Not Enough: Is love ever enough? (The Enough Series Book 1)

by Bloom, Nikole

  Turning back to Cardie and Bella, “It has been great chatting with you Bella but I had better go save my date.” She gives me a knowing smile and shoos me away towards the most gorgeous man in the room, Austin.

  I cross the room, slide his drink into his hand, and my free arm around his waist. I can see relief cross his face as he takes a large sip. The conversation between the men hits a small lull and I interject, “Boys I am going to have to borrow my date for a moment if you don’t mind. I have a few friends here I would like him to meet.”

  They all look at me stunned but nod in acceptance. They are obviously used to having Austin all to themselves. Well not anymore fellas, the pretty boy QB is mine tonight.

  I take Austin by the hand and walk towards the bar where I left Cardie and Bella. Austin pulls me back into him and wraps his arm around me, “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he whispers into my ear.

  “Anytime gorgeous, anytime,” I say as I turn in his arms meeting his eyes.

  I am lost in his eyes and the comfort of his embrace. I want to be here, to stay here, and to lose myself in him. The desire in his eyes tells me he would welcome the idea. Raising my hands to his chest, I reluctantly break our connection and take a small step back.

  He too understands the need to separate and comes to my side, “So you have friends to introduce me to?” I can’t help giggling since I don’t know anyone here except Cardie and Bella who I just met.

  In an effort to keep my word I walk purposely, back to the bar to my new favorite couple. Austin follows with a hand on my lower back sending a thrill throughout my body. I am well aware that Austin knows them both but I play along as Bella turns towards me. “Austin, I would like you to meet my new friends Bella and Cardie.”

  They all look at me as if I am crazy but play along and shake hands before Cardie pulls Austin into one of those mock guy hugs. I lean into Bella explaining, “I told the group of men hogging Austin I had some friends I wanted him to meet. I never said he was meeting them for first time.”

  She laughs, “Oh girl you are bad.” We stand and chat with Bella and Cardie before heading to our table only to find they are sitting with us. Truthfully, I am relieved to have someone else besides Austin to talk to since we are walking a virtual tightrope in our relationship tonight.

  The owner, coach of Austin’s team, and their spouses are also seated at our table. Shortly after everyone takes their seats, our host for the evening takes the stage and gives a short speech explaining the night and the charity we are supporting. He thanks a few people individually who donated time, money, or auction items.

  Tonight there will be dinner, dancing, a silent auction, and of course gambling. I am looking forward to all of it except the dancing; being in Austin's arms will certainly test my waning willpower.

  Chapter 10

  Dinner was an exceptional three-course meal that started with Maryland style crab cakes. The salad was mixed greens salad with sweet and tangy vinaigrette. The main course was a fish filet stuffed with spinach and red pepper wrapped asparagus stalks.

  Throughout dinner, Austin kept one hand on my thigh absentmindedly tracing patterns across my skin. We engaged in light-hearted banter with our table and stole glances at one another here and there. As the night wore on the hand on my leg inched higher and higher until I found myself with a delicious ache forming between my thighs. As the last of our dinner plates are being cleared and I excuse myself to the ladies’ room needing a moment to compose myself and allow the heat between my legs to dissipate.

  After I wash my hands and straighten my hair and lipstick, I return to our table. Austin stands up as I arrive pulling my chair out. My heart melts at the chivalrous nature of the gesture. I realize that I need to be careful not to give him the impression I am ready to take the next step in our relationship until I am sure I can be the woman I believe he deserves.

  Once I am seated Austin sits down sliding his chair closer to mine and draping his arm around my shoulder. I unconsciously stiffen at the gesture now cognizant of my body’s reaction to his every touch. I know it would be easy to fall into his arms both literally and figuratively, but I can’t, not yet anyway. He pulls me into him as he leans down to my ear and whispers, “Remember past be damned, we are just having fun tonight.” He then places a feather light kiss behind my ear softening my newfound resolve as a shiver of ecstasy runs down my spine.

