“I’ve never had a nightmare about anyone losing their eye.”
Frankie met my gaze without wavering.
“Are you seriously suggesting my uncle has lied to me all these years? That my nightmares are memories?” I could feel anger boiling up, but underneath it was fear and suspicion. Frankie had to be wrong, but what she said made too much sense. Especially when I’d just been questioning my uncle’s story myself. Instead of considering all this information, logically, however, I found myself getting angrier.
“I don’t want to make you mad, I just think you should consider the possibility.”
“It’s not a real possibility.” I was yelling now, and I knew I should stop, but if I calmed down, I’d have to think about what she’d said and I wasn’t ready for that. “I have to get to class.” I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.
“I’m sorry,” Frankie said to my back. “I’m just worried about you. You’re exhausted and when you cry out in your sleep, you sound so scared and hurt and alone. I just want to help.”
“I didn’t ask for your help,” I said, hating myself a little bit. “If it bothers you so much, I’ll find somewhere else to sleep.”
“Remy, no, I—”
I left before I had to hear what she was going to say next.
***
I was supposed to have another date that night, but I called him and cancelled. I promised no retaliation if he didn’t take me out, I just wasn’t in the mood for a date. He understood and didn’t pressure me to give him another chance. In fact, he sounded relieved and I wondered why I was still bothering to go out with all those guys. Maybe, for once in my life, I should back down and just let it go. I’d already proved my point to Byron, even if he wasn’t ready to admit defeat.
I started back to my dorm room, but found my feet taking me to Byron’s instead. I headed up the stairs to his room and knocked on his door.
“He’s not here.”
I turned to see Worthy leaning against the wall, concern obvious in his expression. I was so tired of people worrying about me. “Don’t you have a date tonight?”
“I cancelled,” I said. Determined to make him stop worrying about me, I smiled sweetly at him. “I decided I’d rather see you.”
Worthy smiled and the worry in his eyes lightened just a bit. “And you got confused about which room was mine?”
I waved my hand in front of my face and put on my best Southern Bell accent. “It’s this here heat, it’s just got me all plumb confused.”
Worthy laughed. “And what were you planning to do when you found me?”
I was at a loss. I just wanted to forget about my nightmares and my past and my uncle, but I had no grand ideas for how to spend the evening.
“Because,” Worthy said. “I have to leave for work in about fifteen minutes. You’re welcome to hang out in my room and study until I get back.”
It didn’t sound like the most exciting evening I’d ever had, but I loved the idea of getting away from Frankie and Bell’s worry, and I especially loved the idea of spending more time with Worthy. “That would be great. If you’re sure you don’t mind.”
He grinned. “Mind having a beautiful woman waiting for me in my room. Why would I mind that?”
He led me to his room at the end of the hall and left me there with instructions to make myself at home, a kiss on the cheek, and a promise to see me soon. Then he left me alone, like he wasn’t at all worried about me snooping.
I dropped my backpack on the floor next to his double-bed, and sat on the edge of it, clasping my hands together tightly to resist the urge to start opening drawers. His room was smaller than my dorm room, with just enough space for his bed, a small dresser with a T.V. on top, and a nightstand. There was no desk in his room, so I figured he must study on his bed or go to the library or the big dining room table on the first floor. I’d seen his frat brothers studying there before.
The comforter on his bed was navy and thin, and I wondered if he slept hot. I stood and walked over to the dresser to get a closer look at the two pictures next to the T.V. The first was of him and Byron and five other frat brothers, none of whom I’d dated, at the summit of some mountain. The other was of three boys and a woman, who didn’t look that much older than me, in front of a small, white clapboard house. The oldest boy had Worthy’s curls and brown eyes, and the other two boys looked to be a good bit younger than him. Worthy could have been eight or ten, but one of his brothers was in his mother’s arms, in a diaper, and the other looked no older than four. Their mother didn’t smile at the camera, but even so she was beautiful, her posture straight, her shoulders back, a look of determination on her striking features.
