DARE TO REMEMBER

by Debra Cowan

  Devon could summon no fear, no panic. Even the rage seemed to be dying. In its place grew a steady determination.

  "We've checked Devon's house for prints. None there, except yours and hers. And we did find a phone tap on Marilee Landry's phone. There's probably one on Devon's, too."

  "There's got to be something we've missed. Someone we've overlooked."

  There was the shuffle of bedcovers, then O'Kelly exclaimed, "What are you doing?"

  "I'm going down to talk to that secretary." A loud crash reverberated through the room, followed by the clatter of a plastic cup on the floor. "Damn."

  "Get back in bed, you idiot. I'll go talk to her."

  Devon walked back into the hospital room wearing a faint smile. Mace perched precariously on the edge of the bed, grimacing and holding a hand to his temple.

  When he saw her, he grinned lopsidedly.

  "Get back in that bed," she said softly.

  He raised a brow at her commanding tone, then winced and did as she said.

  She adjusted the sheet over his low-slung pajama bottoms. He flatly refused to wear a hospital gown. He pressed a soft kiss to the underside of her chin.

  She drew back and looked at him, seeing, and feeling the love in his eyes. But would he admit it? Would he let her in?

  Since remembering Dad's death, she'd thought that testifying at the trial would prove to herself that she was strong enough for Mace. When they were on the run and she'd found herself being drawn to him again, she'd told herself that she might be stronger after the trial.

  Now she realized that she had been becoming stronger every day since then. It wasn't the trial that would prove whether or not she was strong enough to be Mace's wife; it was what she had endured in the last few weeks. And she was stronger.

  She had faced the threats to her life and done so without panicking or causing Mace to lose his own. She had experienced Mace's job—in the most threatening way possible—and survived. It wasn't the thought of the trial looming ahead—some distant, strived-for goal—it was living day-to-day. Living with the realization that Mace might not come home at night, and when he did, to rejoice in that.

  A warmth unfurled inside her, unlike anything she'd ever experienced. She plumped his pillow and smiled at him.

  He grabbed her hand, his gaze searching hers. "Dev, you okay?"

  "Yes, I finally am."

  He breathed a sigh of relief and kissed her hand. "You're looking at me, really seeing me. For a while, you had me scared."

  "Me, too." She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips. "I love you."

  Mace's eyes widened and his hand tightened on hers. "O'Kelly, give us a minute, okay?"

  Devon was barely aware as O'Kelly slipped out behind her.

  Desire and caution battled in Mace's eyes. "Love didn't seem to be enough last time."

  "Oh, Mace." She stroked his cheek, aching for all the hurt she'd caused him. "It was never a question of your not loving me enough. It was certainly never a question of me not loving you. I just wasn't strong enough to be what you needed."

  "I thought I wasn't what you needed," he murmured. His fingers laced with hers and he blurted, "Dev, I love you. Today was too damn close. I thought I was going to lose you."

  "Same here." Tears blinded her eyes. He'd said he loved her.

  He tugged her closer, until her chest nearly rested on his. "Lying in this stupid bed, I thought of all the time we've missed, how much I missed you. I never want to lose you again. We can work something out."

  "I want that, too," she breathed, kissing him gently. "I know I can do this as long as we're together. You tried to tell me that last year—"

  "Shh." He pressed his fingers to her mouth. "No more talk of last year."

  She nodded.

  "I can quit the street—"

  "No, Mace. I meant that. I don't want you to give it up. I can handle it. I can."

  "Man," he groaned. "I'm crazy about you, and if you'd get in this bed with me—"

  "We'd both get tossed out on our ears." She smiled, snuggling closer to him.

  His free hand skimmed up her back. "I want to get married. I won't take no—"

  "Yes. I'll marry you." She smiled, joy pulsing through her where doubt had been only seconds before. "I can't believe you're giving me another chance. After what I—"

  "Hey." He kissed her hard and quickly, then stared straight into her eyes. "I can't believe you're giving me another chance."

  "You won't regret it."

