He smiled wickedly. “Mum doesn’t actually know we’re coming.”
She swept her tongue over her lips, making his pulse jump. “As tempting as that thought is, I need to get this over with. I’m not sure my blood pressure can take any further delays.”
He stood and helped her to her feet. “You worry too much. Come on, then. Let’s go. You’ll feel better when it’s done.”
Five minutes later, Cash parked in the driveway of his mum’s house, the same one she’d stayed in all those years she was in a coma after his father had beaten her half to death. After she regained consciousness, Cash had made several offers to move her somewhere else, but she’d refused. And she did seem genuinely happy there.
“Ready?” he said, threading his fingers through Natalia’s.
“No,” she replied, a glum expression on her face.
“Good,” he said, planting a quick kiss on her lips.
He let himself in and headed to the back of the house. Undoubtedly, Mum would be in the garden. Unless it was snowing or pouring with rain, that was where she spent most of her time. He spotted her tending to one of her many borders.
“Shhh,” he said to Natalia, raising a finger to his lips. “Stay out of sight.”
Natalia played along, standing off to the side behind the curtains as he opened the patio doors.
“Hey, Mum.”
Rachael spun around, her face lighting up. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in London.” She tugged off her gardening gloves, tossed them aside, and gave him a warm hug.
“I was. But then I got all homesick.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What’s going on?”
Cash laughed. “Can’t hide anything from you, Mother.” He glanced over his shoulder and called, “Come on out.”
Natalia appeared in the doorway, her footsteps tentative. Rachael froze, her eyes wide as her gaze swept from head to foot, lingering on Natalia’s belly, and then a cry fell from her lips. She ran across the garden and swept Natalia into her arms.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she said leaning back to give her the once-over. “How far along?”
“Twenty-three weeks.”
Rachael hugged her again. “Please tell me you two are back together.” When Natalia nodded, a tear slipped down her cheek.
Natalia met Cash’s gaze, and he smirked. “Told you,” he said.
“Told her what?” Rachael said, dabbing at her face with a tissue.
“She was worried you wouldn’t be happy about the baby.”
“Not happy? I’m absolutely thrilled.”
Cash placed his arm around Natalia’s shoulder and kissed her temple. “Can we stop stressing now?”
“I guess,” she said with an embarrassed smile.
“Right, let me make some tea,” Rachael said. “Tally, sit down. Cash can help me.”
Cash followed his mother into the house. “Subtle,” he said as soon as they were out of earshot.
Rachael switched the kettle on and turned to face him. “How did this happen?”
“Which bit?” Cash said, grinning. “Surely we don’t need to have a birds-and-bees conversation, Mother.”
Rachael rolled her eyes. “Very funny, Cash. You could have warned me.”
“It was more entertaining this way.”
“You are incorrigible,” she said, giving him a playful shove. “But I can’t tell you how happy I am for you both. Especially with what you’ve been through these last few months.”
“Yeah, it’s been rough.”
Rachael glanced out of the window, and Cash followed her gaze. Natalia was sitting in a garden chair, head tilted back to catch the warmth from the sun, eyes closed, and a look of pure contentment on her face.
“Don’t let her go again, Cash. I doubt you’ll win her back a third time.”
Cash switched off the engine and twisted in his seat. Even though his home was only ten minutes from his mother’s, Natalia had fallen asleep on the journey back. Her cheeks were flushed, her wrist bent as she rested her head on her hand. Loath to wake her but left with little choice, he grazed her cheek with his fingertips. She muttered something unintelligible under her breath before her eyes fluttered open.
“Hi,” he said.
She yawned, stretching her arms above her head. “I fell asleep.”
“You did.”
“I’m so exhausted these days.”
“That’s because you’re busy growing a human being inside you.” He unclipped her belt. “Come on, time for bed.”
She smiled a slow, lazy smile as she looked at him through half-opened lids. “Now you’re talking.”
Cash laughed. “To sleep. For you at least.”
“Spoilsport,” she said, but she didn’t complain when he gathered her in his arms and began walking upstairs.
He hovered outside one of the guest bedrooms on the first floor. Despite Natalia’s comment, it didn’t feel right to assume anything. He nudged the door open with his foot.
“What are you doing?” she said, cranking one eye open.
“Putting you to bed.”
“Not in there, you’re not.”
“Are you sure?”
Natalia huffed. “Look, you can stand here talking about it, but I’m pretty heavy, and you don’t want to put your back out.”
He laughed. “You are not heavy.”
“Cash, stop procrastinating. I don’t want to sleep in there alone. I want to sleep in our bed with you beside me.”
His breath hitched when she referred to our bed. He’d hated sleeping alone after they’d split last October. And now, once again, he’d be able to wake up next to her.
A soft sigh escaped her lips when he laid her down on their bed. Her eyes fell shut as he removed her shoes and socks. He dug his thumbs into the balls of her feet, the strength in his right thumb weaker than the left, but Natalia didn’t seem to notice as she sighed again, louder this time.
“You always were a master at massaging feet,” she murmured.
