Heima: Challenge to the Crown

by S. W. Gunn

  “Indeed, I’ll show her.”

  Ofriki asked, “You know how to cook?”

  “My mother taught all of us how to cook a few items. She tried several times to find me a wife and since she had no luck, she decided to teach me much more.”

  “Alright, I must let everyone know. Please do not take too long here, after all I am hungry.” Ofriki told them.

  She walked out laughing. Astir turned towards him and kissed him deeply. They spent much more time bathing than they should have since others were waiting, but Daell did not care. Making love to his wife was more important than any meal. He would take as much time as she desired of him, and even more if he could get it. Everything he went through at the Kostir was worth it, just to spend one moment with her and he planned to treasure every little bit that he could get. Eventually they made their way down the palace stairs and into the palace kitchens. Daell was as impressed with the kitchens of the palace as he was with everything else in the palace. It was a massive spread of multiple kitchens that consisted of dozens of cooking fires and hanging pots. There were even several metal sheets resting above an open fire. Daell knew that many different foods were set on those sheets to fry. The heat would move through the metal and cook the food. However he was much less confident in his ability to actually guide Astir because he had no clue where anything was within this kitchen. It could take quite some time to find everything they would need. Astir must have seen the befuddlement on his face.

  She asked, “You have no clue what to do here do you?”

  He glanced over to her. She was clearly enjoying his futility.

  “None.” He answered, which she replied to by laughing heartily.

  Daell explained, “My mother's kitchen is much different. She only has one fire that she did everythin’ on. I can cook, but it could take some time to find everythin’ needed.”

  She nodded at him. An older Jordling woman approached them as they were speaking to each other.

  The woman bowed deeply to them and then said, “Good evening your Majesty and your Highness. Is there anything that your humble kitchen staff could do for you?”

  Astir started to answer the question but Daell knew he had to intercede before she could try to escape her wager so he spoke quickly, “Yes my friend, I was wonderin’ if you could instruct our Queen on the fine arts of cookin’ a meal?”

  Astir clamped her mouth shut and gave Daell a quick stare. He could tell that she was shocked to be interrupted; heck he thought to himself, it was probably something that she had never experienced in her life.

  Daell winked at her and asked with a sly smile, “Your Majesty, you were not attemptin’ to avoid our wager were you?”

  Her skin flushed slightly and a mask of shame crossed her face. He knew immediately that she was trying to evade the wager.

  She nodded her head as she confessed, “You have caught me in the act my King, I shall honor our wager.”

  Daell grinned at her.

  The woman spoke up, “For my Queen, I’d be honored to provide some instruction.”

  Daell said to the woman, “Just remember friend, she’s to cook the meal, please just instruct her. We need a meal of her choosing for the usual evenin’ party.”

  Daell bent down slightly and kissed Astir on the cheek before saying, “I’ll leave you in our friend's hands my Queen. I’ll await the meal in the dinin’ hall. I look forward to your efforts.”

  “You are leaving me?” She asked almost nervously.

  “Of course your Majesty, I’d be a distraction from your lessons.”

  She reached out and poked him in the ribs as she then announced, “Be gone husband, I shall have my revenge later.”

  Her smile spoke of another pleasant evening in their bedroom. He laughed at her words.

  “Very well your Majesty, I’ll accept whatever punishment the Queen decides that I deserve.” He said as he bowed deeply to her before turning to leave.

  After making his way from the kitchen, Daell walked through the main kitchen doors and into the dining hall. All of their friends were sitting at the table.

  Hollurn was the first to speak, “And now the King arrives, but where is the Queen?”

  Everyone at the table laughed, which Daell responded to by grinning widely.

  “She’s in the kitchen cookin’ our meal.”

  “What?” Viga said, “The Queen does not cook a meal. She is the Queen of Heima.”

  Ofriki interjected, “She does when she loses a wager with the King.”

