The Dead Rise (Book 1): Zombies and Chainsaws

by Evans, Mike

  Shaw bit on his knuckles he said, “How about a thousand bucks?”

  “Each?”

  “Hell no, not each, are you crazy? What man makes a thousand bucks a week in 1983? Christ did one of them there logs fall and hit you in the head? That grand is for the lot of you.”

  Jude laughed out loud at this, "Are you kidding me? Hell, that wouldn't be more than two fifty a man. You know what that is?"

  Shaw was trying to use some muscle he said, “Yeah that's what the offer is son. You think you can do better elsewhere?”

  “Would I be asking you if you're crazy if not?”

  "Well, what dollar amount do you think is good enough for you and your boys to go down and do the work?"

  "Well, I think we might just be too damn far apart to even say it, Shaw?"

  “But since I'm the one hiring you, why don't you go ahead and let me worry about being too much money or not too much money.”

  Already smiling and knowing the answer, he figured he may as well go ahead and start on the higher end of the scale to allow Shaw to feel as if he were haggling him down, Jude said, “I think about four grand would be just fine sir.”

  Shaw gripped at his heart, he said, “Jesus, are you trying to give me a heart attack son?”

  “Just trying to get a fair day’s pay.”

  "Well then you're delusional or you must have hit your head on something today because that is absurd. I already told you a grand a week per man was insane. Hell, you just asked for that again. I won't pay you a dollar over two grand. Now see here, if this one works out, next time I go to send boys out of town maybe it's going to be you. But if I can't afford you I won't be pushing this button to call you."

  Jude just smiled leaning against the phone booth. He said, "So I guess I just hang up this phone."

  “It doesn’t take a genius to run a chainsaw son.”

  “No, but it takes a man to do it, and it seems that is something you don’t have. I appreciate your time today sir. You keep me in mind if any other jobs come up though. You never know when I'm going to get a break in my busy schedule.”

  Shaw was holding the phone tight enough to white-knuckle his left hand. He said through clenched teeth.

  "Alright, alright, twenty-five hundred dollars but that's it, I ain't going to go no damn higher."

  Jude said, “Well then you have a right nice day sir.”

  “Man are you crazy - you're killing me! Okay, three grand. You want more than that you can drive down here and kiss my old wrinkled ass.”

  Jude smiled ear to ear thinking about three thousand dollars split four ways for one week's pay was one hell of a good week. He shook his head thinking he owed Ms. Jones a dozen roses and he was going to have them hand-picked and delivered by the owner himself.

  Shaw could feel the tension of the day rising up his back feeling like it was turning into cement in his shoulders. He said, "You just remember if you ain't done by Friday afternoon five hundred dollars are going to stay right in my damn pocket son. You pay your men how you want to, but you just remember being the boss man you need to be keeping a few extra for yourself in case of a rainy day. And if you don't finish then you don't get paid that bonus and I won't be any happier about paying you the three grand."

  Jude said, “So that’s a yes, I mean I don’t want you telling folk that I'm cheating you. If you ain't making any money on this you just let me know. We can settle things up right now, I'll leave you be and go back to my job.”

  Shaw said, "Well I might still be making a couple hundred dollars on it. I haven't done the exact math so I can't be positive, but we need to spread the wealth around right?"

  Jude said, “Well thank God you've got the faith keeping you honest Mr. Shaw. You are damn near an angel. And I thank you, and my family thanks you for that. We're going to finish up our days’ work and will be gone in the morning. Before day break tomorrow I might already have my first tree down sir.”

  “You boys just make sure you stay out of trouble there after you're done working. You do a damn good job. It’s not your reputation on the line it’s mine. If you fuck anything up - well don’t fuck it up!”

  Jude said, “Well I can't say I’m a real big fan of making mistakes so I just have to tell you to trust in me like I'm going to trust in you to come through.”

  “You boys drive safe on the way down there. That van I'm sending you down there in is almost brand new.”