“Gotta be good at something.”
She opened her eyes and fixed him with a stare. “Stop it.”
He shrugged. “Get some rest. I’ll go and grab your suitcase from the car.”
He left before she could say anything else. He knew that look—the one that said she was about to go on a rant about his self-deprecating comment. The conversation about tennis was looming, and he was dreading it because he didn’t know how he would react. Despite his successful test with Suze, he hadn’t yet tested himself with Natalia.
By the time he returned with her case, she was fast asleep, still dressed in her jeans and T-shirt. She looked comfortable enough, so he simply unfastened the top button of her jeans, laid her pyjamas over the foot of the bed in case she woke, and quietly closed the door.
He lit the log burner, poured himself a glass of wine, and put on some music. Since the night he’d found out Natalia was pregnant with his child, he hadn’t spent any time alone. Now that he had time to think about what it would mean and how his life was going to change, the most perfect feeling he had ever known swept over him.
Having a baby meant it was time to grow up, and that included putting things right with those who meant the world to Natalia—Pete and Emmalee. He hadn’t had a chance to speak with them before he and Natalia had flown to Ireland, and he owed them a direct conversation.
He picked up his phone and called Pete first and then Emmalee. Humbled by their kindness and understanding after he fully explained himself, he acknowledged one more call he needed to make. He clenched and unclenched his right hand. His grip had improved, but he hadn’t been working as hard as he could have these last couple of weeks. His desire to play again had always been phenomenal, but now he had the best reason of all: he wanted his son or daughter to be proud of the man he was and the things he’d achieved in life. He didn’t want his career to end on a whimper, a result of fate dealing him a blow. He wanted to go out on a high, and on his terms.
He
pulled up the right contact information and made the call.
Cash rubbed sleep from his eyes and rolled over. He stretched out his legs, his eyes snapping open as he connected with someone. For a brief moment, he panicked. Was it Suze or some other faceless woman?
His vision cleared, and his heart began to race. Natalia was fast asleep, one arm thrown over her head. Sometime in the night, she’d swapped jeans and a T-shirt for her pyjamas, but the top had ridden up, revealing her smooth, round stomach. His hand crept forward tentatively, and he touched her belly. The skin was firm around the bump, and a thrill of excitement raced through him. As though sensing he was there, the baby kicked against his hand.
He pressed his lips against her stomach. “Hey,” he whispered. “Take it easy in there. Mum’s trying to sleep.”
“What are you doing?”
A trace of a smile left his lips as he lifted his gaze. “You’re awake.”
She reached her arms behind her head and stretched. “Were you kissing my belly?”
He gave her a goofy grin. “What if I was?”
“That’s weird.”
“Not to me.” He pushed himself upright. “You hungry?”
“Starving. I’m always starving.”
“What do you fancy?”
“You,” she said, reaching up for a kiss.
He groaned as her lips touched his, but then he pulled away. “You need to eat.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Okay.” She began to get up until he stopped her.
“Where do you think you’re going? Get back in bed.”
“I’m not an invalid,” she said, hitting him with a scowl. “Plus, you’re a terrible cook, and I want pancakes.”
“I can get Anna over here within fifteen minutes.”
“You’ll do no such thing,” she said as she stuffed her feet into slippers. “Besides, my back aches if I spend too much time in bed. I’m better moving around.”
As she set off downstairs, Cash held back. He wanted to touch her so badly, but what if he hurt her in some way? But he hadn’t missed the narrowed gaze she’d given him at his reluctance to become intimate, and he added that to the other difficult conversation they needed to have.
22
Tally had already mixed the pancake batter when Cash finally joined her in the kitchen. She glanced up as he slid onto a stool at the breakfast bar. Then she returned her attention to beating the mixture, when what she really wanted to do was beat some sense into him. Every time she tried to get close, he’d give in for a moment before pulling away, and she couldn’t understand why. Their relationship had always been a physical one, and yet his reticence to become intimate was beginning to grate.
She added a ladleful to the pan, and the liquid sizzled. She turned down the heat a little and began chopping strawberries—well, pulverising them, but at least that helped with her irritation.
“Are you ignoring me?” Cash said with a wry grin.
“Yes.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Why, what have I done?”
“Nothing.”
He laughed. “Bit of a cliché.”
She dropped the knife on the chopping board and planted her hands on her hips. “No. An accurate response. You’ve done precisely nothing.”
“Ah,” he said, an annoying smirk on his face. “This is because I haven’t put out.”
“Put out? What are you, sixteen?”
“Sometimes,” he said, reaching for her.
She jerked away and turned her back on him. She dug two plates out of the cupboard, even though she thought about getting only one. She was being childish but couldn’t seem to stop. It had to be her hormones.
Cash didn’t speak as he watched her move about the kitchen, and they ate in silence, although his eyes rarely left her face. When she put her fork down, he stacked their plates and dumped them in the sink.
“Right, that’s enough,” he said. “I’ve let you have your little strop. Spit it out, Natalia.”
Tally met Cash’s gaze, her teeth grazing her bottom lip. She blew a deep breath out through her nose. “Are we only back together because of this baby?”
