Second Wind

by Aimee Nicole Walker

  “Wow, you look ten years younger,” Kennedy said.

  “Nah, that’s a stretch. That gray in his beard gives his age away,” Holden said, his mouth tipped up into a crooked smile, and I knew we were going to be okay. “Does Mom know already?”

  “She was the first person to find out.” I told them about the weekend at Grandma’s house. “At first, she just wanted to comfort me because I was really upset and emotional. When we got back home, we had a long conversation. She told me that it made sense in a way because we just never clicked the way other couples did. We had so much love between us, but it wasn’t the physical kind.” I grimaced when I thought that I told them too much, but neither of them commented or made faces like they were going to vomit.

  “Is that really why you got a divorce?” Kennedy inquired. There was no judgement in her voice, just basic curiosity.

  “Kennedy, picture how your mom smiled when she was married to me and compare it to the smile she beams at Jackson.” I saw the moment she understood what I was saying. “Your mother is my best friend, and that will never change. I loved her with everything I had, but it wasn’t enough. I was never unfaithful to her, nor was she to me, but we didn’t complete each other. We got a divorce because we don’t belong together. It makes me so happy to see the way she lights up when Jackson enters the room. Mom deserves to be loved like that every single day for the rest of her life.”

  “Have you started dating too?” Holden asked.

  “Your mom tried to fix me up with a few guys, but they weren’t interested in dating a closet case in their forties.” The kids grinned when they heard their mom was trying to find the perfect man for me. “I just came out to Grandma on Saturday night and drove here yesterday.”

  “Why didn’t you call us when you arrived?” Kennedy inquired.

  “Well, um… I ran into an old friend.” I stopped and shook my head. “Damn, that’s such an understatement.”

  “Was it him, the boy you loved?” Holden asked. “He’s here in Chicago?”

  “Yes,” I said, choking up. I cleared my throat a few times and said, “I couldn’t come out to Grandma without stirring up so many memories of Rush. I couldn’t look at a Ferris wheel without thinking about him. He loved and feared them as a kid, and I convinced him to ride one with me. It was the moment that I realized I loved him. As tired as I was when I arrived after the long drive, I decided to walk to the pier and ride the Centennial Wheel. And there he was.”

  “Wow,” Kennedy sighed sappily. “That sounds like a beautiful ending you’d find in a romance novel.”

  “They don’t write romance novels about two dudes,” Holden said.

  “Of course they do,” Kennedy countered then looked at me. “You remember the Wrights that I interned for two summers ago, right?” I nodded. “Chase’s grandmother is Agnes Simmons, the famous romance writer.”

  “Hell, even I recognize that name. My mom and her friends used to read her books all the time,” I told Kennedy. “Grandma will freak out when she hears.”

  “Agnes turned to writing gay romance full time after her grandson, Chase, came out. She decided that every heart deserves a happily ever after and every type of love should be represented in literature. It was a slow transition at first, but eventually her gay romance books took off. She is the neatest, feistiest woman I have ever met.”

  “You working for the Wrights really triggered the need for me to be truthful about myself. When I researched the company, I saw the life that the two men built together. I knew that I could have that too, if only I were brave enough.”

  “You’re the bravest man I know, Daddy,” Kennedy said. And just like when she was a little girl, she climbed onto my lap and threw her arms around my neck. Holden joined us but sat on the arm of the chair and looped his arms around us both. I couldn’t have stopped the grateful tears from falling if someone offered me a trillion dollars. My children’s love was priceless.

  “Now we know why you didn’t call us when you arrived yesterday,” Holden teased. “Does that mean you’re moving to Chicago?”

  “I have no idea what any of this means right now, son. I’m just playing it by ear this week.”

  Kennedy lifted her head from my shoulder and looked up at me. “Can we meet him?”

  “I’d love that, and I think he would too.” No matter what happened between Rush and me going forward, I wanted my children to meet the man who had such a massive impact on my life.

