The hostess showed them to a booth at the rear of the bar. Em and David immediately got their heads together, giggling at nothing, like those in new relationships tended to do.
“Thanks for agreeing to come along,” Paul said, handing her a drinks menu. “Three is definitely a crowd.”
“No problem, although I can’t promise I’ll be much fun. This one has put paid to that.” She pointed at her protruding belly.
“How far along are you?”
“A little over five months.”
“It’s very brave of you to have a child alone.”
When Tally gave him a surprised look, his mouth twisted in a crooked smile. “David told me. I hope you don’t mind.”
“There was only one choice,” she said with a shrug. “I’m hardly a pioneer.”
“I still think you’re being incredibly courageous.”
Tally smiled. “Tell me about Canada,” she said, anxious to divert the subject from one that made her heart clench. “I’ve never been. What made you move there?”
Paul’s face lit up. “My girlfriend. Her company offered her a transfer to their head office in Vancouver. We both jumped at the chance of living abroad. That was five years ago now, and I can’t imagine ever moving back to England.”
“Five years, and she’s still your girlfriend. You’re a lucky man.”
Paul laughed. “I know. She says the same thing. I’ll propose one day, but for now, we’re doing just fine as we are. Why rock the boat?”
“Indeed. As long as you’re both happy, that’s all that matters.”
They ordered their drinks, Tally going with Em’s suggestion of a No Tai Mai Tai. When the waitress brought them over, she took a sip.
“Hmm, not bad.”
Despite her original reticence, Tally began to enjoy herself. Paul was great company and also madly in love with his girlfriend, which eliminated any awkwardness that might have been present. Even when the waitress asked him if he was looking forward to being a father, Paul was unfazed and played along beautifully. When the waitress moved away, the two of them burst into fits of laughter.
“Want to go?” Em said later that evening when Tally had yawned for the third time.
“Do you mind?” Tally said. “I don’t want to spoil anyone’s night, but I’m exhausted.”
“I can take Tally home if you two would rather stay out,” Paul said.
“Thanks for the offer,” Em said. “But I’m kind of knackered myself. Let’s go and have coffee at my place.”
As the four of them left the bar and spilled out onto the busy Mayfair street, Tally stumbled over the step. Paul managed to catch her before she fell.
“If you’re like this sober, I’d love to see you drunk.” He slipped an arm around her waist to support her.
Tally glanced up at him. “Thanks for tonight. You’ve almost made me forget my troubles.”
“I’ve had a great time. You’re a top girl, Tally. Don’t you forget that.”
“I’ll try not to,” she said, reaching up to kiss his cheek.
“Hurry up, Tal, Paul,” Em said. “David’s managed to get a taxi.”
“Coming,” Tally said as she and Paul began to make their way to the taxi idling by the kerb. As she waited for Em to climb in, she sensed someone staring at her. With prickling skin, she scanned the opposite side of the street, and then she saw him.
Cash.
18
Frozen to the spot, Cash bit back the surge of anger that raced through his veins as he watched the stranger put his hands on Natalia. Who the fuck was this jerk anyway? The way she’d gazed up at him told Cash they knew each other, and the fierce burn of jealousy in his throat tasted bitter, becoming infinitely worse when she stood on tiptoes and kissed him.
When Emmalee shouted at her, Tally looked away from the bastard Cash was having serious thoughts about beating to a pulp. She made her way to the waiting cab, her eyes met his, and she blanched.
Well, wasn’t that a fucking kick in the teeth.
He couldn’t tear his gaze away. Five months without seeing her was a lifetime, especially as he’d found it difficult to go twenty-four hours without her in the past. His memory of her had not done her justice. She was more beautiful than he remembered—peaches-and-cream skin, those stunning blue eyes that were always able to see right through him, and the chestnut hair that used to fall in waves over the pillow when they made love.
He didn’t know what made his gaze slip south. Maybe it was the way she dragged her eyes away from his, or the fearful look she wore as she did so. It didn’t really matter either way, because the minute he did, everything changed.
Shock coursed through him. Was he the father, or the guy she was with? He felt sick at the thought of her with another man, let alone falling pregnant by him. She hadn’t said a word, which meant it wasn’t his baby. Didn’t it?
She turned away and began to get into the cab. He’d better act fast, or she’d be gone. He sprinted across the street and managed to get a hand on the door before it was slammed shut.
“Natalia, wait,” he said, yanking the door back open.
Emmalee flashed him a look of surprise before her jaw clenched. “Go away, Cash,” she said, leaning across Natalia to try to close the door.
Cash tightened his grip. “Please. We need to talk.”
“You should have thought about that when you threw her out onto the street in the middle of winter,” Emmalee said.
Cash turned his gaze on her, and he must have hit the right level of acrimony, because Emmalee shrank back in her seat.
“When will you learn to keep your fucking nose out of my business,” he said.
“I don’t think there’s any need for that,” one of the guys butted in. The one who hadn’t touched his Natalia. The one who, up until that moment, might have kept his teeth.
