by Marie Force
Before Ted had time to contemplate the obvious change in his mother's relationship with Caroline, Smitty came in holding hands with two women, one who looked young enough to be his daughter and the other, well, she looked just like him.
"Hello, everyone," he said in that big booming voice that was all Smitty. "I want to thank you for coming tonight and introduce you to my wife, Marjorie. Her friends call her Margo, and I know she'd be thrilled if you were to call her that."
Marjorie gave him an adoring look and nodded.
"I'll bring her around to meet each of you shortly. And this," he said with a glance at the other woman he had brought, "is my mother, Sarah Beth Smith."
The room fell completely silent.
Smitty helped both women into chairs at the head of the table. "I know you have a lot of questions," he said with a gracious smile. "And I'm going to answer them all. But for now, please take your seats, and let's have dinner."
Ted stood behind his chair and waited as Caroline crossed the room to him. When she lifted her eyes to meet his, his heart staggered in his chest.
He kissed her cheek. "Hi, honey."
"Hi, Ted. You look well."
He held her chair for her. "You look beautiful."
"Thank you."
"Happy birthday."
"You remembered," she said with a sigh.
"Yes."
Ted and Caroline whispered about Smitty's mother and made polite small talk as they were presented with a staggering array of appetizers and numerous entrée choices. He wanted to reach for her hand under the table to help calm the nerves he felt coming from her. But he didn't.
"You're not wearing your ring anymore," she said sadly.
"No, but you are."
She shrugged. "Foolish hope, I guess."
"Caroline…"
She put her hand over his on the table. "Let's just get through this because we owe it to Smitty."
* * *
They were between courses when Smitty brought Marjorie around to meet their guests. He introduced her to each of his friends as if nothing had ever happened between them.
Ted found her accent charming and her obvious love for Smitty a big relief. As Ted talked to her, he realized she was much older than she looked, which was also a relief.
"So after John came back to Sydney to finish the review of my father's company," she was saying, "he said to me one night, 'Marjorie, I think I could do something great with this place. What would you think of taking it off the market and giving me a year?'"
"Were your partners mad?" Ted asked.
Smitty shrugged. "I found another Australian company that was a good fit for them, so we parted on good terms. I decided I have all the money I need. I want to build on what Marjorie's father started. It's a lot more satisfying than playing the market every day."
"Sounds like it," Ted said.
"I'm still taking care of James, though," Smitty said with a smile as he shook hands with Parker's father. "He wouldn't take no for an answer."
Smitty and Marjorie moved on to talk to James and his date before dinner was served.
The waiters had finished serving dessert and more champagne when Smitty stood up. "I'd like to propose a toast to my wife, Marjorie. The day I landed in Sydney was the luckiest day of my life, and I'll be forever grateful to her for seeing the real me, the real John. She's the only person in the world who really knows me, and she loves me anyway. To you, sweetheart."
Ted was touched by Smitty's toast, but confused, too. The only person who really knew him? What's that supposed to mean? He exchanged glances with Caroline, who shrugged.
"To you, John." Marjorie looked up at him. "My sweet, gentle giant, the most generous man I've ever known. I love you."
Smitty touched his glass to hers and leaned down to kiss her as his guests applauded.
Ted watched his mother wipe tears from her face before she accepted his father's handkerchief.
"Next I want to propose a toast to my best friend, Ted Duffy, and his beautiful wife, Caroline."
Ted felt his stomach drop. Oh, please. Please don't let him ruin this for his wife by being an asshole. In an unconscious gesture, Ted reached for Caroline's hand under the table.
She held on for dear life.
"Duff, Caroline, we've had a tough year." Smitty used his eyes to include Parker, Chip, and Elise. "In fact, this has been the best and the worst year of my life during which I lost something I thought would last forever and found something I'd given up on ever finding. I don't know about you guys, but I'm having a hell of a time enjoying one without the other."
Ted felt his throat close and tears sting his eyes. He looked down in a desperate effort to control them.
"There's an old saying that everything happens for a reason," Smitty continued in a low, soft voice filled with emotion. "I've come to see I owe the two of you a debt of gratitude."
Ted and Caroline looked up at him with surprise.
"I had no plans to go to Sydney." He paused to let that settle. "If things hadn't happened the way they did, I would've sent someone else. I'd never have met Marjorie and maybe never have found true love and with it, the courage to face all my demons head on."
Smitty walked around the table as he spoke. "Lillian called me home to ask me to forgive you, Duff. She said if I didn't, I'd never find room in my heart for love because the bitterness would be taking up all the space."
By then, all the women and most of the men were frantically dealing with tears.
"Turns out she was right. After her funeral, after that terrible day when I had the chance to say what I needed to say to both of you, I let it go. I forgave you. I didn't realize it at the time, but I figured it out when I got back to Sydney and Marjorie was waiting for me. I knew I'd forgiven you when I was so filled with love for her that there was no room left for bitterness."
He turned to Parker. "I was unfair to you, and I apologize."
Parker nodded and wiped discreetly at the corner of his eye.