  “Do I look okay?” I asked straightening my tie for at least the tenth time as we waited for Linc’s kids to arrive at Mario’s. I cringed when I saw my panicked expression in the mirror behind the bar. “Fuck, I should’ve at least gotten my hair cut. I look a mess.”

  Sexy laughter rumbled up from Linc’s chest and our eyes connected in the mirror. Just like that, all the air was sucked out of the room and everyone around us faded into oblivion. There was only him and me; the way it was meant to be. We turned our heads to look at each other, and I knew exactly what he was thinking when he ran his hand over my hair. He was recalling the way he liked to fist it in his hands when I knelt at his feet. Or maybe he was remembering the ideas he had about what we could do with our ties once we got back to my place.

  A masculine cough and a feminine giggle interrupted my thoughts that were best suited for when we were alone. Lincoln didn’t immediately pull back to greet his children, which surprised me. Instead, he ghosted his thumb over my cheekbone and jaw. I expected him to be a little more reticent about showing affection in public, but he surprised me all the time. That doubting voice in my head said it was because he felt safer here in a city where people didn’t know him. He had nothing invested here, nothing to lose.

  “Hello, children,” Linc said without looking away from me.

  “Oh, great. Another one bites the dust,” Holden said, then hummed the famous Queen song. “Mom hasn’t called me in over a week.”

  That got Linc’s attention, and he broke eye contact to address his son. I also turned in their direction and couldn’t get over how much they both resembled the man I loved. Yes, loved. I knew it was stupid to let myself fall so hard and fast for him again, but if I was being honest, I’d admit that I never stopped loving him. It was like I’d gone into remission for the past two decades, and everything I felt for him roared to the surface when our eyes met on the pier.

  I could tell from photos on Linc’s phone that Kennedy had Phee’s coloring, but the shape of her eyes, nose, mouth, and even chin were all Lincoln. Holden looked so much like his dad that it was uncanny.

  “Try calling her occasionally, jackass. The lines run both ways,” Kennedy told her brother then turned her attention to me. “Excuse us for being rude.” She extended her hand and said, “I’m Kennedy and this is my idiot brother, Holden.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Kennedy,” I said shaking her hand before I extended mine to Linc’s son. “And you as well, Holden.”

  “Kennedy, be nice,” Lincoln said.

  “Okay,” she grumbled.

  “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Holden asked me. “You look familiar to me.”

  “Um, I…”

  Holden snapped his fingers then pointed his index finger at me. “I’ve seen you around the SAIC campus. Are you a professor?”

  “No, but I act as a guest lecturer for photography classes on occasion,” I said. “You must be a talented artist to attend SAIC.”

  Even though the kid exuded confidence, he just shrugged casually.

  “He is,” Linc and Kennedy said at the same time, making his cheeks turn a little pink.

  I wanted to ask about the various mediums that he studied, but decided to wait until later since he was obviously uncomfortable. “Our table won’t be ready for fifteen minutes, so why don’t you join us at the bar?” I suggested. I moved down to make room for the Huxley siblings to sit between us. Kennedy chose the stool next to me while Holden settled in next to his dad.

  “Loyola, huh?” I as
ked Kennedy. “That’s an impressive school.”

  “I love it so much. I love everything about Chicago,” she said emphatically. “I really thought I’d miss California, but I don’t.”

  “Not even the mild winters?” I asked her.

  “She loves the snow,” Holden said, shivering dramatically beside his sister. Linc laughed and patted his son’s shoulder.

  “Holden isn’t a fan of snow.”

  “Lake effect snow, Dad. Feet of snow, not inches,” Holden offered in rebuttal. “I suppose you’ll soon learn that for yourself when you move here.”

  You could’ve knocked me over with a feather. Lincoln and I hadn’t discussed anything beyond the current week. Did his kids know something I didn’t, or was Holden just making assumptions?

  Linc saw the surprise in my eyes and offered a warm smile before he looked at his son. “Holden, no decisions like that have been made.”