  Past be damned, just have fun I tell myself as I melt into Austin’s side. “So Rylee tell me how did you and Austin meet,” Bella asks over the idle chitchat going on around the table.

  Austin and I instinctively smile at one another before I turn to her. “Austin caught my dog, Boss.”

  She looks between Austin and I who are both still grinning ridiculously at the memory. “No, I think there is more to that story, now spill it.”

  Austin looks at me and I nod in assent signaling he can expand further on the story. Much to my surprise, he recounts every detail including his sweet plea for me to be his friend. By the time, he finishes the story I realize all eyes at the table are on us and everyone is smiling.

  A round of ahh’s and so sweets follows before Austin shocks me by pulling me into the sweetest and softest kiss of my life, our first kiss. With his free hand, he turned my head towards him with a light touch on the side of my face and then leaned in pressing his lips to mine. The second his lips left mine, our eyes met, and my world begin to crumble.

  Austin senses my fear, grabs my hand, and excuses us both from the table. With a tight arm wrapped around my waist, he leads us out of the ballroom to a secluded stairwell. I am nearly gasping for air as the stairwell door closes and I struggle to reign in the panic.

  Why, why did he have to do that? Why do I now crave tasting him again? I need a little more time to sort through all of my crap. More time but how much more time can I expect him to give me? Our first kiss, it replays repeatedly in my head. That was our first kiss, and it was perfect yet I reacted like a terrified child. I cannot even look at him right now for fear of my emotions.

  I hate that he has the power to bring forth all the emotions I have kept locked away for years. I don’t like feeling like this. Well, that is not true I love how Austin makes me come alive both physically and emotionally. He makes me feel special and wanted. I, on the other hand, worry myself into a tizzy and can’t let go of the past long enough to see the dream standing in front of me asking to be my future.

  My mind is racing and my heart is beating out of my chest when Austin cradles my face and looks deep into my eyes. I can see the worry and tenderness in his eyes, which has a strange calming effect on me. My mind is jumbled and I cannot find coherent words to express myself. I am not upset about the kiss it was perfect. Hell, he is perfect. The problem is I am not ready and although he promised me he would not push me, he is. Not knowing what else to do, I place my forehead on his chest and just breathe.

  We stand there surrounded by silence as Austin runs his strong hands up and down my bare arms. He leans down and kisses the top of my head before taking a deep breath. “Ry?” My name comes out as a question and I can tell he is waiting for me to say something but I can’t I don’t have the words right now.

  I shake my head against his chest and he pulls me in close. “Ry, baby, I am so sorry. I promised I wouldn’t push you and I did. It wasn’t my intention. I was carried away by the moment. Please forgive me; it won’t happen again I promise.”

  I feel a little better knowing he wasn’t trying to push things, but, in reality, I already knew that. I know because, I know Austin and, he would never purposely hurt me. He has been going out of his way since we met to respect my wishes.

  In this situation, I am not mad at Austin I am upset with myself. I have to find a way out of my head before the best thing that ever walked into my life walks back out. To steady my mind, I wrap my arms around Austin and inhale his scent that makes my knees weak. He relaxes slightly against me as my demeanor thaws.

  It is
becoming increasingly clear I need to decide. I cannot keep running from him by running into his arms. It isn’t fair to him. I decide on the spot that after tonight I am going to the cabin for a few days to sort everything out. Maybe the time away from him will allow me to think clearly enough to make a rational decision.

  With my newfound plan in place, I push back from Austin and draw his gaze. His eyes are a storm of emotion I am sure mimics my own. My heart constricts painfully knowing I am causing the pain that is so clear in his beautiful face.

  “Austin, we should go back in before people miss you.”

  Sliding a strand of wayward hair behind my ear, he sends a wave of warmth down my body straight to my heart. “We are not going anywhere until I’m sure we are ok Ry.”