Gina put her arm around him. Her boys were busy coloring, oblivious to the drama playing out around them.
To Chip, Smitty said, "I was horribly unfair to you, and I apologize for that and for missing your wedding. My wife begged me to go. That I didn't go will surely go down as one of the great regrets of my life."
Chip did nothing to try to hide his tears as he nodded.
Elise reached out to both Chip and Smitty.
"I want my friends back," Smitty said in a whisper as the emotion of the moment finally got to him and he broke down. He swiped a big hand over his face. "Nothing's the same without you guys."
Ted was the first one out of his chair.
Smitty lifted him off his feet into a bear hug.
Parker was next, followed by Chip.
Smitty put his hands on the shoulders of Parker and Chip. "If I can forgive him," he said with a nod to Ted, "so can you. If he has with Caroline even half of what I have with Marjorie then he's a lucky man, and we all need to be happy for him."
Parker and Chip hugged Ted, who had given up on trying to hold it together.
Smitty turned next to Mitzi. "I also owe you an apology."
Perplexed, she shook her head and mouthed the word "no."
"For the last twenty years, you've been my mother, Mitz. You know that. But for all that time, I had a mother. I was dishonest with all of you about her and about my childhood."
"John." Sarah Beth held out her hand to her son. "Let me."
"You don't have to, Mom," he said, returning to his seat and taking her hand.
"Yes, I do."
Smitty sat down next to her.
She stood up and twisted her hands with nerves. "I'm so very grateful to know my John has had such exceptional people in his life for all these years. He's a wonderful man, a self-made man in every way."
Overwhelmed, Smitty hung his head, and Marjorie reached out to him.
"I'm ashamed to say he raised himself because I was so addicted to
drugs I was unable to care for him." She took a deep breath before she added softly, "I was unable to even give him the name of his father."
This time, Caroline reached for Ted.
"His childhood, in what can only be called a ghetto, was a horror, and I'm entirely to blame for that. He left for college, and I never saw him again until he and Marjorie showed up at my house last week. I've been clean for twelve years, and I've hoped and prayed every day of those twelve years that he would find his way back to me." Her voice broke, and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. "I'm so very proud of what you've made of yourself, John, the people you've surrounded yourself with, the life you've created with no help from me." To Marjorie, she said, "Thank you for convincing my boy to find his way home and for showing him that the truth will always set us free."
With one hand, Ted dealt with his tears while Caroline clung to his other hand.
Smitty stood up to hug his mother. "Mom's agreed to come home to Sydney with us so she can be with her grandchild when he or she arrives later this year."
The group erupted into applause and congratulations.
"Wow," Ted whispered to Caroline. "I just never had any idea. You think you know someone. Really know them."
"It explains a lot."
Ted nodded and with a deep breath he released her hand and stood up. "I'd like to propose a toast of my own. First, I'd like to welcome Marjorie, and while I'm at it—Gina and her boys—to our temporarily dysfunctional little family."
The others chuckled.
Still addressing Marjorie, Ted continued. "I know this may sound presumptuous, but if everything had been normal, I might've been the best man at your wedding."
Smitty nodded in agreement as new tears filled his eyes.
"That everything wasn't normal is entirely my fault. I owe you, Smitty, as well as Parker, Chip, and Elise, an apology for being cavalier with something far too valuable to ever be taken for granted. It was only when I didn't have it anymore that I could I fully appreciate what I'd lost, and what I'd caused all of you to lose as well." He paused when emotion threatened to derail him. "My friendship with you guys has been among the most important things in my life. I promise I'll never be cavalier with it again. Congratulations Smitty and Marjorie. I love you, and I wish you well."
The others applauded.
Ted sat down and glanced over at Caroline.
Her eyes bright with tears, she nodded her approval.
* * *
As the party began to break up around midnight, Ted watched Caroline hug his parents, his grandfather, Smitty, Marjorie, and the others. When she finally returned to him, she kissed his cheek. "I'm so glad for you that you've worked things out with the guys."
"I'm glad for all of us."
She nodded. "Well, it was good to see you, Ted. Take care of yourself."
"That's it?" He took hold of her arm. "See you later? Have a nice life?"
Her eyes narrowed, and she tugged her arm free. "What do you want me to say? I'm not the one who left."
"Caroline…"
"Are you ready to come home, Ted?"
"Maybe."
"You know where I am when you're ready." With one last kiss to his cheek she was gone.
Ted stood frozen, watching her go, his heart aching with regret and remorse. And then all at once he realized he would never again be whole without her by his side. No matter what, he had to find a way to win her back. Elise was right—they'd all sacrificed too much to settle for anything less than happily ever after.
He dashed through the halls of the restaurant, down the stairs to the front door. "Caroline! Caroline! Wait!"
Chapter 40
He reached the curb in time to watch her taxi pull away. Running into traffic, he gave chase, but couldn't catch the car. With his arm in the air and shivering from the cold, he tried to hail another cab as hers got further away. When he realized he wouldn't be able to catch up to her, he jogged back to the restaurant, dropped his hands to his knees, and tried to regroup.
That's where his parents and grandfather found him a few minutes later. His father handed him his coat.