  Viga looked confused. It was clear that Ofriki had not shared the whole story, most likely to torture his poor wife later. Daell smiled at Ofriki, at first he was unsure of her, but she had quickly grown on him. She had a playful streak that brought out the playful streak in his wife. He knew this was true, especially after hearing the tales that Fregna had shared with him. Daell savored those stories. He would probably utilize one or more of them at an opportune moment when his wife most needed it. Daell took his seat.

  “Are you going to tell me about this wager?” Viga asked.

  Daell decided to share the whole story to them, “Well I’ve got a confession to make to all of you. I convinced our wonderful Queen to sneak out of the palace grounds and down to the village below. We disguised ourselves as Jordlin’ workers and walked right past the guards.”

  Daell paused and he could see the concern on the faces of Skemmra, Hollurn and Viga. Ofriki had already known.

  Viga spoke first, “That was very dangerous and unwise. The Queen needs to be guarded at all times.”

  “I know but I had to see the village and talk with people. I just can’t do that with a bunch of Aldarnari guards standin’ around. People do not wish to converse with you when a bunch of armed guards are nearby, besides I believe the trip was very enlightenin’ for my beautiful Queen.”

  Ofriki looked curious at his last comment.

  “How so your Highness?” She asked.

  “Ofriki, you’re my wife's best friend, please just call me Daell.”

  Skemmra chuckled and said, “He's taken you into the group Lady Ofriki. Just watch out as he loves to make all of his friends drink mungat.”

  All of his friends laughed.

  “I can drink mungat, and thank you Daell. I am flattered that you consider me one of your friends,” Ofriki stated before restating, “But please, could you tell me how your little excursion to the village was enlightening to the Queen.”

  “Can I ask you a completely honest question?”

  “Of course.” She answered.

  “All of this time travelin’ and trainin’ to rule your people, have you ever taken the time to see them? To see where they live, and how they live? To actually get to know them as a person?”

  Daell could tell by the expression on her face that she had not.

  “No, I have not.” She replied unhappily, which was exactly as he had suspected.

  In all of his travels before the Kostir he had seen those same people, he was one of them. They lived as best they could, but never did they interact with royalty outside of the occasional parade or sighting from a distance.

  “Well that’s what my beautiful Queen did for the first time this turn. I believe that it was enlightenin’ for her. I think she might have learned somethin’ and will become an even better Queen, because of it. I accept full responsibility for our actions on this turn. If there is anythin’ to happen I insist that I be the one it happens to.”

  Viga laughed as Skemmra said, “Awww, how noble.”

  Ofriki spoke next, “Daell you do realize that you are the King of Heima and she is the Queen of Heima correct?”

  Daell nodded.

  “Who could punish you? You are the highest authority in all of Heima. While we are all very upset that you and the Queen both left the safety of the palace grounds, we could not stop you in the end. We all just care so much for the both of you and would hate to see anything bad happen to either of you.”

  Daell
was touched and happy at the same time.

  He said, making sure not to include his own future solo excursions, “I promise each of you that we’ll not sneak out of the palace grounds again.”

  Viga interjected, “That is all we can ask for.”

  Someone coughed behind them. They all turned to the sound of the cough and immediately broke out in wild laughter, Daell was no exception. As he turned around he saw Astir standing there. Somehow she had managed to become completely covered in some sort of white powder. Her hair was tossed and her left arm was soaking wet. She was a comical sight. After the group finally stopped laughing she blew air through her lips.

  “I have been banned from the palace kitchens.” She announced.

  Her words only caused everyone to laugh even louder. Daell could not help himself. He laughed so hard that tears began to form in his eyes. His sides even started to hurt from laughter. His mother had always said that anyone can learn to cook but now he left to believe that maybe not everyone could cook. Astir stomped up to the dining table and plopped sadly into her chair.

  Ofriki asked, “What happened?”

  Daell nodded. It was a tale he was keen to hear as well. Everyone at the table stopped laughing and looked at his wife to hear the tale.

  “Well,” She started, “I just want to say that this is all Daell's fault.”

  He knew it was his fault and suspected punishment would come later.