  “Uh-huh,” he said in a disbelieving tone. “I bet you already looked in to getting a real estate broker license here.”

  “I, uh…”

  “That means he has,” Kennedy said. “He probably already has an exit plan. I don’t see what you have to lose, Daddy. You’ll still be a partner in Forever Home, and maybe you can open another branch here in Chicago. The real estate market here must be insane.”

  “Well, if it’s that easy…” Linc teased them. “You guys, let’s not scare Rush off so soon.”

  “Dad, you named me after him. If that didn’t freak him out, then nothing will.”

  I had to close my eyes to fight against the tears that threatened to spill when I remembered the sound of Linc’s voice when he talked about holding his son in his arms for the first time. He said they’d had a different name picked out, but he took one look at his little miracle and told Ophelia that he wanted to name him Holden. She agreed without question. “It was the best way I knew how to honor you,” he’d whispered against my lips.

  “I don’t scare easily,” I quipped. Truth be told, I was fucking terrified of the way that Linc made me feel. Over the years, I had convinced myself that I totally exaggerated the love we shared, but I had grossly underestimated it. Everything felt both familiar and new, scary and exhilarating. It was everything I’d experienced with him as a teen but magnified by a thousand times.

  “Hello, Rush,” a breathy voice said from behind me. Holden’s mouth dropped open and his eyes bugged out of his head like a cartoon character.

  I turned and faced the young model whose face put me on the map. It was the photos I took of her that graced the covers of fashion magazines all over the world. I swore up and down that she was the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe. “Hello, honey. How are you?” I kissed the cheek she presented to me, fully aware of our audience. “This is…”

  “Mystic Rose,” Holden said as breathlessly as Mystic sounded a few moments ago. “Wow, you’re even more stunning in person. I thought for sure that a lot of your allure was from photoshopping.”

  “Hey,” I said in mock horror. Of course, I used Photoshop to edit my images, but I had a strict contract with magazines that my images were not to be altered after we agreed on a final image. The amount of photoshopping that most magazines did was horrifying. They took images of beautiful, healthy women and edited them until they looked plastic, fake, and sometimes unhealthy.

  “I like you,” she said as she approached Linc’s son. “What’s your name, handsome?”

  “Uh…” It was fucking adorable how Holden practically swallowed his tongue when Mystic turned her full attention on him.

  “His name is Holden,” Kennedy said. “I’m Kennedy. Our father, Lincoln,” she gestured to her dad with a flourish, “is Rush’s boyfriend.”

  “It’s lovely to meet you, Mystic,” Lincoln said without refuting the title Kennedy gave him.

  Mystic smiled briefly at Kennedy and Lincoln before she turned her attention back to Holden. “Can I please have your phone?” Mystic held her hand out, palm up.

  “Sure,” Holden said and eagerly placed it in her hand.

  “I’m going to program my number in your phone, and I’d like you to call me, Holden.”

  “Oh God.” The kid sounded like he was about to rupture something. I suspected I knew just what. His dad had the same effect on me.

  “Jesus,” Kennedy muttered under her breath.

  Mystic programmed her number in Holden’s phone and handed it back to him, but she didn’t stop there. She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the cheek. “I just sent a text to my phone so that I can add you in mine as well. Goodbye, Holden.”

  “Uh, b-b-bye,” he stuttered, earning a giggle out of Kennedy while Linc and I exchanged knowing smiles. “I’ll call you tonight.”

  “I’ll answer.” She wiggled her fingers in a goodbye wave and rejoined her friends at the hostess station.

  “We’ve lost him for the night,” Linc said as Holden continued to stare as the alluring model and her group of friends were shown to their table. He still looked for her after she was gone until Kennedy snapped her fingers in front of his face.

  “Come back to us, Holden,” she said dramatically, as if he were on the verge of dying instead of falling in lust.

  “Huh?” he asked. “What the hell just happened?” He shook his head.