"Ted, darling, what's wrong?" Mitzi asked.
"Nothing." For the first time in months, he meant it. "Nothing's wrong." Everything had clicked into focus with such startling clarity it had left him breathless. He put up his hand again to signal for a taxi. "Do you know where Caroline's staying, Mom?"
"No, I don't," Mitzi said with genuine regret.
"Will you be all right in that hotel room by yourself tonight, Grampa?"
"I think I'll get by," Theo said with a smile. "Your Grandy would've been proud of you tonight, Third. Smitty, too. Now, go get your wife."
Ted kissed them all and hailed a second cab for them before jumping into his. "JFK, please," he said to the driver.
He got to the airport to learn the last commuter flight to Boston was long gone. So he rented a car and reversed his middle-of-the night odyssey from the summer before, arriving at the condo in Boston just after four in the morning. This time, though, Caroline wasn't waiting for him with open arms.
Because his keys were in his hotel room in New York, he was relieved to find the house key still under the flowerpot on the front porch. He let himself in, deactivated the alarm, and flipped on the light to find that not much had changed in the two months since he'd last been there.
No, that wasn't true. Everything had changed. He wasn't sure exactly when it had happened, but this wasn't his place anymore. It was their place.
She wasn't home, though, so nothing was where it belonged. On the fridge he found the list they'd made on their wedding night. She'd checked off number five, he had a new job. And number six—her book was finished. Ted felt as if he might burst with pride. She'd really done it. And number seven… Oh God, she'd checked off number seven: have a baby.
"Caroline," he whispered, running a hand over the creamy vellum.
As the emotion of the evening finally caught up to him, he leaned his head against the list and let the tears roll down his cheeks. What a fool he had been. What would he ever do if she couldn't forgive him? When he was all cried out, he sat down to wait.
* * *
He slept on the sofa and woke up hungry. Shedding his suit coat and tugging his tie all the way off, he got up to make coffee and toast. After he ate, he went upstairs to take a shower and changed into clothes that still hung just where he'd left them in the closet. Even his toothbrush was unmoved. He might have walked out the door two hours ago rather than two months ago.
Dressed in jeans and a sweater, he went back downstairs and wandered into what used to be his office. Here he found her. She had made this space her own. Ted was perplexed to discover, mixed in with the papers on the desk, brochures for Children's Hospital Boston, the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, and the Jimmy Fund Clinic. Each was adorned with sticky notes containing her handwriting. Also on the desk was a neat stack of paper. Her book. As he rested a loving hand on the book, a framed photo caught his eye. Their second wedding. They had been captured in an unguarded moment when he had swept her into his arms. He picked up the frame and studied the image.
"Come home, Caroline," he whispered. "Please come home."
He could call her. He knew that. But he was too afraid she wouldn't come if she knew he was there. Maybe he had waited too long to realize what he'd had and walked away from. Maybe he had pushed her too far away. Maybe he had taken too much for granted. It wouldn't be the first time.
No, he would wait. And until she came home, he would read.
* * *
He finished the book at five o'clock that afternoon and sat back with amazement. The story was captivating, the characters compelling, her descriptions vivid. He had even found himself rooting for Cameron to triumph in the highly satisfying ending.
"Damn, Caroline! You're good, baby." He checked his watch. "But where are you?"
Gathering up the papers that had scattered during his reading frenzy, Ted returned the
pile to the desk. He fixed himself a sandwich and was reaching for the remote to turn on the TV when he heard her key in the door.
She came in, dropped her bag on the floor, and was taking off her coat when she let out a startled gasp. "Ted? What are you doing here?"
"I've been here since about four o'clock this morning."
Her eyes softened as she studied his tired face. "Have you been speeding again?"
He nodded and held out his arms to her.
She took a step toward him but then stopped herself. "I can't. If you aren't back to stay, I can't go near you. It was hard enough to sit next to you last night and pretend we're still together."
He extended his hand. "There's so much I need to say to you. Please?"
With what seemed to be great reluctance, she took his hand and let him lead her to the sofa.
"Were you going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"Number seven."
"Oh. You saw that, huh?"
He nodded.
"I was trying to figure out how to tell you. I knew you'd come home because of it, and as much as I wanted you home, I didn't want it to be for that reason."
He ran his hand over her smooth blond hair. "How far along are you?"
"About twelve weeks."
"Have you seen a doctor?"
"Yes, Dr. Duffy." She laughed through her tears. "Yes, I've seen a doctor."
"I've spent all night trying to figure out when, how…"
"Since you're the doctor, I would think you'd know how, and I'd say you sealed your fate when you chucked my birth control pills into the trash."
He grinned. "One of my finer moments, if I do say so myself." Brushing away her tears, he said, "I love you so much, Caroline. Right after you walked away from me last night I realized I couldn't live another minute without you. I'm so sorry I left when things got hard. I took the coward's way out, and I'll always regret that."
"You did what you needed to do."
"What I need is you. After everything we've been through, do you still love me?"
"I never stopped loving you. Have you forgiven yourself, Ted?"
