Bell shut her book with a snap and stood. “I’ve got to get to class, too. You ladies enjoy the rest of your lunch.”
We waved Bell off, and I picked at my sandwich, still not looking at Frankie. “So,” Frankie said. “You really think the books are helping with your nightmares?” She spoke so fast, the words ran together, and I knew she was nervous about confronting me again. That understanding did not evoke the sympathy from me that it probably should have.
“Sure,” I said. “I’m all better.”
“Oh, okay, that’s good,” Frankie said. “So, this guy in my econ class asked me out yesterday.”
I turned to look at her then, and saw a shy smile peeking out. “That’s great! What’s he like? Do you like him?”
She hesitated. “Oh, well, he’s really cute. Honestly, he can be a bit obnoxious in class, shouting out answers and teasing some of the other students. But he was really nice to me when he asked me out.”
“That doesn’t sound so good,” I said. “Did you turn him down?”
Confusion registered on her brow. “Um, no. I couldn’t do that. It was so sweet of him to ask me, and I just couldn’t tell him no. That would be so rude.”
I pretended to be enthralled with my ham sandwich so I didn’t have to look Frankie in the face. “Sweetie,” I said, finally. “Bless your heart, you don’t have to go out with a guy just because he asks you. If you don’t like him, you just tell him no.”
Frankie looked down at her hands, and I thought I’d gotten through to her. Then she looked up at me and, though her cheeks were red, her expression was determined. “That’s just not how I was raised.”
I did not like where this was going. “So you can’t turn down a guy you don’t really like for a date?”
“Well, my momma always told me that I could say no, I just had to do it politely. To come up with a reasonable excuse. The problem is, I’m not really good at thinking fast on my feet, so I just usually say yes.”
“So your momma told you it was better to lie and lead guys on then to just say, ‘No thank you, I’m not interested’?”
Frankie’s jaw set in a hard line. “That is not what I said, Remy.”
I let it go, because socially sheltered as I was, even I knew no good ever came of insulting someone’s momma. “So, when is this date?”
“It’s tomorrow night,” she said. “At that nice Italian place on the corner.”
I had to bite my lip not to question why she didn’t at least downgrade the date from dinner to coffee if she wasn’t sure she liked the guy. I didn’t want to upset her any more than I already had. “Let’s make it a double date,” I said. “I’ll ask Worthy to come with me.”
Frankie looked out at the window where some guys were playing Frisbee and laughing. It was a warm fall day, the leaves were just starting to turn, and lots of people were outside. She swallowed, and then she looked at me. “That would be fun, but we have to be subtle about it. You and Worthy show up at the restaurant and say hello, and I’ll invite you to join us. That way it will seem natural and won’t hurt his feelings.”
“Okay,” I said, trying to smile through what I’m sure was an expression suggesting she was crazy. “Whatever you want.”
“Great,” she said. “Want to walk to class with me?”
So we walked to class together in silence, enjoying the fall weather and the beauty of the campus. With red-brick buildings and gorgeous landscaping, the campus was pretty enough to be something out of a fairy tale, and I never got tired of walking it and exploring it.
***
I met Frankie for her date the next night, feeling exhausted. Wednesdays were my busiest days, I had two classes and biology lab. The romance books were only working to keep me up all night reading them. As soon as I closed my eyes, the nightmares hit me again. I knew Frankie was only getting more and more worried and I felt awful. On top of that, Worthy had a study group, and I hadn’t been able to find anyone else willing to double-date with me and Frankie. I’d had to resort to the one guy I knew Frankie was attracted to, even though she swore she didn’t like him as a person.
Maybe if I’d been more alert and less of a shambling zombie, I could have come up with a better solution, but I hadn’t been and I couldn’t.
Frankie’s cheeks pinked when she saw me walk up with Harrison, and I got a sinking feeling of foreboding. Frankie’s date was cute, all big biceps, sculpted face, and bright blue eyes, but the way he glared at us when Frankie waved us over set my teeth on edge. Something was wrong with this guy. And I was pretty sure what was wrong was that he wasn’t a nice guy. Frankie needed a nice guy.
