Second Wind

by Aimee Nicole Walker

  Linc snorted and pulled me to him as we made our way back to the bed. He rubbed his knuckles over my head like he did when we were kids. “You’re never going to let me live that down.”

  “You ruined my chances at being the star quarterback.”

  I would’ve been insulted at how hard he laughed if it wasn’t deserved. “You fucking hated football.”

  “I did, until I could appreciate how good you looked in those pants. My God, the jerk-off sessions I had. I could’ve earned league MVP for all the times I scored with you behind my closed eyelids.” Then a smile spread slowly across my face as I looked at him from the opposite side of the bed. “Turned out I didn’t need the skills to throw a football to make you my tight end.”

  “Ha ha ha,” Linc said, sliding beneath the covers. He patted the bed beside him, the only place I wanted to spend my nights. “That was corny then, and it’s corny now.”

  “Sorry,” I said sheepishly, sliding between the sheets until I was pressed against him.

  “But also very true.” Linc kissed the top of my head where it lay resting over his heart. “What are you going to get me for our first Christmas?”

  “Socks and underwear so you’ll stop taking mine when you run out of clean laundry,” I said.

  “Practical, but boring,” Linc said, nudging me. “An artist like you can come up with something more amazing.”

  “I’m a photographer, babe.”

  “That’s a form of art.”

  “Nah, pretty sure I’ll stick with the socks and underwear. Maybe some new aftershave if you’re a really good boy between now and Christmas.”

  “I know better,” Linc said, then hummed sleepily. “You’re up to something. I can smell it.”

  “I think that’s Brutus’s fart you’re smelling,” I said then yawned. “Go to sleep. You need to find me the perfect gift.”

  Linc chuckled. “I’m revising my plan now. I was going to get you something amazing and grand, but you’d feel like utter shit if all you’re going to get me is socks and underwear.”

  “Don’t forget the aftershave.” I tweaked his nipple playfully.

  “Hey now,” he said, sounding as affronted as he could when he was moments away from falling asleep. I doubted either of us would remember the ridiculous back-and-forth conversation in the morning.

  I licked the afflicted nipple briefly and loved the way his arm tightened around me, like he would’ve done more if he wasn’t so exhausted. Or perhaps, like me, he pulled me tighter because he worried he’d wake up to find it had only been a dream—one too beautiful to come true.

  When the morning came, I knew he remembered everything when he rolled me to my back and tried to tickle me until I confessed to his real gift, as if I’d ruin the surprise I started planning before he even moved to Chicago. Instead, I yelled out every ridiculous thing that came to mind until I was so hot and horny from his hands on my body that I might’ve spilled the secret if he hadn’t fucked me.

  We had brunch at his favorite diner before we hit the small, independently owned stores near my house. We would go to the mall or the large chain stores if we needed to, but I wanted to support the small guys whenever I could. We split up for a bit so that we could shop separately then met for coffee and pastries at the café beside our favorite bodega.

  “I don’t see any bags in your hands,” Linc said then offered a cute little pout.

  “Couldn’t find any socks and undies in your size,” I quipped.

  “Well, I’m pretty big,” he said in a low voice, making me squirm in my chair.

  “What about you? Any luck finding my perfect gift?”

  “Nope, so it’s a good thing you didn’t want anything,” Linc told me. I could tell by the ornery gleam in his eyes that he had found something for me. The owner was probably holding it for him to pick up later or shipping it to our house.

  “Just give me your love,” I repeated.

  “Again? Right here?” Linc leaned closer to say something, but stopped to pull his vibrating phone out of his jeans pocket. “Hello, Phee. How’s it going?” He listened intently to whatever his ex-wife said on the phone then the happiest smile split his face. “That’s so amazing, Phee. Congratulations to you both.”

  I knew then what she was calling to tell him. Ophelia and Jackson wasted no time getting married after they got engaged over the summer. Then they immediately started the IVF process. According to Phee, it wouldn’t happen quick. She had to undergo rigorous medical testing and take hormones for a few weeks before they would retrieve the eggs and fertilize them. Phee and Jackson were prepared for it to take a long time, but based on the sappy smile on Linc’s face, the couple had conceived after the first try.