  I reach up stopping him mid-sentence with a finger to the lips because I’d bet he is going to apologize again. He isn’t the one who needs to be apologizing and I do not want our first kiss marred by guilt on his part. I have already made it hard enough for him and I want to remedy that. Our night has been magical and I understand how he lost himself in the moment. I felt the connection too. Our connection is undeniable but I am still not sure it is enough to risk my heart.

  I slide my finger off his lips and to his neck pulling him down the short distance. I press my lips to his and wrap my arms around his neck. The kiss is soft, sweet, and incredibly hot. He takes the lead and parts my mouth with his and our tongues dance slowly with one another.

  The kiss is full of emotion and promise the way a first kiss should be. Pulling back from him, I can see the confusion across his face, “Austin, I am not ready but there is no way I would let our first kiss be ruined by a moment of panic on my part.”

  His face relaxes as he smiles at me. “First kiss, huh? Does that mean I can hope there will be a second?” I know the answer he wants to hear and I hope that after a little time away I can give him what he wants.

  For now all I can offer is, “I hope so, just give me some time.”

  He flashes me a panty-melting smile, “I will take that, baby you can all the time you want I will be here when you are ready.” He grabs my hand and we make our way back towards the ballroom.

  Chapter 11

  Walking into the ballroom where several couples have taken to the dance floor, Austin pulls me in front of him so that my back is to him with his hands on my waist. Not sure, what the deal is, I stop to ask him and he runs smack into me. I feel his hardness press into my back and realize there is no need for an explanation as to why he wanted me in front of him. “Sorry,” I say over my shoulder as I walk towards the dance floor.

  Once I reach the dance floor, I turn towards Austin and place my hands on his strong shoulders. “I thought you could use a minute before we return to the table,” I say glancing towards his obvious erection.

  Austin gives me a shy smile before leaning down to my ear, “If you think me holding you on a dance floor will help relieve the situation you are crazy. I am in this situation because you kissed me, but I will happily dance with you anyway.”

  Sadly, I am flattered that he is having such a reaction to me but I also realize we have to remedy the situation. He reaches down between us to adjust himself clearly uncomfortable and I am at a loss as to how to help. Well, I know how I could help but we certainly cannot cross that line right now. I come up with a devious plan I hope he doesn’t kill me.

  “Close your eyes,” I say demandingly.

  “What,” he says questioningly.

  “Close your eyes. I am going to talk it down.”

  He starts laughing, “Did you really refer to my penis as it?”

  Now I am laughing too at my juvenile phrasing. “Yes, I did now close your eyes.”

  He closes them but peeks through one eye as he smiles at me. It is moments like these that I adore this man. We can turn any situation into a good time even one as awkward as this.

  Now that I am convinced he is complying with my request, I push up to my toes so that I can speak directly into his ear without anyone else hearing. I start running my hands slowly down his back in a sensual manner aware that this make matters worse but I am going for a shock and awe effect.

  “Do you feel my hands?” He nods.

  “Good, now imagine my hands exploring your body in the shower. Rubbing slippery soap up and down your back and chest and massaging all your tight muscles.”

  His breathing has escalated, and he is holding me as tightly as possible, “Ry, you have to know this is not helping.”

  I crack a sly smile, “Oh baby it will, just give me a minute,” I whisper in his ear before lightly nibbling his earlobe.

  Continuing the assault on his senses, I press myself into his erection and kiss his neck. Now that I have him worked up it is time for the shock and awe.

  “Now picture all of your 300 pound linemen in the shower with us. Imagine all the skin, all the smells, and oh god all those dongs.”

  I can’t help but laughing at the absurdity of the word dongs and the astonished look on Austin’s face. “Jesus, Ry that was worse than a cold shower.”

  I glance down to see that our friend has softened, “Well it worked didn’t it,” I challenge.

  He shakes his head before spinning me out of his arms and back again. “You know you nearly made me blow in my pants before you broke out the dongs.”