  “The most popular supermodel in the world just gave you her phone number and commanded you to call her. Dude, I hope you’re trimmed up down there. A girl like that will expect things to be nice and tight below the belt. No wild bush and hairy man berries.”

  Holden looked down at his crotch like he was trying to remember if he’d manscaped or not.

  “Come on, Kennedy,” Linc said. “I don’t want to hear about Holden’s bush and berries.”

  I threw my head back and laughed like I hadn’t in years. Holden snapped out of his fog, looking like he could strangle his sister. The teasing and laughing continued all through dinner and spilled over onto the sidewalk when we left. We waited with the kids until their Lyft driver arrived, then they hugged us both before they got in the car.

  “Don’t forget to call Mystic,” I told Holden.

  “She was serious about that?” he asked, sounding unsure.

  “Very,” I told him. “I’ve known her since she was sixteen years old. She doesn’t say things she doesn’t mean, and she goes after what she wants.”

  “Me?” he asked.

  “You. Don’t let her fame intimidate you, buddy. She’s fun, vibrant, and down to earth. You’ll kick yourself in the ass if you don’t try.”

  “Okay, Rush,” Holden said. “It was good to meet you. Thanks for making my dad so happy. I’ve never seen him like this.”

  “Thank you,” I replied, unsure of what else to say. “Have a good night,” I told them before Linc shut the door.

  I had no fucking clue going into the evening how it would turn out, but it couldn’t have gone any better. Linc’s kids were as amazing as I thought they would be, and I loved seeing the mutual adoration between them. He and Ophelia raised remarkable young adults. It made me even sadder that I’d never experienced fatherhood for myself.

  It was impossible to remain sad with Lincoln looking at me with so much desire in his eyes. There was another emotion present, but I was too afraid to believe it just yet. “Can we swing by my hotel so I can grab a few more things?”

  “Why don’t we just check you out? There’s no sense in paying for a room you’re not using.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to be in your way, especially since you work from home.”

  “Linc, I love having you near me. It will make my workday go by faster and give me something to look forward to each night. Brutus loves having you there, and I think you’re enjoying your daily walk as much as he does.”

  “He’s a damn good dog.”

  “Let’s check you out of the hotel so we don’t lose any more precious time for the remainder of your visit.”

  Linc pressed his forehead to mine. “Dea
l.”

  When we got to his hotel though, we were greatly distracted by the enormous bed he hadn’t slept in yet. Linc hadn’t come to Chicago for a hookup and I was sorely unprepared. I ended up making a mad dash to the little store in the lobby with my shirt partially unbuttoned, swollen lips, and messy hair from Lincoln running his hands through it.

  “Have a good night,” the store clerk said with a crooked grin.

  “Plan on it,” I said, glancing over my shoulder to give him a grin of my own. When I turned back around, I saw that Travis was standing just outside the door. I hoped he wouldn’t see me since I had a naked man sprawled and waiting in a bed four floors up, but luck wasn’t on my side.

  “Rush?” Travis asked, his eyes taking in my current state of disarray.

  “This is exactly what it looks like,” I told him as I hurried by. “Have a good night.”

  “What are you doing here?” Travis demanded. I could tell from the proximity of his voice that he was following me. “The Ritz is a little pricey for an escort service.”

  I turned to face him when I reached the elevator. “I’m not here with a goddamned escort.” The elevator doors opened, and Travis moved to follow me. I held out my hand to stop him. “Stop following me, Travis. There’s nothing left for us to discuss, and I don’t fucking share.”

  He looked stunned by the possessive growl that rumbled out of my throat. I held on to that energy until I reached Lincoln’s room and let myself in. My God, that man was so fucking beautiful that he took my breath away. All those muscles, that smooth skin, and his urgent erection was nothing compared to the adoring look in his eyes when I returned.

  “Took you long enough,” he said, patting the bed.

  I tossed the items on the bed and peeled out of my clothes as fast as I could. Linc lunged and reached for me as soon as I put my knee on the bed. He pulled me against his chest then rolled me to my back.