  Jude smiled thinking the box van he was going to be driving probably did not have air conditioning, and was at least ten years old with 200,000 miles on it if he was lucky. Jude said, "I'll send Chuck over after work to pick up the van, just leave the keys in it okay?"

  "Oh, Christ you're working with Chuck?"

  Jude said, “He's a hell of a hard worker. Faithful, and strong. Like you said, it doesn't take a rocket scientist or a genius to do tree cutting.”

  "Just don't prove me wrong. I'll transfer you out to Sarah to get things arranged with her and then go finish up your work so you can be on your way. Good luck down there and if I didn't mention already don't fuck up." Shaw hit the mute button, cursing to himself thinking that he'd only make fifteen-hundred dollars for two phone calls which he thought he might just be able to live with. He started seeing dollar signs in his head already and thought if he could get ten more people to do that he'd have one hell of a summer.

  Jude set the phone down in its cradle trying to keep the balance his weak knees. The idea of three thousand dollars split an even four ways for one week’s stay away from home had his stomach rolling. He thought he might actually be up for a moment. He thought about it and quickly dialed his home phone number. The phone rang and Maria picked up, she said, “Grimes residence how can I help you?”

  Jude screamed into the phone, “Three thousand goddamn dollars can you believe that shit?”

  “Three thousand are you kidding me? To kill the ex-wife?”

  "No, believe it or not, all he wants us to do is cut down some trees in Missouri, and clean everything up."

  Maria said, “That's too bad I would help you dig the hole. For that kind of money I'd probably still be able to sleep at night.”

  “Being the keeper of my son that's a little bit creepy Maria, but I understand where you're coming from. Can you do me a huge favor?”

  “You mean besides not working and staying home with your only son, making sure the house doesn't burn down and paying all your bills ….”

  “You are irreplaceable. All I am asking you to do is pack my bags for a week. All I need is jeans, shirts you know the basics, and it might not be a bad idea if you pack me some toothpaste.”

  "That's the only thing you are going to think of for a whole week until you realize how good it is that you have me here to take care of you right?"

  "I am well aware of everything. I will be indebted to you for the rest of my life since your sister isn’t around. Now I got to go and finish getting my work done for the day so we can leave in the morning. There anything you need me to do before I come home?"

  "No, you just finish your job and try and be home early enough that you can see Patrick for a little bit before he goes to bed. I might let him stay up a little bit late and deal with the monster tomorrow. It will be worth it for him to get to see you for a bit since you are going to be gone longer than he is used to. Just remember one thing, Jude… "

  “Shoot?”

  “You don't forget about that five hundred dollar bonus and you finish it early. I don't care what he's going to pay you can use that extra money. If you do I suggest you boys kick your feet up for a few days and enjoy yourself, I say by that point you will have earned it.”

  "I don't think hanging out in podunk Missouri is the most exciting thought, Maria."

  "You know honestly I don't give a shit if you stay there or stop somewhere, but you try and get a rest. Maybe if you meet someone that raises your eyebrow you might want to bounce on some sheets."

  Jude cut her off, “Good God are yo
u trying to make me blush? What would your sister say if she heard you talking like that to her husband?”

  “Are you kidding me? When she died did you forget she was not a nun when you married her? She’d be telling you the exact same thing that you needed to get your little skinny ass out there and find someone new. Just because you lost your wife doesn’t mean you’re not still alive at least I assume you're still alive down there, not something I'm particularly interested in finding out but I'll take your word for it if you tell me it is.”

  Jude said, “I need to get back to work, thank you for embarrassing me and for getting my bags ready, I do appreciate it.”

  Maria smiled shaking her head she loved embarrassing Jude. Patrick snuck back into the kitchen pulling at her shirt. He said, “What's bouncing sheets Aunt Maria? You need to get them in the wash or something?”

  She said, “Yep you know it Patrick. Why don't we go get your dad’s sheets in the wash now so he can get some sleep tonight.”

