“Oh yes, I do.”
No, he didn’t. Not if he didn’t love her…not if he thought the kiss was “just stuff.” She opened her mouth to argue, but her father cut her off.
“Pardon me, Deputy. But I have a say—”
“Not anymore.” Matt tapped his own chest so hard she heard bone hitting bone. “This is my fight.”
“I won’t go,” she argued.
“Yes, you will,” Tobias insisted.
“But Papa—”
“You’ll do it for Toby.”
If she returned to Denver, she might never see Matt again. How did a woman choose between her child and the man she loved? Even as the question formed, she knew the answer. A mother protected her child. She ran in front of freight wagons, and she got on trains for Denver even if it meant leaving her heart behind. She turned to Matt. “My father’s right. When’s the next train?”
Dan answered. “Tomorrow at nine.”
“We’ll go then,” Tobias replied.
With her heart breaking, she focused on the tasks at hand. She needed to pack and say goodbye to Carrie. Sarah, too.
Matt let out a breath as if he’d been holding it. “The G.O. knows where you live. A night at a hotel would be wise.”
Tobias’s brow furrowed. “If we act out of the ordinary, they’ll know you’re on to them. We might be safer, but you’ll be in more trouble.”
Dan looked at Matt. “He’s right.”
“We’ll stay at Carrie’s,” Tobias said firmly.
Matt turned to the window. “I don’t like it. Things have a way of getting out of control.”
“It’s the best choice,” Tobias argued. “We’ll stick to the plan and trust God for protection.”
Matt looked back at Tobias with a sneer. “Trust whoever you want, Reverend. I’m trusting my instincts. I’ll stand guard tonight.”
Tobias nodded. “Fair enough.”
Pearl saw a problem. “What about Sarah?”
“She can stay with Mrs. Holcombe.”
“I need to say goodbye,” she said softly. “If I just disappear, she’ll be hurt.” Sarah would recall her mother leaving the same way. Tonight would leave another mark on her tender heart.
Matt looked as if he’d been kicked. “You can say goodbye at Carrie’s. I’ll take her to Mrs. Holcombe’s, then come back.”
Pearl dreaded saying goodbye to Sarah. She’d do it gently, but how did a woman gently break a child’s heart? Pearl couldn’t change the facts, but she’d try to soften the loss. “I’ll be careful with her,” she said to Matt. “I promise.”
“Thank you.” His eyes held gratitude and something more…something sharp and painful. She didn’t want to leave him, but the Golden Order had given her no choice.
Her father watched her thoughtfully, then spoke to Dan. “Would you take Pearl to Carrie’s? I’d like a word with Matt.”
“Sure.”
“I’ll wait with you,” she protested. Her father knew how she felt about Matt. She didn’t want him interfering.
Matt indicated the door. “Go on now. Your father and I have business.”
When the men traded a look, Pearl knew they had a secret. She didn’t like it, but nothing would break her father’s will and Matt had the same stubbornness. When she looked at Matt, his eyes were as bitter as ever. Tomorrow she’d be on that train to Denver. There would be no tender goodbyes, only the memory of a kiss and a drawer full of ribbons. With her heart aching, she headed for the door.
As soon as Pearl left with Dan, Matt faced Tobias. For one crazy moment, he’d wondered if the old man was going to give him another Bible lesson. Tobias sincerely believed God would be watching over them, but Matt knew otherwise. He’d be watching. God would be sleeping like he’d slept that night in Virginia. “What’s on your mind?”
“They want you dead, Matt.”
“Figures.” He’d asked a lot of questions and pushed some high-powered people. Chester Gates and Howard Moreland had been among them. “How do you know?”
“Martin’s having second thoughts.” Tobias described how he’d run into the rancher and they’d had a chat. Martin didn’t mind hanging a horse thief, but he’d balked at taking down a lawman for doing his job. “The man’s got blood on his hands and he knows it. Under the right circumstances, I believe he’ll turn on the others.”
“Would he testify in court?”
“Possibly,” Tobias replied. “Moreland’s the one who’s leading the push to see you dead.”
“I talked to him last week.” Matt had seen craziness in the rancher’s eyes, the kind of rage that fed on violence. “The man’s got a mean streak.”