  I was truly happy for them. Phee and I had grown very close, and Jackson was a good man. Still, I couldn’t help but feel the tiniest sting of jealousy because there was nothing I wanted more than to become a father. Linc glanced over at me like he could sense my internal struggle, but I wasn’t surprised. We’d always been in tune with one another.

  I wanted to recant my statement about what I wanted for Christmas. Yes, I wanted Linc to give me love, but I also wanted him to give me a baby to love. I somehow doubted that Linc made those arrangements while shopping.

  Instead of all of us flying to San Diego, Ophelia and Jackson came to Chicago to spend the holidays with us. I would’ve known by her glow that Phee was pregnant, even if she hadn’t told me a few weeks prior to her arrival. She was fortunate to avoid morning sickness when she carried Kennedy and Holden, so I hoped her luck carried over this time as well.

  The kids picked them up at the airport and brought them over for dinner after they checked in at the hotel. We would be spending so much time together that I thought it was silly for them not to take advantage of our nice guest room, but Phee was adamant that they would be intruding.

  “What’s the point of having a guest room if we don’t use it?” I told Phee as she helped me make dinner for the seven of us since Mystic went everywhere that Holden did.

  I’d initially thought their relationship would last a week or two, long enough for the excitement to wear off, but they seemed to be smitten with one another. Once Mystic relaxed around us, we got to see her true personality shine through, and we really liked her. She typically wore her long hair pulled back and kept her face free of makeup, which was much different than her supermodel persona.

  “People don’t have guest rooms because they want guests,” Phee said, tapping the spoon against the pan of meat sauce.

  “They don’t?” I asked. Her parents were frequent guests at our old house, and I never minded. “We do want guests, Phee.”

  “Regardless, I say you put that room to a better use.” She rolled her eyes when I continued to stare at her like she’d lost her mind.

  “Home office?” I asked. “Hey, a sex room!”

  “Nursery,” she said slowly, drawing the word out and enunciating carefully like she was talking to an idiot. “Do I need to write it down too?”

  “Since when did you get to be such a smartass?” I asked, but couldn’t keep the grin off my face.

  “When did you become so obtuse?” she rebutted. “Have you not seen the gleam of longing in your man’s eyes every time one of us mentions the baby?”

  “Of course, I’ve seen it,” I told her.

  “What are your intentions?” she asked, sounding just like her father did the first time I met him.

  “Well, I can’t get him pregnant, Phee, even if I weren’t shooting blanks after you had me neutered.”

  She slapped my arm, but then threw her head back and laughed. It had been a joke between us for a long time. “I didn’t have you neutered, moron.” She sobered after a few minutes and said, “Seriously, Linc. None of us are getting any younger. Do not wait to make your dreams come true and give him the family he’s dreamed of having with you. He crazy loves our kids, and they’re so lucky to have two wonderful stepfathers in their lives, but Rush
needs a baby.”

  “It’ll happen, Phee. I promise.” I kissed her cheek then said, “Even if I have to steal yours.”

  “Oh, you,” she said, swinging at me again. “I’m serious, Linc.”

  “I am too,” I told her. “Well, except for stealing your baby. I know how much Rush wants to be a father. It will happen.” I would move heaven and earth to see his dreams come true. “Starting over with a newborn isn’t something I would’ve entertained until I met him. I had my little minions and I didn’t need anything more.”

  “It’s a little scary,” Phee admitted. “It’s been so long since I’ve had to get up for midnight feedings and having to guess why they were crying. Is she hungry? Does he have a dirty diaper? Are they getting sick?”

  “It’ll be worth it to share that little miracle with Jackson,” I told her.

  “Just as it will be when you and Rush adopt a child.” Then she tipped her head to the side and smiled. “You won’t have to go six weeks without sex this time.”