I wandered the room a bit more, but there was nothing else to see unless I opened drawers and went full out snoopy. I sat on Worthy’s bed and pulled out my biology text book. I read about meiosis and mitosis until my brain got fuzzy, and then I pulled out one of the books Bell had lent me, a romance with a buff and half-naked guy on the cover.
I must have fallen asleep, because I woke to a dark room and an arm pulling me back against a hard, warm body. I rolled under the arm and faced Worthy in the dim light that filtered into his room from a streetlight outside. “I’m sorry,” he said. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You looked so peaceful sleeping there next to the naked man, I didn’t want to wake you, but I couldn’t resist touching you.”
“Naked man?” I felt groggy and out of it, but I think I’d notice another man in bed with us.
Worthy smiled and his eyes went melty amber. “A book with a naked man on the cover.”
My cheeks heated and I ducked my head. “Bell lent it to me to help me sleep.”
Worthy bent his head and nipped my bottom lip. I raised my face to his and he kissed me. “It seems to have worked.”
“Yeah,” I said. “It did.”
He tightened his grip around my waist and squeezed, sliding one of his legs between mine. My lower belly tightened and I wanted more. I wanted to get closer to him. “I like you in my bed,” he said. “Do you think you could stay here tonight?”
There was nowhere else I’d rather be, but I didn’t want Worthy to witness me having a nightmare.
He noticed my hesitation and kissed my forehead. “Byron is going to have to get used to us as a couple at some point, because I don’t intend to let him and his rules determine what we do.”
I could have argued that we should respect Byron and not sleep together in his house, it would have been the perfect excuse, but it was warm in Worthy’s arms and I didn’t want to leave them. I’d just make sure we didn’t do any sleeping. “I want to stay.”
Worthy’s grin brightened the room and warmed me from the outside in. “We don’t have to do anything,” he said. “We can just sleep. I’m exhausted and you have to work in the morning.”
I pressed myself against him and nipped his stubbly chin. “I’ve just had a nap,” I said. “And I’m not tired at all.”
His body tensed for just a moment and then he relaxed with a sigh. “I’m not going to have sex with you tonight, Remy, but I can make you feel good.”
“Sounds perfect,” I said, relieved not to have to decide that night if I was ready to go all the way with him.
“You call the shots,” he said. “If I do anything that makes you feel anything other than amazing, you let me know and I’ll stop.”
“Awfully sure of yourself, aren’t you?” His confidence reminded me of how much more experienced than me he was, and I pulled away from him a bit, nervous.
He pulled me back against him and pressed a kiss to my neck, just under my ear. He smiled when I shivered. “I’m sure of us, Remy. Together. I’ve never felt anything like this before.”
He slid a hand under my shirt and gripped my waist in a move I’d already come to love. He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me until my heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest, and all I felt was want. I burned all over and I wanted his hands everywhere, I
wanted to feel him everywhere. I wanted to be branded by his touch.
I pulled away from him and gripped the hem of my shirt in both hands. He watched me, his eyes molten amber, as I lifted the shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor behind me. I didn’t take my eyes off his, and I loved the way he looked at me like he felt it, too, the want and the need. He made me feel devastatingly gorgeous. I unclasped my bra and let it drop to the floor with my shirt without feeling a moment’s hesitation or embarrassment. It felt right and good to be bared to him.
He pulled me back and kissed my collarbone, taking his time. Taking too damn long. I grabbed his hands and put them on my breasts, so lost in the moment and in lust that I was in no mood to wait for him. He massaged my breasts and desire shot like fireworks all over my body. He pinched my right nipple, and I threw back my head and moaned because it just felt that good.
“Fuck,” Worthy said. “Remy, you have no idea what you’re doing to me. I’ve never seen anything as gorgeous and sexy as you, and I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.”
