Angie leant back against the counter behind her, folding her arms and sighing heavily. ‘It’s such a mess, Tay.’
‘There ain’t no mess, honey. Me and Charlie, we made sure of that.’
‘I’m not talking about the mess kicked up over Shane… Jesus! I’m talking about the relationship with my daughter. I want her back, Tay. I want my daughter back. I want her to be a part of this club again.’
‘And she will be,’ Tay said, throwing his empty beer bottle into the bin behind the bar. ‘If that’s what she wants.’
Angie watched him as he turned to walk away. ‘She’ll have her suspicions, you know that, don’t you?’
Tay turned back around to face her.
‘About what happened with Shane. She’s not stupid, Tay. She knows the way things work around here.’
Tay waited a couple of beats before he spoke again. ‘Then we’ll just have to make sure her suspicions stay just that. Won’t we?’
***
Lexi stood in front of the mirror, smiling at her reflection, running a hand over the tattoo that snaked all the way from her left shoulder down to her wrist – a pattern of fire and flames spurting forth from the mouth of a dark-eyed dragon, engulfing roses and thorns and a Harley just like her dad’s. She’d had it done the day she’d turned eighteen, right here in this clubhouse. And two months later she’d had another one done, one that started in the small of her back and ran all the way down over her hip and right thigh – more fire and flames, more roses and wreckage. She loved those tattoos. She’d loved everything about the life she’d led back then. Because she’d still been so young. Still so unaware of the reality being a part of the Lone Riders could kick up.
Fresh out of the shower and dressed only in tiny white panties and a t-shirt, she was feeling more awake and invigorated now after a short sleep. It was almost as if being back here, back inside these familiar walls – it was almost as if it was finally bringing her the peace she’d craved for so long. Which was ironic, because this place was anything but peaceful. But being away from here, it hadn’t made her want to keep that distance, it had only made her want to close it. And now that she’d all but done that, she could feel a sense of calm descending. Almost. Because there was still so much she had yet to face. Things that could see that calm quickly disappear.
‘Baby, you are looking as good as any of those girls Blake keeps bringing round here.’
Lexi swung around to see Coby standing in the open doorway, hands in his pockets as he leant nonchalantly against the doorpost. ‘Those girls, as you call them, are mostly porn stars and third rate glamour models, from what I can gather. You saying that’s the category I fit into?’
He smiled, his eyes locked on hers. ‘I’m just saying you look – hot. But then, you always did.’
She leant back against the sideboard, in no hurry to cover up. Why bother? Most of them had seen it all anyway. Some had even had the pleasure of getting to know her body on a far more intimate level, but that had been before Jesse. Before everything. ‘You ever hear of knocking?’
‘Nobody knocks around here, Lexi, you know that.’
She briefly looked down at the floor as she remembered Kip walking in on her and Shane. One stupid, spiteful act that had caused her to lose so many years of her life here in Paradise. A regret she could never take back. An action that had stirred up so much more shit than anyone could ever have anticipated. ‘Do you want something?’ She looked back up, her eyes once more meeting Coby’s as he moved further into the room.
‘Just making sure you’re okay.’
‘I’m fine. Thanks for your concern.’
He smiled again, stopping just a few short steps away from her. ‘I’ve missed you, Lexi.’
Her eyes refused to leave his, the icy stare she’d given him earlier returning. ‘Don’t, Coby.’
He reached out to tuck a strand of damp hair behind her ear, his head dipping, his mouth moving so close to her ear she could feel his breath warm on her neck and she inhaled sharply as his fingers grazed her skin. ‘Later, beautiful.’
She watched him leave, closing the door behind him as another round of memories, another barrage of reasons returned to remind her why she’d been made to leave here all those years ago. And why she’d had to come back. Shit! This place was like poison. It was toxic. But she was addicted. To the pull of the thrill, the danger. She was fucking addicted.
Her head shot back up as the door opened again, but this time it was Jesse standing there, all biker-boy-hot with his hair pulled back off his face, his tattoos on show.
