Cash swept a hand down the back of his head. “The meeting last night may have been chance, but I was coming to see you anyway. Ask Rupe if you don’t believe me. I carried out a little test, and once I was satisfied I’d passed, then I knew it was safe for you to be around me again.”
Tally frowned. “Test?”
Cash sipped his coffee. “I reached out to a woman I used to see quite a bit of before I met you. She was a… regular companion whenever I was in London, but I never did like to spend much time with her. She always got on my nerves.”
Tally winced as she figured out what “regular companion” actually meant. His fuck buddy.
“I knew if I wanted to make sure you were safe with me, I had to test my control on someone I was easily annoyed by. Suze was the best person I could think of. She’s a nice woman, but dear God, she’d test the patience of a fucking saint. When I managed to survive a whole evening without feeling the urge to punch her, I knew I was cured—at least enough to control my anger. That meant I could see you again. If I hadn’t bumped into you on the street last night, I would have come looking.”
“Did you sleep with her?” The words were out of Tally’s mouth before she could stop them. She dropped her head and steeled herself for an affirmative answer that would rip apart what was left of her ravaged heart.
“No.”
Her head snapped up. “Oh.”
“I haven’t been interested in other women since I first kissed you right here in Rupe’s kitchen. How could I? You ruined me for anyone else. After being with you, another woman would be like scoffing spam when you’re used to dining on caviar.”
A slow smile spread across Tally’s face. “That must be killing you.”
Cash raised an eyebrow, and then he grinned. “Never knew blue balls could be so painful. Especially as I lost you and my wanking hand at the same time.”
Tally giggled. “Only you, Cash.”
The smile drained from his eyes. “I’ve missed your laugh.”
Her gaze locked onto his. “I haven’t had much to laugh about lately.”
Cash put his cup of coffee on the kitchen island and moved closer. Raising his hand tentatively, he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Me either.”
“So what happens now?”
“I don’t know. One day at a time. I want to be there for you and the baby, but I’m not stupid. I know it’s a long road back for us.”
“What if we don’t get there?”
Cash flinched, his grey eyes dark and troubled. “I can’t think like that. I’ve said some terrible things that can’t be unsaid. Treated you so very badly.” His voice broke. “But if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
Tears welled in Tally’s eyes, but before they spilled over her lids, the baby gave an almighty kick. Her son or daughter certainly knew how to distract her at the most poignant of times. She put her hand over her belly, tears turning to smiles.
“The baby’s kicking. Want to feel?”
With a rapt look on his face, Cash nodded. Tally took hold of his hand and placed it on her stomach. The minute she did, the baby kicked again.
“Feel that?”
“Yeah. Wow.” His smile was broad, a delighted gleam in his eye. “Does it hurt?”
“No. It’s sort of like butterflies. Looks a bit weird, though, like a scene out of Alien.”
Cash laughed as he kept his hand in place, but the baby had stopped kicking.
“Show’s over,” Tally said. “At least for now.”
He immediately dropped his hand, choosing instead to hold his arm close to his body and rub his palm up and down his forearm. She’d never seen him look so insecure, so uncertain of what his next move should be. She took a step towards him and closed her hand over his, stilling him. She brushed her thumb against skin that was softer than she remembered. His eyes briefly met hers before he dropped his head and stared at where their hands were connected.
“I’m so sorry, baby.”
A rush of love raced through her body, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up straight. Whatever had gone before, she needed him. Wanted him. He was the only man for her.
She wrapped her hands around his neck and tucked her head under his chin. His arms snaked around her waist, and he held her close.
“Let’s look back only when it helps us move forward,” she said.
He cradled her cheek. The familiar, tender touch left her breathless, and she tilted her head back so she could look at him.
“You’re giving us a chance?” he asked.
“It’s not a choice. Not for me. I need you. This baby needs you. I still love you.”
He closed his eyes slowly, and when he opened them they were brimming with emotion. He began to cry, silent tears that mirrored the way she felt. Those salty tears were testament to the sadness and sorrow he must have carried around with him these past months while he fought a private battle—one he hadn’t dared allow her to be a part of.
She wiped away his tears as her own began to fall. He touched his forehead to hers, and they silently cried together.
20
Cash waved away the overattentive waiter and held out a chair for Natalia. He sat opposite her and picked up a menu. “I’ll order for us.”
Natalia smiled. “Nothing changes.”
“Oh, sorry. Do you want to choose?”
She rolled her eyes. “Cash, stop.”
He frowned. “Stop what?”
“Treading on eggshells. I want the old Cash back. That’s the one I fell in love with. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the grumpy Irish git.”
His lips twitched, even though he tried for a look of offence. “I was not grumpy.”
“Yes, you were. Grumpy and fierce and in control. And pretty damned wonderful.” She rested a hand on top of his. “Just be yourself, okay?”
“Careful what you wish for,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Fine, I’ll order, but is there anything my son or daughter has taken a dislike to?”
As he spoke the words, a wave of pride and exhilaration rushed through him. He was going to have a child with a woman who’d changed everything for him, despite him putting her through hell. Christ, he was a lucky bastard.