He dropped his head to my breast and put his mouth on me and bright lights exploded behind my eyes. I felt like I was going to explode, every part of me was so sensitive to his touch, to the feel of him on me. I pushed him off and dropped to the bed, limp and overstimulated.
“Please,” I said. “I can’t take any more. Just…just give me a minute.”
“Do you want to stop?” I opened my eyes to see Worthy over me, concern on his face.
“No,” I said. “It’s just a bit overwhelming. I need a minute to catch my breath.”
He grinned that grin I was coming to love. “You don’t need to be able to breathe for what I’m about to do to you.”
He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing broad shoulders, toned pecs, and a rock-hard abs that I wanted to lick. That thought made me scrunch my eyes closed and take a deep breath. Maybe it was that racy book I’d read before my nap or maybe it was all Worthy, but I’d never wanted to lick anyone before. I wasn’t sure I recognized myself. The feel of Worthy’s warm hand on my stomach made my eyes pop open and I saw him looking down at me, a question in his eyes.
I waved a hand. “I’m pretty sure I’m incapable of saying no to you, right now,” I said. “No sex, but have your way with me otherwise.”
He chuckled, slid his hand under the waistband of my jeans, and touched a spot I’d only ever touched myself. It felt so good I was pretty sure I’d – then his hand was gone and I sat up and glared at him. “Why’d you stop?”
He met my glare with a heated stare that melted something in my chest, and then he unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans and pulled them down over my hips, his eyes on mine the entire time.
He dropped his face between my legs and put his tongue where no one’s tongue had gone before. I dropped back on the bed and exploded into a bazillion shiny bits of pleasure.
Worthy didn’t stop his attentions until I thought I was going to scream. I pushed him away before I brought all his housemates running. He sat up and gave me a mock pout. “That was way too quick,” he said. “I want more.”
I was pretty sure if he put his head back down there, I was going to forget to be quiet and my head might just explode. So I reached for him and stroked the impressive bulge in his jeans. He jerked back from me and shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”
I propped myself up on my elbows and frowned at him. “Clearly, you aren’t, and I’m having fun. I want to have more fun.”
He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. “I just don’t want to go too fast with you. I’ve only taken you out on one date.”
“We went hiking together, so that counts as two dates. And I didn’t realize we were on any sort of timetable, here. If I’m uncomfortable, I’ll let you know, but so far this has all felt really good.”
He studied my face for a long moment and then he nodded. “Okay, have your way with me.”
A bubble of happiness rose in my chest and escaped as a laugh. A laugh that came out as a bit of a nervous giggle. I trusted Worthy and I wanted to make him feel as good as he’d made me feel, but I’d never seen a naked penis on purpose before. The ones I had seen belonged to my cousins and I’d felt only revulsion and embarrassment when I’d happened to see them accidently. Something that, admittedly, hadn’t happened since I was a kid except with Barrett, who had a weird proclivity for nudity. Everything Worthy and I had done together had made me feel good, but what if the sight of his penis ruined it all?
I gave myself a mental slap when I met Worthy’s gaze and saw that he’d noticed my hesitation and was moving away from me, giving me space. I grabbed the waistband of his jeans and pulled him back. Then, before I could give it too much thought, I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. He was wearing black boxer briefs and I could clearly make out a sizable bulge straining for freedom. I didn’t feel revulsion, just desire and warmth and a bit of nervousness.
“Remy…” Worthy said. I looked at him and he licked his lips, caught somewhere between concern and ecstasy. I wanted to give him ecstasy. I pushed the boxers down and he bobbed free, erect and big. Really big. Curious, I put my hand on him and felt his smooth, silky, warmth. He hissed out a breath and I jumped and let him go, worried I’d hurt him.
The look on his face, though, wasn’t pain. “Will you show me?” I asked. I wrapped my fingers around him and he put his hand on top of mine. He showed me how to make him feel as good as he’d made me feel.