‘I’m confused, Lexi. I’m not gonna deny that. And, right now, I don’t care whether you’re back here for me or not, I don’t care if this is gonna confuse the shit out of me even more. I just know that I need to be with you again.’
‘That isn’t fair, Jesse. On either of us.’
‘Do you want it?’
She looked at him. ‘Sex?’
‘Yeah. Hot, dirty, biker sex.’
She couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. ‘That really is so not fair.’
‘Yeah, well, I think things stopped being fair a long time ago.’
She looked down, shifting her gaze from his because she had to be clear about this. She had to make him understand. ‘I can’t make you any promises, Jesse. There’s – there’s a lot of shit gone down since I was last here, and I can’t make any promises… I can’t…’
‘You already told me that.’
She looked up, their eyes meeting again. ‘We do this, we have sex, and you need to understand that it means nothing.’
He shrugged. ‘It’s sex. A welcome home fuck, that’s all. Baby, come on. You can’t expect me to look at you like that and not want to fuck your beautiful brains out.’
She smiled again, knowing exactly where this was going, and knowing she was powerless to stop it. Even though she should. She really, really should.
‘Okay,’ she whispered, holding his gaze. ‘Okay. Come and get it, biker boy.’
‘Jesus Christ,’ he whispered, taking off his cut and throwing it on to a nearby chair as he walked over to her. ‘What the fuck have I been missing?’
Lexi felt her stomach contract, her breath catching in her throat as he approached her. The anticipation was almost painful as years of pent up frustration bubbled over, spilling out of her in one long, loud scream as he yanked off her panties, lifting her up and pushing her back against the wall. She wrapped her legs around him, pushing herself against him as he thrust into her, so hard it rocked her body right back, but she’d take it, the pain and the discomfort. She’d take it all, because it was Jesse. And he was reclaiming what had once been his. What should have always been his. But she’d ruined that. She’d ruined the future they could have had.
He was filling her up with a beautiful warmth, his strong arms holding her tight – her gentle giant. To feel this, his body merging with hers, to feel that again was like a shot of the most powerful drug, something she’d been denied for so long but now she was heading towards overdose, and she didn’t care. Because this wasn’t going to be anything lasting or permanent, it couldn’t be. And one day he’d understand why. They all would.
Burying her fingers in his hair she threw back her head as he gave one last thrust, his body stiffening as he got ready to explode inside her, and she clung on tighter as she felt him come. Felt a torrent of heat, a rush so strong tearing through her she couldn’t stop the cries from escaping, animalistic yells echoing around the room as his cries merged with hers. She pushed herself forward, grinding her body against his until she felt her own release begin its journey, flooding over her in one quick, hurried wave, engulfing her in a cocoon of hope and peace and calm she knew was temporary, but it felt so good.
She waited a few seconds, letting her breathing return to normal before she opened her eyes and looked at him, her fingers still buried in his hair, his body still inside hers. ‘What did we just do, Jesse Jackson?’
‘We just said hello, Lexi. That’s all. Lone Riders style.’
She couldn’t help smiling. And as his mouth closed in on hers, every memory of how his kiss made her feel came rushing forward at a rate that was breathtaking, like a metaphorical punch to the solar plexus. The familiar scratch of his beard against her skin, the smell of cigarettes mixed with beer and engine oil that was like the most beautiful of colognes. The movement of his lips against hers, the way his tongue pushed gently inside her mouth, exploring, dancing alongside hers in a way so at odds with the persona he liked to give off – the rough-edged biker with the shady past and a present she didn’t always like to think about. But to her, that’s what made him so hot. That’s what made him so dangerous. That’s what made him someone she should really leave alone.
‘Deena’s gone, baby. She’s gone,’ Jesse whispered, finally pulling out of her. Lexi unwrapped her legs from around his hips and he lowered her down, his arms still holding on to her, and she was in no hurry to go anywhere.
‘Jesus, Jesse…’ She threw her head back, sighing heavily. ‘Why? Me and you…’
‘I know, okay? I know you can’t make any promises, and I know we have no idea what’s gonna happen, but… it wasn’t going anywhere, Lexi. Me and Deena. It really wasn’t.’