Cash coiled his fists, having to draw on every single lesson Dr Bauer had painstakingly taught him over his long stay at the clinic. Natalia still hadn’t said a word. Her hands protectively cradled her belly, and she stared straight ahead.
He took a punt. “Were you ever going to tell me?” he said softly.
That made her turn her head. Her eyes glistened as she looked up at him. “I don’t know,” she said, her honesty catching him off guard.
So it was his. A thrill of excitement made his pulse jump. He’d never thought about being a father, but this was Natalia, the love of his life. And the soon-to-be mother of his child.
Cash held out his hand. “Please, baby,” he said in a placating tone, knowing he’d lost the right to call her that the minute he’d lied about not loving her. Then again, he didn’t like following rules. “We have a lot to talk about. I know I’ve treated you terribly, but I can explain.”
“Paul, close the door,” Emmalee said to the one who’d laid his hands on Natalia. His Natalia. Paul leaned over and grabbed the handle, but as he tried to yank the door shut, Cash shoved him hard in the shoulder, and he fell back against the seat.
“Stay out of this,” Cash growled. “It’s none of your business,”
“Enough,” Natalia said in a low tone. She stared straight ahead. “We’ll talk. But not now. I’m tired, and I want to go home.”
“Thank you,” Cash said, the relief at her acquiescence making his head spin. He didn’t know what he’d have done if she’d refused, but he was pretty sure hauling a pregnant woman out of a taxi was not acceptable, no matter how gently he would have gone about it.
She glanced up at him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I’ll call you.”
She reached out and pulled the door closed. He lost sight of the cab as it was swallowed up by the busy London streets. Cash stared into the distance and tried to deal with what he’d seen. In a split second, his life had changed again. Why had she progressed this far into her pregnancy without letting him know he was going to be a father? Did she hate him that much? If she couldn’t tell him something as important as this, he could only imag
ine how much he’d hurt her.
He had a lot of making up to do, but whatever it took, he’d do it. He still struggled to connect with the person he’d been before the accident, but this baby could be the catalyst that helped him reach the man inside. He missed that man more than he thought possible. But not as much as he missed her.
At least he’d passed another test that night. He’d managed not to break Paul’s nose for daring to lay a finger on his girl.
Dr Bauer would definitely call that progress.
19
Tally twisted the phone over and over in her hand and then cleaned the screen by rubbing it on her jeans. She needed to stop procrastinating, but plucking up the courage to call Cash was proving difficult, despite the fact that this time he’d be expecting her call.
He’d want to know why she hadn’t told him about the baby, and she didn’t know what to tell him. Pete’s warnings and Em’s insistence that Cash had a right to know seemed obvious now. Why had she stubbornly dug her heels in and refused to share the news with him? Was it to punish him? Had she chosen to keep impending fatherhood a secret as a way to get her own back? If she had, that would make her a terrible mother.
She sighed, tossed the phone on the table, and allowed her head to flop back against the sofa. She stared at the ceiling. He’d looked so good the night before that it had taken every bit of her willpower not to leap from the cab straight into his arms. The five-month gap since she’d seen him hadn’t dulled the intensity of her love for him one little bit. If anything, the enforced separation had honed it, sharpened the edges, causing her insides to churn with need. And all that despite how appallingly he’d treated her.
She gritted her teeth and picked up her phone once more. Her finger hovered over his name. Putting this off would not make it any easier in the long run. And knowing Cash, if she didn’t call, he’d track her down to Em’s new place, and she didn’t want him to know where she was living yet.
She pressed Dial.
“Hello.”
Her breath hitched, and her chest prickled. “Hi, it’s Tally.”
“Hi, sweetness.”
Tally ground her teeth. “Don’t call me that.”
“Sorry.” A pause. “Force of habit.” More silence. “Can I come and see you?”
“No,” she said firmly. “Why don’t we meet at the same place you were the other night?”
“Which night?”
“The night you were photographed pawing that woman.” A low blow, but she wanted him to hurt as much as she hurt. If she could wound him, maybe her pain would be a little easier to bear.
Cash hissed a breath. “Not every picture tells a story.”
“Do you have a trope of lines you trot out whenever the situation fits? I seem to remember you using that one before.”
“And I was proved innocent then too. Have you perhaps thought you may be a little too quick to believe everything you see or hear?”
Now it was Tally’s turn to suck in a breath. “This was a terrible idea. Nothing’s changed.”
“Wait,” Cash said as she pulled the phone from her ear, ready to hang up. “I’m sorry. Rail on me as much as you need to. I deserve it, and so much more. But give me one thing.”
“What?”
“Meet with me. Surely you owe me that, especially after keeping something as important as a baby from me.”
An ache started in her chest, rapidly growing outwards. She struggled to catch her breath. He was hitting back with his own low blows. “Fine,” she eventually managed to say.
“If you don’t want me to come to you, shall we meet at Rupe’s place?”
“Is he there?”
“Yes, but I promise it will be you and me. Alone.”
“I saw him,” she said in a low voice, sorrow prevalent in her tone.
“Yes, he mentioned it.”
“I was horrible to him. Will you apologise for me?”
Cash chuckled. “No need. He has a hide like a rhinoceros. You must at least remember that.”