***
“Holy shoot,” I said to Bell at lunch the next day. “What kind of smut did you give me? How did you even get those books?” I’d ended up falling asleep in Worthy’s arms and hadn’t had a nightmare, at least not one I could remember and Worthy hadn’t mentioned me tossing and turning.
Bell laughed. “They aren’t mine. I borrowed them from Ella.”
“I’ve only met her a couple of times,” I said. “I’m not going to be able to face her without blushing now.”
Bell frowned. “So they aren’t working as a distraction?”
“Oh, no, they’re working. That book definitely gave me some happy thoughts and good feelings to fall asleep with.” I didn’t mention how much the techniques I’d read in that book had helped me to have fun with Worthy. I didn’t feel like sharing, yet, I wanted to keep our night together all to myself.
Bell smiled. “Oh, well, good then.”
“Um, maybe I could borrow one after you’re done?” Frankie asked, her cheeks pink. “I’ve never read a book like that.”
“Sure,” I said. “If it’s okay with Ella.”
“Of course it’s okay with me,” Ella said, putting a tray on the table and sitting down across from me, next to Bell. “Learned everything worth knowing about dating from those books.” Ella had the face of an angel, with glowing, blonde hair and more piercings than I’d ever seen on one person before. She had gauges in both ears, studs lining both ears half-way around, two lip rings, and a nose ring. I’d only talked to her a couple of times, and in passing, so I didn’t know much about her at all. From what I could tell, she kept to herself, didn’t smile much, and was always in a hurry.
I had to admit, I was a bit jealous that she had experienced any of the numerous sexy scenes I’d read in the book. Not to mention the romantic, sweet moments that seemed too good to be true. Not one of the five men I’d grown up with spoke the way the men in those books did, though Worthy came close. I was just working up the nerve to ask Ella about her dating experience, but Bell beat me to it.
“Have you had a lot of boyfriends?”
Ella’s cheeks turned pink and she looked down at the table, displaying an unexpected vulnerability. “Um, no, actually,” she said. “I haven’t had many, or I haven’t had any boyfriends, actually. But I’d like to think those books have well prepared me for the day I do start dating.”
“I’ve never dated, either,” I said. “Well, not until the last couple of weeks. I have to say the book I read was quite enlightening.”<
br />
Ella must have seen uncertainty in my expression, because she smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure no college boy expects his girl to have the level of experience the women in those books do.”
I’d pretty much figured the same thing myself, but it was good to hear, anyway. Ella ate her chicken Caesar salad quickly, her back straight, lifting her spoon to her mouth primly and properly. I tried not to watch her as I nibbled on my sandwich, but she was just so poised and beautiful, it was hard not to wonder where she’d come from and what her life had been so far. Bell had her nose in a book, this one for her first class of the day, and I could feel Frankie’s eyes on the side of my face. I knew if I looked at her, I’d see worry, and I’d probably trigger her asking me if I was okay and if I’d had a nightmare.
“Where are you from?” I asked Ella.
She paused with her fork midway to her mouth. “I’m from Virginia,” she said. “Charlottesville. Home to John Grisham and Sissy Spacek. Dave Matthews is from there, too, among others. Where are you from?”
“West Virginia,” I said. “The mountains, home to black bears, bobcats, and deer.”
Ella narrowed her eyes at me, like she was trying to figure out if I was making fun of her. I kind of had been, but come on, how could I not? So I met her gaze and smiled. She relaxed and took another bite of her salad, but she didn’t smile back. She finished eating, wiped her mouth primly with her napkin, and stood. “I’ve got to get to class, but I’ll see y’all later.” She walked away without waiting for a response from us.
“She’s different,” I said. “But I think I like her.”
“She’s nice,” Bell said, without looking up from her book. “She’s just really busy. I think she works like thirty-five hours a week, on top of going to school.”
I only worked fifteen to twenty hours a week and I felt overwhelmed sometimes. Of course, that might have had something to do with not sleeping at night and attempting to date my way through my cousin’s frat house, but I was still impressed by Ella’s schedule.
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