‘Shit!’
‘Stay here tonight, baby. Stay here, at the clubhouse. With me. No strings, I promise.’
She looked at him, right into those beautiful, kind eyes. ‘I don’t know…’
‘Please, Lexi. I know what I’m doing, okay?’
Did she, though? Did she have any idea what she was really doing here? Because if he thought they could ever get back what they’d used to have, he was wrong. So wrong. It was never going to happen. Not now. It couldn’t. She’d made sure of that.
Six
‘Cut her some slack, Kip. For me, brother. Please.’
‘What the fuck are you doing, man? She’s only gonna hurt you again, you know that, don’t you?’
‘She won’t,’ Jesse said, taking another beer from the ice barrel outside the clubhouse door. Loud rock music filled the closed compound, the orange glow of a fire and the bulbs strewn from the canopy above them lighting the yard as Kel’s welcome home party got underway. Blake and Cain had gone to pick him up from Hilton State penitentiary and bring him home to his favourite beer and a heap of barbecued burgers that were waiting for him on his arrival.
‘She won’t,’ Kip repeated dryly, taking a long drink of beer. ‘So, you’re quite happy to just fuck her every now and again and walk away when she’s done with you, is that it? You’re really okay with that?’
‘It wasn’t her who wanted sex, all right? That was all on me. I’m the one who made her do it, the one who suggested it. And if I want to go there then that’s my call, you got that?’
Kip shrugged. ‘Hey, you want to fuck up your life a second time, be my guest. You do whatever it is you have to do, but I think you’re making a big mistake. You let her in, you give her all that room, and she is gonna kill you, Jesse. She’s gonna rip your fucking heart out all over again.’
‘And I can handle it, okay?’ Jesse looked over at Lexi. She was sitting between Luca and Walt, both of them looking incredibly pleased with themselves as they leaned in towards her, each of them with a hand on one of her knees.
‘You can handle it, can you?’ Kip asked, raising an eyebrow. ‘You see what she is, brother? Do you see that?’
‘Just keep out of it, Kip.’
‘She’s my sister, Jesse.’
‘Then stop talking about her as though she’s nothing but some low down mama. Treat her with some fucking respect.’
‘Like she did with you, huh?’
Jesse ignored Kip, his eyes back on Lexi. It really was like she’d never been away, but that shouldn’t have been a surprise, the way she just slotted back into life here. Just like him, it was all she knew. Any other kind of life was alien to her. ‘I loved her, okay? I loved her so fucking much, and I can’t just switch that off.’
‘You managed it for eight years.’
‘I didn’t, though, Kip. I just pretended it wasn’t there. Do you understand?’
‘No.’ Kip took another long drink before setting his empty bottle down on the table beside them. ‘Not really.’ He noticed Lexi walking towards them, all long legs and biker-chick beautiful in tiny denim cut-offs and a figure-hugging, open-necked shirt, her mane of blonde hair falling loose around her shoulders. He couldn’t deny his sister was one scarily hot woman. If he wasn’t her brother he’d be thinking about going there himself, so in reality he couldn’t really blame Jesse for still feeling the way he did. ‘I’ll leave you guys to it,’ he said, walking away just as Lexi approached.
‘Something I said?’ she asked, sliding her hands into the back pockets of her shorts.
‘Leave him,’ Jesse muttered. ‘He’s being a dick.’
‘Tell me something I don’t know,’ she sighed.
‘Hey, guys! They’re here!’ Coby yelled from the other end of the compound as he manually hauled open the gate to let the club’s huge black pick-up truck drive through.
‘Kel’s home,’ Lexi whispered, a smile spreading across her face. She couldn’t believe how ridiculously excited she felt at seeing him again, after all this time.
‘And he is gonna be so pleased to see his favourite girl back where she belongs.’ Jesse smiled, holding out his hand, and she took it, letting him lead her over to the crowd gathered around the truck, watching as Blake and Cain jumped out first before Kel finally made his appearance. And he was just as Lexi remembered him, all big and bold with the same mass of grey hair and that beard that always looked as though it needed some attention. The same friendly, welcoming face.