  "Damn right I won't," he growled before his lips covered hers in a kiss that was surprisingly forceful for his weakened state.

  When they drew apart, both breathing a little unevenly, she rested her forehead on his, savoring the joy of the fact that they were together. At last.

  "Devon?"

  "Hmm?"

  "Never think I don't need you."

  His voice was quiet and more somber than she'd ever heard it. She drew back slightly, her gaze locking on his.

  "You're the only thing that keeps me from sinking into the slime I deal with every day. That was one of the first things I fell in love with about you."

  "I never knew that." Wonder spread through her.

  "You're the one pure thing in my life, the other part of myself. Don't ever think I don't need you. I need you more than air."

  "Mace!" Devon was speechless. She could never have imagined that Mace felt that way about her. Leaning down, she kissed him slowly and leisurely, murmuring against his lips, "I love you."

  "I love you, too."

  She sighed into his mouth. "I'm stronger because of you."

  "No." He pulled away a fraction. "You're stronger because of you." Fierce love burned in his eyes. "Come here."

  She leaned down and he cupped her head, kissing her gently. She saw pleasure and peace flare in his eyes. They still had to face the trial. And she still had to deal with Josh, she realized with a belated pang of guilt. But with Mace beside her, she knew she could.

  O'Kelly stepped back into the room, clearing his throat. "Hate to break this up, but we've got some suspects to bring in."

  "You can wait with your mom and I'll call you." Mace's heated blue gaze stayed locked on Devon's face, fueling confidence.

  She smiled at him. "No. I want to be there when you bring them in."

  "Then let's go."

  She wanted to protest that he should rest, but she finally understood, at least partially, that his needs would come second to his job, particularly on this case. She nodded. "Be careful. Please."

  "I will." He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, holding his head for a moment. "I want to get Martressa, then meet you at the station. I'll be there when you ID his guys."

  "I don't want you holding my hand. I need to do this myself."

  "I know," he growled, pulling her between his legs. "I won't get in your way. I'll talk to that secretary while you're busy with the lineup."

  She smiled, though anxiety was creeping back in. "We're doing it together."

  "Yep."

  "I like it."

  They grinned at each other and Devon's heart swelled with love. Leaning down, she whispered in his ear, "Be very careful, so we can celebrate tonight."

  "Whatever you say, babe," he answered in a husky whisper, his hands flexing on her waist. "Now help me get dressed."

  "I think I'd better do it," said O'Kelly from the other side of the bed. "It doesn't look like either one of you is thinking about getting dressed."

  Mace grinned and Devon gave him a quick kiss, then steadied him on his feet. Though his forehead furrowed in pain, he was dressed in a few minutes. He shoved his feet into his boots and grabbed his shoulder holster on the way out the door with Devon and O'Kelly.

  The ride to the police station was accomplished in relative silence. Mace and Devon parted at the bottom of the stairs.

  "Go get 'em," he said softly.

  She squeezed his hand, taking his strength as she walked upstairs with O'Kelly t
o face the last demons of her past.

  * * *

  Chapter 14

  « ^ »

  She stood in a dark room in front of a window and studied the six suspects as they filed in. Recessed lighting cast their shadows on the wall, but brought their faces into vivid relief.

  She sucked in a deep breath. Number four stared blankly at the window and she felt as if he could see right through to her. Her hand shook as she raised a finger to the window. "That's one of the men."

  O'Kelly squeezed her shoulder. "Good. Is that all?" She let her gaze move slowly over the line and halted on the last man. She pressed a calming hand to her suddenly nervous stomach. Never would she forget that scar that slashed his cheek. Nor would she forget the steadiness of his hand as he'd pointed that gun at her father's head. "Number six."

  "Way to go, Devon."

  O'Kelly's praise warmed her. She felt a minute of regret that Mace hadn't been with her, but it faded in the wake of her triumph.

  Her breath eased out and a pressure she hadn't realized was there was released around her chest. Suddenly she felt a sense of euphoria, of victory. She'd done it! She'd identified Dad's killers.