Tally’s lips twitched. “Still, I treated him terribly.”
“If it makes you feel better, I’ll pass on your apologies.”
“It would. Thank you.”
The line went silent for a few seconds until Cash said, “So when are you coming?”
Tally let out a soft sigh. Delaying the inevitable would only make things worse. She glanced at her watch. “I can be there within the hour.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Tally paid the taxi driver and climbed out of the cab. She stood in front of Rupe’s place, so familiar and yet so strange at the same time. She smoothed her skirt and pulled her ponytail tight. The strap on her handbag had fallen from her shoulder. She shoved it back into place and rang the bell.
As prepared as she had been to face Cash, nothing quite primed her for the way her heart raced, her stomach clenched, and heat spread through her core the minute he opened the door. He looked good. Better than good. Time seemed meaningless as they stared at each other before he broke the spell by stepping back.
“Come in. It’s good to see you.”
“Thank you.” She sidled past, making sure she didn’t touch him, even though all she wanted to do was climb up his body and kiss him until the hurt disappeared. But she needed to remain aloof. It was her only leverage to maintain control.
“Go through to the kitchen. I’ve made some coffee,” he said, waving his hand to show her the way, even though she could find Rupe’s kitchen with her eyes shut. She tried not to think about her first time there, when Cash had pinned her up against the kitchen cupboards and kissed her. He’d been angry that day, his kiss meant to punish rather than pleasure, but that hadn’t stopped the thrill she’d felt as his mouth had touched hers for the first time.
“Good memories,” Cash said, correctly reading her mind.
She lifted her eyes to his. “Yes.”
He opened the fridge and took out some cream, poured a little into two mugs, and topped them up with freshly brewed coffee. The strong, chocolaty bitterness was pleasing to her nose as she sniffed deeply.
“You still love the smell, then?” Cash said, pushing a steaming mug towards her.
“Yes.”
“Good. I wondered, you know, whether…” He nodded at her stomach. “Whether hormones may have changed that.”
“Not that. But definitely some things.” She smiled a little. “Believe it or not, I can’t stand the taste of ice cream.”
Cash waggled his eyebrows in mock horror. “Surely not.”
Tally smiled at the warm laughter in his eyes. This was the Cash she loved, the man she knew. “See what you’ve done to me.”
His face crumpled, and the momentary lightness between them evaporated. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
The speed at which he cut to the chase caused a sickly feeling to grow in her gut. There was the question she’d been struggling to answer, both for herself and for Em and Pete when they’d pressed. And then, like an epiphany, it came to her.
She blinked slowly and then met his gaze. “You told me you didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t want you to feel trapped, like you had to be with me out of a sense of duty or pity.” She shrugged. “So I kept it from you.”
Cash sucked in a breath, making a hissing noise through his teeth. “God, I’m sorry.”
“For what? Falling out of love with me? It happens all the time. There’s not much you can do when the feeling has gone.”
He raised his hands to his face and scrubbed hard. When he dropped them, his shoulders sagged, and his eyes held so much pain and sorrow that Tally’s heart squeezed.
“I never stopped loving you.”
Her knees trembled, and she gripped the kitchen countertop as her world folded in on itself. He’d been so convincing, and yet… he’d been lying? “But you said—”
“Never mind what I said. I was so angry, out of control, bitter at the unfairness of it all. Of how a random accident had taken from me the
second most valuable thing in my life. When I threw that vase, I knew I had to make you go because if I didn’t, I couldn’t be sure the next thing I hit out with wouldn’t have been my fist.”
Tally gasped as Cash’s words sank in. “You were going to hit me?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head slowly. “I wasn’t seeing straight. I’ve never felt fury like that in my life. Uncontrolled, scary as shit. But I knew you. I knew if I couldn’t convince you I didn’t love you anymore, you’d stick around to the bitter end. If I’d laid a finger on you, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.” He gave her an agonised expression. “So I did the only thing I could think of.”
“Pushed me away,” Tally whispered.
“Yes.”
“Oh, Cash.” Tally shook her head, regret making her stomach knot. She lifted her hands in the air and then let them fall.
“I did it for you, for us.”
She closed her eyes briefly. “How’s your hand? Can you play yet?”
“Not quite, but my physio says I’m making good progress. Maybe in a few months, I will be well enough to get back on court, although whether I’ll ever reach the top again…” He let the words fade, as though speaking them aloud was too painful, too scary.
Tally narrowed her eyes. “Then what’s changed?”
“I spent a few months in Germany at a mental health clinic near Hamburg. Me, seeing a shrink. Can you imagine?” He gave a small smile and a slight shake of his head. “They taught me how to control the anger through various coping techniques. They convinced me that the way I feel isn’t my fault. It isn’t the same as my father—more like a symptom of the accident. I’m not unique in that, but Dr Bauer, the psychiatrist I’ve been seeing, thinks I’ve made pretty incredible progress.”
Tally rubbed her forehead. “So why didn’t you come to see me when you got back? Why was it only a chance meeting that I’m here at all?”
Grand Slam Page 10