  Patrick said, “I know I'm going to miss him. I don't understand why he has to go away for an entire week.”

  Maria ran her hand through his hair smiling and patting his shoulder. She said, “It's kind of hard to explain to a little kid sometimes, but just know your dad has nothing but the best interest out for you at all time. You are the most important thing to him and I can promise you that.”

  Patrick said, “But what about you?”

  "Well I'm sure your daddy does like me too, but there isn't anything more important to a man than his son. One day you're going to take over this business and you are going to be the boss. There's a good chance you’re going to have to leave your own kids at home so you can go out and help provide for them and your wife."

  Patrick held up his hands shaking them in a not in this lifetime manner. He said, “I'm not having kids, girls are gross. I ain't doing it, the only girl I know that I like is you. Every once in a while I wonder about that too.”

  When Maria bent down to give him the tickles he knew were coming, the little boy turned and sprinted off at a mad pace screaming hysterically and laughing all the way.

  Chapter Two

  Prep

  Jude woke up early and went to the kitchen deciding there was a reason he was the best boss in the world, and that wasn't just because he could afford to pay his men after a hard week's work. He stumbled in starting a generous pot of coffee and started pulling out all the thermoses he had. Jude knew between the four-hour drive and how early they were starting out there would be a good chance at least one of the boys with him would still be feeling the effects from the night before. He only hoped by the time they made it to town they’d be sobered up enough to get their work on so they could earn that bonus. He figured once they made it to town he would tell them about the bonus and help give them a little bit of initiative to get the job done.

  Maria came into the kitchen yawning and stretching. She said, “Good morning Jude. Are you all set to hit the road? Were you guys able to get all your gear packed up last night like you planned?”

  Jude was leaning on the kitchen counter in just a pair of Levis jeans. He said, “I just need to get my work boots and shirt and I figured I'd take some coffee for the boys. Nothing better than a little jolt of caffeine to get you going in the morning especially with a drive like this ahead of us.”

  "Wow, Jude you big spender you are going to give them coffee for a four-hour drive?"

  "Hey, it's not my job to feed them. They got stomachs they know when they're hungry how to fix the problem. It isn't necessarily all my fault that we have to get up at the ass-crack of dawn to head down south."

  "Jude are you above just asking, Maria, would you please cook some breakfast so the boys and I don't have to starve on the ride down to Missouri."

  Jude smiled, “You know Maria that is a right nice of you to offer. If you could do that, well I don't know how you could be any greater than you are but I’ll try to remind you of just how special you are.”

  She smiled pushing him out of the way and getting a small arsenal worth of food out of the fridge and cupboards, about enough to feed an army.

  Jude said, "Watch the sausage you know how Chuck is. Please don't put me through that for an entire four-hour ride; he won't roll the windows down just to be kind. I’ll be lucky if he'd roll the window down while he chain smokes on the way down there."

  “I thought he was trying to quit again?” Maria asked.

  "Son of a bitch said he tried the gum, but he said it tastes so damn bad he can't keep it in his mouth long enough to get the fix from it."

  "Well, it's amazing they can't do something as easy as putting the nicotine in there and then making it taste good. You just wait until the day comes when you can't smoke inside you're going to see all kinds of people quitting."

  Jude started laughing pretty hard he said, "There's never going to be a day where you can't smoke inside of a restaurant. Hell, people don't like going out spending money the way it is and then you tell them they can't have a cigarette after they finish their dinner? Hell, that's just absurd. Not going to happen, guaranteed. Shoot that’d be like going to a bar and not be able to light yourself up a smoke after you had your 2nd to 3rd beer it is un-American really."

  “Yeah you're probably right Jude but you never know. The government has done some weird things. You might even see a black man in the president's office.”

  “Next thing you're going to tell me is there will be a woman running for president at the same time.”

  Maria shrugged her shoulders and said, “You know what. It's damn hard to tell what is actually going to happen in the world.”

