Nurture

by Susan X Meagher

  Jordan stroked her back. "It's gonna take longer than that, honey. Having two windows isn't always the perk you'd think it'd be. They're single pane, and I swear I can feel the wind whistle through the part where they meet."

  Mia looked up at the cheap, metal windows, seeing frost covering the bottom half of each. "It's gonna take some time to get used to the weather. I've been skiing a lot, but I've never lived anywhere cold."

  "I thought I knew what cold weather was, but I didn't," Jordan said. "It gets kinda mind-numbing after a while. Hard to believe my ancestors came from Sweden, 'cause I don't have the cold weather gene."

  "Sleeping together will make everything better," Mia said, curling her body around her lover even tighter. "Being with you always does."

  Jordan tilted her head; she seemed fully content to merely gaze into Mia's dark brown eyes. Her lips parted, then closed, and she blinked repeatedly. Mia saw that her eyes were dewy, and knew that Jordan was having a hard time putting her feelings into words. But with Jordan, she didn't need to hear words. She could almost feel the emotion that coursed through her lover's body, and she knew how much it meant to Jordan for them to finally be together.

  Mia tightened her grip and held Jordan so closely that she forced some of the air from her lungs. She ran her hands all over her back, probing the thin layer of flesh that covered her lover's lean body. After a long while, Mia's hands were finally warm, and she slipped a hand under Jordan's sweater, just enough of a chill left on her skin to make the blonde flinch. "Mmm … I love to watch you twitch," Mia whispered. She heard someone walking down the hall, then heard voices coming from the next room.

  "Hi," one voice said. "Where've you been?"

  A voice with a heavy eastern European accent said, "To the movies."

  "What did you see? Anything good?"

  Mia sat up and stared at her lover, whispering, "What are the walls made of-tissue paper?"

  Looking embarrassed and abashed, Jordan said, "I usually have my TV on for background noise. I mean … I knew I could hear 'em, but I guess I didn't really …" She shrugged helplessly. "I sleep really soundly because I'm so tired, and they usually go to sleep pretty early, so it hasn't been a problem. I can … I can …"

  Mia pressed a finger to her lips. "It's okay," she soothed, angry with herself for showing her alarm. "We'll just put on some quiet music."

  "I don't have …" Jordan looked around the tiny room, apparently looking for a stereo system that didn't exist. "I use my MP3 player."

  "We'll get one," Mia said. "I can bring mine from Berkeley or buy a radio."

  Jordan looked crestfallen. "I didn't think ahead. I should have figured out how hard this would be."

  "Don't worry about it." Mia rubbed her partner gently, her cold hand causing a riot of goosebumps. "We're together. That's what matters. That's all that matters, right?"

  With her head tilted down, Jordan looked at Mia through her fair lashes. Her eyes were hooded, and she looked like she expected to be scolded. "Yeah, I guess."

  Mia grasped her chin with her fingers. "It's all that matters. To me at least. Isn't being together enough for you?"

  "Yes, yes! Of course it is! I'm just so sorry that this place sucks so badly. You're used to your great house. And lots of privacy and your own bathroom and nice furniture."

  "None of that matters," Mia said. "Being with you is all that's important to me. If you don't believe that, we're gonna have problems."

  "We are?"

  "Yes. This won't work if you're walking around apologizing all of the time. I want you to understand that I want to be here. I need to be here. Not to be in Colorado Springs and not to be in a nice apartment. I need to be here because of you. Only you. And if you're here-I'm happy."

  Jordan's face relaxed and she smiled-a hopeful, albeit tentative, smile. "I'm happy with you, too. Very, very happy."

  Mia gave her a pinch, then jumped out of bed and ran to her suitcase. "I'm happy, but I'm freezing!" She rummaged through her bag and found a baby blue fleece hoodie and a matching pair of pants. She jumped into the clothes, nearly shrieking when the ice-cold zipper hit her bare chest. She added some thick socks and ran back to bed, letting Jordan rub her body to warm her up again. "Why do you only have one blanket?" she asked through chattering teeth.

  "Well, I only own one, and I haven't wanted to buy another."

  "Why? It must be sixty degrees in here."

  "I know, but if I'm really warm, it'll be that much harder to get up in the morning. Now there isn't much difference between being in bed and getting up."