“Hi, Frankie, what a surprise,” I said, pretending to be surprised. “It’s so good to see you.”
I looked at Harrison, but he was glaring right back at Frankie’s date, so I elbowed him in the ribs. He gasped and forced a smile. “Hi, Frankie.”
Frankie’s blush deepened. “Hi, you, two. Duran, this is Remy and Harrison. Why don’t you join us for dinner?” She spoke at a normal pace, but it seemed forced, like she was thinking really hard about her words.
Duran glared at Harrison for a moment longer, so I laced my fingers through Harrison’s and kissed his cheek. Duran relaxed and smiled. “Any friends of Francesca’s are friends of mine.”
“Thanks,” I said, pulling up a chair and sitting next to Duran. I didn’t think it would be wise for Harrison to sit next to him. “We’d love to join you. I haven’t seen you, Frankie, in so long. How are you?”
“I’m great, Remy,” she said, her words fast and nervous. Harrison sat next to her and gave her shoulder a small squeeze. Frankie took a deep breath. “How are you both?” This time her words were modulated and at a normal pace.
“We’re doing really well,” Harrison said. “Right, love of my life?”
I didn’t look at Harrison, because I suspected he’d have a pseudo-loving face on that would make me crack up. “So, Duran,” I said. “I hear you have an econ class with our Frankie. Are you an econ major?”
“No,” Duran said.
I stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate, but he didn’t say any more. “Well, bless your heart,” I said. “Aren’t you just charming?”
Harrison pinched my thigh under the table and I bit my lip, hard, to keep from crying out. Then I kicked him in the shin. No one said I had to be nice to Duran. Harrison flinched and narrowed his eyes at me, then picked up a menu. “So, what’s good here?”
“Oh, I don’t have any idea,” Frankie said. “I’ve never been here before. Duran?”
“It’s all good, babe,” he said. “I eat here all the time.”
We turned our attention to the menu and made our choices. I tried to get Duran into a conversation so I could learn more about him, but he didn’t seem to be terribly interested in conversation. Finally, Harrison got him talking about the Maple Ridge football team and I chatted with Frankie about her classes and the rest of our suitemates. Dinner was actually good and the conversation flowed, although Duran and Frankie barely spoke to one another. After we’d eaten, Duran generously paid for all our meals. He told us repeatedly that he was happy to pay, because his parents were loaded. We waved goodbye to Frankie and Duran and watched them leave the restaurant together.
Harrison drew in a sharp breath next to me. “Don’t ever ask me to do this again,” he said. His expression was pained.
“He doesn’t seem that bad,” I said. “A little self-absorbed and conversationally-challenged, but the girl’s got to date around to find out who she likes.”
Harrison sighed. “She can’t say no to anyone, Remy. She’ll probably end up dating that jerk for two years before she gets fed up enough to do something about it.”
“We won’t let that happen.”
“You won’t let that happen,” Harrison said. “I can’t be involved anymore. I like her too much, and you were right, I’m no good for her.”
“You can’t be worse for her than that guy.”
Harrison shook his head and his shoulders bowed a bit, like he carried the weight of the world. “You don’t know me, Remy. Just look out for her, okay.”
“Okay,” I said. “But you can’t just disappear, Harrison. You’re her friend and you’re my friend.”
He didn’t look at me. “I’ll call you when I find out the date for the next paintball tournament.”
“Sure,” I said. Harrison gave me a silent ride back to the dorms and I rushed to my room, hoping to find Frankie there.
“He was really sweet on the way back,” Frankie said as soon as I walked in. “Thanks for looking out for me, but he’s a nice guy.”
“That’s good,” I said. “I didn’t really get to talk to him at dinner.”
“He wants to take me out again this weekend.”