  After signing her statement, she waited while O'Kelly wrapped up some business with Captain Price. As they walked downstairs together, Devon turned to Mace's partner.

  "I have something else I need to do." Before she saw Mace again, she wanted to be free to start a future with him. That meant she needed to talk to Josh.

  O'Kelly pushed open the door for her and they walked outside. "I've got some time. I can go with you."

  "This is something I have to do alone."

  "Mace won't like it if I come back without you."

  "Reid, I'm going alone."

  "Oh." His face flushed and he shifted from one foot to the other. "Well…"

  "Tell Mace I'm doing as I promised. He'll understand."

  * * *

  Josh Van Horn! The slick bastard had been next to Devon the whole time! Raw fury drowned out any sense of victory Mace felt.

  He'd finally gotten a name from the secretary. It had sent him slamming out the door and stalking down the hall toward the room where Devon was identifying the two men she'd seen kill her father.

  He struggled to rein in his anger, not wanting to upset Devon any more than she would already be after seeing those men again. Not to mention how upset she would be when she found out about the bean counter. Damn damn damn.

  He and O'Kelly hadn't seen Van Horn's connection to Martressa at first because it was barely there. He wasn't a relative, but apparently owed Martressa for a favor done long ago to help Van Horn's mother.

  According to Karen Ross, Josh did the odd job for Martressa—a pickup of cash here, a drop-off of drugs there. Never anything to establish a pattern. His latest job was to get close to Devon, to make certain that there had been no witnesses in the house that night as Martressa had feared.

  Mace and O'Kelly had been right. Bill had seen Karen Ross with Martressa, and one of Martressa's men had seen Bill. Martressa had sent Diamond Dale and Terry Carroll to kill Bill that night.

  Only an hour ago, Mace's fellow officers had hauled in Martressa. The man had come easily, smiling that smarmy smile and vowing coolly to be out within the hour. His lawyer had arrived at the station just as Mace had arrived at Martressa's interrogation room.

  Despite the pounding in his head, just the sight of Martressa had set Mace off. He wanted to kill the slime for what he'd done to Bill and to Bill's family. Finally the captain ordered Mace to get his butt out of there and cool off. So he'd gone to talk with Karen Ross.

  As Mace drew even with the squad-room door, O'Kelly stepped out. "Hey, we just finished up here."

  "Where's Devon? Did everything go okay?"

  "She did great, no hesitation at all."

  "You're not going to believe this." Mace walked inside the squad room, looking for Devon. "I just got a name from that secretary. Where is she?"

  "Who, Devon?" O'Kelly frowned. "Who'd the secretary give you?"

  "I need to see Devon."

  O'Kelly gestured toward the stairs. "She just left."

  "Left?" Alarm rolled through Mace. "Why? Where was she going?"

  "She wouldn't say." Concern shadowed O'Kelly's features. "Only said tell you she was doing as she'd promised and you'd understand."

  Mace tried to remember what Devon had promised, but the harder he thought, the more his head hurt. They'd made no promises to each other last night, had they? After learning about Van Horn, he didn't want her out of his sight even for a second. "I don't like it."

  "You two have been together night and day for the past week. How much togetherness can a person stand?"

  "You're a real Romeo, O'Kelly," Mace muttered. Where could she have gone? What promise had she made?

  O'Kelly sobered. "Hey, she sounded pretty sure of herself or I wouldn't have let her go."

  Mace tried to think, ignoring the sharp throbbing in his temple. When he and Devon had been standing in the doorway of her house… No! She'd told him she was going to break things off with Josh.

  "Oh, hell!" Mace tore past his partner and bolted down the stairs.

  O'Kelly was right on his heels. "Garrett, what gives?"

  "She's gone to see Van Horn!" Mace elbowed and pushed his way through a glut of officers at the bottom of the stairs. The nausea in his belly had nothing to do with the injury to his head. "Van Horn's the name I got from Karen Ross."

  "Damn!" O'Kelly caught up to him. "We'll need backup."

  "Let's go."

  O'Kelly yelled behind him for another unit, and Lightsey and Palmer rushed out the door behind him.