“So does Jasper.” Tobias grimaced. “He said terrible things about those women who hassled him about the mirror. Why he turned so hard against you, I don’t know.”
“He’s got a secret.” Matt stared at the dying embers. “I know what it is, and I let him know it. What about Gates?”
“He goes along with Jasper.”
“And Armond?”
“He got robbed again. He says you should’ve stopped it.”
“I wish I could have.” Matt wished a lot of things. He wished Amos McGuckin was still alive, and that Pearl hadn’t been attacked. If he were God, she wouldn’t be in danger. “I’m sorry for what happened to Pearl today. It’s best that she leave. You, too.”
“I didn’t go into this blind,” Tobias replied. “I knew it was dangerous, possibly for both of us. I have no regrets, but I do have a question.”
“What is it?”
“I just walked in on you and my daughter alone in a dark house. I’m not questioning your honor. I know the need that brought you here. I’m questioning your intentions.”
“Pearl and I have no future, sir.”
“She loves you, Matt.”
“She shouldn’t.”
“That’s not your call.”
Matt didn’t want to be having this conversation, but he respected Tobias. “I’d never do anything to hurt her, and that’s why I’m sending her away. Pearl and I…” He shook his head. “She’s too good for me.”
“We agree there,” Tobias said drily. “My wife deserved better than me, but I’m the man she chose.” He looked at Matt for a long time, giving him time to speak. Matt refused. If he opened his mouth, they’d be talking about psalms and night lunacy and men standing watch like he’d do tonight.
Tobias finally broke the tension. “We’ll be on the morning train, but I have another request.”
The old man had a lot of requirements. “What is it?”
“Be straight with her before we go.”
“That’s not wise, sir.”
“Why not?”
“It just isn’t.”
“You’re being stupid again. Prideful, too.”
Matt took the insult. He’d hurt Pearl and had it coming. Eager to be done with the conversation, he crossed the room and lifted his hat. “Let’s go.”
Tobias frowned. “We shouldn’t be seen together.”
“There’s more risk to you walking around alone,” Matt countered. “We’re headed to the livery. I have to get my horse.”
Side by side, they walked across town. The rain had stopped, but massive puddles mirrored the clouds in a way that made the world seem huge. Matt felt that weight on his shoulders. If he blinked, it would crush him. Tonight he’d stand watch. Tomorrow he’d make sure Pearl got on the train to Denver. Once Jasper and the Golden Order were brought to justice, he’d sleep. If the dreams didn’t come, he’d take Sarah and find Pearl. Until then, he’d stand guard. He’d be the watchman, sleepless and alone as he protected the people he loved.
Chapter Twenty-One
As Pearl walked up the porch steps with Dan, Carrie flung open the door. When she saw Pearl’s disheveled appearance, her eyes flared and she hurried across the porch. As they met, she gripped Pearl’s elbows. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” Pearl looked past her to the foyer. “I
s everyone gone?”
“Everyone except Sarah. She’s in the kitchen with Mrs. Dinwiddie.” Carrie turned to Dan with a question in her eyes. The sight of them sharing a meaningful look hit Pearl hard. Tonight Matt had sent her away. He had a good reason, but she yearned for a promise. I’ll find you in Denver. Did he love her? She’d thought so in the alley, but what did she know about men? Maybe the kiss really had been “just stuff” to him. Her heart told her otherwise, but it had been wrong before. Another first reaction…another mistake.
Damp and chilled, Pearl indicated the door. “Let’s go inside.”
The women turned and stepped into the foyer. Following them, Dan closed the door tight, then hung up his hat and slicker. Carrie led Pearl to the parlor where they sat on the divan. Dan stood by the window, watching the street with his arms folded across his chest.
Carrie took Pearl’s cold hand in her warm one. “I was worried to death. What happened?”
“I’ll tell you everything, but where’s Toby?”
“Asleep in his crib.”
Pearl wanted to hold him, but he needed his rest. Calm and confident, she described the trouble with Jasper and how Matt had found her in the alley. She wanted to tell her about the kiss, but not in front of Dan. She finished by telling Carrie about Tobias’s involvement with the Golden Order and the fear that the vigilante group would try to harm him. “That’s why we have to go back to Denver. We’re leaving on the morning train.”