  Mia kissed her partner, their cold lips meeting long enough to begin to warm. "You are one nutty girl."

  Jordan laughed. "You get up at 5:30 and tell me how easy it is."

  "Thank God tomorrow's Sunday."

  "Uhm … I have to train in the morning. Sunday's my light weight-training day." Her words came out in a rush. "But I'll be finished early, and we'll have the rest of the day together."

  Mia looked at her watch. "What time do you have to get up?"

  "Uhm … 5:30 … every day. The coach likes us to stay on a regular schedule. We stay on it in the States, even when we travel. So when we're on the east coast, we get up at 7:30. Of course that means 4:30 on the west coast, which kinda sucks."

  Mia gave her a smile that took more than a little effort to fabricate. "I'll get up with you so we're on the same schedule."

  "Oh, not tomorrow. You sleep late. I know you're tired after that long drive. Besides, there's nothing for you to do at that time of the morning. I couldn't stay awake if I wasn't lifting weights."

  "Can I go with you?"

  Jordan shook her head. "No, I don't think so. There's a strict rule against having anyone watch us. The coaches are always worried about someone stealing our training program."

  "Yeah, that's what I'm all about," Mia said. "All I want to do is watch."

  "I'll ask," Jordan said, "but I wouldn't get my hopes up."

  Mia hugged her hard. "Get your hopes up for what we're gonna do when you get home tomorrow afternoon." She pinched Jordan's firm ass, then filled her hand with the flesh.

  "Not now?" the blonde asked, looking disappointed.

  "It's ten o'clock," Mia said, amazed by her own words. "Time for you to sleep."

  Jordan grinned at her. "I hate to agree, but this is late for me. I'm usually in bed by 9:00 and asleep by 9:30."

  "9:30 it is," Mia said, forcing a smile. She kissed her lover, spending a few minutes luxuriating in her embrace. All too soon she pulled away and kissed Jordan's forehead, then turned on her side and squirmed around until her butt was firmly pressed against Jordan's abdomen. Long, thin but muscular arms enfolded her, and for the first time in a long while, Mia felt safe and secure. Chilly on the outside, but warm as toast in her heart.

  After a full day at Disneyland, Jamie stayed in their room, putting the finishing touches on her article. When she was finished, she brought up her e-mail program and sent it to her father. Her stomach was in knots, but she knew that delaying wouldn't make it any easier. She checked her watch, seeing that it was almost 11:00 p.m. in Washington. I hope he reads it and calls me right away. She considered calling him to let him know she'd sent it, but thought better of that. I've just got to wait it out.

  Ryan and Jennie were having dinner with the team, and Jamie wasn't sure where they'd gone, so she called room service and ordered a hamburger. She tried to watch TV, but she couldn't focus on anything long enough to be distracted. She considered calling room service back and adding a drink to her order, but she'd promised herself she wasn't going to use alcohol to get through emotionally tough periods. So she did her best to focus on a documentary on PBS, wishing with all of her might that her father would read the article and call her soon.

  A little after eleven o'clock, Ally Webster slid her key into the lock of an apartment in the marina district. "I'm at your home," she called out, smiling when she saw Sara sitting on the sofa watching a movie. Sara
climbed over the back of the piece to get to her lover quicker, making Ally's smile grow. "Somebody looks happy to see me."

  Sara wrapped her arms around Ally's waist and hugged her close. Few things made her happier than feeling her lover's strong, sturdy frame press against her own body. "I missed you a lot. I wish we didn't both have to work on Saturday."

  "I wish I didn't have so many clients on Saturday night," Ally said. "I'd move 'em, but they're all long-timers, and they travel a lot for business. Saturday is one day they're always home."

  "Don't be silly," Sara said. She stood on her tiptoes and puckered up, waiting for Ally to dip her head and kiss her. As always, she was rewarded with a kiss that made waiting more than worthwhile. "You have to structure your schedule to make your clients happy. That's just business. Besides, it's nice to sleep late and go into the office in the afternoon. Everyone's leaving just when I get there. I get a lot more done."

  "You keep working hard so you strike it rich and start supporting me," Ally said.

  She'd said things like this before, but Sara had always assumed she was kidding. She wasn't so sure this time. She put her hand on Ally's chest and looked into her eyes. "If you mean that, you can quit tomorrow. I'll give this place up and move into your apartment. With just one place, we could easily live on my salary."