  Slowly realizing there was only one way for an argument to go with a hard headed woman like herself and he knew it would only lead to him being wrong. He said, “I'm going to go grab a quick shower, smooch the kid and then I'll be leaving. I don't plan on anybody coming here, I was going to pick everyone up. There is no sense in all those trucks parked outside for the week.”

  Maria snapped her fingers. She said, “Darn it you're telling me I don't get to see Chuck before he leaves for an entire week, oh my God I'm going to be heartbroken, heartbroken I say.”

  Jude stuck his head back in for a second. He said, “Oh what's that? You want me to give Chuck a call? I'm sure he'll give you a sweet goodbye kiss.”

  She laughed and said, “No that's okay thanks, I'm sure whatever it was he had last night for supper is still in his beard. Let's just pretend I never said anything and I won't give you any more flack before you leave.”

  Jude said, "So who's kidding who now? There ain't a chance in hell I'm going to leave without having a few of your quick thoughts come out."

  Jude came out fifteen minutes later clean shaven, with a fresh pair of jeans and a Grimes ‘Gonna get it done’ shirt on. He did a circle for her as she nodded approvingly. She said, “It’s probably the only time your face is going to see a razor in the next week isn't it?”

  He said, “Oh you never know, maybe I'll take you up on your advice to get something going on in the sheets down south. At least I don't have to worry about anybody following me home that way.”

  Maria said, "You just make sure you don't leave anything down there that might be calling you in ten months telling you there’s a package with blonde hair and blue eyes waiting for you."

  Jude held up his hands, he said, “No way is that going to happen. I love my son. I love him more than life itself. But let me just say, he is plenty. Especially with no help …” he stopped himself looking at Maria and he said, “I'm sorry Maria you are like a mother to him. You know that don't you?”

  She nodded her head she said, “Yes I know. But it isn't the same as having your own thing. Having a mom and dad is quite a lot different than having an Aunt Maria and daddy under the same roof together.”

  Jude pecked her on the cheek and then one on the forehead. He said, “I couldn't do this without you, and when I get that big ass bonus we're going to find some way to ce
lebrate. So while I'm gone this week make sure you are thinking about something amazing we could do with some of that money?”

  She didn't need any time to say anything, she said, “You're buying me a dishwasher and you're buying me a microwave. You know how much time it would save me with modern conveniences like that.”

  Because he knew something was going to be thrown in his direction after he spoke a word out of his mouth. He said, “Oh don't you worry about me looking for a new wife, because I think I can just barely afford you.” After saying that he turned and ran out the back of the house trying to balance everything in his hands.

  Jude started up the borrowed van from Shaw. Checking the gas gauge, he saw true to his word, Shaw actually was sending him off with a full tank. He was thankful now they had put in the extra hour last night and gotten all of the saws ready they would need for the coming week. He had every intention of kicking serious ass on that town, by the time he left they would all be happy the Grimes tree removal crew had come to their town.

  Jude drove through a quiet town, no one awake this early and the men from the night shift had not been released from work yet. He didn't feel bad for them; there was nothing wrong with good union pay. Although he knew strikes at the tractor factory had been discussed recently. Jude rolled to a stop going by Chuck's house. He did not have to wait long out front because regardless of how hard he hit the bottle the night before; Jude always knew he would be up and ready to work the next day regardless if he was sick hung over or on the brink of death. Chuck was already sitting on the front steps of a small house his head looking up to the stars and blowing smoke rings into the cool morning air. Jude waved and Chuck pushed up from the front step grabbing his loosely filled army duffle bag he had used during his time being enlisted with Jude.

  Chuck climbed in the passenger seat setting down his bag in the rear of the van, happy to know he wouldn't have to be sitting on the floor for a four-hour drive down to Missouri. He would hold his piss until the last minute possible if it meant not having to sit in the back with all of the gear. He knew it wasn't about comfort when it came to a company van, it was about how much you could get to somewhere and how quick you could do it and how many people you take with. Rows of seats just took up valuable space.