“But you can’t,” Carrie cried. “I’ll miss you too much.”
“I’ll miss you, too.” Pearl loved her friends at Swan’s Nest, but she and Carrie were family. “I have to think of Toby. And you, too. As long as we’re under your roof, you’re in danger.”
The color drained from Carrie’s face. Instinctively, she turned to Dan. “Do you think they’ll come here?”
“Possibly.” His brown eyes filled with a protective gleam. “You won’t be alone, Carrie. I’ll be standing guard with Matt. All night if that’s what it takes.”
“Thank you, Dan.”
Carrie’s voice rang with the richness of love. Envy washed through Pearl in a wave. Not only did Carrie have the security of her own home, Pearl sensed that she’d soon have a husband to go with it.
Slightly flushed, Carrie turned back to Pearl. “I know you have to leave, but promise me you’ll come back.”
“Maybe for a visit.” Pearl glanced at Dan and saw him trading another look with Carrie. A second rush of envy sucked the air from Pearl’s lungs. She wanted Matt to look at her that way. Instead she had to say goodbye to his daughter. She was about to excuse herself when the silence turned awkward.
Dan spoke to Carrie. “I’m going to look around outside. We want to be sure the doors and windows are locked.”
When Carrie bit her lip, Pearl sensed Dan’s longing to comfort her. She would have left them alone, but he’d already turned to leave the parlor. Carrie’s eyes stayed on his back until he disappeared from view.
Hoping to lighten the grim mood, Pearl teased Carrie with a grin. “I may not come back to Cheyenne to live, but I’ll be here for your wedding.”
“Wedding!”
“I hope so.” Pearl had been hurt tonight, but she wanted Carrie to be happy. “Dan’s a good man.”
“So is Matt.” Carrie looked her square in the eye. “You didn’t tell me everything that happened in the alley, did you?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You’re different,” Carrie said quietly. “In spite of what Jasper did, you’re calm.”
She owed part of that new confidence to Matt. With Jasper she’d relived the attack. By kissing Matt, she’d taken back control of herself. She looked at Carrie with all the confidence she felt. “He kissed me.” Such simple words. Such powerful words. “Was it…nice?”
She knotted her hands in frustration. “I thought it was wonderful. He said it wasn’t anything. I don’t know what to think.”
“Me neither,” Carrie admitted.
Pearl knew her cousin had never been kissed, at least not more than a peck. The conversation had nowhere to go, so she stood. “I have to say goodbye to Sarah.”
Carrie pushed up from the divan and they shared a hug. Pearl went to the kitchen where she saw Mrs. Dinwiddie putting on her cloak. Sarah was seated at the table with a pencil and paper. She looked adorable in her pink dress, and her hair crowned her head in a perfect coronet complete with pink ribbons. If Pearl had done nothing else for this child, she’d taught Matt how to make a decent braid. She also realized she’d broken her promise to be at the tea party. She owed Sarah an explanation for missing the party as well as a goodbye.
A lump pushed into Pearl’s throat, but she managed a smile. “Are you practicing your letters?”
The child held up the sheet of paper. Pearl saw a backward S, but the A’s were flawless and so was the final H. She looked pleased. “This spells ‘Sarah.’”
“It sure does.” Pearl glanced at Mrs. Dinwiddie. “How was the party?”
“Exhausting! I’m looking forward to putting my feet up.” She smiled at Pearl. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
No, she wouldn’t. Pearl needed to say goodbye to the woman who’d been so kind to Toby. “I’ll walk out with you.”
Mrs. Dinwiddie gave her a curious look. “All right.”
Pearl turned to Sarah. “I’ll be right back, sweetie. Why don’t you write some more letters for me?”
“How do I write your name?”
Pearl took the pencil and wrote her name in upper case letters. As Sarah went to work, Pearl walked with Mrs. Dinwiddie to the porch. In the quiet and the dark, she told the cook that she and her father were leaving on the morning train to Denver. Mrs. Dinwiddie clearly wanted to ask why, but she settled for pulling Pearl into a hug. “I’m going to miss you, especially that boy of yours.”