  Ally grasped the tip of her nose and tugged on it. "I don't think I'd be a very good wife. But I'd like to start thinking of getting a place big enough to live together."

  "Really?"

  Sara's face bore such infectious enthusiasm that Ally's smile reflexively grew wider. "Yeah, really."

  Tightening her hold, Sara rubbed her cheek against Ally's breast, nuzzling against her. "That would make me so happy."

  "Then we'll do it. Let's check around and see if we can find a nice two-bedroom. Then you could have an office."

  "Mmm … that'd be nice."

  "But right now, I'd like to get in bed and kiss you for a while. Up for that?"

  Sara took Ally by the hand and led her to the bedroom, not even stopping to turn off the television.

  They lay together in Sara's bed, their limbs so entwined they looked like a puzzle. Ally wore a tank top and panties, Sara just a satin camisole. As they usually did, they spent a while talking about their days and kissing, seeing if their caresses led to sex or sleep.

  Ally still wasn't happy with her progress in therapy, but Sara was so relentlessly enthusiastic about their sex life that it was hard for Ally to complain.

  Sara was tracing the pattern the lamplight made on Ally's bare arm. "Talked to my mom today," she said.

  "Yeah? Did that go okay?" Ally tried to get a read on Sara's mood. Sometimes a conversation with her mother could upset her for a full day.

  "It was fine. We didn't talk about my dad, and that always makes things easier."

  "What's going on with her? Was she just checking in?"

  "Uh-huh. I think so. She said she had tea with Ryan's dad and aunt the other day. She's happy about getting back into their good graces."

  "Mmm." Ally had her own feelings about Mrs. Andrews and the way things had played out with Sara and Ryan's relationship, but she thought she'd better keep them to herself.

  "She got the impression that Ryan's not doing very well."

  Ally sat up a little. "In what way?"

  "Emotionally. Maeve said that Ryan still isn't herself since the carjacking. She says Jamie seems all right, but Ryan hasn't bounced back the way they thought she would."

  "I should call her," Ally said. Both women were a little tentative about discussing Ryan, but Ally thought it was time to try and get past the awkwardness.

  "Yeah, you should," Sara said. "I think she feels more comfortable with you. Maybe I'll call Jamie."

  "I think Jamie feels more comfortable with you," Ally said, smiling.

  "It's hard to tell about Jamie. I like her. I mean, who wouldn't like Jamie?"

  Ally nodded, waiting for Sara to continue.

  "But she's not transparent like Ryan is. You can always tell what Ryan's thinking, but Jamie … Jamie's hard to read. She's good at being polite and friendly, but I can't tell if she really wants to be friends or if she's just being nice because Ryan wants her to be."

  "Yeah, I know what you mean. I haven't been around her much, but I never would have picked her for Ryan. She just doesn't seem like her type."

  Sara sat up. "I don't think so, either! I didn't know you felt that way!"

  "I don't think we've ever talked about it. Ryan's been a loaded topic."

  "Yeah. But she doesn't have to be. She's in my past, Ally. I swear."

  Ally patted her side and moved closer to kiss her. "I know," she whispered when they parted. "I know you don't think of me as second-best."

  "Unh-uh." Sara's eyes grew smoky with desire. "You're my number one choice. And there's no second place. It's you, you and you."

  Despite her awakening libido, Ally was intrigued and couldn't let the issue drop. "Why do you think Jamie's not the one for Ryan?"

  "Ryan seems so much more jaded than she used to be," Sara said, obviously having given the matter some thought. "She's not the sweet, innocent soul I knew. I mean, she's still kinder than just about anyone on the planet, but she's … she's got more of a shell. She's not as open. I think she might be that way because of Jamie. I remember the first time I met her," she said, not going into the details of having Jamie almost catch her kissing Ryan, "and I felt like Ryan was almost afraid of her reaction. That's not the Ryan I knew."

  "Huh." Ally was quiet for a minute. "That's not my impression. I feel like Ryan's putting on an act when she's with Jamie. Like she's trying to be more civilized."

  "Civilized?"