  “Nope,” I said smugly. “Good luck with that.”

  “Asshole.”

  “Bitch.”

  “I told you not to call me by my first name,” Phee said sassily.

  “I’m so glad you’re spending the holiday with us,” I told her, hugging her tight. “I love our extended family.”

  “It sure makes it easier for our kids,” Phee agreed. “And I can’t imagine a holiday without you, and now Rush, either. It doesn’t matter if people think our dynamic is weird, because it works for us.” I knew Phee was thinking about her family. They hadn’t accepted my relationship with Rush as being healthy or a good influence for Kennedy and Holden. Phee only gave them one warning that she wouldn’t tolerate any bullshit from them, especially in front of our kids. Their relationship was strained at best. I should’ve felt a little guilty about it, but I didn’t. I was happier than I’d ever been in my life, and I wouldn’t regret it.

  “When are you seeing your mom?” Phee asked. “I hate to think of her being lonely.”

  I snorted. “I’ve never heard her sound so happy. She stays busy with her friends at the retirement village. I wanted her to come to Chicago and spend the holidays with all of us, but they’re putting on a Christmas musical and she plays the piano.” I smiled when I thought about the excitement in her voice when she told me that someone was recording it for me. “Rush and I are going back to Tennessee next week. We’ll get to celebrate the holidays with her, and perhaps put some old ghosts to bed.”

  “Is Rush going to attempt to see his family?” Phee asked.

  “I don’t know, but I’ll support whatever he decides. As far as I know, he considers Jules, Will, and Racheal to be his family. They’re joining us for Christmas Eve, by the way.”

  “The more the merrier,” Phee said, rubbing her stomach. “I’m starving, so let’s get this lasagna put together.”

  “There’s a plate of fruits and cheeses in the refrigerator. Take it to the living room so you can rest and have a snack.”

  “Sounds great, but do I have to share?” she asked with a cute pout.

  “Nope. You just holler if they try to take your snack. I’ll come out there and knock some heads together.”

  “I love you, Lincoln.”

  “I love you too, Phee.”

  When I joined the group after putting the lasagna in the oven, the snack was gone and they were deep into a game of Cards Against Humanity. Apparently, Rush’s turn hadn’t gone well because he hung his head like he was embarrassed.

  “Are they picking on you, baby?” I asked, sitting on the arm of his chair.

  “Yes, I’m totally shit at this game.” He turned his face up for a kiss.

  “I don’t believe it,” I said, kissing the slight pout from his lips.

  “It’s true,” Kennedy said. “I love you, Rush, but you suck at this game.” Rush smiled affectionately at my daughter.

  “Aww, I love you too, Kennedy.” It was obvious he chose to ignore the dig to focus on the adoration she expressed.

  “He’s not devious enough,” Holden suggested. “I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. Besides, he,” Holden pointed to me, “sucks at it too. You guys make a great pair.”

  “What about me?” Phee asked, batting her eyelashes playfully.

  “You’re as devious as they come,” Holden said without hesitation.

  “Hey, I want to win at all costs.”

  “We know,” Kennedy, Holden, and I said at once.

  I exchanged smiles with Kennedy and Holden, knowing that they too were remembering family game nights that ran longer than the three of us wanted. Phee had been in her element whipping our asses, so we went along with it.

  By the time dinner was ready, everyone was more than happy to throw down their cards and declare Phee the winner. Once everyone left, I was glad that no one took our offer to stay in the guest room. I just wanted to hold my man in my arms on the couch by the glow of the Christmas tree lights while staring at the dancing flames in the fireplace.

  “I’ve never been this happy in my entire life, Rush. Not even when we were first discovering each other,” I whispered into his hair. “I love you so much.”

  “Not even the first time I touched your dick? You were pretty damn happy.” Crack! “Hey,” he said rubbing his hand over his ass cheek that I’d just slapped. “How about the first time I let you put your dick in my mouth. I swallowed your happiness down my throat.”

  “I’m being serious, babe.”