“Ice cream as I mentioned, which I’m really pissed off about, and asparagus.” She pulled a face. “Not so bothered about that.”
Cash laughed. “Okay, no asparagus. At least you can still eat crème brulée.”
“You remembered,” she said softly.
“Some things are too important to forget. Like this.” He reached around the back of his neck and unhooked the thin chain that held her engagement ring. “I know it’s way too soon to be thinking about this, but I wanted you to know I still had it. When I was at my lowest in Hamburg, this ring kept me going. One day, when the time is right, I want to give it back to you.”
“Oh, Cash.” Her eyes glistened as he refastened the chain around his neck.
“So tell me, what have you been doing these past few months?”
She sipped some water. “I spent some time in Greece.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Really? Whereabouts?”
“Safome.” She chuckled when he gave her a confused look. “It’s a small island not too far from Rhodes. I helped out in a café, feeding refugees.”
His forehead creased. “Jesus. After all this time, you still have the ability to surprise me. What made you come back?”
She glanced at her hand cradling her stomach. “This one. When I found out I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was come home.”
He nodded in understanding. “Why Greece?”
She chewed at the inside of her cheek, and he repressed a smile. Some habits never changed. “Because we’d never been there. I needed to be in a place that wouldn’t remind me of us.” She gave a glimmer of a smile. “Except it didn’t matter. In the end, I discovered you can’t escape yourself. I couldn’t get you out of here.” She tapped a fing
er against her chest. “Nor here,” she said, touching her temple.
Cash was hit with a wave of regret so strong his breath caught in his throat. “I wish I could have dealt with this differently—”
Natalia held up her hand. “Remember, we agreed to stop looking back on bad memories.”
Cash blinked slowly. He did not deserve this woman. She’d always been a better person than he was, and as a consequence, she made him a better man.
“Yes, we did,” he said, lifting her hand to his mouth. As his lips touched her soft skin, a blast of desire made his stomach clench. He withdrew, and as his gaze met hers, he saw his feelings mirrored in her eyes.
“How’s Rachael?” she said, breaking eye contact as she laid her napkin over her knees.
“Really good. She’s missed you. She gave me such a hard time in the beginning, nagged me to contact you, but you know how stubborn I am.”
Natalia raised her eyebrows. “You, stubborn? Surely not.”
Cash laughed. “To be fair, she can’t complain. I get it from her.”
“Does she know about the baby?”
He rubbed his fingertips over his lips. “Not yet. I wanted to make sure you were okay with me telling her.”
“Of course I am. She’s going to be a grandma.”
Cash paused as the waiter arrived with their food. “Not sure how she’ll feel about the title, but she’s going to be thrilled about the baby.”
Natalia picked up her fork and attacked her food with enthusiasm. Cash repressed a smile.
“Let’s call her soon.”
Cash nodded. “How did Pete take the news?”
“He’s been great,” she said, her mouth half-full. “Very supportive. So has Em.”
Cash blew out a breath. “I guess I’m persona non grata again.”
Natalia shook her head. “Actually, no. Neither of them agreed with my decision not to tell you I was pregnant. They’ve both had periods of nagging me about it. Em has been particularly vocal.”
“She looked pretty pissed off with me the other night in the taxi.”
“She went into mother-hen mode, that’s all. When we first split up, she was insistent I should go back to Ireland and talk to you, work it out.”
Cash grimaced. “I’m glad you didn’t. I had shit to work through, and the last thing I needed was to be even viler to you. I have enough guilt to deal with as it is.”
She wagged her finger. “Uh, uh, uh. Happy thoughts.”
He chuckled. “Yes, ma’am.”
They finished their meal, and Cash slipped an arm around her waist as they strolled back to the car. He helped her inside and reached across to clip her seatbelt into place. She giggled at the familiarity. Cash walked around the car and climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Let’s get you home. You must be tired.”
“I am, but before that, can you do me a favour?”
“Name it.”
“I want to see Rupe.”
Cash pulled up outside Rupe’s house and twisted around in his seat.
“I’m trying not to be jealous about your excitement at seeing my best friend.”
Tally gave a faint smile. “You know, one of the worst things about you and I splitting up was everyone else I lost at the same time as you. Your mum, Rupe, Anna. They’re family. I felt like half of me was missing.”
A flash of guilt crossed Cash’s face. “I never thought of it like that.”
She placed a hand on his arm. “I didn’t tell you to make you feel bad, but when I bumped into Rupe on the street last week, I was so terrified he’d see I was pregnant that I forgot to be thrilled he was there. All I could think about was getting away from him as quickly as possible. Now that I don’t have to hide anything, I’m eager to see him.”
“Then let’s go.”
He tucked her hand inside his and pushed open the door to Rupe’s place. Music blared from the living room, and Cash led her in that direction. Rupe was sitting in front of a roaring fire, a tumbler of whisky in his hand as he bobbed his head along to the music.
“Hey, stranger,” Tally said.