She let him say his hellos, let everyone have their reunion, including Jesse, letting go of his hand so he could get to Kel. She didn’t want to make her presence felt straightaway. It didn’t feel right. So she stood back from the group, watching as Kel hugged everybody, and another pang of regret for everything she’d missed, everything she’d messed up, shot through her. This was her family. Paradise was her home. She adored her father – Charlie was her idol, he’d made her who she was, and the eight years she’d spent with the Lone Riders over in England had been full of happy times, despite the fact she’d spent the first couple of years missing Paradise and everything – everyone – she’d left behind with a pain so raw she had no idea how she’d lasted so long without running back. Because this was where she belonged. She knew that now.
‘Well, who do we have here?’
She looked up at the sound of his voice – that warm, soft, comforting voice. And she couldn’t help but let the biggest smile take over as she ran towards Kel’s open arms, throwing herself at him, wrapping her legs around his ample waist as he hugged her tight.
‘Hey! My favourite girl’s back in town! And, baby, your timing is just perfect! I couldn’t have wished for a better welcome home present.’
She held on to him, breathing in that same smell they all seemed to share – that smell of beer and cigarettes, and she could also detect a faint hint of weed on Kel, something she suspected he’d smoked in the truck on the way home, courtesy of Blake and Cain.
‘How beautiful did you get?’ Kel smiled, putting her down and stroking her hair back off her face. ‘How grown-up you’ve become.’ He didn’t have any idea just how grown-up she’d had to be these past few years. She could barely get her head around it herself. ‘We’re sorry, baby. Okay?’ His voice lowered a touch as he looked into her eyes. ‘For what happened.’
‘I know.’ She returned his smile, putting her hand over his, curling her fingers around it, letting him pull her in for a quick kiss.
‘All forgotten now, sweetheart. Okay?’
She nodded.
‘Good girl.’ Kel turned around, looking for Jesse who was leaning against his bike, a cigarette in one hand, a beer in the other. ‘We all right there?’
Kel squeezed her hand. ‘You need to talk, you come to me, okay?’
She smiled again, leaning in to kiss his cheek. ‘Okay.’
‘Go on, go enjoy yourself. Get reacquainted with this bunch of losers. That’s what I’m gonna do. I’ll see you later.’
She watched as he made his way over to Coby, enveloping him in a huge bear hug.
‘You know Kel’s gonna want to talk to you, don’t you?’ Jesse said, walking over to her, taking one last drag on his cigarette before throwing it down on the ground, stubbing it out with the heel of his heavy black boot. ‘Make sure you’re really all right.’
‘He knows I’m fine. He’ll just want to catch up, see how Charlie’s doing.’
‘And how is Charlie doing?’ Jesse asked, sitting down on one of the tables outside the clubhouse.
‘He’s good. He’s running the Mother Chapter better than ever before. Those guys have got so much respect for him.’
‘Yeah, well, he’s a good guy, your dad. My old man always had a lot of time for Charlie Hart.’
‘The only blip came when Shane died.’ The only blip? Lexi’s gaze lowered again, her eyes down on the ground. ‘The suspicions, the whispering, the jumping to conclusions – everyone had their own opinion of what happened.’ Her eyes met Jesse’s again. ‘Things went a bit sour for a while. My dad lost a little bit of control because he will do anything – anything – to stop the name of this club his father created from being blackened in any way. And some of them… some of them really did try to do that, for a while.’
Jesse handed her his beer, watching as she took a long drink. ‘Things were that bad, huh?’
She shrugged, handing him back the beer, half wishing she hadn’t started this conversation. She wasn’t anywhere near ready for where it could lead just yet. For where it had to lead – eventually. ‘There was just a lot of talk, a lot of speculation, that’s all. And my dad, he... it was a tough time for him. But he handled it. You know Charlie – he doesn’t let anything get him down for long. He knows how to deal with situations. In his own way.’
Revolution (The Lone Riders MC Series Book #1) Page 5
