The Pinocchio Megapack: 4 Classic Puppet Tales

by Carlo Collodi

  CHAPTER 33

  An Old Story

  The grand chamberlain was announced.

  This grave person had come to inquire about his majesty’s health, and at the same time to notify him that the council had fixed the day for the coronation.

  Pinocchio the First listened and approved. The grand chamberlain, very much pleased with his reception, made a deep bow, and was apparently about to retire, when, as if he had forgotten something important, he approached the emperor again and said with great respect, “Your majesty, in the name of the council I must announce to you that to-morrow the lessons begin.”

  “What lessons?” said the marionette, feeling a chill creep down his back.

  “Ah! I will explain,” the chamberlain replied meekly. “The things that your majesty must do to straighten out the affairs of state are very simple. Only two words are needed, ‘Yes’ and ‘No!’ But to say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ at the proper time requires at least one month of instruction. To make sure that you learn, there will be, twice each day, a punishment of ten lashes of the whip, to be given your majesty on whatever part of the body you may desire. However, in view of the present wisdom of your majesty, the council has agreed that the lessons and the lashings may be delayed till the end of the month, if your majesty so decides.”

  Pinocchio had listened gloomily until he heard the last words, and then he came near laughing outright. He kept his face very serious, however, and bowed his head as if in deep thought. After a long silence he said, “I have decided to leave the lessons till the end of the month.”

  The grand chamberlain made a profound bow and went out.

  The servants went away also, and Pinocchio, finding himself alone, jumped about in great glee.

  “Compulsory fiddlesticks! What blockheads they were to think that I was going to start to-day! At the end of the month, perhaps! There are still thirty days, and in thirty days what may not happen!” And he looked about quite satisfied with himself. He was sure that everything would go well during his stay in Africa.

  “If they sprinkled my hair with gold, they will fill my pockets with money,” he thought. And then to his surprise he found that the suit they had put on him had no pockets.

  “I shall make pockets as soon as I have time,” he said, and striking the pan, ordered the servants to bring in his breakfast.

  CHAPTER 34

  His Duties As Emperor

  Pinocchio was served with a piece of elephant’s nose, cooked in a highly seasoned sauce. How he twisted his face and ground his teeth! Evidently the meal was not to his liking. He would have preferred some fish, some grapes, and a dozen figs, but he was ashamed to ask for these dainties. He gulped down the food as best he could, and drank from a gourd a great deal of water; then he felt more comfortable.

  His ministers had been waiting some time, and Pinocchio did not think it wise to prolong his first meal. With a truly stately stride he entered the audience chamber.

  Pinocchio the First, Emperor and King of all Africa, felt it to be his first duty to express his gratitude for the magnificent reception that had been given to him. The ministers made an equally polite response.

  Persons of rank now came to pay homage to the new king. Among them were great chiefs of tribes, princes, and kings of the neighboring states. Pinocchio received them all with much pomp. This sort of thing was at first very pleasing to him. But day after day the visitors and the feasts continued. As Pinocchio was the host, he had to eat with all these newcomers. He became very stout, and his jaws ached from so much chewing. Eating was becoming a burden to him. He even longed for the days when he had gone hungry. However, one must take things as they come and be ready to suffer for the good of one’s country.

  One day there came to the court three kings, the most powerful within a range of a thousand miles. The first was clad in a white skirt, and a military coat which he had bought from an English captain. He came with his head uncovered and a high hat in his hand. The second wore an old helmet on the back of his head. The third carried a clumsy sword in one hand and in the other a broken umbrella.

  They bowed to the ground very respectfully, and then each in turn slapped Pinocchio in the face.

  The marionette, who did not expect this sort of greeting, was about to express his anger, when the master of ceremonies whispered in his ear that such a greeting was given only to great people.

  “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” thought Pinocchio, and he smiled at the visitors.

  Dinner was then announced. Pinocchio felt sick at the thought of eating again. It was the fifth time that day, and the sun was still high in the sky, but of course it was not proper to dismiss three kings without having feasted them.

  They went out to the dining room, which was under a tree. Beneath the branches were more than a thousand people. They all sat on the ground, and were waited upon by tall young men, who carried around large plates of meat. The three kings gave themselves up to the joys of eating. They took their food in their hands and swallowed it without even stopping to chew it. Each man ate enough to satisfy a score of ordinary people, for African kings are great eaters. The poor marionette tried to eat as much as the others did. He felt that his reputation depended upon it. How he suffered!

  At sunset, when all had satisfied their hunger, there was placed before them a strange-looking affair with a long tube fastened to it. A disagreeable smoke came out of it.

  “What new thing is this?” thought the marionette, but he did not say a word, for by this time he had learned that an emperor must appear to know everything.

  The matter, however, was quickly made clear. The outfit was a huge pipe, with a long mouthpiece. The master of ceremonies presented the mouthpiece to the emperor and asked him to have the kindness to smoke.

  “What blockheads!” the marionette muttered to himself. “I never smoke anything but the finest cigars!”