  She continued speaking, “The head chef attempted to show me how to make braud so I was bringing a bag of grain flour, as she asked. I did not see the drains of one of the sinks where dishes are washed. I tripped and flung the bag upwards. It tumbled down on me and burst open at the seams of the bag, which caused the flour to cover me completely. Several of her assistants attempted to aid me in recovering from my predicament. Unfortunately, I must have bumped into one of the cooling pots, or at least that is what she called it. She was quite upset about it. Apparently my flour covered arm going into the pot spoiled four turns worth of fermentation, next as she was attempting to show me how to sauter. No not sauter. She called it something.”

  Skemmra aided her story by saying, “Sauté Your Majesty.”

  Astir snapped her fingers and continued, “That was it. She was trying to show me how to sauté. I burned my finger on the pan and dropped it. Sadly it fell on top of the pot in which she was boiling several vegetables. She started to yell loudly. Another chef gently escorted me out of the kitchen. I could hear her yelling at her people. She said to ensure that I never step foot in her kitchen again.”

  Astir frowned. Daell and all of their friends laughed uncontrollably. She did not look happy about the situation at all so he stopped laughing and rose to his feet.

  “Your Majesty it was a noble effort, I consider our wager paid.” He said as he gently picked up her wet hand before kissing it.

  “Good, however I believe I owe you something.”

  Before Daell could react she leapt at him. Since he was ill prepared for the attack, it caused him to fall backwards and onto the ground. Astir was atop of him as they landed on the floor. She began kissing him passionately. It was not the punishment that he was expecting.

  She broke their kiss and said, “Now I am not the only one covered in white flour.”

  With a chuckle she rose to her feet. Daell climbed up from the ground and took an assessment his clothing. The majority of the flour that was on her had dusted off onto him and the floor beneath him.

  He said resolutely, “For your kiss your Majesty, I’d take dozens of dustin’s of flour.”

  Dusting as much of the flour off as he could, he gave her a big grin. They both sat down.

  “Will we be eating the evening meal?” Hollurn asked.

  Daell knew to expect a question about eating to come from his friend. Hollurn did not like to skip meals whenever possible.

  “Yes, the chef who escorted me from the kitchen said a meal was forthcoming, right before asking me as kindly as she could that I not return.” Astir answered.

  Daell tried not to laugh at her last comment but he could not help himself. He eventually regained his composure. Daell felt bad for her. She looked completely exasperated by the whole situation. He reached over and stroked her cheek.

  As softly as he could, he said, “Not everyone can do everythin’ your Majesty. You’ve many other useful skills, but cookin’ is obviously not one of them it seems.”

  “I guess we will not be running away to settle down in some small village and raise a family there?”

  “My love you belong here, rulin’ your people.”

  She smiled softly at him. He just remembered that technically she still owed him a massage for his feet.

  Daell announced, “Your Majesty, I believe that you still owe me for the second half of our wager.”

  At first she looked slightly puzzled but then he could tell she suddenly remembered what he was referring to.

  “Right here?”

  “Is there a better location your Majesty?” Daell said coyly, he enjoyed their back and forth.

  She stood and announced loudly, “Very well, let it be known that the Queen of Heima is a woman of her word. However be warned my King, my vengeance is coming. You will not know when or where, but I shall have my revenge.”

  She winked at him as she walked from her chair and then positioned herself behind him.

  “Could you rotate your chair to face me.” She said once she was in a position behind him that allowed an open space for her to sit on the floor.

  Their friends were watching intently. It was part of the wager that was not mentioned to Ofriki. He shifted and rotated his chair around until he was facing her.

  “Ofriki, have someone get me some ben oil please.”

  Ofriki rose and left the room. Astir sat down on the floor at his feet. She struggled a bit but she finally was able to remove both of his boots. Daell glanced at Viga and Skemmra. They looked very shocked about what they were watching. Ofriki returned with a small bottle of ben oil.

  “What are you doing your Majesty?” Ofriki asked.

  Astir gestured at Ofriki to bring the bottle to her. Ofriki handed her the bottle. Astir opened it up and began pouring some on Daell's feet.