Rupe jumped. Clearly he hadn’t heard them come in. He set his drink down and leaped to his feet, his arms outstretched.
Tally threw herself into his embrace. “I’m so sorry about the other day,” she whispered in his ear.
He pulled back and studied her face. “No apologies. Although I am considering getting glasses. Completely missed you had a passenger on board.”
Tally laughed. “I hid it pretty well. One of the benefits of winter—big coats.” She turned to Cash. “Would you mind making me a coffee?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Trying to get rid of me?”
“Yes,” she said, waving her hand. “Now, scoot.”
When Cash disappeared into the hallway, she took Rupe’s hands and guided him to the sofa. “How have you been?”
“Terrible. I nearly swapped him for you.”
Regret swarmed through her. “I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch. I should have, but I was scared you’d tell Cash where I was, and I needed the clean break. It was the only way I could cope with losing him.”
“You had Emmalee well trained. That girl would stand up well to torture.”
Tally grinned. “She said exactly the same thing.”
“Where were you?”
“Greece.”
Rupe let out a low whistle. “Blimey. No wonder I didn’t bump into you in Waitrose. When did you get back?”
“In January. I hadn’t planned on coming home, but when I found out I was pregnant, I needed to be surrounded by familiar things.”
“Makes sense.”
She threw her head back. “Has he had it rough?”
Rupe nodded, concern etched in the line of his jaw. “Very. He hides it behind the usual Cash bluster, but he’s been to hell and back. Don’t underestimate the personal struggle he went through in Germany, Tal. The only thing that kept him going was the hope he’d one day be well enough to try to win you back, but at the same time, he was terrified you wouldn’t want him.”
She blew out a frustrated breath. “On the one hand, I know why he did it. On the other, I want to lamp him. We were getting married, and that means for better or worse, yet at the first sign of trouble, he pushed me away.”
“For your safety.”
Tally tilted her head to one side. “Do you think he would have been violent towards me?”
“No, I don’t,” Rupe said. “But it doesn’t matter what I think. Cash was convinced you weren’t safe around him, so he sacrificed his own happiness to protect you. That’s how much he loves you.”
She chewed the inside of her cheek. “How’s he coping without tennis?”
“Have you asked him?”
She folded her arms. “I’m asking you.”
Rupe picked up his whiskey, swirling the amber liquid around the heavy glass tumbler. “He’s not.”
“He said the physio is going well.”
“It is. At first he had no grip. Couldn’t hold a toothbrush, let alone a tennis racket, but he’s definitely getting the strength back. It’s a slow process, though, and you know Cash. Likes instant gratification.”
“I don’t want him hiding things from me.”
“He’s always been overprotective where you’re concerned. You need to push him. Don’t get me wrong—he’s been working hard, but his entire focus has been on getting you back. And now he has…” Rupe paused. “Right?”
Tally smiled. “Right.”
A look of relief swept across Rupe’s face. “Now he can put more energy into his tennis, but he’ll need lots of reassurance. His confidence is shot.”
“I’ll talk to him,” Tally said as Cash walked back into the room, holding two cups of coffee.
“My ears are burning,” he said, handing one over to her.
“You know what they say about eavesdroppers,” Rupe said. “They never hear anything good.”
21
; “I’m nervous.” Natalia worried her bottom lip with her teeth.
Cash pulled the car into a lay-by next to a woodland area. He reached over and gently tugged on her chin. “Stop chewing.”
“I can’t help it,” she said, choosing instead to nibble on her fingernails. “I’m still not sure we should be dropping it on your mum like this. We should have called first.”
“No, it’s better this way,” Cash said with a grin. “We’ll be able to see her face.”
“And what if she’s horrified? Or disappointed?”
“Or thrilled and elated. Seriously, you think for one minute she’s going to be anything other than excited about being a grandmother?”
“I don’t know.”
He unclipped his seat belt before doing the same to hers. “Let’s go for a walk. This stress can’t be good for the baby.”
They headed into the woodland on a well-worn path until they reached the lake in the middle. They’d visited this place a few times when they’d returned from Paris after his accident. Lilies floated on top of the water, and as they sat on a well-positioned bench that allowed them to take in the view, her shoulders relaxed, and she breathed out a soft sigh.
“Feeling better?” Cash said, weaving a lock of her hair through his fingers.
She nodded. “I love this place.”
The weak spring sunshine lit up her face, making her look more beautiful than ever, and Cash caught his breath. Acting on instinct, he cupped her neck with both hands and leaned in. He paused, half expecting her to pull away, but when she parted her lips, he kissed her.
He’d been starved of her for so long. Desire swept through him, and a groan eased from his throat. He moved away from her mouth and trailed kisses across her jaw. She moaned softly, and he captured her mouth once more, his tongue darting inside. Her arms tightened around him, and her fingers burrowed into his hair.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered as his lips locked onto her neck. “But your timing is shit.”
He pulled away and gave her a questioning look. “Why?”
She grinned. “Because all I want to do now is go back to your place and take you to bed.”
Grand Slam Page 11