  Still, he considered it wise to make no objections. He puffed twice on the pipe stem, and then passed it to the king that sat at his right hand.

  The king drew a mouthful and then passed the pipe to his next neighbor. Thus the pipe moved along in regular order until it came back to Pinocchio. Poor Pinocchio! he was already feeling a little queer after his first attempt, and did not enjoy the idea of smoking again; but he knew that he must live up to the reputation of a great emperor. Accordingly he bravely took the pipe and puffed half a dozen times.

  Alas! It would have been better for him had he not tried it again! He was wretchedly sick. His head swam dizzily, and the sweat stood out on his forehead. He tried to hide his feelings by talking, but what he said was sheer nonsense.

  “When I was king in my own country, the Talking Cricket told me—because my feet burned—that the alphabet had been swallowed by the cat—that was hung to a tree by a dog—that was owned by the director of the circus.”

  He gazed around him, frightened at his own words, but he saw the flushed faces of the people and heard them whisper: “The sea talks—” “The sun is filled with stars—” “The tiger laughs—” “The summer is red—” and similar phrases equally sensible.

  “What is the matter with everybody?” thought the marionette, as he looked about, and saw one of the kings asleep on the ground beside him. Other forms were stretched out around them. Even as he looked, Pinocchio the First, Emperor and King of all Africa, fell over on his wooden nose, and he too was soon fast asleep.

  CHAPTER 35

  Pinocchio Makes His First Address

  The next day was a splendid one. The sky was a clear blue, the earth was green and fresh. Thousands upon thousands shouted with joy. Pinocchio was to be crowned king and emperor.

  He had carefully prepared the royal address, and came proudly forward mounted upon a large elephant, towering above his people. The trumpets sounded, the drums beat, the children rolled on the
ground. At a signal from the master of ceremonies all was still. Even the birds ceased to sing. A troop of monkeys, leaping about in the trees, paused to listen. The emperor spoke as follows:

  “Ministers of Africa, officers of the army, chiefs and underchiefs, servants and slaves, men, women, and children, all, beloved subjects, listen to the voice of your emperor!”—and Pinocchio looked around at the multitude.

  “We, Pinocchio the First, speak to you, and bring to you the word of peace and of love. A new day is about to open to you. Rejoice, O people! We have concluded to bring happiness to every heart and riches to every home. We shall not reveal all the plans which, in time, we hope to see carried out. We shall begin very modestly. Our first gift to you, O people, is Time. Time is very valuable. We have a great deal of it in store. Our kingdom is rich in Time; therefore we have decreed to give each of you as much Time as you want. How can we be more generous!

  “Behold the bright sun in the clear blue sky! There is not its equal anywhere else in the world. Kings are proud of it. We, your emperor and ruler, have decreed that every one of you, our faithful subjects, may enjoy the sunlight free of any charge, without tax or duty. Can we be more unselfish?

  “You hear the song of the birds, the voices of the animals, the rustling of the leaves in the wind! These also we give you to enjoy at your leisure, and without expense.

  “There is one thing, however, that needs our special notice, and this we shall now bring to your attention. Remember, we shall enforce with all our power this law we are about to propose.”

  Here Pinocchio placed his hand upon his breast and looked toward the sky.

  “We will never introduce into our kingdom that shameful system which brings sorrow to many countries known to us. We speak of the horrible scheme called Compulsory Education! What a disgrace it is, beloved subjects, to see so many bright, intelligent children seated for hours and hours before books which ruin their eyesight! The eye is a precious jewel, and it is improved, not by books, but by looking here and there, above and below, everywhere and anywhere, as the butterflies and the birds do. Let us teach our children as nature teaches us. Let us burn our books and our schools. Do not drive our dear little ones to silly words and cruel numbers. It makes our heart bleed to see parents call their children from some pleasant game and shut them up in ugly schoolrooms.”

  At this point Pinocchio was so moved that he had to stop. He looked around at the many mothers, and saw them wipe the tears from their eyes. Proud of the impression his words had made on these kind hearts, he went on in a tone so pathetic that it touched even the elephant which carried him.

  “These are gentle tears, dear subjects, and they show how noble are your hearts. You love your children. We ourselves will never see them suffer. No, a thousand times no! We are not so cruel as to tear you away from your dear ones. They may continue to roll upon the grass, free as the birds that fly. They are free to hunt for crickets, to steal birds’ nests, to bite and to kick each other, to run and play in the fields and woods with the monkeys.

  “We consider these exercises very necessary, and whenever the grave affairs of the state will permit we will visit you and encourage these sports. You perceive that in this matter you owe much to your emperor, who was made to go to school, and who saw the evils of education. Alas! too many of his young companions were completely ruined so far as their eyes and brains were concerned.

  “Officers and soldiers, ministers of the crown, beloved subjects, we, Pinocchio the First, Emperor and King, ask you to shout with all the breath in your lungs: ‘Down with Compulsory Education! Down with the school!’”