“Okay…”
“And I told him I’d love to see him again. We just need a chance to get to know each other better.”
“But you don’t like him,” I said, confused. “Did this dinner change that?”
“I said I didn’t like what he did in class. But he was sweet tonight, and I’m willing to give him a chance.”
“But, why?” I asked. “There are a lot of nice guys around, Frankie. Why would you go out with him again if you don’t really like him?” Yeah, I was being pushy, but I didn’t need another dinner date with Duran to see that she could do better.
Frankie grabbed her bag off the floor. “I’m heading to the library to study. I’ll see you later.” She walked out without waiting for me to respond.
I flopped down on my bed and closed my eyes in frustration.
CHAPTER SEVEN
When I woke up later that night, sweaty and breathless, the nightmare sticking to me like a dark tar. I knew I needed to change something. The romance books weren’t working and I was exhausted. I stood and started pacing. Frankie still wasn’t back from the library and I had to come up with some way to get past the nightmares. The pacing turned into jogging in place and I realized I hadn’t been for a run since I’d moved in. Maybe physical exercise was what I needed. I changed into shorts and a t-shirt and pulled on my running shoes.
The night was cool, feeling more like fall than it had all week, and I breathed deep and picked up my pace. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Frankie had said about my nightmares being based on something that really happened to me. I didn’t want to believe she was right, but I didn’t remember anything from my childhood with my normal, suburban family and that couldn’t be right either. Without conscious thought, I found myself at my cousin’s frat. I jogged up the stairs to Byron’s room.
This time, when I knocked, he answered and ushered me in. “Hey, kid,” he said. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Someone had been talking to him about me. I walked into his arms and let him hug me tight. He smelled like home and comfort, mossy trees and clean rain. Tears burned my eyes, but I swallowed them down and pulled away from him.
“Can we talk?” I asked.
He nodded and took a seat at his desk chair. He gestured for me to sit on his bed, and I did. “Still having the nightmares?”
“What do you remember about my dad?” I asked.
“What?” He turned away and closed his book. When he faced me again, his expression was guarded. “Why do you want to know about him?”
“I want to know what you remember about him,” I said. “Because I don’t remember anything. The only place I see his face is in my nightmares, and the things he gets into…but he was your uncle, so you must remember something about him, right?”
“What has Dad told you?” he asked, his jaw clenching.
“Only that my father was an accountant and we lived in the suburbs. That’s it. Nothing about what he looked like or what our house looked like or what my mom was like. He tells me my nightmares are nothing but my overactive imagination, but don’t you think it’s weird that he’s told me nothing about my father?”
Byron froze. “Wait. Are you suggesting that your nightmares are memories? Because that’s crazy. I remember your nightmares, Remington. No kid would have ever been involved in that kind of stuff.”
“I know, I just…I need to know something real about my dad. If I can have a real memory, maybe I can forget the nightmares. Replace them with good memories. Please, Byron, you must remember something.”
He ran a hand over his face and, when he looked at me again, there was a new vulnerability and sadness in his eyes. “I was just a kid, so maybe I don’t remember, but Keats, Tennyson, and Barrett they don’t remember either. I’m pretty sure none of us ever met your father, Remington. I didn’t even know I had an uncle or a cousin until Dad brought you home one day. He’d been dating a really nice woman, a bit younger than him, and he’d been going out a lot and leaving us with Keats. We were expecting him to come home one day with a new wife, but he came home with you and we never saw that woman again.”
Coldness seeped into my chest. “And you never questioned it?”
He swallowed hard. “Dad is going to kill me for this, Remington, but I think you deserve to know. I’ve always thought you should know.”
“Know what, By?” I started to shake.
“The night he brought you home, we were living in Roanoke at the time, we packed up everything we cared about and everything we needed. We loaded up the car and we drove to the house in the mountains. It had been granddad’s place and he’d left it to dad when he died. Dad had been planning to sell, but then you showed up and we went to live there. We never saw or talked to anyone we’d known in Roanoke again.”