His eyes smouldered as he stared at her. “Well, I can’t answer for you, but from my perspective, no, we’re not.”
“Okay,” she said in a small voice as her shoulders drooped.
He moved around to her side of the table and pulled out the chair adjacent. He picked up her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “Talk to me.”
“You haven’t touched me since we got back together. Is it because I’m fat?”
An expression of horror crossed his face. “You are not fat. You’re pregnant.”
“Same thing,” she said, gazing at the floor.
He put pressure under her chin until she had no alternative but to look at him. “I don’t want to ever hear you talking like that again. For fuck’s sake. I thought you’d got over the body issues you had when we first met. When will you learn, Natalia? The fact I’m physically attracted to you is only one part of the reason I love you so much.”
She chewed the inside of her cheek. “I’m sorry.”
He made an irritated noise. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to believe me. You’re kind, funny, thoughtful, annoying, frustrating, and hot as hell.”
She shook her head. “So what’s wrong with me?”
He sighed and swept a hand over his beard. “Nothing.”
“Then what’s going on, Cash? We’ve been apart for five months. I expected to have to fight you off, and I was looking forward to doing just that.”
His eyes slid away from hers. “I’m scared to touch you.”
“Why?” When he didn’t reply, her stomach clenched with fear. “Tell me.”
He looked at her then. “What if I hurt you or the baby?”
She frowned. “How would you hurt us?”
The chair made a scraping sound on the tiled floor as Cash stood and crossed the kitchen. The muscles in his back were visible through his thin grey sweater, and they became taut when he placed his palms on the countertop.
Tally followed, her hand tentatively reaching out to rest on his shoulder. “Cash?” she said in a soft voice.
He turned around, a glimmer of fear flashing in his eyes. He cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers. Briefly—agonisingly briefly. But he didn’t completely pull away. His lips were so close that if she leaned in an inch or so, they would touch again.
He shuddered as he breathed out. “I don’t have the right words to explain how much I missed you these past months. Baby, I’m so scared that if I start something, I won’t be able to stop.”
“That’s the thing, ace. I don’t want you to stop.”
He shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
She swept her thumb over his bottom lip. “Then show me.”
His fisted hands were trembling, and the look he gave her made her knees shake and her skin burn. He was wrong. She knew exactly what she was doing. He needed to prove he had control and could pull back, adjust course when necessary, and she had every intention of pushing him into testing himself. When he remained frozen, she cupped both hands around the back of his neck.
“You’re worth the risk,” she said, standing on tiptoes until their lips were almost touching.
His breathing was ragged, and a low, tortured groan tumbled from his throat. His kiss, when it came, was far from gentle—and it was exactly what she craved.
His hands moved to her hips, and he gripped hard, pushing her backwards until she hit the wall. His tongue surged inside her mouth, probing, demanding, owning. Her lungs burned as she dragged her mouth from his and gasped for air. He manoeuvred her slightly, pinning her in place with his hips, which left his hands free to roam. He cupped her breasts and trailed soft kisses over her neck. She moaned softly.
“These are definitely bigger,” he whispered in her ear. “I approve.” He bent his knees and swept her up into his arms. “Promise you’ll tel
l me if this gets to be too much.”
A surge of desire took her breath away. “I promise,” she said, the prospect of what was to come making her insides twist.
She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her upstairs. Even though she was heavier now that she was pregnant, Cash didn’t seem to notice. He placed her back on her feet at the side of their bed. The sheets were still rumpled from the night of sleeping.
His eyes locked onto hers, and he trailed the tip of his index finger across her cheek and down her neck and allowed it to linger between her breasts. He deftly unfastened her pyjama top and slid it down her arms, tossing it aside.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice hitching.
He lowered to his knees and tugged down her pyjama bottoms. She rested her hands on his shoulders for support as she stepped out of them. Her heartbeat thrummed in her ears, and her breath came in short pants. After all his concern, she’d expected him to rip her clothes off and take her quickly. Instead, he was seducing her, taking his time, savouring every moment.
His mouth was level with her belly, and he pressed a kiss to it. “Hold on tight, buddy,” he said, his eyes firmly on hers. “Your mum and I are about to have some fun.”
Her skin prickled with anticipation as Cash slowly got to his feet. Crossing his arms, he gripped the bottom of his sweatshirt and pulled it over his head. He’d always been in great shape, and he clearly hadn’t let his fitness slip over the last five months, despite not playing tennis professionally during that time. He shucked off his sweat pants and was already naked. Her gaze fell to his erection, and a swell of desire swept through her.
“Turn around,” he ordered, his voice soft and gentle.
She complied, apprehension making her heart race even faster. Her shoulders tensed as she waited for him to touch her. Seconds passed, and still she didn’t feel his hands on her skin.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
His warm breath tickled her ear. “Admiring the view.” He touched her then, cool hands tracking over burning skin as he rediscovered every inch of her body. His mouth followed the path his hands traced, and Tally’s knees trembled as desire swept through her.
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