  A deafening roar, louder than thunder, arose from the people: “Down with Compulsory Education! Down with the school!”

  This speech was followed by a review of the troops, which lasted till night.

  Emperor Pinocchio, tired but satisfied, then returned in state to the royal palace.

  CHAPTER 36

  The Emperor Becomes As Black As A Crow

  It was no easy matter to be an emperor. There was a great deal of work to be done, and work was always tiresome to Pinocchio. Each day he must get out of bed at a fixed hour, and allow himself to be washed and oiled. Then came breakfast, and after that the ministers with the affairs of state.

  True, his work did not seem hard. He had only to say “Yes” or “No.” But in the task of deciding whether it should be “Yes” or “No” lay the real difficulty.

  Sometimes he would be left with only a few servants, among them some boys to entertain him or to drive away the flies with big feather dusters, which tickled his nose and made him sneeze. These were pleasant moments in his life, but he was often bored, and being a cunning rogue he thought out a plan by which once in a while he could be freed from care.

  Among the boys at the court was one who resembled him in all things except in the color of his skin. What had Pinocchio planned?

  One day, while strolling through the woods near the capital, he called the boy to him and taking his arm, said to him in a gentle voice, “Do you love your emperor?”

  “Is it necessary to ask, your majesty?” replied the boy, moved to tears at such an honor.

  “And should you like to do your emperor a favor?”

  “Your majesty, to do you a service I would go at once, with only my feather duster to protect me, and pinch a boa constrictor’s tongue!”

  “Good!” replied Pinocchio. “You are a fine lad, and you will become a great man. But let us put aside boa constrictors for the time. I have often been sad because I am not like my subjects. I should like to color my skin so that it would be like a native’s, dear Marameho, like yours. You know how pleased the ministers would be.”

  “Your majesty, it would be the brightest day of our lives!”

  “Good boy!” exclaimed the marionette. “If you always answer so well, I promise you the place of keeper of the king’s treasures.”

  The boy’s eyes shone.

  “Well, can it be done?” asked the marionette.

  “Nothing more simple, your majesty,” replied Marameho. “I know of a plant, the fruit of which will serve our purpose.”

  “When can we get this wonderful dye?”

  “Today, if your majesty will permit me to absent myself for a short time,” replied Marameho with great respect.

  “Go, go at once,” ordered the marionette, greatly delighted. “But wait; there is something more. We are alone and may drop our titles. Your majesty, your highness, weary me to death. Call me plain Pinocchio, and I will call you my dear Marameho.”

  The poor boy was overcome with all this kindness, and planting a kiss upon the point of his emperor’s nose, he vanished through the trees.

  The next day a proclamation was made throughout the empire. His royal and imperial highness had become as black as the blackest of his subjects. The ministers were joyous, and they celebrated this happy event with a great feast. That day they did nothing but eat and dance.

  As a rule the emperor, of course, could not take part in such amusements. It was his business to sit upon the throne while the ministers and the people danced and played before him. This time, however, the ancient law was broken. Pinocchio danced like a madman the entire night, while the faithful Marameho, clothed in the emperor’s garments, sat upon the throne. No one even dreamed of the exchange.

  CHAPTER 37

  The Hippopotamus Hunt

  The next day was set aside for a hunt in honor of the young emperor, Pinocchio the First. He would have been content to stay home, but this would have been taken as a grave insult to the people.

  A herd of hippopotamuses had been discovered a few miles from the capital. His ministers agreed that the emperor must go. There was nothing else for him to do.

  Besides, the hunt was for scientific purposes. As Pinocchio had made known his view
s on schools, he could do no less than encourage this expedition, which was the only educational training allowed in the country.

  The hunters, in fact, were persons of high rank, who spent their time in searching for traces of wild animals. It seemed strange to Pinocchio that these learned hunters did not study how to protect their animals, instead of trying to kill them.

  “I suppose it is the custom of the country,” thought the marionette.

  Two hours before sunrise the leaders in the hunt, armed with bows, arrows, and javelins, stood before the royal palace waiting for the emperor. He was to ride on the back of a bull, which the prime minister held by a rope.

  They were not kept waiting long. Pinocchio the First came forth with a pleasant smile upon his lips. Inwardly, he was very angry, but little did his faithful subjects suspect how he felt.

  “A fine time for a king to rise!” he thought. “Am I or am I not emperor? If I am emperor, I should sleep as long as I wish, eat what I please, and do anything I like. It seems to me that I am the slave of my people rather than their ruler. Wait, my dear subjects; I will soon prove to you what stuff I am made of.”

  The people waited. The ministers explained to the emperor that he was to ride on the bull.

  “My dear subjects, have you lost your senses?” thought the marionette. “I certainly will not ride on a bull. How long have bulls been used as horses? This beast will hurl me into the first ditch we come to. A fine regard you have for your emperor! I almost begin to believe that you want to get rid of me and have another king.”

  However, there was no way of escape, and he decided to do as he was told. He leaped squarely upon the bull, and calmly sat there. The bull, fortunately, did not move.