“We’ll miss you, too.”
Holding Pearl by the arms, Mrs. Dinwiddie stepped back. “Are you sure you have to leave? Denver is just a train ride away, but it’s still far.”
“I’m sure.”
“Whatever’s chasing you away, I hope it stops.”
So did Pearl. As they hugged goodbye, a man cleared his throat. Expecting Dan, Pearl looked to the bottom of the steps. Instead of the deputy, she saw an adolescent boy holding her cloak and hat. Her stomach filled with nervous butterflies. “Miss Oliver?”
“Yes?”
“Mr. Kling asked me to deliver these to you.” He walked up the steps and handed the clothing to Pearl. “There’s a note in the pocket. He told me to tell you.”
How much had the boy heard? Did he know she and her father were leaving on the morning train? Would he tell Jasper? She couldn’t ask without raising suspicion. And the note… What did it say? She wanted to read it now, but she couldn’t see in the dark.
“Thank you,” she managed through her tight lips. She wished she had a coin for a tip, but her pockets were empty. Sensing the need, Mrs. Dinwiddie gave him a couple of pennies. He left and the women hugged goodbye again. Pearl watched Mrs. Dinwiddie disappear into the dark, then she went back to the kitchen where Sarah had a death grip on the stubby pencil.
The poor child looked tense and fearful, as if her life depended on spelling out Pearl’s name in the unfamiliar letters. Pearl sat at the table next to her, turned the paper and studied the crooked consonants and wobbly vowels.
“That’s perfect,” she said with a lump in her throat.
“It’s for you.”
“Thank you, Sarah.” She touched the girl’s perfect hair. “I’m sorry I missed the party. Something happened and I couldn’t come.”
“That’s okay.”
The acceptance cut Pearl to the bone. The disappointment in Sarah’s life had made her an accepting child. She took what love she could get and treasured it. Matt had given her that hope. In spite of his troubles, he was a good father.
Pearl dreaded the next words. “I have to tell you something else.”
<
br /> “What is it?”
“It’s sad.” Pearl cupped Sarah’s little hand in both of hers. Her fingers were sticky with cake from the party, and she thought of the birthdays they wouldn’t share. “My father and I have to go back to Denver.”
“That’s like Texas!” Sarah cried. “It’s far!”
“I know, sweetie.”
Sarah’s lips quivered. “Are you taking Toby with you?”
The question stabbed Pearl in the heart. Sarah’s mother had left her. Being abandoned colored the child’s every thought, her every reaction. Pearl couldn’t erase Sarah’s scar, but she refused to make it deeper. She held her hand even more securely. “Toby’s my son. I will never leave him. But sometimes bad things happen. People get sick or hurt, or they make mistakes like your mama did.”
The child’s lip quivered. “She didn’t like me.”
“Oh, sweetie.”
“That’s why she left.” Tears ran down Sarah’s cheeks. “She didn’t like my daddy, either.” She looked up hopefully. “Do you like my daddy?”
Pearl could hardly breathe. “I like him very much. He’s a good man, Sarah. He will always be there for you.” Except Pearl knew too well that life was full of uncertainty. What if Matt got sick? What if he died in the line of duty?
Sarah looked at her with too much hope. “I want a mama, too.”
“I know, sweetie.”
“I want you to be my mama.”
Love welled in Pearl’s heart, but she didn’t have the right to express it. I love you, too, Sarah. I’d be honored to be your mother. But Matt hadn’t chosen her. He’d sent her to Denver without a word of love or even the hope of a letter. Pearl made her voice neutral. “It’s up to your daddy to pick a mother for you.”
“He won’t.” She pouted. “He works all the time.”
In spite of her disappointment, Pearl ached for Matt. Until he wrestled with his need to forgive and be forgiven, he’d be bitter and Sarah would suffer. The poor child needed a mother as much as Pearl needed to be one, as much as Matt needed a wife. Pearl hurt for them all. “Finding the right mama isn’t easy.”
“It’s not hard, either.” Sarah sounded wise beyond her years. “He just has to marry you.”
Wyoming Lawman Page 20