“Shit, By. What are you saying?” I had a pretty good idea that something seriously suspicious surrounded my coming into their family, but I couldn’t think of my uncle as a kidnapper or a criminal. That was ridiculous. It was more likely he was keeping me away from some bad element in the family, who wanted custody or something.
He rubbed a hand over his face. “All I know, Remington, is that Dad adores you and he would do anything to keep you safe. I can’t believe for a moment that what he did served any purpose other than protecting you.”
I tended to agree with Byron, but still…“Protect me from what?”
He sighed. “That’s what I’d sure as fuck like to know. He keeps telling me to look out for you, but he never tells me what sort of trouble I’m supposed to be watching for.”
I got up and wrapped my arms around my cousin. “You’ve done a fine job of protecting me. Most people would say you’re more of a nosy Nessie than a big, bad protector, but—”
He had me on the floor and in hysterics in less time than it took me to say his name. He tickled me so good, I couldn’t get enough air to cry uncle. I finally got free of him when one of my helpless kicks landed on his balls. He rolled to his hands and knees gasping for air.
“Well, that was quite entertaining.”
I looked up from my position on the floor to see Worthy looking down at me, grinning. “Hi,” I said. “How are you?”
“I’m good. You?”
I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees. “Actually, I was going to stop by your room next. Since you don’t have to work tonight, I thought maybe we could study together.”
“Sure,” Worthy said. “I was going to call you in a few minutes to ask you the same thing.”
“At the library,” Byron said, like it was a foregone conclusion.
“No,” I said. “Worthy is my boyfriend, and I’m going to study in his room.”
Byron winced. “Get out of my room. I don’t want to know anything about what the two of you are doing, but make sure I don’t ever see you creeping out of Worthy’s room in the morning. I’m not going to interfere, but I am going to pretend you two are a platonic couple who never, ever see each other naked.”
I jumped up and followed Worthy to his room before Byron changed his mind.
Worthy shut the door behind us and caged me in with his body, his hands on either side of my head, my back against the door. “Good thing he didn’t
notice you don’t have a backpack or any books with you.”
“But you noticed,” I said.
“Oh, I definitely noticed.” He pressed his lips to mine and his hands dropped to grip my hips. Just as I was really getting into it, he let me go and stepped away. “I want to talk first.” He sat on the edge of his bed and motioned for me to sit next to him. I did, my hands going clammy with fear about what he was going to say. I wanted him to make me forget, I didn’t want to talk. “You look exhausted. Have you been sleeping?”
“I’m fine,” I said, not meeting his gaze. I hated lying, but I wasn’t ready to talk about this with him. “I’ve just been busy with school and work and I haven’t gotten as much sleep as I should.”
He lifted my chin with his finger, his eyes flashing with something akin to anger. “Don’t lie to me, Remy. It’s the one thing I ask. Have your nightmares gotten worse?”
“You know,” I turned and straddled his lap, pressing my chest against his, “talking is not what I came to your room for.”
“Remy,” he said, his voice a warning tone.
“And if you.” I slid one hand under his shirt and over his washboard abs and wrapped the other in his thick hair. “Continue to be difficult.” I rocked against him a bit, being more forward and daring than I’d thought I’d ever be with a guy. I guess he just brought it out in me. “I will have to notify Byron of your ill treatment of me, his precious cousin.”
“Remy,” he said again, but this time there was no warning in his tone, only heat and desire. I pressed my lips to his and he opened immediately, groaning as I rocked against him again and felt him grow hard. Warmth spread through my lower stomach and with it came a need so sharp I moaned.
“I’m not having sex with you tonight,” he said, as though he were reminding himself as much as warning me. Then he pulled my shirt over my head, unsnapped my bra, and put his mouth to my breast. The pleasure shot straight through me, igniting fireworks behind my closed lids. I pushed him away long enough to take off his shirt and worshipped his naked torso as he’d worshipped mine.
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