  "Yeah. The Ryan I knew was a wild thing. She liked riding her bike and having sex and wrestling and having punch fests. She was kinda like a pretty younger brother." She laughed, deciding not to tell Sara about the other side of Ryan-the soft, subservient side that loved to be topped.

  Sara looked at her like she was mad. "Ryan was never like that!"

  "Sure she was," Ally said. "We used to arm wrestle and leg wrestle and see who could hold out longer when we punched each other in the belly."

  "Ryan?"

  "Yes, Ryan. She dated everybody I knew, and I knew a lot of women. She liked fast women, fast cars and fast motorcycles. She never drank around me, but she had a reputation at the gym for being able to drink anybody under the table."

  "Ryan. Ryan O'Flaherty?" Sara's eyes were wide, and she was clearly having a hard time believing her partner.

  "Tall, black hair, blue eyes. Gorgeous. Ryan O'Flaherty. The Rock."

  "You called her The Rock?"

  "Most people called her Rock or "O." Not many people called her Ryan."

  Sara smiled. "I used to call her Siobhan."

  "No one ever … ever called her that," Ally said, laughing.

  Sara cuddled up against her lover and lay quietly for a few moments. "Are you sure we knew the same person?"

  "Yeah. But we knew her at different times ... under different circumstances. I guess she has other personas, like most of us do."

  "Do you have a different side?" Sara asked, looking deeply into Ally's eyes.

  "Sure, I do. I was different with Ryan than I am with you. I didn't let her in very often. We were pretty topical with each other."

  "When you weren't punching each other," Sara said, unable to conceive of having a punch fest with Ally.

  "We were competitive," Ally said. "We just hung out. It wasn't very deep."

  Sara untangled her legs and rolled partially on top of Ally, feeling her chest move up and down under her. "You're deep with me."

  "I love you. I trust you. I feel vulnerable with you."

  Sara kissed her, then threaded her fingers through her soft hair. "I feel vulnerable with you, too. I love to have your body pressing mine into the bed, feeling all of those muscles." She ran her hands all over Ally's body, letting her fingers slide under her
tank top to trace the dips and curves of her flesh.

  Ally flipped her lover onto her belly and started at her neck, kissing her tender skin with serious intent. It was clear that sex was going to win the battle tonight.

  Part Eight

  Mia woke with a start on Sunday morning when Jordan's shrill alarm rang at 5:30, but after a few gentle kisses and a nice back scratch she settled down again and went back to sleep. Hours later she woke, visited the bathroom, then wandered around the apartment, pleased by the lack of noise. Jordan and her roommates were obviously working out together, so she decided to enjoy a leisurely breakfast.

  Her investigation of the kitchen cabinets revealed only protein powder, nutritional supplements, powdered sports drink and vitamins. Hmm … the food has to be around here somewhere … But further exploration didn't reveal any food-just more performance enhancing drinks, potions and elixirs. My Jordy had better not be taking anything that hasn't been tested. I don't want her to turn into one of those women who starts looking like a guy.

  She wasn't in the mood to shower, so she put on her clothing from the day before and ran out to her car, shivering in the crisp twenty degree day. Jordan had assured her that the cold spell they were experiencing was very unusual for that time of year, but Mia wasn't sure she believed her. Having spent her whole life in California, she thought fifty degrees was time to pull out the down comforter. In her mind, if you needed a coat-it was damned cold.

  She was able to scrounge up a pack of Oreos, half of a Twix bar and a Diet Coke, although the Coke was half frozen. Running back towards the apartment, she stopped in her tracks when a man started to dart up the same staircase. Oh, fuck! I didn't lock the door! She was angry with herself for being careless, but also a little angry with Jordan for making her fear what was probably an ordinary guy going to his apartment.

  Since this was the first time she'd seen the place in daylight, she didn't know how many apartments the staircase served. There were three more sets of stairs, and she guessed there were about twelve apartments on the second floor. She did the math as she walked closer to the staircase, figuring that the case served three apartments. She heard the man quietly open and close a door. Damn, I can't tell if he used a key or not. It sure didn't take him long to open his-or my-door. Maybe he was watching me and ran upstairs when he thought I wasn't looking. She felt in the pockets of her coat and pants, hoping that her cell phone was there. What would you do? she asked herself once she determined it wasn't. Call the police to report a man walking up the stairs? I'm sure they'd send a dozen squad cars for that.