certain there wouldn’t be any girl in the world who could steal my heart.
Now my heart belonged to one and the idea of her spending time with her ex was driving me crazy.
What made things worse for me was that I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. The other day, Kate called me and told me she was going to let Adam meet Faith. I called her that night and asked how it went. She didn’t give me many details but I felt like there was something she didn’t want to tell me.
It made me feel like I was losing my grip on what I had with her.
“Damn it,” I groaned, closing my eyes and leaning back on the sofa. Although I’d tried to use my anxious energy in my research, there would still be enough left to worry. With a sigh, I knew what I was supposed to do.
Even if he didn’t want to see me, I headed to Andrew’s.
The drive there only took ten minutes but I was surprised to see t their car was parked upfront. I noticed they seemed to have suitcases with them.
“Ryan!” Mila rushed to meet me and hugged me tightly. “Oh god, I feel like I haven’t seen you in years!”
I chuckled. “And here I always thought that you’d grown tired of seeing me.”
She rolled her eyes at me and playfully hit me on the shoulder. “You sneaky bastard. How long have you been seeing Kate?”
The mention of Kate brought another spark of worry through me. “I’m not the kiss and tell kind of man, Mila.”
I said it jokingly.
Then as if right on cue, Andrew was within earshot when I said it and he scoffed behind Mila. “Yeah right. As if you didn’t write an entire notebook about your sexual endeavors with girls in high school. You authored a bible for high school teens.”
Mila patted me gently on the shoulder and kissed me on the cheek. “I already told him to play nice if you ever dropped by. Don’t worry. I have a tight leash on him.” She left us alone to talk.
Andrew sighed, opening the trunk of his car and adding another bag inside.
“You two taking a road trip?” I asked.
“Conference in Orlando,” Andrew answered curtly, grunting as he shuffled the suitcases into the back of his car so there would be more room. “What are you doing here, Ryan?”
I let out a shaky breath and then sat on the sidewalk. “You remember how you used to wake me up at two in the morning because you fought with Mila?”
Andrew groaned and slammed the back of his car. “You seriously didn’t come here hoping you’d get advice from me. May I remind you, the person you’re seeing is my little sister? Whatever issues you have with her, I don’t want to know.”
“I know that you know Adam’s back,” I said quietly, pulling my knees close to my chest, ignoring everything Andrew just said. “You think she’ll go back to him?”
I expected Andrew to scoff and ignore me. Instead, he came closer to me to slap me on the back of the head. “If she does so, I’ll disown her as my sister. She’s already tethering at the edge of that cliff, push my buttons even more, why doesn’t she?”
“He’s Faith’s father, Andrew. I don’t think I can compete with that.”
Andrew went quiet and then he sighed. He sat next to me on the sidewalk, eyes fixed on the tire of his car. “Adam is Faith’s father, you can’t compete with that.” He simply repeated what I just said.
I wanted to complain but when I glanced up at him, the look in his eyes told me to shut up.
“My sister hasn’t been seeing anyone for seven years, Ryan. We’ve set her up on dates and at one point, Vanessa set her up with a Tinder account. None of that worked because Kate didn’t want to entertain the thought of dating.”
“I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”
“But she started seeing you,” Andrew finally said, a little too quietly, “and I think that Adam may be Faith’s father but you’re the guy Kate is seeing. You’re the one she wants to be with and not him. If I were you, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”
I could only stare at Andrew.
He didn’t seem to want to look at me though. “This is all weird for me still, Ryan. This isn’t me giving my blessing to what you have with Kate, either. It’s not a competition. You may think that Adam wins by default because of what they shared. You forget that he loses by default too, because he turned his back on them. But don’t be too confident,” Andrew continued, finally turning his head to look at me. “You’re still Ryan Bell. I think that’s what would make my sister p
ause and reconsider.”
“I love her,” I blurted it out in the open as if the three words came out of my mouth without permission.
Andrew stared at me, his gaze cold and steady.
I swallowed, knowing I must've looked hesitant if he stared at me like that. “I love her, Andrew. I’m in love with your little sister. I know it wasn’t supposed to happen but it did.”
Andrew remained quiet beside me after my confession.
I expected him to get up, grab me by the shirt, and then punch me. He could beat me up right there and then and I wouldn’t even ask Mila to stop him from doing so.
Instead of beating me up, Andrew just let out a small ‒ almost humorless ‒ chuckle. “I used to tell you that one day, there would come a girl in your life that would change your perspective,” he told me quietly, “and not once, did I think it would be Kate.”
Neither of us talked after that.
Mila came out again, asking Andrew if they should leave now.
I gave her a hug and Andrew merely gave me a small nod. I wasn’t sure if things were okay between us. He was still grasping and wrapping his mind around the fact that I was seeing his sister. He needed time to come to terms with it and I needed to respect that.
When they left, I drove around aimlessly for a while, thinking of everything Andrew said. It was assurance at its finest but I still worried and felt insecure. Adam and Kate had history between them and Faith. Meanwhile, Kate and I had years of hating each other between us.
By the time I finally went back home, I spotted Kate sitting on my doorstep, head buried on her knees. “Shortcake?”
She looked up at me. She seemed tired but her face brightened at the sight of me. She rushed to my arms, lips crashing against mine. I felt it, the longing and desire pent up inside of her as we stumbled inside my house. She was quick to tear my shirt off, chucking it somewhere, her shirt following right after.