  “I am paying the second half of my wager. The second half called for the loser of the wager to massage the feet of the winner in full view of you fine people. Unfortunately my faith in my guards was my downfall.”

  She began rubbing his feet. Daell's feet had hurt from the long turn of walking and it felt wonderful. Thier friends snickered silently. Daell doubted that they too had wanted to become victims of her future wrath, which would explain their attempted silence as she rubbed his feet. Daell let her rub both of his feet a little while before he had her stop.

  He said to her, “It’s now your turn your Majesty.”

  He rose from his chair and held out his hand.

  “But I lost the wager.”

  “I don’t care. I want to provide you with a massage of your feet. I suspect they might be hurtin’ from our long turn of exploration.”

  She took his hand. Daell guided her into his chair and then sat down by her feet. He could tell that her feet must have been hurting because she did not protest in the slightest at his offer. First he removed her shoes, which revealed that even her feet were cute. Her tiny feet easily fit within his hands. Daell found that even rubbing her feet provided him with pleasure. He just liked touching her whenever he could but he had to make sure he was careful because he did not want to hurt her. After a long massage, which Astir seemed to enjoy completely, the evening meal arrived. As the meal entered the dining hall, he placed her shoes back on her feet, stood up, and then guided her to back to her own seat. He sat down in his chair and they all ate thier meal while he and Astir shared the entire adventure with thier friends.

  Chapter 10

  The cycle of training had passed for Daell. Astir was extremely happy with his improvement because he absorbed his lessons f
rom Fregna like a sponge. She had questioned him many times during his training and it would seem that he was quickly becoming an expert in the economy of Heima as he could tell her more about the trading functions between the different cities that any person should ever know. It was only now one turn until they would leave Bygod for Daell's village. Daell’s friends Hollurn and Skemmra had approached them sometime after the announcement of their trip was made, with a request. She had not known it, but apparently they were lovers and had intended to get married. It was very unusual for people of different races to marry, but not unheard of. She wondered what their children would look like because they were very much opposites, Hollurn was a massive Jordling and Skemmra was a Vindiri woman who was only slightly taller than Astir. Since his friend was from the same village as Daell, they wanted to come along so they could tell his family about their plans. She readily agreed to let them join the caravan since she felt that his friend’s presence would only add to Daell’s joy during the trip. One thing of note that had happened from his time with Fregna was the loss of his accent. He now spoke as clearly as any other member of the Royal family. It had happened so gradually over the last cycle that she did not realize it intially.

  Astir was quite excited about going since it would be her last time leaving Bygod as she knew that she could not allow herself to leave the palace again. She had made it clear to her husband and he proclaimed no issue with the decision since he had only wanted her to meet his family. Also she noticed he was also quite excited about the prospect of seeing the Hyggja again and she had to admit that she was curious about them herself. She found out that they were going to provide an envoy to Bygod that would arrive once Daell had fulfilled his promise to return. It was one of the many reasons she was finally able to successfully convince the council to let her go meet his parents, although it also had helped that she said she would go with or without their blessing.

  The palace was bustling with movement. She had many servants and others preparing for their trip. Astir did not notice before the Kostir, because she was so distracted, but she had to believe that the palace was like this then. She was amazed how much she had grown since the Kostir, even with the mischief she and Daell had caused on their excursion out the gates of the palace, she found she was very much the Queen that she was trained to be. After their trips one of the first things she did was to make sure that the many repairs for the village were made. Visti later told her that the people of the village were quite pleased with the repairs, and with her. Astir was very happy to hear that and it led her to think about other future repairs for the people of Heima. They deserved better than they were receiving at times from their leadership, including her. She also ordered the repair of all of the leids within Heima. It was not long after her visit to the village that Visti told her that no one was convinced of Visti’s tale that the Queen and King of Heima had been in her flower shop to buy flowers, which made Astir chuckle. Later she had told many of her handmaidens that Visti was telling the truth, she saw no reason for people to think that Visti was a liar when she was not.