  Mace and O'Kelly piled into Mace's car. He slapped on the siren and screeched out of the parking lot. "Why the hell did you let her leave, Reid?"

  O'Kelly replaced the radio he'd used to call for additional backup. "I don't know," he said miserably. "She didn't tell me where she was going, but I should've stuck with her. I'm sorry."

  Mace could see the guilt on his friend's face and it bit at him. He curbed his anger and frustration. "You couldn't have known. It's not your fault."

  "We'll get there in time." O'Kelly stared across the car at Mace.

  He fought against the black rage shooting through him. "If he so much as makes her scream, he's a dead man."

  "Maybe you should let me and the others handle it."

  Mace shot him a withering look. "No chance in hell."

  O'Kelly grinned and grabbed his seat belt. "Well, I gave it a shot."

  * * *

  "What do you mean, you can't see me anymore?" Josh's voice hardened and Devon felt a pang of regret.

  "I'm sorry, Josh, but I really can't. It's not fair to leave you hanging like this."

  "So you're dumping me?" He laughed bitterly. "Isn't that something?"

  She frowned, a little uneasy at the anger she could feel emanating from him. "It's for the best. You deserve someone who can commit to you and I'm not that person."

  She had checked her machine, finding three urgent-sounding messages from him. She knew he'd been worried, and she felt bad that the news she'd come to give him wasn't good. He'd been relieved to see her at the door, pulling her inside and hugging her for a long time. Now he stood across the room from her, holding two glasses of iced tea he'd gotten from the kitchen.

  He placed the glasses on the bar behind him. "You're just anxious. You've been through a lot in the last several days."

  He had no idea exactly what she'd been through, but he was trying to understand. He'd always been so understanding.

  "No, Josh," she said gently. "Please believe that I've thought a lot about this. It doesn't have anything to do with my being gone. I just don't feel about you the way I should."

  "You'll like it there, Devon. You'll see. We'll leave here and go to Chicago."

  She noticed his bag then, sitting in the hallway. Had he just returned from another trip? "Did you get the job?"

&n
bsp; "Yes, of course." He eyed her strangely.

  She pushed her hair away from her face. He was taking this much harder than she'd anticipated. "I won't be going with you, Josh. I mean it. I don't want this to end badly, but—"

  "It's that cop, isn't it?" He stared at her and a muscle twitched in his jaw. His velvet brown eyes turned hard as flint. "The one you were engaged to?"

  "This is about you and me." She'd known it would be unexpected for him, but hadn't considered that he would take it so hard.

  "You've been spending time with him and now you're confused."

  "That's not why I'm breaking up with you." She hadn't given him any of the details of her stay with Mace, but she didn't like the feral gleam in Josh's eye. Caution edged in and she inched toward the door.

  He saw her movement and smiled wryly as he moved to a small secretary on the far wall. He opened the middle drawer. "Your mom told me all about him. But that's over now."

  "Josh, I came here to tell you that I can't see you anymore. That's all."

  He turned toward her, his hand still in the drawer. "I know you've been upset about your dad's murder. You should've confided in me. I would've helped you."

  "I wasn't ready. I don't like talking about it." What was wrong with him? He seemed focused on some inner battle. She moved closer to the door.

  "What have you remembered, Devon? How much?"

  "What? What are you talking about?" A sudden suspicion snaked through her mind. Josh couldn't know that she'd recalled witnessing Dad's murder. Could he?

  "I'm talking about the hit on your father."

  The hit? The phrase turned her stomach. Horror shot through her. "Oh, no."

  Josh pulled a gun from the drawer and pointed it at her.

  "I know you saw the whole thing. The boys thought they heard a noise that night, but couldn't stay around to check for witnesses. It's been so long we'd about decided there hadn't been one. But there was."

  "We?" She could hardly process what he was saying. Josh was involved? Josh, whom she'd dated? Josh, who had been in her house, her mother's house?

  The phone calls! Josh had been the link Mace had tried to find each time their hiding place had been discovered. Nausea churned in her stomach. "How are you involved? Why?"