  I shrug with a satisfied smile. “I was going for a shock and awe effect.” He spins me around again. “Well mission accomplished, but you will pay for that one day.”

  I hadn’t really noticed but Austin is gracefully leading us around the dance floor and several people have gathered to watch. As I spin back into him again, “I will not be paying for anything I was helping you remember sport.”

  With a wink, he continues to guide us around the dance floor and as the song ends, he dips me low with flare. There is a small round of applause as he pulls me back up into his arms and we take a mock bow. All smiles we walk back to our table hand in hand where receive another round of applause and a few cheers from Bella. “Damn, you two can dance. Austin you need to teach Cardie some of those moves,” she says beaming at us.

  Cardie, on the other hand, laughs as he retorts, “Woman I can dance I just don’t do that ballroom nonsense. But, now we know where Austin gets all his fancy footwork on the field from.”

  “Well Cardie why don’t you and mister fancy footwork go get your ladies some drinks.” Cardie smiles before standing up. “Come on, Austin I believe we are being dismissed.”

  Austin looks to me, “What would you like Ry?”

  I quickly recount the drinks I have had tonight and decide one more will be ok, “A vodka and seven please.”

  He lifts my hand placing kissing my palm. “Coming right up,” he teases and walks to the bar with Cardie.

  Bella immediately moves into the chair next to mine placing her elbows on the table and her head on her fists. “Alright girly, you said you two are only friends but from what I just saw in the past half an hour that man is in love with you.”

  I don’t really want to have the me and Austin conversation with Bella but I also don’t see a way around it. So, I reply, “I know.”

  She looks surprised, “You know? As in you know he is in love with you?”

  I nod in the affirmative. “Things between us are complicated. And before you start wondering the friend designation is my decision not Austin’s.”

  My eyes tear up slightly and Bella moves her chair closer taking my hands, a move that unnerves me. “Honey, I don’t pretend it is my business what goes on between the two of you. But I can also say I have never seen two people who looked like they belong together more than the two of you.”

  She is right. Every person in this room would attest to the fact that we appear to belong together, and maybe we do. However, I won’t commit myself to him until I can do so without reservations.

  “Bella, I know what you see between Austin and I because I feel it every day. He is the most amazing man on
the planet and I am falling head over heels in love with him, but I have to let go of a few things before I can be who he deserves.”

  She looks at me shocked, “Let me get this straight you know he is in love with you, and you are in love with him, but you are protecting him from you?” I smile and nod.

  “Oh, girl you need to let go of whatever it is and embrace the love. Look at him; he hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since they walked over there.” I glance up to see she is right, he is staring at me with a goofy grin on his face as he laughs at something Cardie says.

  I meet her eyes, “I am trying to believe me, it is priority one on my to-do list.” Then the announcement sounds indicating dessert will be served.

  I see Bella nod to Cardie before he and Austin start back to the table. “Hang in there girl, I have a feeling you two will find your way,” she says before moving back to her chair.

  The rest of the night was full of laughter and fun. We gambled a few hands only to find out we are both terrible at it. We danced through several songs and thoroughly enjoyed the company we kept. At the end of the night, the announcer summoned everyone back to their tables to announce the winners of the silent auction. I didn’t tell Austin that I had bid on one particular item, ‘A Day with Austin Black’.

  I hadn’t intended to bid on anything but as I perused the auction table, I saw his item and couldn’t help but notice it was mainly women who were bidding. It might as well of said ‘A Date with Austin Black’ seeing that the winner could choose the activities. The high bid was $2,000 before my bid of $5,000. I was so swept up the rest of the night I forgot to check on it again.

  The announcer read the list of winners leading up to Austin’s item and my nervousness increased with every item. By the time he read the introduction to Austin’s day, I was barely breathing. I want to win but I also don’t want Austin to be upset I denied him an experience with a fan. “With a winning bid of $5,000 Rylee Ash will be spending a day with Austin Black.”