  Rush crossed his hands over my chest and propped his chin on them. “I know you are, Linc. I’m happier than I ever dreamed possible too. When I boarded that bus for Chicago twenty-six years ago, I never expected to feel whole again. How could I when big chunks of my soul were missing?”

  “They weren’t missing,” I whispered. “I held onto them for you, just as you did with the pieces of me you took on that bus with you.” I ran my finger along his smooth jawline. “Can I give you an early present?”

  “Does it involve nudity?” Rush asked, waggling his brows.

  “Not this time.”

  “Darn, but okay.” He sat up excitedly and waited for me to retrieve the gift from under the tree.

  “I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to get you for our first Christmas together until I saw this in a window display.”

  Rush took the box from my hands and slowly unwrapped it, like he was savoring the moment. Resources were limited when we were kids, and I was only able to buy his favorite candies or maybe some film for his camera. He cherished each gift I gave him, just as he did more than two decades later. Only this time, I was able to come up with something a little better than Reese’s Cups and film.

  Rush studied the long, rectangular jeweler’s box. I could tell he was trying to guess what was inside it. “Too big to be a necklace or any other type of jewelry.” Was he disappointed it wasn’t an engagement ring? I suddenly became nervous that my gift was frivolous and silly.

  “Open it already,” I said when he just stared down at it.

  “So impatient,” Rush said, but he lifted the lid off the box. He ran his finger over the soft, velvet pouch, feeling the shape of the items nestled inside.

  “Open it.”

  Rush laughed at my squirming then put me out of my misery by loosening the drawstrings. “Oh,” he said, pulling the gold pocket watch from the pouch. “Linc, it’s stunning.”

  “Open it,” I said again.

  Rush opened the watch and read the inscription out loud. “Time after time, everything comes full circle to us.”

  “I wanted to give you something that would act as a reminder, not for the time we lost, but for every precious second we have now. When you look at your watch, you’ll know that everything I own, and all that I am, belongs to you. I can give you my love, I can give you my name, but the most precious gift I can give you is my time. It’s all yours, baby.”

  Rush took a shaky breath as he ran his finger over the inscri
ption. Then he looked at me with tears shimmering in his eyes. “I should’ve gotten you something nicer than socks and underwear.” I knew cracking jokes was his way of getting his emotions under control. “It’s so beautiful and thoughtful, Linc. I love it.” He gently set it back inside the box and leaned forward for a kiss. “I’ll cherish it forever. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” I said going in for another quick kiss. “Now it’s my turn!” I clapped my hands excitedly. “There are no gifts from you under the tree, so where are you hiding my socks and underwear?”

  Rush gently set the box on the coffee table and rose to his feet. “Okay, maybe I got you something a little nicer than socks and underwear. I’ve had to stash it away because I didn’t want you snooping. Follow me.” Rush led me downstairs to his office and pulled a large wrapped box out of the closet. It was at least four feet tall and just as long, but only six inches wide. It had to be artwork or a really large photo. “I hope you like it.”

  “Is it a naked portrait of you to hang in our bedroom?” I asked, waggling my brows.

  “I don’t think the artist would’ve appreciated that very much,” Rush said wryly.

  “You hired Holden to paint something for me?” I asked, resting my hands on top of the box. Who else would find it awkward to paint my nude, sexy-as-fuck boyfriend? “He agreed? He’s so damn shy about sharing his work that I question what the hell he plans to do with his degree.”

  “Linc, open it.”

  I wasn’t as patient as Rush, so I had the wrapping paper off and the box open in no time. I knew I would love whatever the gift was because Rush chose it and Holden created it. Still, I wasn’t prepared for either the thoughtfulness of the gift or my son’s talent as he captured my life with Rush—both past and present.

  “I gave him a few of my favorite photos from when we were kids along with the ones we goofily recreated with the Polaroid camera you gave me when I visited you in San Diego the first time,” Rush said softly. “Your son is remarkably gifted, so in response to your remark a minute ago, he can probably do anything he wants after he graduates.”